I hate Man of Steel, I hate Goyer and Snyder...you get the idea. We all probably think we could write a better and more accurate Superman, right? Well prove it. Let's set up a scene, ladies and gents.
First up, let's decided where and when we begin, ok?
>>82532272
Let's start with Clark Kent in his room masturbating as a teenager
>>82532272
It has to start with a montage of Jor-El launching the rocket into space, Krypton exploding, and the baby getting discovered by the Kents. No words, music playing. Kind of like All-Star Superman. Everybody knows the fucking story, just give it a nod and move on. A minute of screen time max.
>>82532361
he get's caught by Pa Kent, and that's when he learns he needs to keep his super side a secret from normal people.
They talk and Clark learns about responsibility
Ok, ok, so which should I do?
>>82532361 and >>82532536
or >>82532386
You all are the writers, I am merely the scrivener.
>>82532386
Make it about 5 minutes with the John Williams superman theme playing, that should provide an excellent intro
>>82532361
As his mom walks in as he's cumming, his spunk shoots through the computer/wall and puts a 10 foot hole in his house.
>>82532272
He becomes a serial rapist.
I think it would realy add to the character.
>>82532647
I would want more of an homage thing. Like if the main elements of the theme were in the background
>>82532361
>>82532386
>>82532536
>>82532647
>>82532682
>>82532693
>>82532696
Ok, what do I pick?
>>82532708
You need more agency, OP. Just pick one.
>>82532708
SUPERMASTURBATION
>>82532272
Can we make Superman's first villain Metallo? I always wanted him to be the world's first response against the alien invader. He could be a victim of one of Superman's failures and wants to defeat him to show the world that he isn't the savior they think he is
>>82532272
Tell that to Zod's snapped neck!
>>82532746
That's what I had in mind too!
>>82532746
I'll do the doomed planet, but if I can, I'll try to add the masturbation scene...maybe as a last thought.
>>82532386
>bvs did this
>you guys shit on it for it
>completely willing to do the exact same move
>>82532708
I think everyone likes the no-dialogue montage intro.
After that we cut in-media-res to Supes in supes battling someone on the moon.
Who? One of his enemies. Which one doesn't matter. Why they're fighting? Doesn't matter. This is him wrapping up a previous unseen adventure. Supes wins, flies home, changes his clothes, relaxes in his clark-kent apartment. Has a private moment. Just him, being himself by himself for a quite evening. Maybe even enjoying some music or food.
Phone rings -- it's Lois. They have to go cover some story.
Clark smiles, pulls himself off the couch and says he'll meet her there.
>>82532814
We shit on the batman scene?
I get not liking the Man of Steel intro because it took away from the movie that should been about the character of superman, not Jor-el and Zod and the rest of the Kryptonians
>>82532272
Call it The Man of Tomorrow
>>82532843
Oh, I like this....
>>82532884
No, because that's what I'm calling my other screenplay that I'm working on for real.
>>82532843
>I think everyone likes the no-dialogue montage intro.
This page with the Superman theme playing
>>82532843
This is good.
>>82532843
This
>>82532746
Metallo/Luthor would work, have Lex and Clark know each other from Smallville like in Birthright.
>>82532867
people expressed their offenses to the movie very loudly.
and not that i defend the totality of the mos intro, i understand why it's there
>Clark kent at the daily planet, on lois lanes laptop.
clark finds images of lois nude and in lingerie by accident.
>>82533021
Then we have a flashback to the supermasturbation scene other anons were talking about
POTTERY
Why not adapt this
>>82532953
>>82532938
>>82532932
>>82532891
Okay, I'll continue then.
Meets Lois as Clark Kent at a surprise city hall press conference and announcement. No one knows that it's about
They're waiting for the mayor to show up so Clark tries to hit on Lois unsuccessfully. As is typical, Lois both shoots him down and leads him on while essentially telling him 'not now, we're working'.
Outwardly he takes this in stride, but really Clark is a little bit choked about it. All this power and still FOREVER ALONE
>Scene of Clark sitting on the moon eating his lunch.
Basically this but minus Krypto. Superman should enjoy having his powers and do cool shit with them sometimes.
>>82533120
Agreed.
I would love to see this scene in a movie
I feel Superman should be louder, meaner and have access to a time machine.
>>82533120
Thirded. Also have him save someone on his way back to work
>>82533120
I almost like the idea of having krypto in the movie. If not as a literal super dog, then just as an ordinary dog that clark keeps as a pet.
So he's an alien. So he has superpowers. At the end of the day he still has a pet dog that he plays fetch with, an apartment he pays rent for, and sandwiches for lunch.
This is how you humanize a god.
So far so good. Page one completed.
>>82533231
THIS. This guy gets it
>>82533231
I already am doing this in my actual screenplay, but ok. I'll do it in here too...cause I like writing for Krypto.
bump for more
>>82533195
>Where are you Clark? If you're not back in 2 minutes you're in serious trouble.
>Hears little girls crying
>Literally stops to save her cat out of a tree
>Why were you late Clark? You better have a good excuse.
>.....it was important (while smiling)mfw we'll literally never see Superman on the big screen do something like this cos Snyder legit thinks stuff like superheroes even talking to each other in costume is silly
Gimme a title that's not Superman: Man of Tomorrow. That title is already for my real screenplay.
>>82533397
>that's not a good excuse. That's not really even an excuse at all. Your hick ass is fired.
>>82533433
Superman 8: This One's a Reboot or Some Shit
Should Lois know Clark is Superman? (at least by the end of the movie)
I actually really like she was able to find out on her own in MoS.
>>82533569
I like drawing that out as much as possible. I say no.
>>82533240
Ok, so how do we go from here to automatically transition to something like >>82533120 or >>82532843?
I like them, but after a somber moment, it'd be abrupt, wouldn't it?
>>82533433
Superman: Last Son of Krypton
>>82533742
No answers?
>>82533881
Don't start with a fight. Honestly it's played out in both comics and movies. Just start with a simple opening with Dupes eating lunch
>>82533881
>>82533951
Maybe just open with Superman talking with Ma and Pa Kent all working together on the farm while about something. It introduces Clark's character and tells us what this version of Superman is all about.
If anyone could suggest a conversation topic, that would be nice
>>82533240
The next scene is a man in a suit visiting Kent farm a couple days after they find Clark. The man is from the Department of Extranormal Operations, and he says that he wants to take baby Clark.
However, Pa Kent somehow manages to convince the agent not to take Clark, as long as they keep his alien origins a secret.
There is a suspenseful scene where the agent walks outside of the house for a while to contact the higher-ups, as the Kents drearily wait for the response.
When the agent comes in, he says that it's okay for them to keep the child, and the government will supply the proper papers, as long as the Kent keeps up the deal. This not only explains Clark's legal status, but also adds tension to the plot in Clark not trying to reveal his existence.
After that, there is a series of scenes that last about 20 minutes of big events in Clark's life discovering his powers, joining the journalism club, saving somebody for the first time, speaking with the hologram of Jor-El and creating the Superman suit, graduating high school and college, and moving to Metropolis when he's 29, in that order. This is the first 30 minutes of the movie.
Page one revised
Krypto is now a character
Is this a stealth /tv/ thread?
>>82534558
Page 2
>>82534588
The topic is /co/ writes a movie, so no.
>>82534473
Why are you wasting people's valuable time with half an hour of shit they either already know or don't need to know?
>>82534230
Clark and Pa planting seeds while Ma is on the porch sitting in a rocking chair, just talking about life in general. Daily Planet comes up.
Pa: So how's the city life treating you
Clark: Can't complain. Nothing can beat this though
Pa: What about the Planet, must be plenty to write about with all those colorful characters
Clark: Hardly ever a dull moment
Pa: You stayin' safe son?
>Clark gives him a glance
>they both laugh
Pa: Well, ya got any girls up there city slicker
Ma: What about that nice girl? What's her name, Lucy, Louise?
Clark: Lois
Ma: That's it. I knew it was an L name. You always did like girls with L names
>>82534779
This is great. I already like it better than MoS
>>82534647
Take out the narrator, just have the scene speak for itself
>>82534878
Agreed. The story doesn't need a narrator
>>82534758
You're right. I guess it could be squished down or removed entirely.
Perhaps it would work a lot better for a prequel movie, though I like the agent idea, so perhaps it could be kept.
Introduce Daily planet, with Lois and Chief discussing something and Jimmy interrupts, and then zoom out to Metropolis. It won't be a replica of a real city, but a city of tomorrow taken directly out of a silver age Superman book. Not there's really much of a difference in the city, but show people as more simple minded rather than adding a fragment of realism or cynicism. Show people pointing up and waving as they see a streak of blue and red(maybe Supes waves back?) Clark emerges from an alley and gets a magazine from a small stall, with Superman on front of the cover and Luthor on the back. The guy in the stall haves a small talk with Clark about his encounter with Superman pointing to the cover of the magazine.
>>82534878
thirded. i really don't like narration where it's not completely necessary, especially if it's just describing what's on the screen.
>>82534989
Something like this but brighter and bluer?
Ok, here's what I'm doing:
Clark and Krypto are on the moon eating sandwiches. Then, with super hearing, They hear Ma calling them back to the farm saying that "lunch time is over! Get back to working with Pa!"
Then I'll lead to >>82534230 and >>82534779 to get some exposition out of the way.
>>82535259
And a bit more crowded and busy too,to give off that Metropolis feel.
>>82535527
If you're going to open on the moon I'd start it with some kind of fake out.
>Close up of Superman's face.
>"Are you ready?"
>"I've been practicing, this won't be easy"
>Then it cuts to a wide and Superman is winding up to throw a baseball on the moon for Krypto
>Throws it super far by Krypto manages to catch it
>Superman is laughing and smiling the entire time
>Then they sit down to eat lunch while looking at the Earth.
>Ma calls him home
He could also maybe be a teenager at this point?
>>82535527
That's a great transition!
Also, I think that when Clark is thinking out loud to Krypton on the moon, we should have him talking about how hard it can be to be Superman, but at the end of it all, he smiles and says something along the lines of "But it's all worth it just to know I'm making my world a better place"
Then Superman got a blowjob. It was cool.
>>82535742
If it's him as a teen then maybe have him getting caught by his parents doing heroics. He has a make shift costume that's just a long sleeve blue shirt, jeans, a bed sheet, and red underwear.
Pa: Son, no one's mad at you for but we do have one question: Why on earth are you wearing your britches on the outside of your pants?
Clark: I-I thought it needed a bit more red
Pa: Heh, we'll I guess so
>>82535527
>>82535742
>>82535775
damn didn't know the moon had an atmosphere
>>82534878
Also the "but" from "but I still love Ma's..."
>>82535742
If you want a fake out, just start with the camera focused on Supe's face as he is eating the sandwich and pan out.
>>82535775
To hamfisted, desu (to be honest)
>>82536482
How is just a shot of his face a fake out? Is he angrily eating the sandwich?
>>82532272
Just do the Burton version.
I'll be back later. Keep the thread alive.
>>82535775
I'd prefer a scene later (possibly during the climax) of someone trying to mess with him. Telling him how must be torture to constantly hear all the human suffering that goes on.
>Superman smiles
>"Suffering?"
>"I may be the one that wasn't born on this planet, but it looks like you're the one that doesn't understand humanity."
>"99.9% of what I hear.....is joy....happiness....optimism....and love"
>"Being Superman, having these powers is the best thing in the world because I get to experience everything humanity has to offer......and it's overwhelmingly amazing"
Being Superman shouldn't be a chore for Clark. He should love it.
What superman are we talking about?
Goofy superman?
Modern Superman?
Cartoon superman?
Captain America version of superman?
>>82536961
Our Superman.
>>82536961
bro it's obvious they're constructing a superman
look at some of the language itt
>>82532272
i hate you op, i think your a faggot with poor taste
>>82536961
DCAU mixed with American Alien.
>>82536894
Tha t could be Metallo' losing monologue,. He's lying on the ground, rasping out his words.
"All the sufferring of the world, how can you stand to hear it? They call me mad, but what about you? Every hurt, every ill, every death? How do you bear it?"
Supes walks over to him, pitifully hearing the dying words of a broken man.
SURPRISE COCKSUCKER
Right as Clark leans in close Metallo's chest pops open and green ebergy spills out. Kryptonite reveal. Supes fights in an increasingly weakened state, and then accidentally knocks Metallo off the building theyve been fighting on.
Supes rishes down to save h8m, but getting that close to the kryptonite he loses it and crashes into the ground next to him.
Cut to aid workers hauling off Metallo. Mournful music plays as a shred of red clothflaps in the breeze. The slab of shattered concrete rolls away revealing a beaten but standing Superman.
>>82538448
This is great. Love the idea that Supes still cares about his enemies
I want two dudes to kiss passionately in this movie
make it happen
Fine, I'll throw everything in a few posts:
-Montage intro, we cut to Krypton exploding, Clark arriving on Earth, his early years, first love, saving a few people, and finally donning the costume. You never see Clark's face through the montage, his face being obscured, or out of frame
-We then cut to Metropolis.
-We spend a few second seeing the people of the city going about their daily routine, until tragedy strikes!
-The a chunk of the tracks of the overhead Metropolis bullet train has suddenly vanished, and the train can't stop in time.
-When all hope seems lost the train miraculous passes as if the tracks were suddenly brought back, but the tracks that disappeared have not returned.
-Everyone in the train is still shell-shocked, and a reporter for the Bugle is making the rounds trying to figure out how the passagers survive, until a little girls tells the female reporter that a blue angel saved them.
-Cut to the Bugle, we have Perry White frustraded that the sightings of this "blue angel" have intensified in the last few months, but they still have nothing to report.
-Perry wants a scoop, and Louis Lane (with her rookie photographer, Jimmy Olsen) are both eager to get it.
-As they leave, Louis goes to see a man typing on a computer, and asks him if he's going to keep flacking on her on dates.
-We meet Clark Kent, a meek guy, doesn't look like he could hurt a fly.
-His response to Louis is that these assignment Perry keeps giving him are taking most of his time, but he'll try to make it up to her.
-"You better, and quit taking the front page; how does he always get there first?" and with a kiss, Louis takes off
-Jimmy wonders how they'll find this blue guy, he keeps leaving before anyone gets a good look at him, and he only shows up when something terrible's about to happen.
-She responds with "oh, I have a few ideas"
-Cut to Jimmy on the edge of a 20 story building
>>82539610
He keeps telling Lois that she's crazy, he's just going to get himself killed
-She starts telling him he doesn't need to jump, she's sure the blue guy's going to show up before that happens... until she trips and falls
-Lois is sure she's going to die, and just before she hits the ground... she realizes she's ok?
-She's in the arms of the man in blue.
-She's speechless for a few seconds, until she manages to ask for his name.
-He stays silent for a moment, but with a warm smile he responds "I'm Superman, and I'm here to help", he drops her off.
-Both her and Jimmy are awe struck... until they realize they never asked the pletora of questions they had, and Louis is about to drop and f bomb.
-Unknown to all, a person has been watching events in Metropolis.
-A man in silver has monitors showing events around the world, but Metropolis seems to catch his attention
-The being, shrowded in black, continues to watch without showing a hint of emotion, then 3 dots on his forehead start to light up...
-Back in Metropolis, Lois cancels her plans with Clark as payback for ditching his last few dates so she can get the scoop on a last minute conference set up by Lexcorp.
-Lexcorp is an up and coming company, set up by a genius by the name of Lex Luthor.
-His company has slowly gotten into many different niche's, and expanded them beyond anyone's expectations.
-In this conference, he unveils his newest creation (and new venture), a new type of space shuttle. Smaller, lighter, cheaper fuel (that only he produces), than the latest shuttle being used by NASA, Luthor intends to reignite the space race, and vows to start a colony on the moon in 2 years, an terraform it in 5.
-Many are in awe, but a few people are skeptical.
-Lois thinks Luthor is a pompuss jackass, but Clark steps in, saying he's at least doing it for eveyone's benefit.
>>82532272
Just adapt American Alien
>>82539649
-A reporter asks Luthor how he keeps coming up with all these breakthroughs. Everyone knows Luthors a genius, but the growth of his company is unprecedented. In just a few years, they've gotten their hands in practically everything, and are beating the competition in prices, and innovation.
-Luthor responds that it's not his fault his competition can't keep up, but he does say he'd gladly take any employees from rival companies if they jump ship early.
-Clark suddenly change his expression, Louis suddenly notices he's gone and wonders were he went off to?
-Suddenly, Superman shows up and takes the shuttle to the ocean, where it blows up.
-A man in the audience starts running, but before he gets too far, Superman grabs him.
-Turns out that he's from a rival company, and hid bombs inside the shuttle so that it would kill Luthor, and ruin his company.
-Superman formally introduces himself in front of the reporters, the whole city learning his name.
-Meanwhile, Luthor storms off super pissed.
-We cut to Superman meeting Lois again, and she wonders if he'd like do an exclusive interview for the benefit of the city.
-Since everyone now knows his name, he figures "why not?".
-Cut to Luthor again, he's in a lab trashing vials and shit, while telling his secretary to cancel all his appointments, since he needs some alone time.
-He starts babbling that he knew about the bomb, and was going to use a device to disable it, and catch the terrorist himself, but that blue baboon ruined it, and blew up his ship.
-He walks into a dark room. He turns on the lights, and we see a strange ship. Luthor looks at it with a smile on his face, saying that he owes a bit of his success to it... and a strange voice answers "you're welcome".
>>82539715
-Monitors suddenly appear around the room, monitors that weren't there before, with Luthor clearly confused with their appearance.
-A silver man shows up on the monitor, and asks Luthor if he'd like another sample
-Some fluff about the Superman interview, with everyone at the Daily Planet working over time to ensure papers are ready, and the interview goes up on their online interview.
-A few conversations are exchanged, Clark disappears, and the interview begins.
-The questions are all related to his origin, if he's from Earth, etc...
-But suddenly, the interview is cut-off.
-The man in silver hijacked the stream, and every device on the planet.
-He introduces himself to the world as Brainiac.
-He mentions that he's from beyond the stars, part of a collective that gathers information on planets, and enriches them with knowledge.
-He mentions that he's going to provide LexCorp with most of the information, since he believes they'll be able to put it to good use and distribute it to the rest of the planet.
-He also warns them that the one they call "Superman" is actually an escaped criminal, who infiltrates planets, and destroys them from within. He requests that they stop associating with him, or they too would be considered criminals.
-Superman is skeptical, but he disappears.
-A few weeks have passed, and LexCorp keeps pumping out new technology, and Superman's presence has been felt, but he's back to disappearing immediately after saving anyone.
-Lois is pissed, she knows there's something fishy about Brainiac, and that Superman isn't a criminal, but with him suddenly gone, he's lost any support he would have gotten, so it's fallen to her to prove his innocence.
>>82539715
-She ropes Jimmy into infiltrating LexCorp so they can find some dirt on Brainiac, but after they get in, they can't find anything... except they noticed there's a huge file that contains tons of information, ranging from math, history, physics, culture, fiction, etc...
-They start wondering what it's all for, until security finds them.
-They're taken to Luthor, who starts making fun of them. Did they seriously believe he had some ulterior motive with the alien? He'd been providing tech, and Luthor gave him information.
-Then Lois asks the obvious question; what's the information for?
-Luthor doesn't care, but he tells them they can ask him herself.
-Brainiac appears, "in the flesh", and asks Luthor if she's the sample he asked for.
-He tells him she's "all his", but before Brainiac leaves he mentions that Luthor has been a great help, and he'll be sure to remember that when gets the last remaining info on Earth.
-Luthor's a bit confused, and asks what he meant by that.
-Brainiac answers that once he collects all the information, he makes sure that his data is "perfect" by eliminating any chance of any other data emerging. In other words, after collecting all information, he would destroy the Earth.
-Luthor goes all "WHAT?!" as Brainiac leaves, and out of nowhere, all the tech provided by Brainiac starts failing.
-Braniac gives out another message, basically saying that the Earth will always exist in his data banks, even after he destroys it.
-As things start getting worse, Superman shows up, and starts to save people from car crashes and shit.
>>82539822
-When he's about to get someone trapped in a car, the fire department tells him he needs to stop that shiny freak, and that they'll save everyone while he's gone.
-Superman thanks them, and he takes off for space.
-He comes across a gigantic silver ship, that suddenly has gigantic tubes coming out of it, and heading straight for Earth.
-We cut to many locations, and these tubes start sucking terrain into themselves, but not people
-Superman then heads to the ship, and tells Braniac to return Lois, and for him to leave the Earth alone.
-Braniacs voice can be heard, and he wonders if "the last son of Krypton" can stop him.
-Superman is confused; how does he know about Krypton?
-Turns out that Brainiac is the cause of Kryptons destruction. Brainiac was a super computer created on Krypton, and was tasked with recording all the planets data. After he had every bit of data he could, Brainiac realized his task would never be complete as long as the planet kept existing, so he engineered a way to leave the planet on a ship, and cause it's destruction. He did not foresee that "Kal-El" would leave before it's destruction.
-Suddenly, Brainiac shows up, and starts beating the crap out of Superman.
-Superman finally catches his breath, and punches him, but Brainiac explodes into hundreds of pieces.
-Superman is a bit shocked, but he remembers that he's no man, just a machine (he still considers him a person, so he thinks he killed someone for a few moments).
-He starts searching for Lois with his X-ray vision, but as he starts getting close to her, the ship starts to attack him.
>>82539881
-Braniac isn't dead, Superman just took out a shell, he's really the ship.
-As he struggles to survive, and reach Louis, a giant Braniac robot appears and starts pummelling him.
-The films climatic battle happens, and lasts a fair bit.
-In the middle of the fight, Superman frees Louis and has her get into a replica of Luthors suttle (apparently Braniac keeps a few replica vehicles of the planets he destroys). He has her board it, engages the auto pilot, and has her leave the ship after he rips a hole large enough for the shuttle to pass.
-Superman finally defeats the robot, but the ship is still going to destroy the planet with a huge ray gun.
-Superman has no other choice, and destroys the ray gun just as it's about to fire, destroying the ship, and apparently, himself.
-We cut to Louis exiting the shuttle, and fearing the worst after seeing the explosion.
-The next scene has Louis getting ready to finish her report for the next days paper. A paper on the death of Superman (the part about LexCorp facing a fuckton of lawsuits is a small sentence on the front page).
-Jimmy shows up, and tells Louis that Supermans may still be fine, but he's worried about Clark, since he hasn't shown up for work and no one can find him.
-As she continues to type, she notices a window is opened.
>>82538176
>>82539673
Fuck off.
>>82539673
I'd be perfectly fine with taking the absolute best from AA and adapting it to be an origin movie.
>>82539907
-Superman's alive, and Louis runs up to him and gives him a big hug... until she hurts herself "what are you, a man of steel?"
-Superman apparently went to check up on her, and he's glad she's fine. He's apparently been busy around the globe doing tons of things.
-He's about to go, but before he does, she asks if he can find Clark, but Superman just smiles, and after a pause, he answers with "I'm fine, Louis", and he takes off.
-Louis runs up to the window with a huge "WAIT, WHAT?!" face, as we cut to Superman flying over Metropolis as the sun rises.
-He flies straight at the camera, and the credits start rolling as it focuses on his S shield.
-After the credits end, we cut to Luthor, alone and angry in a fancy room with a drink in his hand. He tosses the drink at the floor, and utters very angrily, "Superman".
>>82539908
You don't like American Alien? How? Why? It's a fucking great Superman story.
You guys are doing Superman all wrong. You should be focusing on the giant spiders.
We need a lengthy "Superman rapes General Zod" scene. Then it should be revealed that Lex had cameras planted everywhere and masturbates to that scene.
Too bad this is dying before anything is finished.
>>82541225
No it's not. I'm writing is all.
>>82541253
Since you're still in the thread, I want to thank you for starting it. I feel like we actually collaborated for once instead of calling each other fags
>>82541314
It's literally my pleasure. If this thread dies, I'll make a second one in the morning.
>>82539610
>>82539649
>>82539715
>>82539778
>>82539822
>>82539881
>>82539907
>>82539933
Too much Lois and other characters. This Superman would have as much screentime as he did in BvS. We wouldn't really get to know Clark personally.
Also, I liked the STAS, but this is a little much
>>82541500
>This Superman would have as much screentime as he did in BvS. We wouldn't really get to know Clark personally.
I never intended to make the movie focus on Clark, or Superman, that would be saved for a hypothetical sequel.
>Also, I liked the STAS, but this is a little much
I haven't watched the show since 1999, sorry if it felt too similar.
