Neil Struckmann rewrote a the fight in BvS to 'give it more depth and motivation'. It's hilarious.
https://twitter.com/Chris_Stuckmann/status/721417846610198528?s=09
>Superman ignoring the fact that he could have lead Zod of the city since he only wanted to kill him at that point
Is this a parody or is he being serious?
Hi Plebbit.
>>81907081
>Rain assaults the ground
Goyer's draft is garbage but stuff like this makes me feel like Terrio tried to pull it out of the fire as hard as he could
The best page
>>81907671
Tell that to zods snapped neck
>>81907671
How does Batman know that Superman snapped Zod's neck?
>>81907671
>the world's greatest detective
>Tell that to Zod's snapped neck
BvS is still trash but this is a riot
>>81907671
>tell that to Zod's snapped neck
dying
>>81907671
This is how memes are born.
So this is a joke, right?
>>81907671
>tell that to Zod's snapped neck
Jesus fucking christ I'm in tears. I wish this was in the movie.
I actually like Stuckmann's stuff, he seems like a genuinely great person. But he fucked up big with this one. He shouldn't have gone the "I can do it better than the writers" route if he was going to do it worse.
>>81908135
The sad part? It only took him 20 mins to write the fight scene
>>81907671
> tell that to Zod
That's all the line needed to be
>r/mcu is mad again
Why?
>>81907081
>>81907671
Up until that zinger this sounded okay.
But we're going to focus on that single line while defending "MARTHA" like it's deeper than the Mariana trench
>>81909503
>1.jpg
haven't give up, have we?
That pre-fight exchange was shit, but I like the way he re-wrote Batman's change of heart was such an improvement
>>81907671
>>81907942
Even in a fucking fan-made script, DC movies can't help but be meme generators.
>>81907671
But Zod literally was not a father or a son or a brother. Literally.
>>81909194
You know that ain't true. I bet he spent at least days working on it.
>>81907520
This wasnt written by Goyer. The youtube reviewer said he could come out with a better script for BvS in 20 minutes and then 16 hours later he shat out this piece of drivel
>>81909785
It's literally exactly the same except he didn't say "Martha" because that's what he heard everyone complaining about.
And he actually brags about how good his rewrite is in a later tweet. This is what a reviewer thinks is good writing.
>>81912902
I don't understand why ppl gate that part. It makes sense in the context of the movie.
>>81906950
>>81907081
>>81907671
This is why arm chair Youtube critics are autistic. BvS was shit goddamn, but Chris just went full dumbass.
>>81912902
>>81913514
He even said that he liked the use of the Martha thing in his review with the FlickPick. He only thing that could debatably be considered an improvement wasn't even his idea, he did it just to please the crowd.
>>81913702
Pleasing the crowd is all Stuckmann ever does. Has he ever gone to bat for a film that was Rotten on the Tomatometer? He just gauges the general consensus and then parrots it back to the public who love him for it.
>>81913890
He defended The Lost Worldan opinion I also agree with, it's not close to JP but still a good movie
>>81913890
He gave Man of steel a pretty solid grade, and that movie is rotten in the tomatometer. Plus he has given pretty solid grades to many Shyamalan movies disliked by the public.
>>81909503
>1.jpg
>>81913702
If he agreed then why leave it out. A lot of ppl don't understand that scene,probably because it wasn't a handwaved explanation but he could have made clearly explain it.
It's a good scene and draws light to what was wrong with Bruce's blind hate.
>>81907671
So they're supposed to be fighting during all this?... I mean that shit works in comics because they're still images with speech bubbles slapped on, but in a movie they'd have to stop the fighting to say all of this shit.
>>81912716
>The youtube reviewer said he could come out with a better script for BvS in 20 minutes and then 16 hours later he shat out this piece of drivel
Haha oh wow. OK, knowing that make this pretty pathetic.
The issues with BvS can't be fixed by making a handful of scenes have smarmy dialogue, especially since the biggest issues aren't the dialogue. Character motivations, pacing, editing, being jam packed with unnecessary cameos, and the complete fucking disregard for treating any of Superman or his supporting cast with an ounce of respect.
Half the problems are mostly unrelated with the script and the other half run way to deep that just half-assedly changing some of the dialogue around here and there isn't going to do much of anything.
This is amazing
>>81907081
That last line is so bad I wanted to put it in more lines from the actual movie, but then I went and looked and arguably they're worse.
>>81913554
What else can you expect from the guy who fellates a shitfest like Babadook at every opportunity, though?
Dialogue in a script usually sounds much cheesier than it does spoken aloud.
>>81913514
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDmIRY3Zveo
Replace "yellow" and "pink" with Martha
So he came back online and is trying to play it off.
https://twitter.com/Chris_Stuckmann/status/721554261344169984
https://twitter.com/Chris_Stuckmann/status/721555384624934912
>>81914311
People tend to forget this fact. You can't have running internal monologues to explore characterization over everything in a movie like you can do in a comic, and if you vocalize all of that instead then you end up with Lucas' hilarious long back-and-forth conversations
>>81914467
>Character motivations, pacing, editing, being jam packed with unnecessary cameos, and the complete fucking disregard for treating any of Superman or his supporting cast with an ounce of respect.
I think the character motivations were reasonable understandable in the movie, I don't get where people missed shit like Luthor or Batman's characterizations in this movie.
>pacing, editing, being jam packed with unnecessary cameos
I will agree that's a huge problem
>complete fucking disregard for treating any of Superman or his supporting cast with an ounce of respect
Yeah, Supes is the weak link in this movie, even though he's supposed to be a main focus character just as much as Batman, he's more of a setpiece and the characters that get the most exploration are Bats and Luthor's conflict and has them as foils to each other. However, with his supporting cast? Yeah no, Lois and Perry were fucking great and I wanted more Daily Planet scenes.
>but they shot Jimmy in the face abloobloobloo
Yeah I don't really give a shit, to be honest. Movie isn't changed by that detail at all and if Snyder wants to piss off everyone by making that clarification just to say that Jimmy is in the movie and piss everyone off, then that's his problem.
>>81914973
Tell that to Zod's snapped neck
>>81914973
>it's zod's snapped neck all the way down
>>81915055
>Yeah I don't really give a shit, to be honest. Movie isn't changed by that detail at all and if Snyder wants to piss off everyone by making that clarification just to say that Jimmy is in the movie and piss everyone off, then that's his problem.
The movie is changed by this detail in that the VERY FIRST SCENE is effectively Superman failing to same Jimmy and a bunch of randoms.
>>81914825
If that's you're interpretation of that scene then I honestly don't know what to say.
Because its basically the,point Bruce saw Superman as a person.
Its so simple.
>>81915071
God, that's just as bad as Harry Osborn's "Tell that to my father. Resurrect him from the dead" said all pouty. When will people stop telling people to tell stuff to things that are dead?
>>81915154
I'm dying holy hell
>>81915154
Fucking memesters you have to ruin everything.
>>81915165
Just before it happened he said "You were never a god, you were never even a man!" Not that hard to figure out.
>>81915154
My favourite:
>If you seek his monument, tell that to Zod's snapped neck.
>>81915234
Then you probably don't want to see the wiki page
>>81915182
Well there's something that the dead are keeping back.
>>81915304
Link me nigga
http://badwebcomicswiki.shoutwiki.com/wiki/Kit_n'_Kay_Boodle
>>81915301
This feedback is freaking glorious
You're not brave. Zod's snapped neck was brave.
>>81915343
It's pretty simple, but we can always make it greater https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tell_that_to_Zod%27s_neck
>CLARK: This is my world. You are my world.
>LOIS: Tell that to Zod's snapped neck.
>LOIS takes the spear and stabs Superman with it. She glances upwards to see BATMAN giving her a thumbs up.
>>81915427
You literally just made that you faggot ass bitch fuck you fuck you
>>81915438
>She glances upwards to see BATMAN making a neck snapping gesture.
>>81915509
I didn't, it got linked to me by a friend along with the script he wrote.
Tumblr and twitter have basically made into a meme at this point.
>>81907671
>Tell that to Zod's snapped neck
CHRIS STUCKMANN HAS AUTISM
STOP BULLING HIM
>>81915746
TELL THAT TO ZOD'S SNAPPED NECK.
>>81907671
What fucking gets me is the "Silence." Why do white people think that everything needs to be dramatic instead of organic?
>>81915782
I know right
Sheesh, if you want to rewrite parts of BvS to make it better it's not that complicated. I would actually keep the Batman versus Superman fight pretty much as is. Maybe have a line at the start with Superman trying to tell Batman that Luthor set him up and Batman shoots him down making clear that the fight is personal for him, but that's it.
Other than that, changes that should be made
>do more with Wondy and Bruce infiltrating Luthor's plans. Have them improvise a heist together while playing off the fact that neither of them really trust the other and both of them are after different things (Bruce wanting the Kryptonite and Wondy wanting to destroy information relating to her history)
>Have this lead into WONDY sending the info on Flash, Cyborg and Aquaman to Bruce. Save the Cyborg and Aquaman clips for DVD extras, Bruce recieves the information from being decrypted immediately after the Knightmare sequence and Flash's warning and sees the clip showing the Flash instead as he is in the present. He puts two and two together
>Speaking of the Knightmare sequence, add a brief bit in the beginning that shows him falling asleep, then being awakened by the Justifiers crashing into the Batcave. As Bruce flees to the exit, he grabs his Batsuit then we transition to the beginning of the theatrical version where he steps out into the wasteland with the Omega symbol.
>also add in a scene where Supes says a few brief words on his behalf before the Capitol gets exploded to help explain himself both to the world and to the audience. The rest of the world obviously won't take him at face value until he sacrifices himself against Doomsday, but it'll help the audience get where he's coming from better.
I'm not going to pretend I'm a good enough writer to hash out the exact lines of some of those parts though.
>>81915890
Instead of like 40 different dream sequences just have the one Knightmare sequence as a recurring dream where both Supes and Bats share premonition of a darker future scaring them both.
>>81907671
>You've crossed the line... And I can't accept that.
>>81907081
hohohohoho...a bigger disaster than Space Cop.
>>81915890
cont.
So then we have roughly the same movie except now
>Supes has more direct agency rather than being passive and silent for the ENTIRE movie
>Wondy has a more direct connection to the main events of the movie and the conflict between Batman, Superman and Luthor rather than just showing up for the fight at the end and looking pretty in a dress
>Knightmare sequence and Justice League previews are better contextualized and contribute to Batman's overall growth from his personal crusade to recognizing a larger universe that he has to reframe his world view to account for
(You'll notice Luthor goes through the same process as he has access to the Kryptonian archives, but whereas Batman comes out of his experience changed for the better, Luthor can't reconcile his worldview with the existence of Apokalips and Darkseid and gets hit HARD by Anti-Life when he digs too deep into it)
The dialogue's not the problem in this movie. Lack of context is.
>>81915957
Yeah one thing I forgot to mention is that I would've cut the bat demon nightmare and the opening flashback nightmare into the same sequence that wakes up Bruce when he has the one-night stand with the faceless woman.
Makes it clear that the nightmares have been an ongoing problem for him, maybe have Alfred comment on him not sleeping well when he comes in to confer on searching for the "White Russian" afterwards.
>>81915890
>>81916097
Both of these require a considerably longer runtime, thought.
>>81907081
>>81907671
>Chris
You don fucked up
>>81913554
>Screen Junkies is cancer
>>81907671
tell that to kanjiklub's snapped necks
>>81916197
Yeah, biggest time sink would be expanding Wondy's role. That might be a little too much to ask for, but I would still make it so that she's the one who gets the information related to the other "meta" projects Luthor is investigating (maybe she copies them off the data Bruce steals and then wipes it behind her as the folder also contains the information on her own actions) and then sends the rest to Bruce for him to see himself.
I like the idea of Wondy being a sort of gatekeeper into the larger setting of the DCU for Batman, as they're the ones left at the end to go put the League together so it isn't as crucial for Superman to have a direct connection to her at this point in time.
>>81915438
>>81915513
>She glances upwards to see WONDER WOMAN snapping BATMAN's neck.
>>81915438
>>81916517
>She glances upwards to see DOOMSDAY cupping his hand to his ear, then exposing his neck.
>>81916197
Wasn't the movie originally going to be like three hours long and then WB put their foot down and forced cuts that weren't intended? Or were those just rumors.
>>81916517
If the WW movie doesn't feature at least one snapped neck we're entitled to a refund from the box office, right
>>81907671
>All this dialogue
Does this guy not understand subtlety?
>>81916650
There's going to be a 3 hour long R-rated cut. Barbara Gordon is part of those 30 extra minutes of cut content, including 2 more dream sequences.
>>81916650
The rough cut is four hours and the director cut is going to be 3.
>>81915154
>Has the 'a' in "snapped"
>Doesn't have the 'a' in "that"
Anon what the fuck
>>81916803
>Barbara Gordon is part of those 30 extra minutes of cut content
BROOF ITF ME, BARBRUH
>>81909571
Tell that to Zod's snapped neck.
>>81916650
It was going to be 4 hours long. Even the director's cut has been reduced. We literally saw little more than half a movie.
>>81917742
The 4 hour one was the assembly cut, every movie has one and they're not meant to be shown.
>>81917787
Alright, thanks for the context
>>81914973
>that backpedaling
I-It was just a joke guys....I swear.
>>81914973
>I was only pretending to be retarded
