You see this when you walk into your room. What do you do?
It's okay, he's not here threaten you.
>>80657630
Drop trou, start whacking it.
>>80657630
Out of curiosity ask what I did
Help him find his horn
Shoot him in the head, or hips, or really anywhere that's not the bulletproof vest-shaped area on his chest.
>>80657630
Ask him, really loudly:
>DO YOU SUCK DICKS?!
Pour him a glass of booze and attempt to shoot the shit with him. At some point slip in how much I love my mother and how I think people don't respect their mom's well enough these days.
>>80657630
Watch internet cat videos with him.
>>80657630
>You're gonna be in a world of shit
>>80657630
Run the fuck out
Embarrass him in front of Vanessa.
>>80657630
Give him this and tell him that it is my magnum opus.
>>80657947
The other week I had a nightmare that I worked for MCU Kingpin.
Wesley had died, and I was hired to replace him. I don't know about you guys, but I've worked a number of jobs where I was an assistant or office monkey and I constantly felt on edge because I was working for an asshole I couldn't please.
This was like that turned up to a thousand. I think, in the logic of the dream, I had sort of bluffed my way into the job, and couldn't do all the shit Wesley used to do and didn't really know this was a criminal organization going in. So it was a non stop parade of running errand for Kingpin. Bribe this guy. Pay to have this guy killed. Pick up his drycleaning. Arrange a ride for Vanessa when she arrived at the airport.
I kept fucking everything up, either arriving too late or forgetting a key detail, and every time Kingpin was furious and clearly ready to kill me. But I hadn't fucked up QUITE that bad yet.
But I did by the end. I don't remember what my final fuckup was, I just remember the nightmare ended with me in Fisk's office, he's icily furious, and I realize this is it, he's going to murder me. I think I asked for one last request, that he not also track down and kill my family.
Then I woke up.
>>80657630
Challenge him to a 1v1 game of basketball
Winner gets Hell's Kitchen
>>80657630
ask him if I-I emb-b-barassed him in front of herrRRRRR!
>>80657970
>I know shit about art
The thing about that painting was the strokes on the white, not specifically because it was all white
>>80658073
>Mocking him
The balls in this guy
>>80657630
Bend over dat fat ass and go to anal town on him.
YOUR ASS IS MINE, FATTY.
>>80657630
Roast him Sgt Hartman style. Then get choked out.
Ask to see his war face.
>>80657734
Oh that's a relief.
Step on a cockroach.
>>80658189
Oh your poor wife.
What I'm thinking
>Fisk probably frisked my fridge
What I'll say
>I wish Spider Man was here with his 101 Kingpin jokes
Take off my pants and underwear then turn around and run away while shitting. Nobody is going to chase a shitting man
>>80659706
Dammit, there's enough room for a threesome. Don't you deny me this!
>>80657630
Ask him why isn't he wearing his horn.
>>80657630
Yell that Karen Paige killed Wesley and run away.
>>80657630
Ask him if he got lost on his way to SeaWorld.
At least I didn't walk into this guy
>>80660801
Batman would at least let you live. Plus he wouldn't drag it out.
>>80660827
>crippled forever
>constant agony
>want you to kill yourself but can't
>ask for euthanasia
>Batman shows up and beats up the doctors because killing is wrong
>cry
>>80660801
I would much rather run into Batman than MCU Fisk. Did you see that nigga beat that Russian? Shit was like a lion circling its prey.
Take off the Daredevil hat I just bought. I don't think he'd be too fond of it.
>>80660879
>treatment to extend your life is payed by Wayne Corporation.
>>80660801
Is that an official Al Batfleck photo? Looks pretty spoopy.
>>80657787
>>80660633
What joke am I missing?
>>80661229
I wanna know this as well.
Tell him that I liked him on Law and Order.
>>80657630
"You the dude from Craigslist?"
>>80657630
Tell him I liked him better when he was black.
>>80661901
yep, this is an actual photo of Batfleck
Ask him to kill me in the Rhino outfit.
Also say:
>It's just a bad dream fatboy
>>80661725
Kingpin is Rhino
Try to determine whether it's Wilson Fisk or his identical twin Aleksei.
>>80657630
Ignore him, get naked and go to bed.
>>80659194
He's here to kill you.
>>80657786
You bumped into Vanessa at a party, and didn't say excuse me.
>>80657947
Oh shit nigger, what are you doing?
I love how Vincent D'Onofrio plays such terrifying characters and looks intimidating as fuck, but IRL he's this really chill and super nice guy. He's the type of actor I want to grow up to be if I ever make it big somehow.
Case in point: https://youtu.be/uf98RFxASps
Notice how he doesn't even flinch.
>>80658056
Jesus, man...
>>80657630
Id throw a bunch of klonopin and ativan into his mouth.
>>80658158
Nigga please it looked like stucko construction piece in a frame
>>80657630
Piss bricks.
>>80657630
take dick out and masturbate. might trigger his autism enough to temporarily disable him and escape.
>>80666039
... ah spit
