Could Jesus beat up Superman?
My friend seems to think so.
Jesus would never resort to violence unless of course Superman was making his house a den of robbers.
>>79685704
Jesus was a carpenter.
Superman is a space alium.
Your friend is a silly billy.
Peas and rice.
>>79685704
He could definitely convince Superman to become a believer though.
>>79685877
But Superman already believes in himlike he believes in all of us
>>79685833
jesus was a dragonslayer yo
>>79685926
God doesn't talk to us because we started dating a Brown girl.
>>79685704
Jesus is magic I aint gotta explain shit, he could kill Superman by twirling his fingers in the air.
>>79685877
Superman's already Methodist.or at least MUH Superman is
>>79686099
Could Dr. Strange defeat Jeus
Jesus is a passive hero and has a shit powerset, while Superman's is mostly aggressive, and he has to hold back a lot.
>>79686099
So what you're saying is that The Flash can beat him.
>>79686137
Of course not Jesus would just call his dad to make Strange never exist.
>>79685704
Judging by this picture, I think he stands a fair chance.
>>79686169
but I'm pretty sure Dr. Strange has countermeasures in place for that kind of magics
>>79685704
Who is your friend?
>>79685833
>Jesus was a carpenter.
So, Jesus could beat Alan Scott Green Lantern pretty easily, though...
>>79685704
Whoever wins we lose
>>79686211
Considering his power comes from the Green now and he's a homo he could probably whoop jesus' ass
>>79685704Aren't they one and the same?
>>79685704
Superman could take the entire Roman empire and we all know how Jesus fared against a few of them.
>>79685704
It's time for you to understand Jesus Christ the Original Superman
He'll be your hero in the end. He is that one true superfriend
Kryptonite can't slow him down nothin' can at all>Christian rock
>>79686562
Only because he is a pacifist though. He literally has the power of God on his side, the roman empire wouldn't stand a chance against a blood lusted Jesus.
>>79686593
What if you crucify him on magic wood with kryptonite nails?
>>79686144
>Omnipotent,
>Shit powerset
Wut
>>79686183
Is Jesus supposed to be hot?
Because he's pretty hot here.
>>79685704
No. Because Jesus is dead.
>>79685704
They would both win at being best pals
>jesus came back from the dead
Just like all comic book characters. Weak.
>walks on water
Not very useful. Can he breath underwater? Can he talk to fish? Sub aqua lad powers, no pun intended
>can make bread and wine
Interesting but useless in a fight
>limited healing and resurrection powers
Jesus is a support character at best.
Pre-resurrection Jesus or post-resurrection Jesus?
THIS THREAD IS
CANCER
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Could they take on the Justice League?
Super best friends vs JL.
Who would win?
>>79686778
yea for real bc jesus wasnt omniscient till his resurrection so i think afterwards he could take supes but before the resurrection supes would stomp his ass
>>79686099
Yeah but he totally wouldn't.
He would be all Luke 23 and get clobbered then come back later and say something pithy about the greatness of the Father.
>>79686778
new 52 Jesus
he's been de-powered
>reading Abrahamic robeshit
Yeah, Superman is weak to magic
>>79687049
>now he's just a carpenter with a whore mom
>>79686183
"Don't cross me, alien!"
>>79686200
Not against Eternitiy or the One Above All.
Marvel God is presumed to be along those lines or higher.
>>79686632
Is this by Felix Colgrave?
>Implying he wouldn't just lecture Superman about how he should solve less of his problems with violence
>>79686746
>Leaving out the ability to curse a fig tree.
>>79686713
the bible literally says he was in no way attractive to anyone at all.
"For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him."
Isaiah 53:2
Jesus is weaksauce
was killed by a couple of regular guys with spears and a sword
no way he could handle Superman
>>79687260
Don't talk shit about Longinus you fucking profligate.
>>79686803
We win
>>79687317
And like clockwork, in come the romefags.
>>79685704
Yes.
Turns Supes blood into wine instantly killing him.
If supes even kills Jesus he will just revive later
>>79687457
>If supes even kills Jesus he will just revive later
Superman always comes back also
>>79686144
>passive
Did you forget the part of the Bible where he runs around a temple whipping people?
>ITT : cancer
MODS BAN THIS SHIT THIS IS NOT CO RELATED
WE HAVE ENOUGHT SHITPOSTS ALREADY
>>>/reddit/
>>79687567
superman is /co/
>>79687512
Guess they will just fight forever then
>Nobody even considers Revelations Jesus.
Sacrilege!
>>79685973
Underrated post of 2016
>>79685704
Superman would immediately lose the desire to fight.
Too this is basically like asking if Dr. Manhattan could beat up superman. Same thing; it just wouldn't happen. He'd never need to.
These people are beyond physical force.
>>79685704
what if G*D enters the mix and Jesus and Superman team up?
>>79685704
Does Jesus have his whip and has Superman been selling goods in the holy temple?
>>79687641
too op
>>79687691
Jesus literally is God, so I don't see that working out.
>>79687567
Jesus is just an older superhero.
I don't like what's being said about MY GOD
I think you need to go. SO why don't you just get the hell out
>>79687691
>G*D
Jews leave.
>>79687721
Jesus is God's son I thought
>>79687806
The more you know.
>>79687806
The trinity my nigga
>>79687806
having read the bible its like in the matrix where new is just mr anderson until he dies and then upon resurrection he realizes he is the one. when jesus comes back he comes back as god and the holy spirit and christ. the trinity.
>>79687806
God has multiple "aspects", being God the Father, God the Son, and (in most canon) God the Holy Spirit. They're all still God, but different parts of the same deity. Jesus was God the Son in the body of a man, but after resurrection he returned to the Godhead.
>>79687806
He doesn't grasp the canon of the Holy Trinity.
>>79687854
>trinity
>the matrix
>>79687388
carthago delenda est
>>79687851
>>79687837
>God doesn't follow the transitive property
What a prick.
>>79687567
>Non-/co/ related threads are slowly driving anon crazy
>one of these days he will break
>soon enough the world will have a real life Joker
He did it again you guys.
Could Jesus take a prepared Batman?
>>79687806
>all trinity doctrine isn't absolute heresy
>>79687999
Jesus would just resurrect the Waynes, and give Batman no further reason to be Batman anymore
>>79688036
>Watching some Buddha vs Jesus video when I was a stupid teenager
>Jesus resurrected his dead friend
>Buddha refused and taught a lesson about how everyone dies instead
>The guy that made the video decided Buddha's actions were better
Pretty dumb tbqh
>>79688028
Lutherans believe in the Trinity, you ingrate.
>>79688111
Honestly Buddhism at its base (not necessarily all current branches of it, of course) is a religion that teaches you to be a dick. Becoming so detached from the world that you no longer care about anything. It's always strange to me that westerners adopted it as some sort of hippy "love everybody and stop fighting" religion when in reality that Christianity more than anything else.
>>79685833
jesus was also an ayylmao checkmate
>>79687837
>>79687851
Jesus is A god, not THE god. The trinity doctrine is garbage perpetuated by heretics.
Why would they fight?
>>79687567
How is this not /co/ related? They are both DC comics characters
>>79688028
Wat. Martin Luther and his contemporaries (Protestant and Catholics) believed in the Holy Trinity. I'm not sure what you're smoking, anon.
>>79689791
Who gets to pay the bill after hanging out.
>>79689703
>thousands of years of church studies, philosophy and doctrine are heresy
>>79689703
>a god
heretic detected
>>79685973
Kek
Jesus was a total puss.
1.Jesus could hardly even carry a 100lb cross.
2.Spears and thorns punctured him.
3. Here couldn't fly but supposedly walked on water.
4. Took THREE FUCKING DAYS TO RESPAWN
One of Jesus' lesser talked about feats was knocking a platoon of Roman soldiers who came to arrest him flat on their asses just by introducing himself.
They asked him who he was and when he told them they literally just fell backwards.
Same event where he put that guy's ear back on his head after Peter went all sword-happy.
>>79691381
>Jesus was a total puss.
Not if he was a carpenter.
>1.Jesus could hardly even carry a 100lb cross.
After being beaten half to death by Roman soldiers.
>2.Spears and thorns punctured him.
He wasn't invulnerable.
>3. Here couldn't fly but supposedly walked on water.
He ascended into heaven after resurrection.
>4. Took THREE FUCKING DAYS TO RESPAWN
All part of the plan, friend. All part of the plan.
>>79690054
>thousands of years of church studies
The more you study the bible, the truer it becomes?
>>79688028
>current year
>following Luthershit