How long till wizardhood, /co/?
I decided to take a shortcut a lá Morrison.
SIGILS MOTHERFUCKER
>>79122628
Too late, I already got laid. Guess I'll have to do it the hard way and become a martial class. Ranger or Fighter?
>>79122831
It's only worth going fighter if you have access to a katana, otherwise go ranger.
>>79122851
>Katana
BROADSWORDS MOTHERFUCKER
>>79122628
do you have to be a virgin?
if not, other 25 years
>>79122851
Psh, a katana is just a longsword with a higher crit modifier. Greatsword ftw.
>>79122831
Ridiculous combat monk. I remember seeing a build that claimed it could flying kick 320ft per round.
3 years
>>79122865
>>79123143
That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.
Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.
Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.
I lost my V at 16 and I've been getting laid regularly for ten years despite being average in absolutely every aspect.
Maybe I can still be a necromancer?
>>79123268
Nicely meme'd friend.
>>79123329
No, to be a necromancer you have to lose your virginity through necrophilia.
Gave it up
>>79122628
9 more years.
>>79123632
Fuck off baby.
>>79123569
he didn't say he wasn't
can i be a warlock? or something else?
>>79123653
Fuck off dandy.
>>79123706
Check the chart.
>>79123722
so, can i be a paladin if its not the same woman?
but warrior is also fine
Ascended last year.
How do the rules work, do I lose my powers if I get laid now?I ask because I've gone back to college and the younger girls want the D now I'm older and have gained a veneer of respectability and authority.
Pretty sure being married disqualifies me so I'll be a fucking Death Knight.
>>79123722
Guess my choices are Warrior, Rogue, or Bard. Probably gonna go with Warrior and take the Knight path.Whoever made this is confirmed for cuck though because he's jealous of Rogues he had to slip that in.
>>79122628
less than two weeks
>>79123143
>greatsword
Not just greatsword.
Not just claymore.
Pick flamberge, the king of the swords.
>>79122628
I have been fucking since i'm 14 m8. I'm a rogue
>>79122831
Ranger, dude. Since you can't become a wizard now, your best bet is ranger, women dig rangers.
What are the classes for homos?
>>79124024
The same, check the chart >>79123722
>>79122873
Does it work like that?
If it's just 30 years in a row with no sex, I have a shot at wizardhood in like 25 years.
>>79122873
>>79124118
You have to be a virgin
>>79122628
I lost it in 2013 at 22. I failed you all.
>>79123897
May you use your powers for good, my friend.
>>79124118
No, you have to keep your magic pure for the first 30 years of your life. The prophecy is very specific.
>>79123717
Came close in both a figurative and literal sense, but chose to obey my god like a good cleric instead. I still feel like I took the alignment penalty.
The spirit is strong, the flesh is weak.
9 more years.
I've got about 10 or 11 months. I've never even had a date before. Not expecting any in the near future. Or ever really.
>>79123722
Apparently I'm a Paladin?except I am a grille
kind of want to try playing d&d or call of cthulu, but I think my gf would leave me if I did. I hang out with people who play and actually understand what they're talking about
How's the fifth edition btw? I haven't had a chance to look any of it over yet
>>79122628
About 17 months or so.
>>79122628
Never. It was stolen from me by a treacherous harpy. I may never be a wizard, but perhaps, if my pleas ring clear, I may yet become a Warlock.
>>79125995
Keep reading.
>>79122628
8 MORE YEARS !
>>79122628
3 more days actually, this friday.
>>79122628
4 months and 1 day.
>mfw
>>79129285
>>79123897
Happy anticipated birthday, my magical friends
>>79122873
Yes, the succubus already took your inna mana production abilities, congratulations youre a waste
>>79122628
Barring my untimely death or some kind of miracle, I turn wizard this summer.
>>79122628
>Being a virgin
>not giving your money to the hardworking women of the sex industry
They need to make ends meet too you know.
>>79124440
>except I am a grille
fuck off succubus
>>79122628
Eight years, six months, and twelve days.
>>79129285
Happy birthday my magical lord.
3 more years. This seductress I've met recently seems to be aware of this and is trying to sabotage me. What can I do to prevent this?
>>79129479
>>79129602
Thanks.
>>79124440
Are you religious?
>>79129618
Have casual intercourse with her, and realize the true power is the power gained from others not the power gained from your meagre hoarded manna, the power offriendship
Who else shooting for Wraith here?
>>79129618
Marry her of course.
>>79129824
I don't think I'm going to live that long to be honest.
>>79122628
10 more years, you guys.
>>79123268
What is this webm from?
>>79122628
2 years.
I have a boyfriend but we won't have sex.
That okay?
>>79123722
6 more years 'tilsorceress
>>79122628
>Laid when I was in highschool
>Finally got laid again 2 months ago
Need to get laid with some sort of consistency, that stretch of time was some bullshit.
Only about 6 years left.
>>79123722
>I'm a Druid.
...
Fuck.
>>79123722
Anyone going for Archmage?
What about hand and mouth stuff? Will my fireballs be weaker? Or is even the path of lesser wizard beyond me?
>>79130017
H O U S T O N
O
U
S
T
O
N
>>79122628
2.5 years ago.
I feel much happier than 10 years ago.
>>79122628
>5 more years
Not bad
Does masturbation count ?
7 months.
19 days ago.
KNEEL BEFORE ME!
Only 7 or 6 more years! I even plan to commit suicide before I reach the age 30!
>>79130453
If it did I'd imagine no one would be wizards.
>>79130498
you would say that
boco no pico
translates to something like boco didnt hit
i know shitty as fuck "joke"
>9 months
Eh, I'll just kill myself. One of you can have the left over magical residue.
One of these days I'm going to crack and look up how to hire a prostitute online. I'm sure it won't be a police sting. All I have to figure is how to find someone expensive enough that they won't have VD.
>>79130662
Just go to a brothel in Vegas.
>>79130662
I guess that depends on where you live how it works.
Around here the police know about the massage parlors but don't do anything because its better than them being on the streets. Also because they use condoms.
>>79129949
Marvel Disk Wars.
>>79122628
Lo, that I can never be a wizard as those of you brethren, in that I found a heart what touched my own and was in turn touched in our time at a regional university.
There did we carry on and proceed with our lives for a decade, in both sin and then in matrimony...until as times grew desperate and both of us suffered, she sundered our contract having truly discovered herself and what she needs and wants.
Never will I be a wizard, but going forward with a broken soul and my own lonely thoughts of what I let slip away and she decided to end, I will serve as a ner'wizened council to avoid such attachment.
If you do seek to abandon your training, good apprentices...please be able to love thyselves first, lest it all goes crumbling away for naught.
Can I be a wizard if I'm not a virgin?
>>791226286 years;_;
>>79130856
no, get out of here you shitty warlock
5 years left. I could have been much more immensely powerful if I hadn't lost my hugless status in 2012.
>>79130828
You lack discipline!
>>79123268
Yep and 4 times a fragile. So their durability and ability to be repaired should be about a 2.
>>79131083
D20 has no "durability" rules IIRC.
>>79130139
What animal?
>>79130498
We all know that you're a druid.
>>79122628
5 years and 2 months
>>79130856
Fucking no.
>>79130960
Don't lump us warlocks in with that common fighter. We earned our magic power, and will not be put on their level.
>>79129740
No I'm an atheist. I wasn't making a statement, that's just how it happened.
>>79132701
You probably just classless. You need to have the strength of a warrior to be a paladin.
>>79132902
I am a martial artist if that helps.
>>79123722
Druid seems like a nice profession. more intune with nature. but could a wizard double as a druid?
or maybe have an increase in his druid powers
11 yearsbut I'm already a wizard at heart.
>>79122628
Does anal virginity count?in which case still no and 7 years to go
-3 years
10 years
I got time /co/. I got time.
>>79122628
I've still got a decade to go.I don't want wizard powers, /co/. I want to feel loved.
>>79130856
>>>/facebook/
>>79123722
Knight reporting
>>79122628
Just three more years.
>>79131159
Hardness and item hit points exist but rarely come up. I would like to run with a damage accumulation variant necessitating maintenance.
>>79133614
>>79133646
>>79133646
We love you anon. Now let us ride together into the magical plane
>>79133846
Love between apprentices? T-th-that's forbidden love?!
>>79129824
I'm 27 and I can already see my life laid before me until I'm 65.And it doesn't involve getting laid one bit.
>>79133887
The elders need not know. For who are they to judge?
>>79122628
9 years more, baby!
>>79123722
bards represent
>>79122831
You do know wizards can mindrape literally trillions of women into becoming fanatically devoted sex slaves and turn them all delicious brown, yes?
>>79135145
Sweet...
>this amount of non-virgins on /co/
Well, it does quite well explain the current state of the board.
