>Reading the very first script for Raimi's Spider-Man
>mfw
And you guys think it's campy as it is. It was almost Schumacher level.
YOU MESS WITH ONE OF US, YOU MESS WITH ALLLLL OF US
Got any good excerpts to post?
>>78828194
Lewd~
>>78827915
Raimi camp >>>>>>>>>Shumacher camp
Even the Hated Spiderman 3 is more watchable than Batman and Robin
>>78828194
>>78827915
First drafts of anything are the worst anon.
"We'll meet again, Spider-Man!"
"It's you who's out Gobby! Out of your mind!"
Even as a kid I thought it was a goofy as shit. And I watched the hell out of the 90s animated series as a kid.
Maybe the fact that it was live action camp as opposed to Saturday morning cartoon camp made me less forgiving to it back then.
I haven't actually watched the movie in it's entirety since I first saw it in theaters but I still remember all the crappy dialogue and recognize all the lame memes instantly, so I guess it made one hell of an impression on me regardless.
>>78828194
What the actual fuck?
This literally reads like fanfiction
>>78828318
Nah. The camp added personality to it. It was Spider Man for fucks sake, not Blade or Batman. It was just fine until he went crazy with it in part 3. Spider Man 2 is still one of the best cape movies.
>>78828194
>"Courtship among the spiders is highly ritualized."
Oh god. Even Anakin Skywalker would cringe at this.
>>78827915
campy was bad in 90s and early 00s
Today, campy Spider-Man would be a MASSIVE HIT and "FUN"
The writer, David Koepp, for some reason, really likes characters throwing poses of "operatic anguish", kneeling on the floor with their arms thrown back, screaming to the heavens.
EVIDENCE 1
>EXT. ROOF OF FACTORY - NIGHT
Spider-Man falls to his knees on the roof of the factory in the whipping wind of the helicopter, arms thrown up in anguish as he faces the dramatic skyline of the unforgiving city.
SPIDER-MAN: NOOOOO!!
>Another image comes to him, this one billowing right out of the black-bottomed clouds above him, a gigantic image of Uncle Ben's face:
UNCLE BEN: Always remember, Peter.
>Lightning flashes in the sky, outlining Uncle Ben's face, turning it into a skeleton's head for a split-second before wiping it out completely. As Spider-Man dissolves into SCREAMS of anguish, Uncle Ben's VOICE resonates over the BOOMING thunder of the coming summer storm.
UNCLE BEN (cont'd): With great power...
SPIDER-MAN: OH GOD, PLEASE NO, I'M SORRY, UNCLE BEN, FORGIVE ME...!!!
UNCLE BEN: ... great responsibility.
>Lightning flashes, GUNFIRE echoes in the distance, sounding like the dull cannon BOOMS of a faraway funeral.
>>78828495
>campy was bad in 90s and early 00s
>early 00s
Uh, you know when Spider-Man came out right?
>>78828563
Let me guess, 70s?
You would love the shit out of campy Spider-Man and you know it, especially if it was done by DisMarvel. Anyone who denies it, is a self-hating faggot
>>78828584
>Let me guess, 70s?
I'm talking about Raimi Spider-Man which was campy and that was the early 00s
>>78828382
>Spider Man 2 is still one of the best cape movies.
That train battle aftermath is still cringy as fuck though.
>You wanna get to him your gonna have to get through me! And me. And me. Me too!
And then there's this.
>IN MID-AIR
>M.J. and Spider-Man are jerked upwards as the helicopter pulls up, up and away from the bridge, bringing them with it as they dangle from the undercarriage by the strength of his webbing.
>Using the last of his strength, Spider-Man pulls M.J. up to his level and holds her, only one arm wrapped around her, the other holding onto the web.
>They soar over the water which sparkles like diamonds now, the morning sunlight has blasted away the last traces of the fog.
>M.J. looks into Spider-Man's eyes. She reaches up and raises the bottom of his mask, revealing only his lips.
M.J.: Kiss me now.
>Don't have to tell him twice. Their mouths fall together and devour one another.
>ATOP THE MANHATTAN TOWER
>Doc Ock stands alone on the bridge tower, watching as POLICEMEN climb the high tension cables, approaching the Green Goblin, to take him into custody.
DOC OCK: He's alive! You fool, you left him alive! Spider-Man!
>Doctor Octopus strikes a pose of operatic anguish - head thrown back, tentacles waving, SNAPPING in the air around him. He SCREAMS to the heavens.
DOC OCK (cont'd): SPIDER-MAAAAAAAN!
>DOWN ON THE BRIDGE
>Harry Osborn staggers to the railing of the bridge. Looking out over the river, he sees Spider-Man, dangling from the helicopter as it soars off, locked in a passionate kiss with the woman Harry loves.
>Rage is born. Permanent, murderous rage. Harry Osborn strikes a pose of operatic anguish - head thrown back, fists shaking at the heavens and SCREAMS:
HARRY: SPIIIIIIDERRR-MAAAAAANNNN!!!!
>IN MID-AIR
>M.J. and Spider-Man spin and pull out of the kiss. She opens her eyes -
>- and he's gone, swinging away into the canyon of skyscrapers. She must be really, desperately in love.
>M.J.: ...SPIDER-MAN...
>>78828626
It wasn't campy. Both Spider-Man and X-Men were rather serious. Not "Why so serious" serious, but Spider-Man obviously was ashamed of the source material. X-Men even more.
>>78828646
No fuck you. That shit was inspiring as fuck. If you think that was cringey, I don't know how you can be into heroes that fight for good
>>78828194
50 Shades of Spider-Man
>>78828679
>but Spider-Man obviously was ashamed of the source material
Maybe if you were talking about ASM
>>78828679
>Spider-Man obviously was ashamed of the source material.
r u normal?
>>78828686
It was cringy as fuck.
>>78828716
You do realize that 60s S-M was basically Beverly Hills-tier in terms of relationship drama?
>>78828675
>>Doctor Octopus strikes a pose of operatic anguish - head thrown back, tentacles waving, SNAPPING in the air around him. He SCREAMS to the heavens.
>DOC OCK (cont'd): SPIDER-MAAAAAAAN!
>>DOWN ON THE BRIDGE
>>Harry Osborn staggers to the railing of the bridge. Looking out over the river, he sees Spider-Man, dangling from the helicopter as it soars off, locked in a passionate kiss with the woman Harry loves.
>>Rage is born. Permanent, murderous rage. Harry Osborn strikes a pose of operatic anguish - head thrown back, fists shaking at the heavens and SCREAMS:
>HARRY: SPIIIIIIDERRR-MAAAAAANNNN!!!!
Oh my god, this is amazing
>>78828723
Because it's 2016 and I'm tired of /co/'s bullshit.
You would love the shit out of Campy Spider-Man and there is no need to pretend otherwise. It might be cringey, it might be horrible, but you would love that, you would go to see that movie twice, and then you would shill the fuck of that movie here.
>>78828287
Ahh, that could be from anything!
>>78828741
>J Jonah Jameson is just sitting around in his office, strikes a pose of operatic anguish - head thrown back, fists shaking at the heavens and SCREAMS: SPIIIIIIIIIIDEEEERRR-MAAAAAN!!
Peter going full /r9k/
>INT. HOSPITAL ROOM - NIGHT
>Late at night. Dark. Peter sits a lonely vigil next to Aunt May's bed, in and out of consciousness. He hears a soft TAPPING from the door behind him. He turns.
>M.J. stands in the doorway, holding a bouquet of flowers. Peter looks at her, then looks away, back at his Aunt.
>M.J. comes in, sets the flowers down. She bends over, puts her arms around Peter's neck, gives him a hug. He closes his eyes, almost can't bear it. They speak in hushed whispers.
M.J.: Will she be okay?
PETER: Maybe. Maybe not.
>Words flow out of him, almost against his will.
PETER (cont'd): No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, the people I love are always... the ones who pay.
M.J.: I been there. I know it feels like your fault. I thought it was my fault when my dad left, but it wasn't. You're good to her. That's all you can be. You're good to everyone, Peter.
>She gives him a kiss on the cheek, a soft, lingering one. This is almost torture, and it awakens something ugly in him.
PETER: What is this, an audition?
M.J.: What?
PETER: Are you trying out for a new part? The best friend? That's what you're about to tell me, isn't it? You respect me, you admire me, you love me, as a friend. Right?! Don't bother with that speech, M.J., I've heard it plenty of times before.
>He gets up and heads for the door, fast.
M.J.: Hey, wait, I...
>He turns back, sharply, grabs her by the shoulders, and pulls her close to him, anger and confusion boiling over. He looks at her, just inches from him. She is the most beautiful thing on this earth, and he has never been more powerful. Not as Peter Parker, anyway.
PETER: If you knew the first thing about me, you'd, you'd... if I could just tell you...
>He stops himself, barely. She looks at him.
M.J.: Peter? (closer) Peter?
>She's really studying him, staring into his eyes. Is there a flash of something else there?
M.J. (cont'd): Something's... different.
>>78828506
I would cackle in the theater if I ever saw that in a movie.
>INT. OSBORN MANSION - UPSTAIRS HALLWAY - NIGHT
>Harry Osborn tiptoes up the stairs of the townhouse. He walks toward the end of a long, long dark hallway, where a light is on. From the room at the end of the hall, he hears an ANGRY MUTTERING, but he can't make out any of the words.
HARRY: Dad?
>Norman Osborn, dressed in normal clothes, steps into the hallway, startled. They talk, from this great distance. Osborn is just a dark shadow.
HARRY (cont'd): You were right about M.J. You were right about everything. I think she's in love with Peter.
OSBORN: Peter... Parker?
>He takes a few steps forward, closer in this long hallway.
OSBORN (cont'd): And does he... love her as well?
HARRY: Are you kidding? He tries to deny it, but he's been in love with her since he was twelve years old.
OSBORN: Reeeeeally. What a... tangled web.
>>78828506
>>78828675
I love this, it's so over-the-top
>>78829405
Honestly, compared to the other ones this scene is a goddamn masterpiece.
>>78828902
http://www.cracked.com/article_16716_7-terrible-early-versions-great-movies.html>inb4
>>78828506
Holy shit
>>78829405
But this one is good
>>78829952
I just find Norman's line really cheesy.
>>78829993
No worse than "you're the one who's out, Gobby"
>>78828366
Cameron's Spider-Man is blatant self-insert fanfiction.
>Peter is a bright kid. He doesn't have many friends. He is ostracized for his interest in science. Our MTV culture frowns on people who think too much. Intellectual curiosity is decidedly un-hip. Who cares about where the universe came from or how the Greeks hammered Troy? Did you hear the new Pearl Jam album?
>Peter is defiant. He thinks they are the real losers. They'll be flipping burgers while he's discovering the cure to cancer. We'll see who wins in the long run. He wears his isolation like a badge... with an air of superiority. In fact, he is awesomely shy and desperately lonely and unhappy. But whenever this occurs to him, he loses himself in his studies, and finds a kind of peace.
>He has the 17 year-old's sense that he knows everything about the world, and can see so clearly all the things that are wrong with it. In fact he is very insulated and knows almost nothing about human nature in all its complexity. He doesn't even understand himself very well.
>Because his life of the mind is his badge of superiority, he frowns on the pursuits of the body. Sports? Forget it. Bunch of jock boneheads crashing into each other. Like stag elk in rut. Senseless violence. Girls? Good in theory, but how do you talk to them? Dancing? No way. He tried it once. Not a pretty sight.
>Peter is a virgin. And apt to remain that way for a while. He's your basic sexually pent-up adolescent. One other thing about Peter, though. He is a plucky kid. He's got true grit. He's never had an opportunity to prove this, to himself or anyone else. But he will soon...
>>78828646
>You wanna get to him your gonna have to get through me! And me. And me. Me too!
Then Ock does go through all of them, which was good.
SPIDER OF SLAUGHTER
>Flash is walking to his car after gymnastics practice. It is dark. A figure drops silently down from behind him. Flash spins and sees a guy in a black fishnet mask. Thinking it is a robbery, Flash swings... only to grab his own fist in pain. It was like hitting oak. Peter holds Flash with one hand and slaps him hard.
SPIDER MAN: How do you like it? Huh?
>He slaps him again, backhand. Then he cocks back his fist and BLAM! Punches Flash so hard he flies ten feet. He picks him up, gets him in a painful armlock... marches him to his beloved Porsche and slams him brutally against it. He pounds Flash into the car until the jock collapses, semi-conscious.
>Peter then rips a signpost out of the ground and pounds the car into junk. Glass flies everywhere. Peter leans close to Flash and tells him to stay away from Mary Jane... or else.
>Cut to Peter running. He stops around a corner, out of sight. In darkness he stands panting... looking down at his hands. He rubs his knuckles.
SPIDER MAN (V.O.): I wonder if every hero remembers their first punch. Well, I do. Maybe it was all the bullies, over the years, kicking the skinny kid around. All that stored up rage just came out so fast it was scary. For a split second I just wanted to kill him. It's a good thing his car was there. I always hated that Porsche.
>Peter is gasping, shaking with emotion. He feels like this strange power flowing through him has unleashed demons. That he is becoming something he doesn't recognize. He doesn't realize that these primal forces are within us all... and the power, like the power of adulthood... gives us the possibility of acting on those dark urges.
SPIDER MAN: But the scariest thing of all was... belting that jock butthead felt so good.
>>78828506
hahahaha
>>78830180
So basically he's what your average 4chan user would be if they had a spine and their delusions about their intelligence matched the reality.
>>78830180
I don't think he even actually wrote the script
That sounds like a younger me though unfortunately
>>78830180
He actually tapped into some of that Randian Dikto assholery Morrison also noted
>>78829405
>What a... tangled web.
>>78830619
He did.
>>78830180
Damn it, I came to cringe at bad movie scripts, not my high school self.;_:
Did you guys ever wonder about Electro's sex life? Cameron has.
>CUT BACK TO PRESENT, in Strand's mansion. A WOMAN enters the room. She is stunningly beautiful. The kind of consort you would expect for a man of wealth, power and taste. This is CORDELIA. He motions her to him and she glides over, but stops a foot away.
STRAND: I must say, my dear. You look very usable tonight.
>She smiles playfully. He circles her, almost touching her. His hands move over her... inches from her skin. He leans close and breathes in her scent. But he can't touch her.
>She opens her silk robe. Underneath she is wearing a rubber wetsuit. He touches the rubber, running his fingertips over her. We hear a faint crackling of electricity. She seems both excited and apprehensive.
STRAND: I want you. Not rubber.
CORDELIA: No, Carl--
STRAND: Yes!
>Strand doesn't like the concept of no. He takes her in his arms and kisses her. With passion. And more... her hair stands straight out with the electrostatic charge. She begins to convulse, in tiny shivers at first but then like an epileptic. Suddenly she goes limp. Her eyes stare fixedly at the ceiling.
STRAND: Shit.
>>78829205
Literally *tips fedora*
>>78830180
>>Peter is defiant. He thinks they are the real losers. They'll be flipping burgers while he's discovering the cure to cancer. We'll see who wins in the long run. He wears his isolation like a badge... with an air of superiority.
To be fair, this is basically how Peter was at the beginning
The rest of that I'm pretty sure I have actually read as FF.net synopses
>>78831132
>Suddenly she goes limp. Her eyes stare fixedly at the ceiling.
>STRAND: Shit.
Most of that was cringe but this part was kinda funny
>>78831322
It feels more like something you'd see in a Superhero parody though.
>>78828194
>>78831132
Why is Cameron's so lewd.
>>78827915
>It was almost Schumacher level.
It literally was. The only reason it gets a pass is because of nostalgia, and because of seeing spiderman swinging for the first time in media outside of comics. But mostly nostalgia. None of them have aged good at all.
>>78832752
Bait.
