Think of a writer /co/.
Anyone from anywhere, just think on the first writer that comes to your head. Ready now?Are you sure?Are you really, really, really sure about it?OK then I warned you.Seriously m8 you need to be totally sureThe person you choose starts writing your life from now on. What happens?_____________
>>78761758
A lot of surreal shit happens to me, but at least I might rediscover myself and maybe even meet him.
>>78761758
It's Clive Barker, so it is going to get kinky as all fucking shit and I may even get super powers. I might die horribly, but there will likely be more than a few orgasms and cosmic truths. I can dig it.
Can't wait for me and my family's ass to be kicked every 2nd week.
Skottie Young - I guess a lot of campy ultraviolence happens around be but its just like... for fun, you know?
Alex Hirsch - I supposedly make amazing personal/character advancements but everything feels rushed and inauthentic. Also there's some seriously misdirected nostalgia. At least I adopt some kind of wacky pet??? And my extended family's way more supportive, nice.
well this is gonna go in any number of ways
Gerard Jones - I just started reading his shit why did I choose him. Okay, uh... I spend a lot of time asking rhetorical questions and talking in the general direction of nothing.
Daniel Clowes
it's pretty much art school confidential + ghost world and my life comes to a close in a way that's not objectively that bad but still leaves you with a deep sense of loss lmao
>bendis writes my life
that explains why i cant remember anything from the last 7 years
at least i will be popular with the normies
>>78770304
>condemned to an entire life where you can't say anything but bendispeak
So sorry.
>>78770304
>at least i will be popular with the normies
sometimes I wonder if thats a good thing
Would life be better if we had normalfag friends?
Would life be better if we were normalfags?
>>78761758
>Neil "Scary Trousers" Gaiman
I guess shit's about to get spooky. It'll be aight, though.
>>78770433
If we were normalfags, we wouldn't be here at all.You would probably be in the Bendis' Guardians wagon and praising Age of Ultron and Man of Steel.So, you tell me.
>>78770473
oh man get ready for some poignant dream sequences
>>78770559
but I would have friends
>Kurt Busiek
I live in Astro City! Yaaaay!
>Alan Moore
...Shit.
>>78774529
Prepare your anus, because he'll be doing a deep characterization onto you.
>>78761758
>Jhonen Vasquez
Like my life doesn't already have enough suffering in it.
For some reason I went for George Lucas.
I'm... Honestly not sure but it'll be shit anyway
>>78770559
What does it mean if I hate Age of Ultron and like MoS?
Sorry to tell you this anon, but you're going to entirely rendered in CGI. At the end, Yoda will die and you will say "Now I am Yoda" and will transform accordingly.
>>78761758
>Neil Gaiman
So basically my whole life is a collection of short stories where I learn to grow up and be an adult. I can deal with that, it would be like living in a really well written sitcom.
> Aaron Neatherly
Either I'm a furry, a goofy human or doomed to die. Or all three.
Help
>>78777086
That you're a DCshill
>>78761758
>Greg Weisman
I develop an elaborate but well thought out and satisfying plan for my live.
I begin to put it into play and within a year am hit by a bus.
>>78777148
Chose Gaiman too. Kinda wish I went with Pratchett
>>78777318
You die within the first two thirds of your life
Thomas Pynchon
don't really know how to feel about this
>>78777384
with Pratchett you probably end up dead in an alley though. In a very funny way! But still, dead and tossed in the Ankh.
>Joe Abercrombie
I'll be a conflicted, morally grey man who ends up getting maimed horribly/turns out to be a paedophile or something and ends up back at square one at the end of the story
>Simon Furman
My dialogue is now very repetitive and overly fancy.
>>78761758
>Scott Snyder
It'll start off strong at least..
>>78777507
But it'd be a hilarious ride. Now that I think about it I'm fine with Gaiman, I might be able to meet Death
>>78764257
That was my choice too.
But what if I'm just some background character? Or some goon or bystander who gets killed? Whatever stories are being told in the real world, I already know damn well I'm not the main character. Why would it be any different with a new writer?
>>78761758
>Grant Morrison
OH SHIT
>>78776992
You were the most popular kid in high school, and then as you got older you'd become obsessed with how cool you used to be. Constantly trying to revamp yourself to be cool again, you mostly piss off all your old friends and they call you autistic behind your back. Slowly you become a 2 dimensional parody of your former idealized self. One day as you browse facebook you'll see some little kid you used to babysit, turns out he grew up watching you and decided to try and copy your style. The weird thing is that people think the new kid is awesome, and it utterly baffles you that they don't understand that you're just as cool as he is.
>>78761758
>Oscar Wilde
I talk in comical paradoxes all the time and drag out trivial matters into never-ending farces. Also, I do not realize that every male in my life is secretly dropping gay innuendo and are probably all boning each other. Hey maybe this is pretty close to reality.
>>78777704
EVERYONE meets Death, though, don't they?
>>78777873
Hot Death.
>Walt Whitman
Nice.
>Frank Herbert
I become a monster at the cost of preserving the human race
And die a virgin
>James Roberts
I'm fucked. But it will be a glorious burning fucked up kind of way.
>>78761758
>Geoff Johns
I become Green Lantern and deck Batman who is a scared pussy in real life.
>>78777908
Rude.
>Remender
Fuck. Everyone I care about will die or leave me, I'll have no friends, be abused as a kid, end up an alcoholic, and probably kill myself.So nothing changes.
>>78761758
>Alison Acton
Well, I either work for a zoo and take care of the animals there, especially the crazy residents of the bear habitat section and get injured at least once a week from their antics, or will be one of the new bears with a sad/tragic backstory like the rest of the bears.
Yeaaah, not a good thing, especially if its option 2.
>Stephen King
>I'm not Roland of Gilead
I'm probably fucked.
Probably.
>>78778761
Are you a writer?
Do you live in Maine?
DO YOU LIVE IN MAINE?
>Greg Rucka
I guess I'm joining the CIA and also becoming a woman.
>>78778844
Not necessarily.
You will, however, meet a beautiful, physically fit woman, possibly an ex-cop or a Marine.
There is a good chance she'll nail you.
>>78777541
>/turns out to be a paedophile
Like most of 4chan.
Andy Weir?
I guess I'm going to lost everywhere I go, and make a journal out of it. Mostly a shit life
>>78761758
Geoff Johns
EPIC
RAINBOW
CEREAL
PUNCHES
>>78778815
I used to write before I found out it was one of the main sources of my depression.
Luckily I live in Texas.Until that fucker decides I move to Maine to reflect the fact that I do actually want to move up north where it's colder.
>>78761758
PAD.
I have an awesome life that no one talks about.
>>78779456
>I used to write before I found out it was one of the main sources of my depression
Jesus Christ, the book writes itself.
Your best bet is to floor the fucking accelerator and head for California the moment shit gets weird.
You're still fucked though.
>>78761758
>Cormac McCarthy
Pic so so so so very related.
>>78779524
Best case scenario I'll just end up with a debilitating injury, a sudden love of writing again, and the love of my life.
Worst case I die (or worse), hopefully heroically. I'm holding onto the "I'm the protagonist" angle for dear life here.
>Tolkien.
I'm either some divine prince/king or a descendant of one destined to do great deeds, or I'm about to be cursed so fucking hard that they'll write songs about how fucking cursed I was for thousands of years.
>>78761758
>Ennis
Fuck
>>78779624
Or, considering you're the main character, you're probably just a hobbit.
>>78779659
The Hobbits were descended from what was basically Hobbit nobility, and every member of the Fellowship aside from them was either a king, prince, nobility, or in Gandalf's case a demigod. Tolkien wrote a fuckload about elves before that though, mostly cursed elves. I mean a lot of cursed elves.
>>78779583
You are so fucking fucked, mate.
At least it's going to be philosophical
>Geoff Johns
I get some improvement and life becomes a lot cooler
>>78777928
Haha! Time for subtle homoeroticism
>>78761758
Toshiki Inoue
Misunderstandings everywhere and I end up in a river at least once
>>78761758
>Rebecca Sugar
Well, I'm already an emotional wreck, but at least I'll be able to sing beautifully and might just come out with some supernatural powers and a loving community of friends
>Vonnegut
So I'm smiling but crying on the inside.So no change
>>78761758
>Mark Waid
I become a pakistani woman and start getting into twitter arguments daily.
>>78761758
>Yoshikazu Hamada
>mfw
>>78779756
You'd probably be way better off as a hobbit.
>>78770433
I have lots of normalfag friends. They dumb me down.
>>78777086
That you're not a lost cause.
Sugar makes me a total fucking faggot and a disgusting liberal.
What if I thought Age of Ultron was okay, liked Man of Steel, but strongly feel that Batman v Superman is gonna be terrible, and Suicide Squad is going to be worse?
>>78779781
My dialog and that of all my friends will suddenly be 1000x better, and I'll probably get to travel around the country a bit. But yeah, my end will probably be epic gory. And if this motherfucker shows up anywhere near me I'm eating a shotgun.
Roald Dahl
What the fuck.
>>78780117
Then you're a moron pleb.
>>78761758
>Garth Ennis
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
China Meiville
hmm... It could go anywhere, really. I guess that's good
>>78780117
Then you have a terminal case of shit taste. Sorry anon, you should get euthanized as fast as possible.
>yost
Haha, time for suffering
>>78780117
I never understood this logic of predicting if things in entertainment were going to be "good" or not. It does nothing for you. At all. Except maybe anger. Or hype you up. But if someone is putting this much effort into determining how good something is, chances are they are looking to be as critical and skeptical as possible. Keep in mind, I am talking about trying to see if a movie is good or not, BEFORE IT EVEN COMES OUT.
If you are really going to spend time wondering if some piece of entertainment is going to be "good", you might as well just go play with stocks or something. At least all the effort and analysis might get you some money.
>>78780139
>The man put the shotgun up to his face and hesitated. He was afraid of dying and for a moment that fear outweighed the fear of the man who was coming for him. But that hesitation and he pulled the trigger.
>Despite blowing off the top third of his head, the man was still alive. His one remaining eye shook in its socket. He would scream if his body could remember how to perform such an action. With a major portion of his brain dripping down the wall behind him, the man was unable to understand what he had done to himself. He no longer could remember why he was afraid. All he knew was pain.
>>78780333
It's called determining whether or not it's worth making an investment to see it in a movie theater. If a film looks like it's being acted and casted badly through its trailer, the advert designed specifically to make you want to see the movie, then I'm naturally going to form an impression of what that movie may end up being like.
You think this is supposed to be the result of hard work or some shit. I didn't like the trailers, and am therefore pessimistic of the final product.
>>78780583
You sound like such a pleb.
>>78780583
Yeah, basic level of getting an impression, sure. See a trailer, talk about it for a bit with friends or something? Hey, alright, good for you. Hours, upon hours of crazy detailed predictions and going rabid over tiny details? Doing this day after day for weeks? No thanks. If people are going that crazy over $10 in the movie theater, then I stick to my previous statement about investing in stocks. At least you'll get more out of it.
I'm now a gay Heroin addict who is about to do some weird, nonsensical, out-of-order shit he can't understand.
>>78780785
That level of obsession is idiotic, I agree. I insist that's not what I was doing.
>>78780388
And then the Judge walks in to deliver a monologue on the nature of suffering and the human mind, or some shit. I almost picked J.K. Rowling but oh fucking no, can't look like a pleb right?
I picked JK Rowling
Not baad, magic me up!
>>78781295
Then it turns out you're just in a regular-ass detective novel.
>>78780674
>>78780241
>>78780172
Go to bed, Snyder.
>>78761758
GUYS... i chose Slott...
I CHOSE SLOTT GUYS.
>Tom Clancy
My life will become increasingly lazy and unhinged, but every adventure will end with COMPLETE AMERICAN HEGEMONY
>>78761758
George R. Martin. I'll be fine... right?
>>78782785
As long as you're a POV with a name that isn't Eddard, you should last a few books at least.
>>78782855
And even if you die, there's half a dozen ways to be resurrected (not rising from the grave in a horrific form of undeath not guaranteed)
>>78780117
It means you blindly listen to what /co/ tells you but then revert to your normalfag programming after time passes.
>>78782785
Sorry anon you are totally fucked
>>78761758
I FUCKING HATE YOU
I would kill myself, though.
>reading Ligotti
Well fuck me.
>>78787129
Every time I forget about ME3 someone goes and reminds me about it again.
>Stephen King
I already live in Maine, though...
I picked Douglass Adams
I'm really not sure what to think of that
>>78761758
>Mignola
freaky supernatural crap, and lots of prophecies is gonna happen
Let's do it
>>78787283
So did the Ben Mears, and he went back to that shit.
>>78787340
Same boat, my friend. I'm just jealous I won't be able to see how he describes all the mundane shit I do every day.
>>78780910
Junkie is seriously GOAT, let's beat up a hobo then I'll blow you. Come on man, don't be a queer.
>>78787177
>>78787129
I honestly don't get the hate. By 2 it was clear that the series had basically become 'shooting with text', not a new Bioware RPG series. EA doesn't know anything else but shooting and sports, and it was all EA at that point. I think the end of ME3 actually offered more choice than I expected, and the multiplayer was surprisingly fun. Only thing I disliked was the multiplayer score affecting the campaign.
Really, I think anyone expecting more out of ME3 after playing ME2 should've seen in advance what kind of disappointment they were setting themselves up for.
>Rick Remender
Well I guess a lot of my loved ones in my life are getting killed.
>Warren Ellis
Well, he's good at writing cynical unlikable assholes so it'd probably be good.
>Fletcher Hanks
oh no
oooooh nooooo
Either I spend my life sentencing others to cruel and unusual punishments orI spend eternity suffering at the hands of a demented manchild
>>78788772
At least no one'll get hurt.
>>78761758
>Nick Spencer
I would probably be chasing success as my white rabbit in some capacity.
I can't become sassy the way his Boomerang and Ant-Man arebecause I already am
Terry Pratchett.
Man I love my choice
>Jim Butcher
everything is on fire
>>78780910
now it's two of us m8
>>78761758
>Tom King
Oboy. I get to be a man-whore. I'm totally okay with this.
>>78788762
>I think the end of ME3 actually offered more choice than I expected
What the fuck were you expecting?
>>78761758
>Bryan Lee O'Malley
Guess I'm fine. I think.
>>78761758
>Stephen King
Great. Now I have to team up with a bunch of stereotypes to use vaguely defined and poorly understood magic to fight an eldritch abomination that in the end turns out to be not nearly as scary as it was built up to be, and then I'll forget the whole thing ever happened.
Actually, since I'm a fat, nerdy guy I'll probably be written to be an asshole and die horribly.
>Jim Davis
Dammit I need to stop thinking of Garfield on these things.
>Nabokov
I'm going to expand my vocabulary in very interesting ways. My life will also probably take a tragic turn for the worst but I won't fully understand why.
>>78793489
One of your friends might be gay tho.
>>78794121
One of my friends is gay
>it's already happening
>Garth Ennis
Get fucked up the arse for comedic purposes.
>>78793489
You will get to have sex frequently. Which is nice. Or you'll just learn to accept yourself. Either way, good times.
>Fraction
At least I'll get laid.
>>78777487
You are going to have some of the best male friendships of all time. But you need to contend with conspiracies and probably talking animals or some other nonsense. Anyway, enjoy the ride.
