Roast me /co/
>>78179880
You're a dog. You can't see colours.
That means you can't see the colours of the American flag.Commie.
>>78179880
You've fucked so many women you're responsible for more zoophiles than Islam.
>>78179880
The only good parts of Family Guy are when you get BTFO
>>78179880
I can't do thatThis isn't China
>>78179880
The best part of the show was when you died and got replaced with vinny, the worst part was when they brought you back.
>>78179880
Shhhh... listen carefully, you hear it Brian?That's the sound of nobody caring what you think.I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.You never did get an education did you Brian?Morality stopped you from doing that but then you steal stories from a damn baby.
>>78179880
No matter how hard you try.
You will never be as successful as Snoopy.
>>78179880
Okay, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. You constantly hit on your best friend's wife, the man pays for your food and rescued you from certain death, and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, you defecate all over his yard. And you're such a sponge. You pay for nothing, you always say "Oh, I'll get you later," but later never comes. And what really bothers me, is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos. Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it. I don't buy them a copy of "Catcher in the Rye" and then lecture them with some seventh grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield is some profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a spoiled brat! And that's why you like him so much, he's you! God, you're pretentious! And you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer even though you're terrible. You know, I should've known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She would've known there's no "a" in the word "definite." And I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda, how we should "legalize pot, man," how big business is crushing the underclass, how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America. Well, what have you done to help? I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there! You wanna help? Grab a ladle! And by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion for that matter, because "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone? You failed college twice, which isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father! How's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that, all of it, if you weren't such a bore! That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic bore.
>>78181929
Brian has a son?
>>78181929
Thanks for the fucking steak
>>78182369
yeah, i think he had sex with one fat chick or whatever and that was him. he later reappeared as a Disney Channel star in "Brian's a Bad Father"
>>78179880
You're the furry avatar of an unfunny liberal.
>>78179880
I used to think your nose was a giant hole in your face yah snoopy rip off get hit by a car and die faggot.
>>78182913
Oh wait, you did
>>78179880
You're like an even gayer Birdo
>>78181929
This was so stupid considering this is all coming from a pedophile, rapist asshole, who wanted to bang Lois just as much as Brian does if not more because hes a sex freak and gave up his own kid because he was an actual shitty parent. This came after the episode of Brian meeting his son after finding out he had one, wanted to be in his life and completely turns him around from being a total waste of a human who then says he didn't need Brian anymore because he did so much for him and needed to be with his train wreck of a mother to help her. Did the writers not bother to look back on previous episodes before writing this? Guess they had George Lucas on the team for this one.
>>78179880
self-insert
>>78183077
>derp derp even though im an objectively worse person than you i still have a right to chew you the fuck out because even though im a more terrible person and a literal rapist and guilty of everything i'm calling you out on and more, i at least am comfortable with being an awful person meanwhile you try to make yourself out to be a better person than you actually are
yeah this was a really shitty episode, as usual when the family guy writers try to be serious
>>78179880
I cant, you're too hot
>yfw Quagmire, a dedicated child rapist, roasts brian
>>78179913
>colours
Nice try, false-flagging commie.
>>78183077
brian, quagmire roasted the fuck out of you. sit back down.
>>78179913
>colours
>>78179880
HOLY SHIT A TALKING DOG!
>>78183077
I completely agree. It made the roasting so much less satisfying because it was retarded to have it come from Quagmire, someone who is far worse as a person. Brian was awful but even Meg telling him all of that would've made the delivery better as opposed to Quagmire.
>>78183077
>>78183564
>>78187088
Seth specifically said thats why they picked quagmire to give the speech, because hes the person who should be talking the least.
>>78187162
>Seth specifically said thats why they picked quagmire
And how does it make it any less stupid?
>>78187261
It doesn't, i'm just saying that it obviously was meant to be a joke (Albeit, not a funny one) and was not meant to be taken seriously.
Check this 88888
Is he still dead or did they bring him back yet.
Your show was shit, and will always be shit.
Cosmos was alright. Do more of that.
>>78179880
I hate dipshits in cartoons that act as political mouthpieces, and you are the worst I have ever seen out of any of them, because you are played seriously by a show that acts like you are by default correct.
And this show is watched by the general public, and we're all supposed to play along like you're some sort of fucking genius hero when you're nothing but a terrible mixtape of America's 'hip' beliefs.
I think you would justify people with perfectly functional bodies deliberately crippling themselves as trans-handicapped or whatever the hell it is they call themselves, while there are people born quadriplegic that would kill to have those legs, just because it would be considered tolerant and politically correct in the eyes of your cherry-picked idols.
The only good things about your show are some throwaway gags and fight choreography.
>>78188885
so close, man
>>78188888
The most recent season has beenokayso far.
>>78179880
Hot dog.
>>78187352
Maybe it COULD of worked, if they had Quag's shit catch up to him, after a bit of the rant.
Cue "zany" shit, and force them to work together, and they eventually agree to disagree, just to get out of dodge...
They can't even do that, so their friends save their worthless asses.
At the end, everyone else but Quagmire, Brian, and Joe have to go home, and the two little shits start a mini fuss again, until Joe breaks the fag-birds up, and Quags goes home.
Alone, Joe tells Brian, just because the worst half of what he said applied double for himself, doesn't make Brian less of a shit, and though the dumb dog starts to get angry, he deflates, and has to admit it's true.
Mind you, the way I'm saying it is shit, but the way it played out, looks UP to shit, and I'm sure a decent writer could make some variant of my idea work.
True, my drinking may have hindered my judgement of quality, but I'd imagine getting several 10 year olds, hopping them up on speed, and having them write an episode each, blindfolded, would churn out several better ideas than what we got from this filth.
I'd say the nail in the coffin was that Quagmire didn't die with Brian, since they're the only ones deserving of each other's horrible company, but that coffin was burried when this ep, aired.
>>78179913
>colours
Europoor detected
