>called Batman
>doesn't even use a bat
bravo Whedon
>>78090312
>>78090312
>Called the flash
>Never exposes himself
>>78090312
>Wolverine
>not part wolf, part marine
Thanks, Sakurai
>Monkey D. Dragon
>Presumably neither of those animals
>iron fist
>fists are clearly made of flesh
>>78090465
>called the flash
>never uses flashbang grenades
>>78090312
>Spider-Man
>Never dashes anywhere
>Deadpool
>Not even a puddle
>Called Darkseid
>Wh... Why is he called Darkseid
I know he's an alien but was there any reason they couldn't just call him Darkside?
>>78090465
>>78090649
>Has skin
>Isn't called The Flesh instead
>Mr. Fantastic
>Is a dick
>Green Lantern
>Isn't even green
>star-lord
>is not a lord
>Aquaman
>Isn't made completely of water
>>78090683
That's taken
>>78090735
Uh...
>Nightwing
>His father wasn't named Dick Gray
>Longshot
>doesn't shoot, throws knives instead
>Gambit
>plays cards
>the Hood
>is white
>Name's Tony Stark
>Is a weak addict who needs powered armor to save people
>>78090875
>Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist
>Adventure Time
>there are never any adventures
>superman
>he's pretty super, man.
>Hellboy
>clearly a hell man
>Yellowjacket
>jacket is more black than yellow
>fairly oddparents
>everything that happens in the show has become trite and predictable
>Steven Universe
>they stay on Earth, in some gay little town
>rocko's modern life
>its 20 years old
>Dr. Octopus
>Neither has a PhD or is a cephalopodI'm not actually sure about that first one.
>gumball
>he is not gum
>he is cat
>>78090312
This is why True Brit Batman is the superior version.
>Daredevil
>not imbued with demonic powers
>>78090702
What
>>78091243
Doctor Octopus does have a PHD, as does Doctor Doom (although Dooms is likely a phony one awarded by the University of Latveria as he never finished college.) Doctor Strange is an actual qualified doctor and used to be a brilliant surgeon before losing much of his manual dexterity due to a car accident.
>Arnold Schwarzenegger
>Wife is still alive
>>78090551
Joke's on you, by modern taxonomic definition all humans are monkeys.
>Green Arrow
>lots of green
>shoots arrows that are also green
Mission Accomplished.
>>78092987
We're Apes, you philistine.
>>78093006
And apes are monkeys.
Most people still think of taxonomy in the terms of classical Linnaean taxonomy, but that system has been redundant and out of use by taxonomists for at least a decade at this point, it was a shitty system that had to be continually patched by adding more and more subcategories and eventually Phylogeneticists just came to the near unanimous decision that it is ultimately based in a bunch of arbitrary, subjective distinctions and stopped using it.
Modern taxonomy is monophyletic, if a species evolved from another species then it will remain a sub-species of the species it came from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A-dMqEbSk8
>>78090724
>star-lord
>is a baron
>>78092947
>losing much of his manual dexterity
Doesn't he need that to do complicated spells?
>>78090312
>>78093201
He didn't completely lose it, he just doesn't have the delicate touch and steady hand required to perform complex surgery anymore.
Besides, most of the times we see him casting spells he's just doing the metal horns.
>>78090417
How do pants even fit him
