So let me get this straight: Every time Superman saves the day, Clark Kent mysteriously disappears without a trace yet he's always the first to get the scoop.
Seems kinda fishy to me, what's his secret?
>>77437070
Superman probably sends him a text before a big scene or something. Its pretty obvious desu senpai
It's called "reporting", you damned hack.
He grew up on farm, he knows what a day's work is! Not like the rest of those lollygaggers at the Daily Planet who just stand around mouth agape as a 5th Dimensional being transforms half their city into candy that actually makes you lose weight if you eat it. Clark is out there on the street getting his work done
Clark Kent is Batman, he's on the Justice League with Superman so he knows when events are going down.
>>77437070
superman is clark kent
>>77437204
I think that might actually be plausible.
>>77437070
He's got luck with Superman, I guess.
Come to think of it so does Lois Lane.
And that Olsen kid....
I get the feeling that he's being secretly funded by Batman to get any dirt he can on Superman, that's why he's always first on the scene and getting those candid shots.
>>77437070
Clark Kent? I dunno, he's kind of your average, everyday guy. I honestly lose track of him whenever something exciting happens. I mean, an average Joe like him is easy to overlook, hes probably been there during the Superman events, I just never noticed him.
One thing's for sure, though, the guy's to average and nerdy to be a superhero. Nah, if Superman really is an average citizen in disguise, he'd be someone cool and heroic, a moviestar or something, not a boring pencil pusher.
>>77437070
So? Clark gets to put in work while everyone focus on superman. Plus I heard the guy is very shy so meeting supes could be intimidating.
HURRR These threads are so funny! DURRR WE DON'T KNOW CLARK KENT IS BATMAN HURRRRRR. Jesus Christ, be original, /co/.
>>77437070
pretty plausible. No one gives a shit about him at work, they probably think he sees shit going down and immediately runs to get there first.
>>77437070
>Clark Kent
Who?
>>77437325
It is especially weird to see this thread months after the world knows he is Clark Kent. Saw this thread enough before that.
>>77437210
Take your shitty conspiracies back to /pol/ familia.
>>77437210
Sure. I bet Lois Lane is Wonder Woman too, huh?
>>77437070
Oh just shut the fuck up
whats the appeal of these retarded roleplay threads exactly
>>77437070
Everyone knows Clark is Fucking Superman.I mean there is no way someone straight dresses like that. I think its unethical all the pillow talk that must go down.
Clark Kent is clearly Superman's favorite reporter.
>>77437070
Nobody knows this, but Clark Kent has a secret identity. He is really an evil genius who causes crimes and disasters around the world to attract Superman. Its all to fuel his journalism career.
>>77437070
Its fucking Clark Kent, The man has won pulitzer, its now wonder why superman trusts Kent so much with his info.
>>77438662
ALL FOR JOURNALISM!
>>77438226
No, Lois Lane isSuperwoman.
So let me get this straight: Every time He-Man saves the day, Prince Adam mysteriously disappears without a trace yet he's always the first to disappear. Like he gets behind a bush or behind a wall, or just walks a few steps in any general direction, then everyone hears "BY THE POWER OF GRAYSKULL!' and lord and behold there is He man. Also the same thing happens with Battle-cat and Cringer.
Seems kinda fishy to me, what's their secret?
>>77437070
It's obvious that Clark Kent trades sexual favours to Superman in return for access to his exploits.
This is an injustice. We need a movement for ethics in superhero journalism.
>>77437070
How does Clark get better pictures than Peter Parker? At least Parker is friends with spidey, I'm sure that superman doesn't even know Clark Kent is.
Clark Kent isn't Batman. How do you explain Clark Kent being out in the daylight? Everyone knows that Batman is a vampire.
>>77438989
Jimmy Olsen is Kent's photographer. It is plainly obvious that Jimmy Olsen is Superman!
>>77439098
How can Superman fly around if he can't see? Fuck out of here retard.
>>77437070
Who is this Clark Kent? And who is this Superman?
Come to me, Superman! I defy you! Come and kneel before Zod! Zod!!!!
>>77439098
They don't even have the same hair. Superman has a curl you dunce.
What's with Bruce Wayen and all these "wards" he keeps around? Why haven't the police investigated this obvious pedophile?
>>77439098
>>77439339
Didn't two of them just die? Was there even ever an inquiry into that? Did the police even do anything? Seems kind of suspicious that you just stopped hearing about them after a while.
>>77438577
>Everyone knows Clark is Fucking Superman.
I dont think they are homos...
What's with Bruce Wayen and all these "wards" he keeps around?
Who the fuck is Bruce Wayen
>>77439502
kek
>>77438882
Prince Adam is a fag, he is He-Man butt-slut. The same thing applies to Cringer and Battle-cat.
>>77439613
Hal Jorden pls go
>>77439613
What if he's, y'know, one of those kinds of people?
>>77439834
Bruce Wayne may be a bachelor, but he's not a /bachelor/.
>>77437070
A bit like that Peter Parker guy...always gets the scoop on Spiderman.
You think THAT's weird, what about that Batman guy?
What, he doesn't think the rest of us are worth the effort, but as soon as rich boy Bruce Wayne returns to Gotham, suddenly the city's worth saving?
Fucking suck-up.
>>77441832
What? That's not crazy at all. Ever since that Parker guy hit the jackpot and started his company, he's made Spiderman his personal bodyguard. Obviously they're good friends
Kinda like how Iron Man used to be Stark's bodyguard
>>77438953
I kek'd
>>77438953
Parker also very obviously takes Spider-Man up the butt in return for photographs. I've seen him, he's got that gooey white stuff all over his hands and pants.
#SuperGate
>>77437204
I've never seen Clark Kent with Batman at the same time. So this is possible.
Who is Kent always chummy with? That teen sports reporter, whats his name. Oh yeah, Olsen! And Batman runs around with Robin. I bet Olsen is Robin!
Who else does Clark run around with? That Lane fashion reporter! And Batman runs around with that Batgirl!
Wow. That all fits. Clark Kent if Batman, Jimmy Olsen is Robin, and Louis Lane is Batgirl! Great job! The Chans solve another mystery.
>>77439098
No way man. Superman is way more buff and handsome than Clark Kent.
>>77439339
Bruce Wayne obviously paid them off. he is a powerful billiionare, and his local police probably wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of that. Bad for their careers. heck, Bruce might even be connected enough to hire Penguin to do some kidnapping and black mail of cops. He does have THAT KIND of money.
>>77443066
HOLD
THE
FUCKING
PHONE
WASN'T TONY STARK REVEALED TO BE IRON MAN? WHAT IF THIS PARKER BOY IS ACTUALLY SPIDER-MAN?
I heard that Bruce Wayne is actually Batman.
>>77437070
>Seems kinda fishy to me, what's his secret?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jIzHgv5Pj48
>>77445628
How is that even possible? Batman has been sighted with Bruce Wayne multiple times. D'uh!
>>77439152
This one got me.
>>77439339
Dude's clearly got issues and fills a hole in his life by adopting kids. There are worse vices.
Now, Oliver Queen....
>>77445687
Well thats what I heard. You know how rumors are.
Like that one about The Shadow really being that playboy man-about-town Lamont Cranston.
Good instincts and solid contacts, brother.
He's just a damn good reporter. Just doing his job.
>>77445542
Impossible. My sister was at a wedding recently and saw Spider-Man fighting some guys, she says saw his skin through a rip in the costume and Spider-Man was clearly black.
Does this Parker cracker look like a brother to you?
I live in Gotham and I swear Superman is Bruce Wayne. Hear me out he pretends to act like this playboy while in reality he's a huge blue boy scout.
>>77437070
Why not? I mean, if Clark Kent was in your office and there's a Superman scoop to be had, of COURSE he'd leave the office to witness/report on-site. Given that Jimmy effin' Olsen has a watch that can call Supes at any time, I wouldn't be surprised if Kent had a similar deal with Supes, albeit Kent's way more discreet than Jimmy.
>>77439098I know it's all a joke, but the guy on the right doesn't look like Superman at all. I really loved Frank's Superman.
>>77437070
He's working for Lex Luthor to find a weakness for Superman. Being a reporter is only his cover.
Mark my words.
I hate breaking this beautiful thing we have in this thread but I just realized something:Superman doesn't want Lois to know he is Superman because that is his fetish. He gets off on it. Clark is Lois' whipping boy. She treats him like dirt, ignores him, and constantly rejects his advances. But then he gets to turn around and be Superman, and be doted on and worshipped by Lois. He gets to be both the alpha and beta male, and çuck himself. He is walked over all day by a strong woman, and then gets to turn around and get all her attention and just destroy that pussy. I mean, watch the 1978 movie. He's fucking into it, man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIaF0QKtY0c
>>77437070
>Gone without anyone noticing
>Able to get every detail of the fight
>Can be where Superman is regardless of location
Clearly Clark is just a secret identity.
>>77447275
Clearly the case, slow bro
>>77439613
Keenen Ivory Wayen's brother?
>>77437070
>>*snaps neck*
>>77437070
ITS 2015 I MEAN COME ON!
>>77439122
10/10
Jeebus gripes, you muthafidgin troglodytes \
CLARK KENT IS FUCKING SUPERMAN!In the ass! They are a gay couple!
>>77447275
Well formulated.
What happened to Oliver Queen on that island?
>>77438880
I'm a photographer at the Planet, and I can tell you that's not right.Louis' ass is too amazing. Superwoman's is kind of bony. Guess flying around so much doesn't help your glutes.
He's just Superman with glasses on! What is wrong with you people!
Every physical facet of them is identical!
