This is something that I've been planning for a while. And yeah, fervent things can be said about it. I'm just going to be using the SoP banner as a signal to not to take this too seriously or get too worked up about it. I'm not going to be.
There's a ride to be had. And by ride, I mean such that may or may not include wondering why anyone would bother/some liquid courage. Four nights, four volumes. If you care to join in, come along why don't ya? If not, then wish ya well.
Now then... let's get in the mood to kick some ass.
This is-
Kick-Ass Book One: The Origin of Kick-Ass
And here we go...
Sorry narrator dude... too scared of heights.
Ooof.
That hadda hurt.
It's pages like this that makes me wonder what the real-life Dave Lizewski thinks about all of this.
>>64359809
Goddammit Dave, I have work in the morning.
>>64359809
IT BEGINS, DAVE
Now, I'm not going to say that Kick-Ass has maybe... the worst taste ever.
But I won't not-not say it.
There was no way in hell that was gonna work.
>>64359987
THERE'S NO STOPPING IT!
>>64359979
Damn then. Weigh your options clearly.
No, no man... I don't think anyone would have hoped for a lil' of that.
>>64360034
I get paid to be at work unfortunately.
Plus it's outside in the sun all day, so being hungover is not advisable.
Catch you for the next one.
I'm not the biggest X-Man fan so I'll have do be advised... did it make Buffy look like shit?
>>64360074
Next one, then.
Hey, everyone remembers Kick-Ass' THIRD friend right?
You know, the redheaded curly haired one with the glasses?
Such a memorable and important character.
>>64360107
That last panel hits eerily close to home.
Also fuck you Comic Dave, Galactus as a clout was shit.
The important thing is that he's doing this in the safety of his own bedroom.
>>64360175
Only good thing that movie brought was Norrin's voice. Rich.
Buddy, that's far and away from a perfect combo.
my body is ready
I don't even want to know WHAT "Nasty Ass" was supposed to imply.
Especially with that outfit.
>>64360247
Better be.
Oh shit is about as good as it'll get Kick-Ass.
No wait, that was worse.
Like, so much worse dude.
Abort mission.
This is just bad form.
How rude of you David.
Sliced and with a nice spread of margarine.
>tfw I liked the movies better than the comics
Always look both ways dude.
I like to call those two "the most important characters in this series"
>>64360439
That's like... a real common opinion. I think the first movie was better made in most respects, but there are parts where I prefer bits of the first volume. We'll get to that later on.
Isn't that line just the sublimiest?
Part 2:
wherein this ain't no debutante ball
He just need to walk it off.
In flagrante delicto, David.
What else?
>>64360482
Really? Any time I see the movies mentioned on /co/ they get shit on and a I see a lot of "NOT MUH COMICS".
My personal theory is that a wandering bum just jacked them.
>>64360601
Now it's my turn to say "really?". Because I see that only very rarely.
Or you're just going wacko
Yeah... those drugs are doing some amazing things, David
>>64360623
I saw it most when KA2 came out. I barely see Kick-Ass mentioned on /co/ nowadays. But I'll shut up now and let you do your thing. Thanks for the pain, by the way.
If only you hadn't gone out in a wetsuit and badgers some gangbangers!
Why, god, why?
Yep, there the redhead with glasses goes again... being a part of the group and all.
David.... you are a straight freak.
Who can say?
I know many have asked that question about you.
I will always be perplexed by how his batons stay in place.
Oh no it's the "Stepped Right out of the early 90's" Mexican Gang!
Stupid.
The answer is stupid.
Gotta love his enthusiasm.
By all accounts he should be losing this fight.
Am I the only one who hates every word that Mark Millar writes?
This is so terrible.
Luck was on his side... that and their apathy.
>>64360960
from all the kick-ass stuff i only hate kick-ass 2
>>64361015
Right, Kick-Ass 2 was just awful. The other arcs are either too incompetent to really hate... or has their moments.
I guess today it would be Instagram or something...
Part 3:
wherein he kinda falls into it...
Ahhh remember the days when you could rate those vids?
>>64361010
I liked the movie version of this scene much better - they kick the shit out of him, pull a gun on him, then he points out that they are pretty fucking stupid to try to shoot a guy live on Youtube..
It's a wet-suit.
He clearly bought it somewhere.
You mean stole a name, David.
Also, there will never be a badass version of the Star Wars kid.
>>64361139
Yeah, overall the movie was better done. I just like the climax of the comic way better.
That is the most godawful shirt I have ever seen.
Right, let's take note here.
Marty's original name was "Toddy".
Oh why David... why?
>>64360962
Kickass, with the power to beat up people while on the ground
Using his brain.
>>64361293
Surprisingly very useful power.
Useful... leaves a trail.
Whatever works.
His intentions were purely honorable.
He's going to hit you.
With his two sticks.
And hope for the best.
>>64361390
This seems like a bad idea.
>>64361420
No shit.
He didn't learn how to play a room yet.
Alright.
Here we go.
Enter: Hit-Girl.
No stopping this now I'm afraid.
>>64361180
>I just like the climax of the comic way better.
I dunno m8, i think that being blown up by a bazooka is way better thanlel mass murder.And i prefer the comics, even with the EVIL DICK scene.
She said, "Tough guys, huh?", dude in the back.
Of course. They were made of foam.
>>64361520
I liked the whole flame-thrower and just broken chair legs as opposed to the bazooka and jet-pack. Just seemed, and this is going to sound stupid, kinda goofy.
Aww... the first of many.
Part 4:
wherein they're just better.
The H stands for Hallowed.
Cutting for the very first time...
Oooh like a surgeon...
>>64361581
I remember when this comic was about what it would be like if people tried to be superheroes in the real world.
Yup, foam.
>>64361686
Innocent times... three issues ago,
She spouts some over the top rhetoric
Go Jordans!
Succinct.
Then she probably thinks she got a good deal.
She's smart.
It's more than a fetish David.
But we'll save that for the very end of this week.
That is... a really weird question.
What does this chick think about all day in class?
Well, the boy ain't right.
>>64360058
I dunno, I think some people would be a lot happier if they had someone they could blame for a loved one's death.
David couldn't cut it with the real big boys..
>>64362046
Oh, in that way then yeah, I can see it.
Did he really think there was a chance they wouldn't?
Cheadle was a complicated man.
Part 5:
wherein Kick-Ass was never alone
Enter:
Red Mist
Hey... that's an insult to season two David
Striking out in all manners of senses.
Not quite sure honesty means that, dude.
It's been awhile since I read this. I should do it again. And read it's sequels as well.
Historic meetings don't usually get held in back alleys, but they'll take it.
>>64362473
Hope you can join us all four nights then
M... I.... S... oh I get it!
David makes friends real easy
You parked in the wrong spot?
These guys may be too high for this shit.
>>64360785
I think I'll save that last panel. And maybe crop out his inner monologue.
>>64362514
It'll take that long to do them all? I've only read this volume. But I did see the second movie.Also, sorry for dragging you down with my Crossed shenanigans. I'll have to wait awhile til i start them again.
Everyone knows that Red Mist.
>>64362712
It's four volumes, so I'm just doing one a night, and no big deal.
I don't quite know if this is hilarious or not.
Let's hear it for the firemen!
Yeah!
No, it seems like the kind of thing you'd screw up
Probably poorly
Part 6:
wherein... well, shit's messed up.
Never try this without a mustache
Damn it Big Daddy, that bag's not big enough!
>>64362988
Now I'm getting feels remembering the hot cocoa.;_;
Clearly she's learning all of the basics.
>>64363025
Yeah, but this hadI just lost my daddy
He's like a more insane version of Stan Smith,
>>64361745
Was there any particular reason why she showed up?
>>64363150
They've been killing the drug dealers
That is the biggest headline ever
Go Mr. Lizewski
No, Hit-Girl.
It's actually more like the Golden Age.
David, the only way this is going to work is if you never use the word "nerdgasm" ever again.
>>64363078
>>little girl kicking thigh bones so hard they pop out of the leg
jesus, what are these guys made of, styrofoam?
she literally would not have enough mass to do that no matter how hard she kicked
"Tunk"
What a word.
>>64363338
They're putties.
>>64359809
What are some good other 'ordinary guy' type comics?
... yeah.
That about covers it all David
>>64363197
Ah alright
Yellow belly
Well funnest or most crazy.
It's not that fine a line at all.
THAT is one loaded analogy.
How could it have gone so wrong?
Right.
Cause Red Mist is a real motherfucker.
Part 7:
wherein it's time to show them what you're made of.
Always go with your gut Kick-Ass.
Unless it's wrong, which it usually is, but not like your rational mind is much better.
He's goddamn Red Mist!
1-2-3.. F-U-C
Hey, I don't think that's right.
Alas poor Hit-Girl.
>>64362963
I think Nic Cage was a great choice for Big Daddy. His kooky/eccentric behavior really shined.
Kick-Ass is just one lucky idiot.
Actually, Red Mist, yes.
Yes it sounds weird you wackjob,
>>64363764
He had some great scenes, but at time he got a bit too... cozy. That cardigan. Wooo...
>>64363764
The first movie was good and had a great cast
Hey, this is where we came in!
>>64363811
It was good, no doubt. But personally I'd always add that the second was the better Kick-Ass movie.
Oh, here it comes....
"Asshole" doesn't begin to cover it, Big Daddy.
>>64363764
Yeah, Jim Carrey as Colonel Stars was great as well.
I wonder who's going to act as Rocco in the third movie, if he's the villain and not the other guy.If they get Pacino or Jack Nicholson, i lose my shit, but i know too damn well that they won't accept those kind of roles.
WOAH!
>>64363907
It's probably going to be Uncle Ralphie who we saw already.
The ENTIRETY of Justice Forever was great in the second movie. Straight up.
i didnt even know that they made a sequel to the movie
Should have thought of that before David
Goodbye Big Daddy
>>64363966
If you really liked the first movie you probably won't like it. If you only kinda liked the movie, I say check it out.
Honestly?
This is a pretty ingenious plan Kick-Ass
Or as ingenious as you can do when you've fucked up massively
Lucky idiot.
Nobody does the stupid monologing, henchmen bit...
Who else?
Hi ho!
Wonder if Big Daddy had any "quip lectures" as part of his training curriculum.
http://forums.millarworld.tv/index.php?/topic/104836-how-the-millarworld-books-connect/
huh so parts of jupiter's legacy happened in this universe. jupiter at least.
They look like they're more or less prepared, huh?
>>64363853
I enjoyed the community superheroes aspect of it.
>>64363957
This could be you, your friend or even your family! A deranged member of /co/!
FINAL PART:
wherein THIS IS IT.
>>64364261
Yeah, Jupiter's Legacy the comic is pretty much another universe where the villains didn't win and create a "real world".
Johnny G's right.
Red Mist ain't the sort who's ready for this action.
>>64364329
Kick-Ass and JL are the only millarverse books ive read. oh and mph which is good so far. everything else he wrote seemed too edge for me
>>64363853
>But personally I'd always add that the second was the better Kick-Ass movie.
Probably, for someone who didn't read the comics, but my autism can't forgive it for botching 3 of the 4 most important plot points in 3 like it was nothing. And then adding another ridiculous one at the end.
Good point, Kick-Ass.
>>64364397
You ain't reading Starlight? That comic is pure gold. It's great Flash Gordon/The Incredibles fun.
>>64364428
shit i forgot starlight was him. yeah im reading that.
HERE WE GOOOO
>>64364424
Oh yeah, that's understandable. It'll make doing KA3 a bitch
I'll just pace around my house and hope to god this 404s before I get a chance to read it
>>64364379
is that cocaine
Let it rain.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7A8e2_GZR-M
>>64364452
How about Superior? It's Superman meets Captain Marvel. It's pretty neat.
>>64364507
no. i think that came out before i started reading comics a bunch beyond marvel/dc
That last panel will never not be awe-inspiring.
>>64364503
No. It's a secret formula. Created by scientist.
Let it be known.
Red Mist brought a gun to a stick fight. AND LOST LIKE A LIL' PUNK.
Oh that was all kinds of pathetic.
>>64363338
It's a comic.
She literally would not have any of the strength, will or agility to do any of the stuff she is doing. That's the fun thing about comics, they let us use this thing called imagination.
Whatever she's on.... it's a hell of a drug
Next time get some henchmen made of real flesh and bone.
Oh, Johnny G....
You got that backward my friend.
I'm not gonna lie, I preferred the final battle at the end of the first movie. I understand that what happened to Hit-Girl in the comic was more of a reality ensues moment, but watching Mark Strong whup some ass happened to be abit of a highlight for me. Especially when that first kick came out of nowhere considering it was the last person you expected it from.
>>64364690
If she was trained since she was 4, the she would. Except for the strength part, but who needs strenght when you're sanic fast.
It's a nitpick... but Tunk would have been neat to have in the movie.
>>64364817
That's cool man, cause I ain't gonna lie either. I just like this one a lot more since it was just a straight raid.
>>64364817
Same. I feel as though all of this is really anticlimatic.
Also, no hot cocoa scene.
Neither can anyone else Kick-Ass.
>>64364816
>IN THE FUCKING TUNK
I can't believe it took me over three years to realize that Tunk actually became a thing.
This is the start of a beautiful friendship.
>>64364882
This was as good as the cocoa scene, I thought.
Good ol' gang violence scapegoat
>>64364928
Hahahaha, no kidding? That's great man. Glad you finally got it.
We'll get more of that soon enough.
>>64364981
Yeah, i read it twice(i don't even remember why did i read it the second time), but only now actually paid attention to it. I feel silly now.
Ahh this scene.
This goddamn scene. I'll just let it speak for itself.
What did ya think was gonna happen David?
>>64365049
I noticed it straight off and that's probably when I thought "this mini has been more stupid than not, but how can I really hate it now?"
He's about to make some kind of history.
Not this douche again...
Didn't the guy who said that die?
Kinda bad luck charm quote.
That's the end of our first night. I'd like to thank those who made it through.
>>64365106
>those last two panels
TOMORROW:
THE DIARY OF HIT-GIRL
See you then
>>64364851
>If she was trained since she was 4, the she would.
No. The only thing you'd end up with if you tried that shit is a very very fucked up daughter who would end up institutionalized and hating you for destroying their childhood.
>who needs strenght when you're sanic fast.
Anyone who wants to kill someone.
I realize this is /co/ and all, so I feel like I'm telling a kid that santa doesn't exist by explaining that your comic isn't real but that it's ok to play imagine because it's fun. Stop arguing, it's a COMIC. It's not a bad thing that they make things up, but please realize that it's not real life.
>>64365233
Thanks, OP. It's funny because I actually have the tpb on my shelf, but reading it on an anonymous image board somehow makes it 10x more entertaining.
>>64365383
Cause reading with a group induces a lot of lively comments.
OP's a pretty cool guy, thanks for the storytime bro.
>>64365141
I preferred when Dave got his temporary happy ending.
>>64365471
No problem. I love SoPs
>>64365503
Eh, I like that David has to earn that shit.
Anyway, yeah not Kick-Ass 2 tomorrow, but the Hit-Girl mini. Chrono-logical order.
>>64365354
Hey, i ain't saying that she could actually do what is depicted in this comic, actually implying that a 10yo could masterfully use two swords and guns, and also break bones like it's nothing it's just too damn silly.
But a 10yo being agile and knowing martial arts really well? That's not as unlikely as the above stuff.
that was ridiculous, thanks for posting Dave!
>>64365748
Not a problem. Personally the HG mini is my favorite of the four volumes. It's just so ridiculous as well.
>>64359809
I do not have time to read this now could some kind anon bump this for the next 12 hours?
>>64361664
>The H stands for Hallowed.
Huh, learn something new every day.
>>64367180
Thanks for the storytime Dave.
Does anyone have the links for part 3 though? I don't know if I can wait and have been wanting to read through the final three issues for abit.
>>64365233
Chris was in the panel where they tortured Kickass and he admitted his identity. So is that not Chris in the books?
Thanks OP. I didn't want to have to spend my money for this,
>>64369571
But that -is- Chris, how do you thinkhe knows to go to Kathy's neighborhood in thinking they have a thing together?
Thank you OP, this was great!
>>64370921
But why is he saying he'll find out who Kick ass is when he already knows
>>64367180
What are some other 'realistic world/no superpowers' series that you know of?
>>64365106
I feel like Dave would have kicked that kids ass. I mean Dave has dealt with electro-nuts and still beaten full grown men down. The thing about beating people up is the more you do it the better you become and damn if he hasn't been beating some faggots up.
>>64371596
You find out in the Hit Girl mini. It answers your question.
>>64362626
Bet they're listing to the Batman soundtrack
Thanks OP!
>>64364261
Decided to create a graph version of that explanation.
So, spoiler alert for those who haven't finished Kick-Ass.
