have you ever fucked food?
I fucked a banana peel once
>>7637918
i always appreciate being able to share things like this
so ive fucked a few bits of food, the best being a cherry pie. i felt a little bad wasting it since i love cherry pie but the eventual cum added a lot of flavor to it, which ill get into later. the texture on the inside was just right, if youve ever fucked a guy whos ass was full of shit then youd know the feeling. its really smooth and squishy and manages to grip you just right. i made sure it was still a little warm for the sensation, but by the time i came it was just body heat keeping it that way. ive tried a well made cake too, but even as smooth and nice as i could make it the crumby nature of it made it il suited. also too sweet for cum to really affect the flavor as much. donuts are also really nice, ive used on as a sort of onahole and managed to get off, it was chocolate iced. the texture was a little rough and it took a while to get off but it was passable. the chocolate donut had one hge advantage though, the slightly bitter and salty nature of my cum made it taste amazing. even now that i dont have testicles any chance i get i make sure to have a guy im with cum on one for me so i can have the flavor again, its like salted chocolates but way better because you know youre being a degenerate fuck.
tl;dr cherry pie feels good on your dick, cum tastes great on chocolate donuts.
>>7637962
I've tried this, but my dick was too big for the average peel
I couldn't do it without ripping the peel, and by that point I might have well have just done it by hand
>>7637968
You can just wrap the peel around your dick and fap with it
Carrot in butthole
despite what you would expect, a slice of ham feels better on the penis than roast beef
>>7637918
never had sex with food but I did consume almost an entire container of body chocolate by mistake as a 7 or 8 year old
/r/ing the watermelon guy
>>7637963
/pol/ was right
>>7637918
No, but always had a desire to fuck the centre of a cinnamon bun.
>>7638102
I don't think you mean me but I've fucked a watermelon before. I did it in front of a crowd and as my own idea, not on a bet or anything. I made a hole in the flesh with my fingers. It was frustrating because there was no 'give' - it wasn't supple. I came in it but only after I got a girl to make out with me while I was doing it.
I used this method a few times in junior high:
>get empty pringles tube, paper towel and sliced deli meats
>microwave meats to desired temperature
>full 3/4 of pringles tube loosely with wadded paper towel or tissue, place heated meats in reminding space of tube
>fuck tube
Cover up meat in plastic wrap if you still want to eat it I guess
>>7638577
I don't have the screencap but basically this one guy was finding the best way to fuck a melon and invited anon and some other guys to his show where he demonstrated the best way to fuck one or something. He stuck a vibrator in part of the melon and fucked a hole in the melon. The vibrations from the vibrator and him fucking it made it explode and he came at the same time.
>>7638613
That sounds awesome
>>7637963
>but the eventual cum added a lot of flavor to it, which ill get into later.
stopped reading there
This is fucking bullshit
I make a perfectly good thread about the nature of feederism and I get banned but this shit is okay
Fuck this planet
>>7638675
Pears are GOAT
>>7638707
>MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
>>7637918
I stuck a frozen sausage up my ass when I was about 10 or 11 dunno why I just did.
>>7639504
so u cud say the food fucked me
>>7638083
I heard about the ham thing but always thought it was a meme.
What does it add to the experience?
Can I use boloney instead?
>>7637918
Is it possible to catch a fish or kill a chicken and heat it until its right and then pleasure yourself with it?
I think I heard something about a fish that sucked your dick some years ago but forgot
>>7638707
cry me a fucking river of queer tears faggot
>>7637968
So how do you get an intact peel? You gotta rip it to get the banana out.
>>7637963
i want you to know this is the first post ive ever read on /ck/
>>7637963
>if youve ever fucked a guy whos ass was full of shit then youd know the feeling
>>7637963
>even now that i dont have testicles
Are you the guy from /r9k/ who cut out his balls?
>>7638667
hey, me too
>>7637962
Reminds me of that cap where the guy is only able to get off to banana peels.
>this thread
>>7637963
>>7638675
I want to ____ that pear!
would a two hard boiled eggs up the bum count as fucking them?
tried to fuck a bit of salmon once
Never fucked food but stuck bubble gum to my dick as a child
>>7637962
I couldn't get that to work.
>>7642394
It would count as them fucking you
>>7642692
>>7639556
1. Peel banana 3/4s down
2. Remove banana from peel
3. Insert penis in banana
4. Wrap the peeled banana around your dick as if you were rebuilding the banana peel around a banana
5. Grab it midway with your hand
6. Fuck it
You can help yourself with a rubber band so the peel doesn't get too distorted
I knew one guy who got caught fucking a slice of elio's pizza while watching the grind on mtv
another guy fucked a water melon and then sliced it up and handed out to black people on martin luther king day
>this thread
>>7637963
I love you Mistress
>>7637963
jesus help us
Tomato heated it up in a microwave went to town
I tried fucking a jar of peanut butter. It was no good.
People used to go on about giving boyfriends "grapefruit blowjobs," so I tried doing it on myself to find out what it was like. I thought it would burn, but it didn't. It didn't feel as amazing as everybody claimed it did, either. It was boring. I ended up giving up on the grapefruit and finishing off with my hand.
The best one was a squid tube. It felt nice, but cleaning up afterwards was disgusting.
>>7637918
Fucked a banana peel. More trouble than it's really worth 2bh
I've at least fucked a slice of apple pie.
It was meh.
I fucked myself with a carrot before.
I've came on many different foods and beverages which I then would eat (if I didn't puss out).
It's practically a fetish at this point.
>>7637963
skype?
>>7643353
If it's not erect you're not really fucking.
>>7638669
One time on ambien I took a piece of bread and spread a good amount of butter on it and tried to Jack off with it. I really wish I was joking
>>7637963
>Even now that I don't have testicles
I don't know why this is what I care about, but explain please.
>>7637918
Yes and i'm not proud of it but whatever it was good.
Banana peel is the easiest setup.
After i would put melons and butter bread.
Then would come huge potatos and cucumbers.
The last one would be raw meet since its pretty weird to set up for me.
In pleasure order
>raw meat
>melon
>potato
>butter bread
>water melon
>banapeel
>cucumber
>>7638667
>he came to this thread for serious discussion
>>7637918
only whatever that weird stuff was in your moms mouth that one time
in Soviet Russia food fuck you
>>7637918
@11:59
https://youtu.be/N99Ps4nLBGU
>>7644357
Based Proxy
>>7643515
Do you have any idea how cold a pumpkin is on the inside
It was awful
Anyone tried marshmallows?
>>7637963
>if youve ever fucked a guy in the ass full of shit youd know the feeling
>>7637918
I fuck almost everything I eat.
>>7637963
Thank you for sharing
>>7645838
That's actually the part that gives him away as making things up. Fucking a person who hasn't had an enema feels nothing like what he describes. And most people who have fooled around with anal, whether with a female or male, will have had a period of inexperience in which they discovered what it's like to unexpectedly coax a colon to divulge its treasures.
>>7646664
This
One time I fucked my ass w/o emptying first and it was as far as it can be from that description
