always steal a parm or 2.
uhm u're honky
Every time I go to the supermarket I pocket either a fancy small round cheese, a teewurst or a Ritter chocolate
>be me, have kleptomania anyway
A lot of it. At the least a lot isn't paid at it's actual price. Before some cashierfag comes in saying they TOTALLY ALWAYS SEE when you ring something up as something else at self check out, like they always do in these threads:
the self checkouts at my local store never have supervisors watching unless it's busy. There's usually even maybe one person on duty at the open cash register, if there is one. And they certainly have absolutely no loss prevention folks.
fav is rolling out with asparagus rung up as cabbage. 42¢ a lb cabbage? Well that lb of asparagus is now 42¢.
ITT anti-social poorfags think they're Robin Hood
>>7607468
I always ring up bananas instead at the self checkout
>>7607487
well, it's one sure-fire way to stretch your welfare monies amirite friends?
>>7607491
8 dollar parms for 250g's is outrageous. and I refuse to use the 3 dollar shaker things
>>7607496
I paid $5.50 at a supermarket for a 250g parm yesterday, and that's in ozbucks
Where are you that it costs $8?
I steal those champagne style bottles of quebec beer from stores in winter by shoving them up my sleeves.
>>7607498
toronto
>>7607484
That's gotta be some rancid piss you have
>>7607643
You stop noticing it really
>>7607482
German?
>>7607487
Kek
>>7607468
Ginger. I never need more than a small knob so i just break off a piece and either pocket it or just leave it in the cart
>>7607496
8 bucks is normal for the real thing. What are you, Italian or something?
>>7608020
actually i am lol.
I often pocket a candy bar to eat in the car
I think im gonna fucking die real soon so I want to poison my mom any ideas on how to cook some up? :)
>>7607722
Nope, Chilean.
Just came back from the supermarket, pocketed $6 worth of goat cheese. Hot damn this shit's expensive, it's around 200 grs
I was a cashier and frothing idiots would accidentally leave shit in their carts
I would often not bother charging them for it because fuck my gay job
Stealing is still retarded though
>>7608246
>people who don't make your life easy are idiots
You know your inventory auditor thinks you're an idiot
>>7607468
Ketchup
When ever I get food to go, I always ask for "a lot" of ketchup
>>7607468
I've never stolen anything but I can't lie, parm has been the hardest to resist. It's so expensive but its so good. And it's small....
>>7608302
I said no such thing
>>7608358
You said fucking idiots leave things in their cart.
To be honest it's probably smart to leave something in your cart if that means the cashier let's you take it for free.
>>7608030
fair enough.
>>7608043
Take your pick from any of Ja/ck/s recipes
I got caught shoplifting like 4 € worth of food at Aldi once and haven't done it since then. Whenever you can weigh your own vegetables (or candy), I always only weigh half of it or something and I get away with it all the time.
>>7608508
Woah woah woah, Aldi's has anything by weight or a self checkout? Doesn't sound like them. Surely you pull this somewhere else? Aldi's runs a tight ship.
i usually grab spices
>>7607468
I've been to subway once in my life, and accidentally stole some guy's sandwich, and I was too scared to ever go back in just in case I was recognised as the sandwich thief, so I guess that counts.
Yeah uh, I don't steal things.
Part of at least attempting a decent society is not being a fuckhead.
>this generation pocketing shit because it's small and easy to get away with
>often very expensive to the store
Well that's why you're getting a fucking walmart.
HOLY shit i'm not the only one who steals cheese? i love getting that balderson 3 year old aged cheddar for all your cheese thieves out there i recommend you get it. you literally have nothing to lose. don't get the smoked cheddar though it's awful
>>7609330
Knowing this now I'm going to start reading my local paper's crime reports for cheese thieves. Not that I think you'll get caught, but I somehow need it in my life for a cheese theft to be in the crime report.
>>7608385
They do, they drool all over themselves and are really oblivious. Most people will point it out, I didn't care. You're probably right, but most people have/had a little less apathy in the workplace. What makes my life easier is if they look and remember to put all the stuff they threw into their cart on the belt for the most part, not leaving shit in the cart
Don't blow up about nothing dude, it's weird
>>7609335
There was a cheese theft in my hometown once. The paper advised anyone offered blocks of a certain brand of cheddar door to door to call the police station
>>7609364
sounds stupid but some cheese is big money
you steal a few wheels of parmesean there is black market value of thousands on that
Is cheese theft common? I don't shoplift but when I'm looking at that cheese case... ....... ..............................
I mean it's so small and delicious and expensive............ I can't justify spending a bunch of money on delicious cheeses............ Fuggggg
I'm scared I'm going to give in one day.
>>7609384
Cheese was pic related
How do you guys get away with stealing cheese when all the good cheese is usually I'm a very open spot
Teach me your ways almighty cheese theifs of the market
>>7609403
>take the cheese from the open spot
>go to a closed spot
>conceal cheese
>buy items from closed spot
>leave
wew lad
>working part time job at supermarket
>fuckhead and his two retarded buddies come to my till
>they put down one childrens pack of haribos
>between three of them
>pockets are bulging with shit
>signal security whilst serving them
>they leave with grins on their faces
>they get stopped and taken into the back
>all of them turn paper white whilst begging security not to call the cops on them
>one of them started crying
happens all the time, if you're going to steal put some fucking effort into it anons.
>>7609415
Well that's the obvious bit now what are the tricks and tips
>>7609429
Ex cashier here where did you work that had a security signal
>>7609400
that's the hydro of queso
>>7609432
UK Supermaket chain, we had these little devices we had to wear that when activated would notify security that we needed assistance. Most people wore them around their necks so it's obvious as fuck when you set it off. I just put it in my pocket and activated it when the customers aren't looking. Worked pretty well except when the fucking early shift cunts didn't plug them into the charger after they used them.
>>7609306
So you're that guy all those wanted signs at subway are for.
>>7608043
Just fucking strangle her like a real man, you fucking pussy
When making guac or pico I usually pocket 2 jalapenos and limes but buy the cilantro. Sometimes when I just need only 1 set of spice I don't have but its outrageously expensive I pocket the packet or bottle of spice.
The FBI is now monitoring this thread.
>>7609429
Once when I was a kid I went to a candy stand with some friends and I chose some gum that the clerk was putting on a bag which took a while because I'm picky.
When we got a couple blocks away one of my friends opened his bag and showed me a couple family size chocolates he stole. Everyone wanted some but my friends are it and gave me some becuase I distracted the guy
