ITT: Cool fun trendy healthy alternatives to fatty foods
>>7878400
that doesn't look very appetizing at all
>>7878400
GET THE FUCK OUT FAG
fuckin wa la
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yXknpvIGdCQ
Someone please post that copypasta from about the mom making that fruit pizza but the teenage daughter ended up just ordering a regular pizza.
>>7878400
Melon
>>7878447
They should serve this cake at Alton Sterling's funeral.
>cut $3 worth of fruit
>Proceed to charge $10+ for it
People actually buy it?
>>7878400
>Cool
>Fun
>Trendy
>Alternatives
Get out
>>7878400
I love me some 'lon 'za
>fruits
>healthy
>>7878447
Why do people keep letting retards handle knives? I thought this was common sense by now.
>>7878592
Sugar is not unhealthy
>>7878622
>Sugar is not unhealthy
>>7878592
Who the hell eats a whole cup of blackberries at a time? People who want their shit to have more shrapnel than a hand-grenade?
>>7878646
Do you really think that guy is eating a lot of fruits?
>>7878622
>>7878400
Replacement for maple syrup:
1 Bag of Chewing Tobacco
2 glass jars/bottles (Plastic will work too)
a bandanna/handkerchief
NOTE: The chew cannot be a "Mild" or "Extra Smooth" or flavored kind. It should be regular chewing tobacco.
NOTE #2: Be sure to wear latex or plastic gloves when handling. It's not good to touch it a lot.
Procedure: Put a wad of chew in one jar (or bottle as the case may be) and add just enough water to cover it. Cap the jar, shake it a couple times, and let sit overnight. In the morning, open the jar and place the bandanna over the mouth. Holding on to the bandanna as well as the jar, dump the contents into the other jar. The liquid will pass through the bandanna, and the wad will sit there. Separate the jar and the bandanna and squeeze the rest of the ball of chew through the bandanna to strain out the remaining liquid in the second jar. Discard the bandanna (with the ball of chew), first jar, and the gloves. You now have a jar containing nothing but nasty brown liquid. Sit this jar in the sun for several hours, or even all day if necessary. Over time, the water will evaporate out and the liquid will become more viscous. When it is at a consistency a little thinner than maple syrup, put it in a container (or use the jar you have) and store.
>>7878646
Americans are fat because of overconsumption of fat, especially animal fat. Sugar has no bearing on the fatness of Americans.
You would be hard-pressed to find a single American on a low-fat high-sugar diet. These people do not exist.
Sugar is not unhealthy: facts that make Americans uncomfortable.
If you actually cared to look at the facts - even a casual Google search is enough - cheese consumption is up, meat consumption is up, vegetable consumption is down - since 1960.
Sugar consumption is up since 1960 - but sugar consumption has increased 3 times more between 1820 and 1920 than between 1960 and 2000. The rate of increase for sugar consumption has slowed down dramatically in the 20th century.
>>7878667
Also, sugar consumption as percentage of energy intake has increased very little since 1960. It has increased incredibly quickly in the 19th century. People in the 19th century did not become obese and did not develop diabetes, all the while they were loading up on sugar, pouring it into coffee, tea, and eating industrially processed SWEETS (sweets are LOW-FAT sugar-based snacks, not fucking deep-fried donuts and buttered chocolate)
>>7878411
I laughed too hard at this
>>7878400
>All that sugar while living a sedentary life.
Im guessing youre going to loose the left foot first.
>>7878411
this comment is better than this whole thread
>>7878400
Hat will be 15.25 plus tip
>>7878573
that's literally exactly the standard mark up for a resturant
>>7878662
Ok so if anyone is stupid enough to believe this troll
Don't do it you'll kill yourself
>>7878573
Well it's vegan 'za
>>7878592
I sure do love me my cup of bananas in the morning
>>7878662
>>7878706
I have been doing this for years. It's not as good as real maple syrup but it beats Mrs Butterworth. When I first learned about this trick I thought it was bs as well but don't knock it till you try it. I prefer Redman over beech nut, has a nice honey flavor with just a hint of cinnamon.
>>7878705
Typically the restaurant would do more with the ingredients than spend 5 seconds cutting it
I am italian and what is dis
>>7878511
Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”
>>7878769
this teebeeyetch
>>7878769
I read all that shit in one sentence, i nearly died.
Fun read tho
>>7878769
the icuckoldry is strong with this family
>>7878592
>implying fat people get fat off fruit
>implying fructose accompanied with water and fiber is equivalent to injecting sucrose straight into your asshole
>>7878592
Why the fuck would anyone measure fruit in volume?
Fucking Americans
>>7878769
>>>/tumblr/
>>7878769
I was gonna ask for this copy pasta cus i was reminded by OP pic. thanks for posting
>>7878826
>not drinking your apples
Seriously though, measuring shit like that in cups is the most obnoxious thing.
>>7878769
hits too close to home tbqh
>>7878667
that's a picture of a canadian
>>7878963
how do you know
>>7878970
internet detectives
>>7878982
did you seriously have this gif ready to go
>>7878998
yeah this is an imageboard and I have images ready for my posts
>>7879014
kys my man
>>7879018
you're the one that asked why I knew
>>7879025
stop replying to me
ok
This thread is shit but I got inspired by this joke picture, I cut half a cucumber into 8 medium thick slices that I put cheese and ham on, and some onion salt on top. No carbs, very fresh.
>>7879040
Saved for future food gore threads.
Thanks my man.
>>7878809
>hi i dont know how the glucose cycle works.
You ignorant swine.
>>7879065
sauce on that pic?
![inherent-vice-joanna-newsom[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/289ZHxZ.jpg "inherent-vice-joanna-newsom[1].jpg")
>>7878769
>because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper
every time
>>7879065
is that manga ever starting up again?
>>7879040
The horror, the horror!
>>7878982
It's an American tourist, Canadians are slanty eyed
>>7878769
Awesome read.
>got a chuckle out from the dimwitted dad, i bet he has the mouth crooked like a fucking oyster
>felt sad for the mom
>>7878447
God damn this is infuriating to watch, how are they so awkward when they've apparently got a professionally stocked kitchen?
>cuts one end off with their arms crossed instead of just spinning it around
>jam the template into it for no reason, can't get it out later
>constantly hesitating because a circle is a really difficult shape
>dragging the giant knife towards themselves
>ice like they've never seen a cake before
>just wander off mid video for a minute and a half
>pathetically half hearted nut coating
>let's just jam some strawberry stalks in
>fuck where does this kiwi slice go
>>7878592
>sugar cubes
Rly?
>>7878447
that watermelon is total dogshit. no flavor at all.
>>7878447
This is way more disappointing then I thought it would be. I expected crap and was surprised it was worse than that.
>>7878400
How is this an "alternative" they're is literally nothing simular about this to pizza than how it looks. If I want a healthy alternative to something, then I want something has the same or similar taste but with fewer calories/fat. Not something that will in no way taste like that you want, but just looks cute. Fucking retarded.
>>7879295
If you want it to be similar, you want a substitute.
>>7878667
>Americans are fat because of overconsumption of fat
Stopped reading there. Try getting your nutritional knowledge from somewhere outside a women's health magazine.
>>7879040
When I posted that someone thought it looked tasty.
>>7879040
Looks okay to me, I like cucumbers tho
>>7879305
Yes, that's literally a synonym for "alternative" you fucking illiterate
>>7878662
You made a thread about this yesterday. It wasn't funny then, and it's not funny now.
>>7879234
the almond on the sides was insane too
at first it looked like they wanted to just have it on the side and not the footer frosting, but then gave up after completely fucking it up
>>7879040
haha i got this from buff dudes lol
>>7879040
This would be ok if you sliced it and made it a party snack or something
>>7879701
Substitutle is neutral. alternative is nearly always political in usage.
>>7878667
Fat doesn't make you fat stupid. Its high.amounts of calories and lack of activity.
Which is why a lot of Americans are fat.
>>7879030
i'll reply to whomever I want to sir
>>7878592
How many spoons of HFCS in each serving?
>>7878769
>overachiever
>B+
What the fuck.
Not straight As?
>>7880414
No it isn't
>>7878769
Copy pasta kino
>>7878447
>cake video
>doesn't show pic of a slice afterwards
Fuck right off
>>7878400
https://youtu.be/1saW5_azuSE
>>7881048
Are you German?
>>7878982
I live in Canada, I've only ever seen one man and one woman this fat here. I've traveled to the states for work, I see people this fat nearly every day, it's absolutely sickening how common they are.
>>7881048
That is the most unripe watermelon I've ever seen.
>>7881720
I read that as "unique" watermelon, so I watched the whole video almost twice back to back trying to figure out why the watermelon was so unique
>>7878592
Out ketotard.
>>7879040
cucumber and ham is a good combination, cream cheese on it, cutting the center, not pelling or cuting it thin is retarded but now i want a salad for dinner tho
>>7881748
well its vegan so they have to make it as shitty as posible
>>7881048
>awkwardly cuts water melon on an unstable serving platter.
>cuts it into 8ths
>places fruit on top of it
I must have missed something here.
>>7879040
Turkey, Dijon mustard, and leaf lettuce all wrapped up is pretty good and low-carb/calorie too, family
>>7878646
My that logic vitamin A is unhealthy. Everything is unhealthy in high doses.
>>7882148
Cyanide is not unhealthy with that same proviso.
>>7879040
i would eat this in a flash
most of my daily consumption of food consists of reaching into the fridge for a green thing, a piece of meat or cheese and dipping the handful into some kind of dressing
>>7878662
Is this /ck/'s way of making crystals?
For anyone wondering, this produces pure nicotine, which is lethal in nanogram doses.
>>7879393
This, holy shit.
>>7878400
I'd rather just eat the fruit in itself or in fruit salad form.
I don't know why idiots that are clearly inferior since they can't enjoy fruit go to these lenghts to try and make it appealing. Just eat the damn fruit or not for fucks sake
>>7878769
10/10, I'd hazard this is biography though, too nuanced in the details. I'm sorry you had your birthday ruined and your mom had a sad.
>>7878400
>Craving pizza
>Some guy suggests eating waterman sliced up like a pizza instead
Yeah, that would really satiate the cravings.
>>7880431
We're fat because the sad fact is despite how "exceptional" we are, there's a lot of poverty, consequently we eat a lot of pre-prepared meals from "the wall-mart" and fast food because it's a cheap and quick meal
>>7883795
>>7879393
Try making an actual argument.
Most women's health magazine demonize carbohydrates day in day out. "Fat is fine" is momscience, "eat butter" is what it said on Time magazine a while back. You are momscience. "The sugar conspiracy" is what the Guardian ran with not long ago. Low-carb is the most popular diet program in the United States. You are momscience.
I'm really investing more effort here than I really should.
>>7878653
It does though. Coke is a great marinate for pork.
And have you ever had a cola roast? Delicious.
>>7880885
a young white boy in suburbia getting straight B+ in 4th grade probably counts as overachieving
the same getting straight As is the child prodigy
>>7881048
>he actually cut it into 8ths instead of cutting it in half twice, then cutting those four quarter pieces in half
why
at least they timelapsed this one
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCskX7vthQ4
>>7883930
Fat is fine as long as it isn't transfats and you're eating moderate amount. It's the overconsumption of kcals that causes weight gain. Granted, fats are usually very calorie dense, but saying fat is the only reason people are overweight is like saying your mom dropping you on your head is the only reason I think you're retarded.
>>7878561
LOL
>>7878982
Canadians on suicide watch
>>7878447
This will taste so disappointing and bland.
>>7878769
>because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper
>>7883930
You clearly have no idea how nutrition works. Please educate yourself before posting again.
>>7879040
9/11 would eat asap
