>Be me, 20 year old grillfag
>Grandparents are coming over and mom has bought me ribs to prepare
>Soak cedar planks, rub/sauce these fuckers, slap them onto my gas grill (ran out of charcoal, plus easier to control) set up my smoker and turn the temperature low so they turn out nice and tender
>Close the lid and forget about them
>Dad keeps asking me when they'll be done. Clearly irritable from hunger.
>Assure him multiple times that they'll be done about when grandparents arrive
>Go and do things around the house for about 5 hours
>Come back just to take a quick look at about 3/4 of the way
>The temperature gauge is more than 200F higher than what it should be
>"OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK?!"
>All the burners are turned to about 80%
>I left it with 2 burners at maybe 20%
>Open grill and try to cut the ribs
>May as well have come from Goodyear how tough and black they were. Completely fucking ruined.
>Dad comes back "Are they done yet? I turned it up"
>mfw
>That was the only time I ever yelled at my father
>Grandparents come and now I have nothing to serve them
Your father is a cuck
made a pumpkin cheesecake, pull it out of the oven, the motherfucker collapses on the way to the fridge
clean random items, shelves, floor, and grate of cheesecake bits
>>7789517
How about you try being less of an ungrateful little shit
>asking if they're done 5 hours from dinner time
I'd be rustled too anon. At least they're buying you good product.
my older brother smacked a bowl of macaroni and cheese into my face while i was walking to my room with it and i got so mad i hyperventilated and threw up
>>7789669
I'm sorry anon, but that's fucking hilarious to picture
>>7789669
Lmao
>>7789669
Along that vein
>back in high school
>some people are acting like fags attempting to bully me/my friends
>go to caffeteria and get steaming hot food and coffee
>one of them tries to trip me when I go past them
>I get "tripped" and "drop" my food right in his face
>the steaming hot coffee goes all over his pants
>he gets third degree burns to the face and dick
>and also, one he's finally well enough to go back to school, suspended (they reviewed the security camera footage after trying to blame it on me)
>>7789517
>Be me, 20 year old grillfag
Why do you feel the need to tell us you're a girl?
>>7789684
reddit.
>>7789669
Hahaha. I hope this is real
>>7789619
>mom asks him to cook ribs for grandparents
>impatient pleb dad fucks up
Op ungrateful how?
>>7789682
>coffee
>high school cafeteria
they had coffee for the students to have?
where were the cigarette machines located?
>>7789682
>full thickness burns
>from cafeteria coffee
Is this the real life?
No, it's just fantasy
Caught in a big lie
Out of touch with reality
Fuck you and your lies
It's you we despise you seeee
You're just a dumb cunt
Lying for sympathy
Easy come, easy go
A little lie and we all know
Anyway your lies blow
Doesn't really matter to meee
>>7789714
reddit.
>>7789710
Outside of america, coffee is basically considered normal for people above 15.
Also the cafeteria at our high school was actually bretty good, a long as you avoided the obviously shitty items.
>>7789688
it is. the reason i got so upset was actually because he had done it several times before and because i am a severe autist with retard rage. he also used to squirt ketchup on my food at cookouts if i left my plate alone and once i smashed everything in the plate with my fists, potato salad, hamburger, corn and stuff like a crazed neanderthal and my dad had to pull me away from the table and thrashing like a mental patient. i remember how shocked my aunt looked but my brother and my little cousin were just dying laughing.
>>7789710
Is coffee not permitted in American schools?
>Be me
>live on my own
>parents come over
>prepare dinner
>nothing special, just some Spaghetti Bolognese because my father likes them
>currently boiling water, sauce is also under control and perfectly spiced
>suddenly get a call
>tell father to put Spaghetti inside when water is boiling
>tell him not to add anything else
>leave room to answer the call because it is very noisy
>come back five minutes later
>oshit.png
>see oil swimming in noodle water with the noodles inside
>empty Ketchup bottle next to sauce
>I don't even buy Ketchup
>>7789715
That's an awfully spicy comeback kiddo
>>7789752
Coffee is kind of an adult beverage in the us. It may not be restricted to schools (although it probably is) but schools below the college level don't seem to serve it at all.
>>7789752
No.
>>7789752
It was sold at my school. Don't listen to those other dopes.
>>7789819
Balderdash
>>7789517
>dad doesnt want me cooking
>without being able to cook im left eating nothing but fast food and whatever dad feels like cooking
>he plays dumb, sorry anon, its not like i dont want you cooking is that all my cooking tools are expensive you know?
>find moms old pan burriend in a mountain of shit, shittyest, cheapest pan in the entire world
>happy i get to eat like a normal human being
>cook a couple of times and then dad "accidentally" puts it to the higest temperature and then inmidiately in ice cold water
>it falls appart, the handle separated and i cant use it without a ton of wierd smoke evrywhere
>back to eating subways daily sub for ten mreals a week
>absolutely nothing i can do about it
>>7789877
Buy a pan you fucking nonce.
>>7789682
kek, i was a badass as a kid, went into a class of older kids and told them to throw their fucking garbage out after lunch because we were getting blamed from the classroom being disgusting, the thought it would be funny to collect all the garbage into a bag and give it to me in response so i grabbed the bag and smashed it in the kids head, he was covered with different sauces and bits of food. They went outside and he changed to another shirt he had in his locker and came back for revenge with more garbage to do the same to me except i caught it and bashed it in his face again and this time he had no more clean clothes. He went to complain to the secretary but everyone knew he was an asshole so they sided with me
>>7789881
not allowed to because he needs the space for everything, i tried. I dont live with him anymore tho
>>7789726
Why don't you spazz out on him? A flying autistic attack to his balls will make him reluctant to do it again ?
It worked for me as an autistic child.
>>7789752
It was available when I went to school. But schools in the US are very regional. Even schools within the se city/state can have wildly different rules.
>>7789726
Haha damn dude you're that one retarded family member that nobody gives a fuck about and who is actively messed with by the cousins. You're like that one family member that only his parents stand up for.
>>7789919
I'm guessing you're that one family member also.
>>7789714
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liebeck_v._McDonald%27s_Restaurants
>>7789887
XDXXXDDDXDD Freaking epic man your a bad***
>>7789517
The entire 5 years I cooked at a country club. All of the wait staff were either children of members or rich kids who moved into town for college. None of them knew the menu or cared to learn it. This included the dumb cunt who was the FOH manager.
Got a lot of impossible requests like "can you smoke my salmon over wood chips?" or "can they make a brownie?" Followed by a pissed off FOH manager demanding to know why I can't make JUST ONE BROWNIE or why I can't go out back, fire up our giant smoker meant for huge events all to smoke a single salmon fillet.
Also, putting on huge dinners where the members are told they have to make reservations so the chef knows how much food to order/prepare. Ten people make reservations, 250 show up. Or the reverse where we have 150-200 reservations and 30 people show up.
>About 15 years ago
>8th grade I made a chocolate cake for my class
> (honestly it was way too fucking rich and a single bite was sufficient, but I was a kid, what did I know)
>Had about half of it left at end of day
>Waiting to get picked up
>shooting the shit with friend
>some ass got in an argument with me
>instead of using words fucker picks up some mulch and shoved it in my cake
> pure fucking rage boils over faster than Turkish coffee
> within half a second of him doing that I punch the fucker in the jaw
> didn't even contemplate it, did it at reflex speeds
He left immediately and went to gripe to his friends
Thankfully he never squealed
That's the only time I've ever punched someone
And it is continuous proof that I value food above others
>>7789887
>kek
stopped reading there
>>7791170
it's an incredibly useful gauge for whether a post is from someone worthwhile, and frankly, i'm happy that he decided to preface his entire post with it so as not to waste anyone's time
>>7791126
>Bruce Bogtrotter discovers 4chan
>>7791187
Nah, in general I'm not a big guy on cake, it was more that he was destroying something I worked so hard on for others
>>7789682
bully proceeds to sue school for millions of dollars for serving scalding coffee
hes rich as fuck. you ended up here. even in your fake story you are still the loser
>>7789517
>Living in my first shitty apartment
>out of money because rent and bills
>only have $5 in my pocket
>walk mile out to only store open late
>buy mac n cheese
>walk mile back home
>put on water to boil
>read to pass time
>put in mac after water boils
>read some more
>forgot to put timer
>smell burning
>run to stove
>no water in pot
>mac is fat as fuck and charred on the bottom
>Think "I can save this"
>Scrape out only mac that isn't crispy
>Oh god, the burnt smell was cooked into it.
>Think "I can save this"
>Put in cheese sauce
>it just tastes like soot n cheese
>throw bowl across kitchen in my fury and sorrow
>broke for the next two days
Moving out for the first time sucked. Thankfully, Mom always invited me back home for her cooking.
>>7792069
That sounds pretty rough man, I honestly think I would have cried.
>>7792091
>I honestly think I would have cried.
Damn, I forgot to add that part. I actually did cry that night. I drank enough water to feel full. Boy, did I have to take a huge piss in the morning.
I had a dollar change from the mac n cheese, so I bought a bag of chips to sustain me all day at work. Drank from a fucking hose when no one was looking.
My mother called later to see how I was, then I told her the whole story. She fed me that night and gave me enough food to take home that lasted a week, bless her soul.
>>7789752
Don't know about the cafeteria but my junior year history teacher always had a pot of coffee ready and we could grab a cup and have some. Fucking class was like working at an office. His way of teaching was basically "Look it up in the book, fill out this paper, turn it in by the end of the day". Not the best teacher but fuck it I got good grades.
>Spend three hours cutting and making a huge portion stew
>burn it in the last 15 minutes not stirring it with the water too low
>>7789669
Probably just cause I'm pretty tipsy but this made me laugh a bunch for whatever reason
>>7789693
I love these replies because the fucking faggot never answers when asked a question
I was cooking food and my mom said there wasn't enough pepper, so she adds more and says its too spicy.
>Cook steak to medium
>"OMG ANON THIS STEAK IS RAW"
>Painfully return it to the grill
>"WHY IS IT SO DRY NOW?! CAN I GET SOME SAUCE?!"
The most unimaginably inhumane torture would be too merciful for people like this
>>7795821
This is what select steaks are for
>>7789726
>cookout
sup Tyrone
>>7791187
oh my is this a Matilda reference
>First time back to hometown in 1 year.
>Go to see dad at the hospital.
>Stay there from 10 am to 5pm, going back and forth between the hospital and his house, carrying stuff, fixing stuff, bringing him food, wash his pee, etc...
>Don't eat lunch, nothing during the whole time.
>Arrives 5pm. I go back to my mom's home.
>I pass by the local supermarket.
>I know what if waiting for me for dinner.
>Mom is now one of those women who do everything a magazine tells them to.
>I can't wait 2 hours to eat steamed broccoli and fish or carrots fried with zucchini, it's all she ever makes now.
>I just can't.
>Go inside the supermarket, buy a steak and some pasta. (she read it's bad so she banned them from her house)
>Come home.
>She is napping.
>Painfully, hungrily, cook the steak and the pasta, at this point I'm so exhausted i just want to stop everything and go to bed.
>Force myself to eat.
>Mid first bite i hear my mother scream her lungs out.
>Bunch of insults mixed with patronizing " i know better than you" bullshit.
>Continue to eat while trying to make sense of it all.
>Try to explain i had nothing to eat and did a lot of shit for my dad that day.
>Mentioning my dad sparks her fury even more.
>Somehow mention the reason why he's in the hospital is because he eats like i do (dad is in the hospital for lung cancer).
>I fucking lose it.
>I don't even remember what i said, i just got up and yelled back louder and angrier than her.
>Mom is now scared and starts to cry.
>Finish eating without a word.
>Cry myself to sleep.
>>7791427
>implying that happens outside of america and maybe the UK
:^)
>>7796236
I have only ever yelled at my mother once as an adult and still painfully regret it but that probably would have sent me over the edge as well.
>>7796236
>wash his pee
nigger, what?
>See a trend regarding putting tomatoes inside of a rice steamer with the rice on the net
>fuck it up, has the consistency of puke
>toss it out
>>7789752
had it at mine, student run cafe
>>7796275
>rice steamer
>on the net
dafuq?
>>7796261
*clean*
>>7789684
He meant grill as in cooking you fucking moron.
>>7789619
>How about you try being less of an ungrateful little shit
no, op was right to yell. how much a fuck up is a man who doesn't know that ribs are cooked low.
>>7789752
you have to be 18 to buy coffee in the u.s.
>>7796236
>>I don't even remember what i said, i just got up and yelled back louder and angrier than her.
>>Mom is now scared and starts to cry.
>>Finish eating without a word.
Alpha as fuck
>>7797935
Lies and bait.
People in the U.S. do have weird feelings on the matter, though. I drank coffee starting when I was 8, and people thought it was weird. Meanwhile those same people let their kids drink Coke and Mtn Dew like it was fucking water. We're talking a six pack per day. Compare that to my 12 ounce cup of coffee.
>>7798509
Can confirm. In Canada I drank coffee at like 5. Wafers dunked in coffee was such a god tier breakfast.
>>7798509
It's because "coffee stunts your growth", and the fact that it's bitter so kids must not like it. People don't really give a shit when kids drink starbucks """""coffees"""" thats mostly sugar and whipped cream. There's also fact that that soda companies worked hard to shill it to the general public that soda is not that bad and they were in schools across the nation for a very long time so people think it's ok for kids.
>>7798479
You left out
>>cry myself to sleep
Beta as fuck
>>7792123
You seem like decent person
Never forgetting the good your mother has given you.
