>Roommate asks if she can have one of my chicken breasts for dinner
>Sure, we all share food pretty often, and she's cooking for once
>Asks of we have any flour
>Nope, sorry
>She's frustrated, says she likes her chicken "nice and crispy"
>Suddenly she remembers we have a quarter of a box of pancake mix
>Pours some pancake mix on a plate, mixes in a shit-ton of garlic salt
>Cuts chicken into tendies
>Rolls them around in the flour-salt mixture without even so much as an egg bath
>Pan-fries them at maximum heat
>Takes them out when what's left of the pancake mix is burnt as fuck and the oil is smoking
>Tendies look like charcoal briquettes
>Proceeds to dice a potatoe and fry in the same oil with yet more salt
>Eats nearly all of it for dinner with a smile on her face
>Mfw
frying chicken with pancake mix doesn't sound like a bad idea
>>7741031
Hey, gotta start somewhere. Maybe you should try to educate her instead of running off to bitch on 4chan like the passive aggressive cunt you are.
>>7741048
You kind if have to rely on a bit more than just the chicken's own moisture to get it to adhere though.
>>7741031
How raw were these fucking potatos?
Cooking them AFTER the meat is fucked
>>7741055
I know you wanna get salty at OP but it sounds like she legitimately enjoyed the horrifying burnt chicken. How the hell do you educate someone who is content with being an absolute savage.
>>7741031
>Roommate
Faggot and a peasant?
My roommate hordes moldy tupperware in her room. I don't really know why.
>>7741055
This guy.
Look at how tough this motherfucker is.
Instead of contributing to the discussion,
he attacks and critiques other's contributions.
what a fucking hero.
>>7741071
She cooked then through, the chicken was just cold when she got to it.
I once had a roommate who would age American cheese slices in his room. Said they tasted like cheddar after a week.
His room smelt like shit.
>>7741139
You can't fool me, oh pee
>>7741173
I feel sick
I have a couple
>Living with ex buddy
>Often eat wings
>Eat mine with relative ease as an adult does
>Friend takes twice as long as everyone else, sauce all over face and hands with a perpetual look of confusion, sheepishly pecks at the wings while making noises before trying to slice them all of up with a fork and knife before not eating any of it
>I am hungry guys....
>Eueropean house guest
>They bring home something in a bag
>What is that? I ask
>Dinner! They say
>It's a sparrow they shot in the back yard
>They eat it
>roommate was a lazy cunt
>no vehicle or license
>dropped out of A FUCKING PSYCH program at uni because "it's bullshit, i already know i could do a better job than most psychiatrists"
>always complains that i treat him badly (drive his ass to the store, lend him money I never got back)
>one day, he complains that my chicken and pancetta smells pretty good and heavily drops hints that he wants some, looking at me like he never gets anything in life
>tell him i'll make him supper tonight if he makes it tomorrow
>hope this gets him to start cooking so he can get his foot in the door of being an adult
>he puts a frozen pizza in the oven
>says he put a "delicious twist" on it
>all he did was sprinkle chili powder on top
>says he wants me to cook for him more often and he'll cook too
>"but only if you pitch in 5 bucks each night, pizza is expensive"
>he proceeds to ramble on about opening a """""homemade""""" pizza joint
He proceeded to get kicked out of the building when he threw a punch at the landlord's fiance in a game of Call of Cthulhu.
>>7741193
You sound like jerk.
![5173708+_79f065d878b37a0daab5d68455eef54f[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/f7k8KT6.png "5173708+_79f065d878b37a0daab5d68455eef54f[1].png")
My roommate always makes sure to pop up in the kitchen during mealtimes, ask me what I'm cooking and then proceed to make unsolicited comments and blather.
Every single time.
I respond with grunts, yet she keeps this up.
Am I autistic for thinking she should just mind her own damn business?
>>7741513
You need to assert yourself.
Go to her room in the morning while she is in the bathroom, assume your position, wait until she comes back in the room and release a master fart on her pillow. Whisper 'enjoy your pinkeye'.
Butch will probably move out too
>>7741526
>implying I'd want to go into her stinky room
Some doors are better left closed.
>>7741513
Yes, you do sound autistic
https://youtu.be/ORw0eWWmfFM
>>7741190
wtf
There's nothing to eat on a sparrow
>I'm Italian and therefore very anal about pizza being made the proper way
>I once found myself in the situation of having to make pizza for a dozen of europeans of various nationalities
>busted my ass in order to get decent ingredients and adapt toppings in bongland
>German chick comes up to me
>blah blah I'm vegetarian
>that's ok ill make a margherita just for you
>pizza turns out great
>I hand the German chick her margherita
>she proceeds to go to the counter, grab a motherfucking banana and slice it raw on the top of the best pizza she's ever had the chance to eat in her life
>"oh I just love it this way"
>had to look away from her the whole time she was eating because I was legit tearing up
My roommate only eats microwave meals and ice cream
>>7744071
Why is there a box of cereal in the freezer? And what's with all the plastic bags?
>>7744098
Those are empty boxes not a freezer. She likes to save plastic bags
>>7744071
I was just thinking about how much cardboard I throw away and if there would be a way to like, cook it or make it edible so it's not wasted.
>>7741190
>>7744263
Can't eat it, it's mostly wood pulp aka cellulose which humans cannot digest. You can compost it though.
>>7741173
That's one of the funnier things I've read in awhile
>>7741190
I take it back, this is the funniest thing I've read in awhile lol a fucking sparrow.
>>7744059
>Germans
my roommate used to have sex with her boyfriend in the kitchen every saturday
>>7741139
>exploration of topics under discussion are not allowed
It pertains to the subject matter, it is his opinion. Yet you believe it doesn't belong?
Grade A thundercunt over here!
>Drive 70 miles to sister in laws house to drop off nephews from fun nephew weekend
>Traffic heading back is fucked, so decide to stay for dinner and hang out an hour or two.
>We're having tacos!
>they are boiling frozen chicken breasts in a big stock pot
>I am serious, this shit took like 2 hours.
>they shed the cooked chicken with two forks on a Teflon griddle
>they finally season the chicken and cook it AGAIN on the griddle. Dry as fuck now
>at this point I get a text asking me what the fuck is taking so long as it has been like 3 hours
>ok now we just have to fry the corn tortillas
>this is another fucking 30 minutes
Why would you cook chicken like that???
>>7741173
>>7744102
>She likes to save plastic bags
What the hell? Is your roommate a fucking 70 year old black lady?
>>7744390
yes
I'm deadpool
>>7744390
She isn't black but she is a very thrifty older woman
>>7744393
Top fucking kek
>>7744390
I save plastic bags for small trash cans you mongoloid what the fuck
>>7741126
laziness
>>7744411
Yeah, but do you have a tidy designated spot for them, or do you just have them in a pile on the floor under another pile of trash, because there is a subtle difference.
>>7744390
She also eats a lot of trail mix but I don't think she really likes raisins
>>7744426
Yes I have a tiny dedicated drawer that I just mash them in to.
>>7744436
chicks are so stupid what the fuck
>>7744437
Put them in a used tissue box, it saves drawer space.
>>7744442
She also has a large amount of expired food items. Take this container of squeezable mayo for example
I don't have anything too bad
I had an obese diabetic mother that put so much sugar in pasta that it tasted like a weird dessert
One time she made chili by throwing basic chili ingredients with no cumin into a pot and then added a bunch of brown sugar until it tasted like molasses but the canned beans she used were four years expired and tasted like metal and we all pretended to like it because she was a borderline personality nutcase
>>7744530
Wouldn't that make you ill??
>>7744448
How many can you fit in one box?
Also where I live we only have paper bags cause our mayor is a dumbass
>>7744436
Dude she's a fucking hoarder.
>>7744542
Plastic bags depend on the thickness and size of the tissue box, but medium thickness bags and a large box, easily 50.
Since you have paper bags only it won't matter. At least paper bags are environmentally friendly since the carbon stored in the bags is taken out of the atmosphere and as long as you replant trees you're combating climate change.
>>7741513
>proceed to make unsolicited comments and blather.
So your roommate wanted to talk around food like a normal well adjusted human being? Yes you are autistic.
>>7741193
>He proceeded to get kicked out of the building when he threw a punch at the landlord's fiance in a game of Call of Cthulhu.
Now you're obligated to tell that story as well.
>>7744059
>crying because someone added something to a pizza that they like
I'd be chugging your tears to wash down that pizza, anon.
>large family gathering
>30 + people
>homemade lasagna is promised by, lets call him "Jack"
>everyone looking forward to lasagna
>Jack has historically been a great cook
>great apps, BBQ, meats, pastas and even lasagna in the past
>Jack browns some ground beef
>drowns the cooked beef in canned tomato sauce and paste
>adds dried oregano, basil and thyme
>brings to a simmer or boil
>cools mixture off and puts in the fridge overnight
>day of gathering
>meat and tomato mixture is thrown in oven with a container of ricotta and cottage cheese
>angle hair pasta is cooked
>once cheese is melted, the two are mixed
>the dish is covered with that so called Parmesan cheese from a green canister
>topped with a store bought three cheese blend from a plastic bag
>Va la - Lasagna
"Jack" has clearly given up
>>7744755
>homemade lasagna is promised by, lets call him "Jack"
>>7744755
Sounds like "Jack" have been jacking it too hard lately
http://youtu.be/ok4cM6WTA5E
not that bad my bff/former roommate makes pancakes all the time for breakfast and only ever uses almond milk and self-rising flour. i told him he should use real milk and egg in the batter because he isn't even vegan but he completely refused. the pancakes taste exactly how you would expect an almond milk and flour mixture to taste
>>7744462
UMMMMM that's not expired...
>>7745158
AUTISM
U
T
I
S
M
>>7745173
Alright, bub.
Just hope you won't ever have to room with an old hypocondriac lady.
>>7745196
>men dont room with old ladies
>this is why we prefer to die before our wives get to that point
>>7741173
Real or not, that's some funny shit
>>7741383
Nah. His rommate sounded like an entitled little shit.
>>7744436
>I don't think she really likes raisins
Holy shit that made me kek
![[Wasurenai] Yumeiro Patissiere - 13v2 [H264 848x480] [4D51DB3A].mkv_snapshot_06.37_[2016.05.16_17.21.52].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/COQtpw0.jpg "[Wasurenai] Yumeiro Patissiere - 13v2 [H264 848x480] [4D51DB3A].mkv_snapshot_06.37_[2016.05.16_17.21.52].jpg")
>>7744559
>the carbon stored in paper bags is taken out of the atmosphere
>>7741513
why aren't you trading food for blowjobs?
>>7744059
>>had to look away from her the whole time she was eating because I was legit tearing up
>tearing up
so, the germans owned you italians again, eh?
>>7745713
what paradise do you hail from that isn't controlled by the jews?
>>7741193
>says he put a "delicious twist" on it
>all he did was sprinkle chili powder on top
>>7741193
Huh, sounds like this asshole dude my friend used to date. Did his name start with an S by any chance?
Two stories:
>Aforementioned asshole ex of my friend
>Friend was my roommate that year in college, asshole ex kind of moved in without asking anyone else in the dorm, including his girlfriend...voila, another roommate
>Just kinda showed up at some point and didn't leave
>This dude reeked, like really reeked, and also had the food hygiene habits of a savage
>Get back from visiting my family over spring break
>"What's that smell?"
>Roommate and I turn dorm upside down to see what's causing this horribly sour stank
>Three cups of milk have been left on top of the radiator
The next year I got assigned a rando as my roommate since we were short one person in the dorm. I'll call her J.
>J smokes weed, a lot of weed, and gets the munchies daily
>Eats like two boxes of Oreos every day, cries about being fat
>After crying about being fat, eats a package of sugar wafers
>Used to give me money to get her wafers when I'd go on grocery trips
>Would occasionally return to hear her mournfully whining "Waaaafersssss" from our dorm room
>Disappears for like 3 days straight around St. Patrick's Day to binge-drink
>Comes back shitfaced, orders sushi, passes out with the sushi on top of the radiator
>Proceeds to eat sushi eight hours later
>Proceeds to spend the following eight hours in the bathroom
>Claimed to be "deathly lactose intolerant" but ate stuff with dairy in it all the time
>Would fucking hoard fruit, keeping it in Zip-lock baggies under her bed until it blackened and liquefied
The fruit baggies are still a thing of legend among my group of college friends, even like five years later. Pic related (these used to be a banana and an apple).
>2 or 3 weeks into moving into an apartment with some people
>a week earlier we went to a restaurant that served fried rice with pineapples.
>roommate wants to try to make his own at home
>I'm asleep at the time.
>Fire alarm goes off, it's 8 am in the morning.
>Check the kitchen to see roommate scraping burnt pineapples from the pan
>He didn't use any oil and had it at highest heat, and ruined my pan doing so
>>7744559
>paper bags are made from wood
>wood is a mixture of plantstuff and co2
>Paper bags are enviroment friendly
No.
Just no.
Letting the tree collect more co2 by growing, instead of turning it into a container for your shit is the enviroment-friendly option here
>>7745562
>>7746771
You people are fucking idiots, trees remove CO2 from the atmosphere, older trees are considered carbon neutral because thye have limited growth and therefore remove less CO2 from the atmosphere.
By chopping down and replanting trees you remove CO2 from the atmosphere by locking it in a solid form such as wood or paper.
Please read up on the carbon cycle before posting again.
>>7746783
>By chopping down and replanting trees you remove CO2 from the atmosphere by locking it in a solid form such as wood or paper.
>by chopping down trees you lock CO2 in a solid form like wood.
What
It's already been locked in wood by the tree
Creating paper bags will not take extra CO2 out of the atmosphere, unless you plant extra trees for this process.
Even then, it's the trees, not the bags.
Eventually both paper bags and trees are broken down, contributing to the carbon-cycle.
TL;DR paper bags don't solidify CO2, trees do
>>7746586
>>7746817
>its already been locked in the wood by the tree
yes you fucking mongoloid, and when the tree dies it is broken down and the CO2 is released back into the atmosphere, but not if you chop it down and use the wood for something
And yes the bags will eventually break down but wooden beams and doors are around nowadays that have been around for hundreds of years.
My local pub is 600 years old and still has the original wooden beams in the roof, that carbon has been stored out of the atmosphere and the ground it used to grow on has new trees growing on it removing more CO2 from the atmophere.
You hav no idea what you are talking about so don't bother trying, you are beyond a retard.
>>7746783
>you remove CO2 from the atmosphere by locking it in a solid form such as wood or paper
PHOTOSYNTHESIS TURNS WATER AND CARBON DIOXIDE INTO SUGAR AND OXYGEN YOU FUCKING RETARD
>>7746830
Read up on the carbon cycle autist.
>>7744770
>Jack has a son
>There is some woman out there that let him impregnate her
>>7746783
You must have been the dumbest motherfucker in school.
>>7747032
And you are a literal retard who has no idea what you're talking about.
>>7745631
Yeah funny how they invaded us multiple times throughout history and yet managed to bring absolutely nothing back to their pathetic excuse for a cuisine
>>7746828
>All trees die before age 600
>all wood is used for log-term structures
Most structures aren't built to be around for so long anon
>>7747108
No they are not but carbon that is locked in solid form is not carbon that is contributing to climate change.
>>7747119
This fundamental misunderstanding of chemistry though.
Guess what happens when you burn wood?
You create CO2 from the carbon that the tree sequestered during its life.
>>7741173
I call bullshit, American cheese doesn't age in less than a couple months.
>>7746586
Maybe she was making pruno.
>>7744350
Untermensch
>Grossly exaggerated and mostly fictional story thread
My favorite!!! Also, OP is a cunt.
>>7741190
I can relate to that first story, I was raised a vegetarian and have no fucking clue what I'm doing when I eat chicken off the bone. I just avoid it whenever possible because it's fucking embarrassing.
>>7747945
>eat meat
>avoid the bone
Growing up vegetarian sounds like it sucks desu. Why push your habits on a kid?
>>7747955
Single hippy mother = I don't have to spend money and time on meat for the kid if I make him cry about dead chickens when he's 7
>>7747964
Lmao man, shit. My heart goes oit to your cause.
>>7747967
It's alright, I've got a nicely balanced diet now. I just fumble like a retard whenever I hold a chicken wing like a small dog trying to bite a beach ball.
>>7741190
Reminds me of a story my brother-in-law likes to tell.
>he and my sister live in the ghetto
>guy named Yang lives in the back alley in a van
>he keeps pigeons
>one day brother-in-law finds one of Yang's pigeons roaming free and decides to return it
>Yang thanks him, breaks the pigeon's neck, and offers it to him as a reward for being such a good neighbor
>brother-in-law, not wanting to be rude, accepts the pigeon
>brings it up to the apartment
>as soon as he walks in the door my sister spots the bird
>"ABSOLUTELY NOT"
They recently moved because someone tried to burn their house down while they slept. Not everyone in that neighborhood was as nice as Yang.
>>7747925
Yes, yes I am. Only slightly exaggerated though. The tendies only looked burnt because the "breading" was burnt. The chicken inside was actually pretty much spot-on cooked. Too bad it was seasoned abysmally and covered in burnt pancake mix.
>>7747119
*sigh
Yes anon, but as I've said in a lot of comments, the capture of CO2 is made possible by trees. Turning these trees into paper bags has no effect on the carbon stored in the wood, although it has an impact on the amount of CO2 the tree could have absorbed. Therefore, paper bags don't contribute to minimizing the amount of CO2
>>7744806
Yes it is... it's been expired for 3 1/2 years...
>>7747985
If it's chicken wings make sure to get the flats and not the drums, then you can either debone it very easily and pull off all the meat with the skin acting like a sort of bag all in one stroke, or you can just shove it in your mouth and pull out two clean bones. If it's a drum, you will probably need to work a bit harder, but it's still fairly easy once you've got most of the big end done.
For stuff like friend chicken, I still don't know how to properly eat that shit. I just try to get as much meat as possible, and legs are by far the easiest to do it with. If I eat any other piece I feel like my hands get way too greasy way too fast and I try to rush eat it so I can go wash my hands, and I end up wasting half the meat because I don't want to go digging around for it.
>>7744559
My problem is that it rains here all the time and carrying a paper bag home in the rain is always awful
>>7748007
>Turning these trees into paper bags has no effect on the carbon stored in the wood
Not sure if serious.
>>7746828
>My local pub is 600 years old and still has the original wooden beams in the roof, that carbon has been stored out of the atmosphere and the ground it used to grow on has new trees growing on it removing more CO2 from the atmophere.
Leaving that wood on the ground to decay would be vastly more beneficial than using it as beams for a pub.
Deal with it.
>>7741031
Noob here so few questions if anyone cares to help
> Is it good to use flour with all meat? Why?
> Isn't pancake mix something you make out of egg, flour, baking powder and salt? Do you keep that in fridge or something after you make it or do you just buy it like that?
> What's the difference between using salt and pepper; and salt and garlic
> Does egg bath refer to getting the meat through an egg first? Is this common for all meat?
> What does it mean that "the oil is smoking"? Is it literally releasing smoke because of the high heat?
> Do you ever need to use maximum heat?
> What's wrong with reusing oil for more foods in the same meal?
>>7748149
>You two are so fucking dumb you could fall in a barrel of tits and come up sucking your thumb.
I've never heard that expression before. Fantastic, I love it.
>>7748273
lol it sounds very British for some reason
