Food porn thread.
>>7718329
whats wrong with her hands?
>>7718342
Cerebral palsy
>>7718342
Autism.
>>7718342
She's really drunk, like all the time.
>>7718349
we're talking about her, not you.
>>7718342
they're transplants and she's getting used to them
>>7718342
She's actually one of the lucky ones. Cerebral palsy can pretty much reduce you to a useless sack of meat. She's highly functional.
>>7718369
Thanks for dropping by, reddit.
>>7718329
oh yeah, that kind of food porn...
>>7718329
whyh is she so retarded?
>>7718484
She's not, but you are, you fucking cunt.
>>7718484
Don't be a cunt
>>7718382
yup, everyone I've known with cerebral palsy, which is only 3 people, are in wheelchairs.
>>7718342
they aren't up my arse
5/-3 would mandingo the palsy out of her cerebral. i'm black btw
>>7718329
>cookie is a foot away from her face
>camera cuts, cookie is gone and she pantomimes chewing, nodding in approval
she really thinks her audience is dumb enough to think she made that jump?
you don't have to like the Ja/ck/al, he's certainly not as pathetic or hot, but he is a much more honest broadcaster. If you're going to show that the infirm can cook, take a page out of Jack's handbook, and show the whole thing.
just a little thing called integrity, but I digress
>>7718329
>it's a sad clarisse thread
s-stop :(
>>7718550
she probably had a problem getting it into her mouth
would you rather she left in the intermediate minute? What exactly does that add?
Why the fuck does she twist her entire body to put it into her mouth?
Just move your damn arm.
>>7718651
authenticity, inspiration, sympathy
I'd also feel better knowing her handler didn't just cross the floor and jam it in her mouth -- which would be fine, but should be disclosed in this context imo
That webm breaks my heart. Twice.
>>7718674
>her handler
she's like 20 and lives with her parents. She's rather independent
>authenticity, inspiration, sympathy
you just have autism. face it.
>>7718712
>white knights the disabled, calls cohabitation independence
well, looks like we'll have to agree to disagree, cuck
>>7718665
i want to fuck that stack of pancakes
>>7718696
>tfw no cerebral palsy qt to mangle your junk
>>7718329
Fuck she is so adorable.
>>7718329
Sadly this is what happens when you have atheist parents.
this deformed mongoloid lady cant bake to save her life either lol. jesus.
shes like a french circus contortionist with no off switch
>>7718733
Do elaborate
>>7718329
Daily reminder that she has a bf and it isn't you
>>7718768
it hurts
she will never give me a messy hand job
tfw no palsy-fu :(
>>7718651
Comedy.
>>7718768
Why does Guy look so sad?
>>7719391
Because that kid's eating a stack of garbage that could have been Guy's.
>>7718469
>>7718724
>>7718665
>>7719657
Jack's been getting high on his wife's son's supply
>>7719674
He actually has pink eye.
>>7719678
oh, I see ;)
well that's less funny, probably got it from wiping pee or poop into his eye though, so maybe it's even better
mmm that schadenfreude is so moist
>>7719691
I bet he was using his phone on the toilet, the filthy bastard.
>>7719667
T H I C C
H.H
I. . .I
C. . .C
C. . . .C
>>7718665
Da fuck. Do your sear then bake? Or just a creamy middle for that shade of brown?
>>7719751
rice cooker
>>7719391
Because flavortown is right there and he can't reach it
>>7719398
>>7719852
>>7718768
>mfw Guy's face
I should not have laughed as hard as I did.
>>7718329
She's such a qt
>>7719906
I want to do her right in her clumsy vagina.
>>7719914
>>7719879
Good to know people still get triggered by being called a cunt.
she should start some sort of a gimp geisha service, where she entertains men poorly and shakily and bathes in their money and affection
wow so quirky and awkward XDD
what a cyootee would sex in bagina Xdd
>>7719921
Literally the cutest girl I've ever seen. She's so pure.
>>7719906
If that happened to me I'd be swearing and throwing things all over the kitchen. I really admire her ability to stay so calm when nothing goes right. I can't at all handle situations where I have no control.
>>7719906
Ok so this girl gets in a car accident and then thinks people want to see her make flap jacks post facto?
Why are women so narcissistic?
>>7720215
>it's her fault perma-virgins want to see a retard with nice tits and fantasize how they would "take care of her" and maybe she wouldn't be able to compare them with other men
>>7718329
What the golly fuck is going on with her hand and arm there? Does she have bone problems? Was it a small seizure? How the shit can someone be so bad at picking up and holding a fucking cookie?
>>7718733
If you fail to pray, you pray to fail
>>7720232
amen
Can someone remind me her name? Its Katy iirc.
>>7720277
Shae King, I thought
>>7718369
Glad you could make it, Reddit.
>>7720288
Paula Zee
Putting that crippled woman on blast, dog
>>7720236
>this entire webm
what in the world
>>7720219
i hadn't realized that "permavirgins" forced her to start filming unremarkable cooking videos. i'm sure her primary motivation, like any woman that makes a youtube video about how to boil an egg or flip a pancake, was wholly and purely for the edification of others and was not a means through which she can take videos of herself arbitrarily without appearing self-absorbed; she really felt that people needed to learn how to flip a pancake, and felt strongly that she must show them how.
>>7720232
post more jack food porn
>>7718382
>highly functional
Thanks vagina
>>7719921
Anyone got a link to her YouTube so I can post nasty comments?
>>7720775
Mana from born again, but still pretty much a douchebag, heaven
>>7719718
>>7720775
if only a man could be a burger
fuck off jack spammers
>>7720810
I love how many gadgets he has acquired with tammy's dad's money
>>7720818
then post more fantasies about how a cerebral policy girl would make you a crepe or something
>>7718382
my friend is completely fine and i guess he has a minor case. he just needs injections in his legs.
>>7720822
probably writes them off come april too, if I had to take a guess
>>7720816
is that a raw burger
>>7720840
Just a bit moist friend, just a bit moist
This is a ghetto cheese cake, try not to salivate too hard, silly boys
>>7720816
He is fucking useless.
All good jackals deserve coffee...
unfortunately ol Jack runs into a snag while trying to use butter in place of cream...
yeah, well, live and learn as I always say, and Jack... well he's big on both
Flap jack cripple is getting her shit kicked in. Can't wait till meat wad has another stroke and they're on even playing fields
>>7720862
he really can't do a lot of things by himself
he is the everyman's cook -- that is actually inaccurate, I'm sure the average joe could cook cirlces around Jack. Really he is inept and proudly so. He has the gadgets because he's a rube and thinks consumer reviews will get him some views, and I think he's correct.
>>7720867
>can't open a beer bottle
Now that's just shameful to all fat beer drinking men
have a bunch more but I don't think they qualify as "food porn" so I'll leave it at this one
>>7720870
Jack is not a teetotaler, but has made a point of saying how he doesn't really drink several times. You could speculate he's a recovering alcoholic, but my guess is he just says it to get good boy points. Not sure though. He says he only has the beer to cook with.
>>7718329
I wish I was more obviously disabled like that. No one is sympathetic for hugely autistic fujoshis.
>>7720881
If you're under 200lbs and smell...acceptable I'll give you all the sympathy you want.
>>7720884
sure, but you aren't most people. most people feel bad for cerebral palsy people.
>>7720881
>fujoshi
not gonna touch that with a 10 foot pole. Sorry, roastie, go look for attention somewhere else.
>>7720877
lolol, it's food porn though \ ( >_<)/
if you think the two vids of the wheelchair girl makes a better thread then go screen cap some more of her shit for us to laugh at
>>7720874
Jack walks in the Grace of GOD
I know it sounds stupid, and like fedora bait, but I have strong faith that Jesus keeps Jack alive so that he spread the gospel and his example of clean living (obesity and diabetes aside) to the world
>>7720886
>go find attention somewhere else
>gives attention.
>>7720872
Got those webms of his fuckups? Like the JUICY STEAKS
>>7720900
I don't know who this is video of, just some random guy cutting up a really delicious and moist burger. Man this food porn is so good I almost feel like Jacking
>>7720903
How does he fuck up literally everything he does in every imaginable and unimaginable way possible
>>7720903
it's disgusting
>>7720911
The secret is that he shows his fuck ups. Other cooks and educators try and keep things clean and informative, but the Jackal seeks to teach through his mistakes.
Is he lazy or a genius?
it's definitely one or the other...
>>7718665
Chicago-style pancakes.
>>7720920
Hardcore and probably awful
>>7720920
has he ever cooked any meat to completion one time. like to not-food-poisoning levels
neither that hamburger nor pork were cooked to above food poisoning levels
>>7720926
yeah he has, the webms are generally created to show how he fucks up, but he's got a lot of content and some of his smoked stuff looks pretty good.
I wouldn't eat it out of caution, but I'm sure a fair amount of his stuff are adequately cooked.
I am tapped out now of most of my passable stuff, so I'm going to bounce
Stay hungry for Jacking, my friends
>>7720932
>yeah he has, the webms are generally created to show how he fucks up, but he's got a lot of content and some of his smoked stuff looks pretty good.
The thing is, he has been cooking passionately for 10 years at least....and he still has less competency then your average 80 IQ person w/ 3 months of experience cooking.
The most basic skills and concept completely elude him.
>>7720920
lmfao
>>7720948
>learn
>Jack
Choose one m8
>>7720204
youre a faggot. might as well ask yourself how do fish manage to live underwater if you cant stay there for more than a minute.
>>7720948
Jack is savvy, he's not really smart or rationale. He doesn't cook passionately, it's a job he does to sell sauce and get a small amount of YouTube money. If you think he hasn't improved at all you're wrong, but it's at such a low level that it might as well be nothing.
Will he learn that hot and blenders don't mix? I don't know, if someone told me his iq was under 90 I would not have a problem accepting it
>>7720932
yeah i mean he did almost kill himself and his viewers with that canning video
>>7720973
what
>>7720973
Only he didn't.
Try harder, faggot.
>>7720980
He basically did everything possible wrong when he did a video on how to can food. If one followed his instructions, you almost certainly would die as it created the perfect environment for pretty much every food-borne bacteria, virus, fungi, and parasite
>>7720985
is it still up or did he take it down
>>7720985
Your hyperbole is such an exaggeration it just makes you look like an idiot.
He boiled the can for about 5 minutes less than you were meant to, and at a slightly lower temperature. In theory dangerous, but you would never actually die from it.
>>7721000
yeah the whole "pull the video or you'll kill people JACK!!" was just some self important stacey trying to shit down Davenport's back
>>7721000
>hyperbole
Pretty much sums up Jack fags.
>he left the burner on, lol Kek lmao rofl
>>7721022
huehuehue
>>7721019
delicious raw chicken
>>7721047
is the secret sauce semen?
>>7721047
kind of looks like a roast beef sandwich
better apply some of that Arby's BBQ sauce to it
I love that sauce, it's... well it's almost the best BBQ sauce I've ever tasted
Awful lot of jealous women in this thread.
>>7721019
JOOCY
>>7720900
All webms of Ja/ck/ are of his fuck-ups because that's all he is capable of doing
>>7721093
I want to see a montage of Jack eating food and doing that stupid thing he does where he raises his arms when he eats something for the camera
>>7719906
she's pretty fucking hardcore just refusing to give up. Reminds me of my friend who has a learning disability and aspergers and he refuses to accept he has them and just powers through everything relentlessly.
>>7721091
Hi Ja/ck/
>>7718329
>>7721097
>>7721102
>being friends with a retard
>>7721097
>eating the taco like a burger
>eating the burger like a taco.
There's some kinda magic failure field surrounding jack.
>>7718329
i was hoping to see her hump one
>>7720942
I think you overestimate how much he actually cooks. What we see on screen is the extent of his cooking. He has quite seriously cooked as many times as he has uploaded a video to the cooking with jack show. How do we know this?
Jack Jr. has a video game streaming show and in it, he says that the only time they eat his dad's cooking is when he makes a video. The rest of the time they eat out.
That is why he remains such a fuckup to this day. He has quite literally cooked fewer times in the past 10 years than I have in the past 6 months
>>7721255
but which of you have fought in more pizza wars?
yes, that's what I thought
>>7721264
>>7721268
>>7721274
>>7721108
he is the epitome of everything I hate about my country
>violent towards his children
>fundamentalist christian
>homophobic
>is proud that he doesn't read
>doesn't think history should be taught in schools
>fat manlet
>leeches off his wife
>diabetic
>fervently anti-drugs
>proudly ignorant
>total lack of self awareness
>rags on restaurants in his reviews even though they are all better at cooking than he is
>>7721266
I got in a food fight where the primary ammunition was pizza
>>7721280
>>violent towards his children
literally mind your own goddamn business, you don't know how shitty kids can be, they DESERVE everything they get
Please dont start a food porn thread with that bait webm. I actually wanted to see food porn
>>7721299
t. was beaten as a child
>>7721278
What the actual fuck is he trying to cook?
>inb4 he is actually a wizard trying to concoct a brew that will summon the demon of canned goods
>>7721304
you don't EVER put your hands on a woman
you don't EVER put your hands on a woman
judge him if you want, but he was right to choke out his fat, bad, son for hitting his wife
>>7721317
maybe getting slapped around by his dad taught him that violence was an acceptable way to solve disputes :-)
>>7721312
garbage stew, made up of fresh looking veg and unexpired canned goods that would have lasted long enough to have been cooked separately anyways
>>7721322
hmmm, yeah it is possible, we really only have Jack's stories to go by
>>7721317
He didn't hit her, retard.
>>7721322
The whole family is too stupid to be capable of higher orders of thinking so they act on impulse and can't control their reptilian brain centers
>>7721317
he choked his son for smoking weed you dip
>>7720204
Well that's an absolute sign of immaturity and high temper, you fucking manchild
>>7720236
WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?
>>7721354
Lurk moar, newfag.
>>7721317
>violence is wrong and i'm going to choke you as punishment
this is why he supports a church leader who murdered an old woman and who wants to bomb millions of people
>>7721356
I've seen the webm a hundred times but I still can't figure out what in the fuck he was trying to accomplish here. There's absolutely no precedence.
Speaking of Jack... 4 days ago, the stupid fuck put cayanne pepper in his eyes to "cure" his Pink Eye..I live 15 minutes from him and it's all I can do not to go to his house and bash his fat face in
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Era4tENWn4Q
>>7721377
I hate to sound trite, but... is it possible for you to just cuck him instead?
you would become a folk hero of sorts
>>7721376
Watch the video then, retard.
>>7721018
if i didn't know that was jacks gravy, i'd love it, but i do, so *gag*
>>7720874
>how is this guy not dead yet?
there was an old guy who used to come to the market i worked at, and carry off the shit we threw away every morning. some of the stuff, especially beef, wouldn't be bad, just discolored. but the fucking pork and chicken, when it's discolored it's fucking bad. he'd take it all.
the guy looked like a jack, before aging and bacteria replaced his humanness. his skin looked so thick and unhealthy. he had an unhealthy pallor to him. we asked one day what he did with the scraps and bad packages, thinking he probably fed his hogs or used it for fish bait like most of the other people.
no, the guy admitted he ate it. took it home, cooked it up and fed his family.
>>7721217
and if there's anything jack knows, it's eating tacos
amiright
yeah, you know i'm right. you've all seen that tongue. my man jack knows how to eat some taco.
>>7721019
>that welling up of blood like he struck an artery
>>7721264
i could go for a rice in a pork chop cup right now
>>7721447
It's not blood retard it's myoglobin. Blood is confined to the circulatory system.
You Jack fags are thick as fuck.
>>7720874
Frankly, i'm more surprised that our dear finnish friend isn't dead yet:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9y18jOukpLY
>>7721430
oh, lost my point. my point was that some people exist on a different bacterial level than the rest of us. what might kill a normal man, jack's bacterial overload scoffs at.
>>7721464
this is a food porn thread you fucking dunce
>>7720810
HOW DOES HE AFFORD ALL THIS SHIT
>>7720831
which video is this?
>>7721513
by selling expensive sauces
>>7721317
you're right. you should use a baseball bat. or an extensible baton.
>>7721550
Don't you ever threaten my wife's bull's son again
>>7718329
>>7718329
She has a YouTube channel or something?
>>7721513
he gets them for free
thats the power of youtube
>>7721571
yes
>>7721500
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUvYcUbxzYI
>>7721588
lmao what the fuck
>>7721317
I was bullied hard in highschool. I was about 15 when I got out late from school.
Drunk girls were in the parking lot and started pushing me around, making fun of my local accent (it was a super multi ethnic school) laughing at my look. They were super mean and hard on everything personal.
I headshoted one of them with pic related so hard she cried. She was bigger and taller than me.
Man and women are equal in 2013+3, you are allowed to hit a women with reasonable force to defend yourself.
I was beaten up by their boyfriends the next day, but then they left me alone, no more harassing, I was just invisible to them.
>>7721602
>Not getting a gun to settle the score
Do you even know how modern schools work?
>>7718329
This made me sad. I wish everyone could live a normal life.
>>7721018
I want to get off mr jacks wild gravy train
>>7721095
What the fuck am I looking at
>>7721513
tammy has money. the kitchen was paid for by her parents. By view count he has perhaps made 30k from youtube, and 30k from his sauces
if tammy were hot he would be living the dream
>>7721588
thanks for finding the highlight reel
>>7721664
general tso's chicken made with a non newtonian fluid as batter
I think he got confused about the egg wash and just dumped it into the cornstarch and basically made wallpaper glue
end result didn't look too bad though except it was hilarious how shocked he was that adding cornstarch to the sauce thickened it
>>7721646
I'm Canadian m8. Guns kill people.
>>7721679
Is this a subtle king thread?
>>7721274
Isn't most of that an advert for M&S?
>>7721764
>he who shall not be named
>>7721749
And if you kill your enemies they win
>>7721146
I had something typed out then I realized it made me sound like a faggot. Carry on shit posting.
>>7720810
>The time it takes for him to take his hand off
Jesus christ, he's so fat
>>7721761
not really that subtle m8
Why do Jackfags always want every thread to be a Jack thread?
>>7721515
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxSCqGljuzY
>>7719398
lol'd
>>7721278
>let me just throw everything I own into this pot real quick.
>>7720822
care to explain? i had no idea tammy's father was wealthy
>>7720920
> set oven to 280 or 325
> get pan with a solid metal cover
> put pork shoulder in pan with 1 inch deep water water
> cook for 5 to 7 hours
> pull it apart
Wtf is this guy?
>>7721956
He's rich, I don't know what from, but he paid for their house in Tennessee so all those appliances and granite countertops are Tammybucks
Kind of sad that Jack has spent more money on his show than he has made from it
>>7720810
What happened here?
>>7721967
Hello, newfag.
>>7718753
underrated post
>>7720236
lol cool whip
>>7722034
>lol
Faggot.
>>7722052
>Faggot
Virgin.
>>7722053
>virgin
mother
>>7722060
>mother
tell your children not to walk my way
>>7718469
Jar says "Real Mayonnaise" and yet it's nowt but white gloop. Fucking americunts.
>>7720236
i was just morbidly curious at first but I audibly retched once the cool whip came out
this is /ck/'s equivalent to /b/'s posting pictures of mangled corpses
I thought people were joking when they said /tv/ invaded this place but this thread proves me wrong.
>>7722232
What do you mean
>>7721306
nah
>>7721000
>but you would never actually die from it.
botulism tends to kill you pretty much dead.
doing things "close" works in horseshoes and hand grenades, anon.
>>7720816
ITS FUCKING RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJKAQggSs9Q
>>7721883
Look at that waddle.. that's not how a human should amble
>>7721897
Maybe if they didn't ban Jack threads it wouldn't invade every other thread? The retarded mods and janitors have created a flourishing black market out of Ja/ck/
>>7718658
>just b urself
>>7721274
what is the softboiled egg-thing that gets cut in half
it looks delicious
>>7722404
>Why won't mods let us post this unfunny forced faggot over and over again?
Because laughing at a bumbling idiot has nothing to do with cooking. Imagine if people wanted 24/7 Epic Meal Time threads, you'd be screaming at the mods for blood.
He's not funny, and he's the one who posts most of this shit here anyways. He's trying to become popular by being the fuck-up, but it's just not good enough.
>>7722538
Do you actually think Jack comes here and posts in these threads? Are you that fucking retarded?
>>7722538
people like awful food threads, retarded youtubers and reality stars, /ck/ abominations... I dunno it seems to have a place and newfriends always seem to be discovering the wonders of that fat faggot's culinary foolishness
>>7722538
yeah man jack totally posts here, that's why he deletes all the mean things we say about him in his comment sections. It's totally not because he has an ego as fragile as a spoiled prince
>>7721102
Cerebal Palsy can be pretty heartbreaking because it usually doesn't affect a person's actual mental capacity, but they have to deal with the frustration of having a body that doesn't do what you tell it to.
I teach a kid with cerebal palsy and he needs a walker to get around, and has a speech impediment on top of everything, but he's the smartest goddamn kid in his class, just need to give him extra time to answer so he can get the words out that he needs to.
>>7720816
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmAraNvDnRg
>>7722660
That's really fuckin' sad.
>>7722660
>he's the smartest goddamn kid in his class
Sounds like the rest of him is retarded, so it doesn't count. He evens out to average
while he's saying the answer, the regular kids can google with their fingers and get the right answer and say it faster.
>>7722660
my girlfriend used to be a home help CNA part time during college
one of the worst people she had to work with was a cerebal palsy guy. he literally spent 20-30 hours a week on the phone with anyone that would listen while he complained about their service. I guess it was some kind of power trip in his otherwise sad life. She had 4-5 hour shifts with this guy where he would spend the entire time calling customer service numbers and complaining.
>>7720700
Gets me every damned time...
If it doesn't fit in the average person's mouth does it still count as a burger?
I feel like there was a period where a lot of places were putting flash over function
>>7722523
I think its a sheppards egg. Irish/british thing. There's a video on how to make one @ foodwishes on YT I believe
>>7722696
>google with their fingers and get the right answer and say it faster
This isn't intelligence, it's parroting
