Hello this is Chef John and welcome to foodwishes.com with!...
>>7702452
>Hello this is Chef John and welcome to foodwishes.com with!...out my mom
>>7702455
aww too soon man, his moms gonna make a cameo in the new Ghostbusters
the OOOOOOOOL' TAPPA TAPPA
A plate of scabs!
Yes that's right, for this nice and warm summer weather we're gonna being making a beauuuuutiful plate of scabs for any family gathering
or, if you lost your family in a horrific accident, just yourself
ok, so lets get started
we're gonna your elbows or your knees, a bowl, and some nice course ground sandpaper
and I'm using some tuscan 80 grit sandpaper, but you can use just about anything here
just don't use anything higher than 120 grit
we're making scabs here, not some bruises
and your gonna start rubbing this sandpaper deep into your elbows.
just give those tender elbows the ooooooold scrapuh scrapuh
it's gonna hurt at first, but hey no one ever said making scabs wasn't going to be painful
so rub your elbows, or your knees with that sandpaper until it starts to bleed, and you're gonna want a sizeable amount of blood.
remember, you're running the lab on your bowl of scabs
and once you got a good amount of profuse bleeding, were' gonna take a pinch of gravel and add it to the bowl
and it could be any kind, i like to throw in a little bit of twigs and rocks
and of course some cayenne
and we're gonna let this blood sit out in the sun for about 4 days
after about four days it should look like this, nice and dark and rich, with some flakes of gravel in it
and it is doooooooone!
look at that a big gnarly looking plate of scabs to show your friends and loved ones
I like to put them right back on my arms and peel them off, just like the real thing
so head on over to foodwishes dot com for all the recipe details
and as alllwaaaaaayyyyy
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
>>7702488
DEAD
>>7702488
remember, you are the Ahab of your plate scabs
>>7702488
>>7702488
7/10
You forgot the - You are *insert famous person/reference to character* of your plate of scabs
>>7702488
>and of course some cayenne
>>7702488
Literally the best thing I have read this year. Thank you sir. I cried laughing.
>>7702488
Someone post the semen version
>>7702488
I'm dying holy shit
chef john makes me moist mmmhm
>>7702452
I suppose he was enjoyable a couple of years ago, but he's lost his novelty.
>>7702488
should have included his INFlections
>>7702488
>just give those tender elbows the ooooooold scrapuh scrapuh
>it's gonna hurt at first, but hey no one ever said making scabs wasn't going to be painful
Fuck, I could hear it.
>>7703375
"remember, you're running the lab on your bowl of scabs" Read it again
>>7704528
You can't think of one non-vague legitimate negative thing to say about him. Try, I dare ya.
>>7702488
/ck/ comedy is getting better by the day
Why is Chef John allowed but not Jack? This board is as dead as boards get, we can use all the activity/shitposting available. Hell, I'd even settle for Joey threads so long as they were contained to 1 thread. Stop being so gay, mods.
>>7704939
The way he says mayonnaise.
>>7702488
Ow my fucking elbows asshole
Chef John (((Mitzewich)))
I made his lasagna today, shits heaven.
the only thing negative people can say about chef john is that he's too fat and slow and old to work in a kitchen anymore so thats why he teaches the world via his youtube channel.
but, everyone gets old.
he is sharing his knowledge
>>7708469
I loved my mom's recipe for lasagna but when I saw his was basically the same but with Italian sausage as well as ground beef my life was forever changed.
wait, did something happen to his mom? i know the diane recipe he wanted to name after his mom, but why all the mom posts?
>>7708933
Check his blog
>>7702452
I liked his technique for turning (relatively) cheap strip steaks into "poor mans" filet mignon. I'll have to try it sometime
>>7708949
thats a shame.
i actually made that recipe for my mom sunday and had some leftovers of it today after work. turned out great. easy, simple, and fun recipe. im glad my mom liked it.
>>7702488
That was very well done, GJ. Still hate you though.
>>7706359
Because one of these guys is an actual cook and the other is not
His baked wing recipe is god tier
>and a shake of cayenne
His cream biscuits are my fucking jam
Two ingredients? Heyull yeah
