![BijVE4WCQAAP8UL[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ln0Vug8.jpg "BijVE4WCQAAP8UL[1].jpg")
I live under the totalitarian rule of an unfair, despicable ogre AKA my father. Just because I am not employed, he thinks he has the right to enforce arbitrary dietary restrictions and treat me like a child. Okay, I am overweight and it is "his" house, that still doesn't give him any right.
Anyway, one of the humiliations he puts me through (and in front of my cunt of a stepmother) is to "allow" me one can of Pringles per week as a "treat" (as if I am a dog and not his human son). Of course the first time he did this I ate them in one sitting and he of course shamed me and refused to buy me a new can until the following week. Now I have to walk for 30 min 3 times a week and can only eat certain amount of Pringles per day - yes, he actually draws 6 lines on the can and occasionally checks to see if I surpassed them. If I eat too many he throws the whole can out and doesn't buy them for an additional week because he is an asshole who cheated on my mother and has to make my life hell.
With that background, now you know my predicament. I ate 3/4 of a can Wednesday night due to my diagnoses depression and in a fit of creativity and intelligence, I cut the appropriate length from a paper towel cardboard tube and balanced the remaining Pringles on them. The weight isn't good but they clearly look like they are at the appropriate line.
But I'm worried this won't go unnoticed for the next 5 days and am wondering if /ck/ can give me advice on how to make homemade Pringles? This way I can use them as "filler". Please /ck/ I really need this and the flavor doesn't matter, the prick doesn't scrutinize that much.
This way Anon for the recipe.
>>>/r9k/
>>7693636
Why can't you just go to the store and buy more ? Or are you 15 like your post suggests ?
>>7693654
I am 28 with a BSc in CS and more coding and gaming experience than you will ever have.
You are also too dense to understand that when I said I was unemployed that implied I do not have the money to buy more Pringles, otherwise there would be no issue.
Maybe you just live in a world where you get everything for free and don't have to think about money. Must be nice.
What the actual fuck. I don't care if this is pasta, I'm laughing my ass off
>>7693668
Me too, who comes up with this shit?
>>7693636
Anon you 12 or something?
>>7693636
>>7693665
Here's a detailed guide that will help you solve your problem.
>>7693636
>Okay, I am overweight and it is "his" house, that still doesn't give him any right.
fuck you kid, yes it does
it sounds like the only recipe you need is for a home gym
>>7693665
>Can't even find 2 euros to buy a fucking can of pringles
>Still lives with his parents at 28
>Unemployed
>Fat
>His father controls the pringles
>Thinks he can act all high and mighty.
I have my own appartment, I pay my rent, and all my bills and I'm 22. How does it feel to be a failure ?
>>7693704
I am waiting for something worthwhile instead of working in retail or some monkey trade like you.
Does /ck/ have any real suggestions or is this going to be "troll the honest person with problems"?
>>7693708
Dude, abandon character for a second here and tell me how the fuck you come up with these stories. Seriously 10/10, good job
>>7693708
Why not work part time at some shit job while you keep looking for "something worthwhile" when you're off the clock? It's not like you pay rent obviously, so you can use all of the money you make to buy as many Pringles as you want.
>>7693714
Generally spontaneous, but sometimes when I am in the bathroom stall at work I try to think of a funny /ck/ post. If they are good I usually remember them and maybe refine them in my head for a few days or even weeks until I find the time/motivation to post them.
I usually paste them in a text file, but some of my better work from up to ~7 years ago is either lost in the aether or occasionally pops up.
>>7693636
Maybe you should try getting a job
>>7693691
>mfw I already own a CPAP machine/mask
I have been considering the helium method for a while, why didn't I think of this before? Thanks, Anon.
>>7693708
>Beliving in the tooth fairy meme
Listen kid that tooth fairy is never going to come and hand you a perfect job, it isn't going to pick you up and make you loose weight, teach you everything, and give you money for college, or a job.
Only you can get a job for yourself.
>>7693742
Is Irish stew guy one of them?
Or that fucker that eats in his car?
>>7693748
don't do it, put me in your will first..
give me your gayman PC and any effay clothes if you got them in general medium size, 32-32 pants and what not..
>>7693742
Show us the text file
>>7693758
lol maybe...
>>7693636
Get a job, then.
>>7693636
>Okay, I am overweight and it is "his" house, that still doesn't give him any right.
You can shut the fuck up and do as you are told until you grow up and become an adult, you father is trying to help you and you are acting like a child.
Pringles are impossible to duplicate at home, they are the very definition of a highly processed food product.
however, with a pasta machine, a starchy dough and a frying pan you can acheive something close.
this recipe looks plausible:
http://myfoodstoragecookbook.com/2012/06/30/homemade-pringles/
>>7693665
So you have money for food but not enough money to move out or buy your own property? Poor as fuck. Go on welfare, you nigger.
How about just stop eating Pringles u fat fuck i hope this is pasta but if ur so smart why are u in a situation where ur dad controls ur pringle intake either way uv made my morning
>>7693858
Yeah no shit, but what's the problem? No fun allowed on your super serious food and cooking image board?
>>7693636
9/10 pasta m8
>>7694838
>hey let's just make this place shittier, set that benchmark a little lower
fuck you, my friend
>>7694905
>pasta
Not everything is pasta you sperg. Prove it or fuck off.
>>7694979
You're right--I'd actually rather live in a world where this is true because it's hilarious.
>>7693858
Duh, I still laughed though.
Better than yet another well done steak post..
>>7694752
Looks like it might work. You'll need to shape them, resting them on a rolling pin might work
>>7693636
Saved
>>7693636
KEK WHAT A FUCKING LOSER!
>>7695032
>replying to shitty posts instead of sending them to page 10
Learn to 4chan, friend. sage
>>7695116
Bump :^)
>>7693636
itt: autismo
>>7693714
How is it a good job? It's obvious he's talking shit and trolling. Stop getting worked up over it.
>>7693636
Excellent, OP. Excellent. I've had a bad day and this just made my night.
>>7695140
Orange hair is never going to be cool again, after that movie theatre dude did a crazy.
>>7693665
>I am 28 with a BSc in CS
If you aren't making 6 figures then you should kill yourself lol
>be me
>get job offer for 115k today
> dropped out of college
> 29
>2 years experience kek
>>7693636
There should be more parents like your father.
>>7695116
Announcing sage is illegal
>>7695155
>again
kek
>>7695414
so is blatant shitposting, a la this thread
sage
>>7695430
>Call sage in the most blatant shitposting on /g/
>Get banned for 3 days
>Thread goes to bump limit
Also the thread has much more discussion potential than 80% of threads here
>>7693636
have you tried getting a job and moving out?
>>7695446
sage
>mfw the real autists are the ones getting worked up about this being a "troll thread"
It's not even a troll thread, it's just a joke that some autists are too stupid to get. People like OP are what make 4chan special
>>7693704
>I berate imaginary people on an anonymous imageboard to feel better about my mediocre existence.
Trouble in heaven huh?
Ask your friend jamal he can hook you up
>>7693636
They're basically potato flour pressed into those curvy ovals and then deep fried.
You'd do better just making chips or fries from real potatoes.
Search youtube. I'm sure there's at least 100 videos on how to make french fries.
>>7696719
Eh, I just treat as creative writing.
>>7693636
>rule of an unfair, despicable ogre AKA my father.
underaged b&.
Your parents spend their money on nutritionally useless food that keeps you overweight and you complain about it?
>>7693636
>>7693665
how 'bout you go shitpost on your own board you pretentious fat faggot
If you cant get a job with a BSc and coding experience in [CURRENT YEAR] you really are doing something completely wrong.
Or maybe its the fact that youre a repulsive slob that nobody will hire you, maybe try losing weight, then getting a job.
Or just kill yourself and sell your organs, then ensure a friend gives the money for your organs to your mother, if she isnt as bad as your dad/step mom
btw nice reddit formatting, i bet you came straight from /r/4chan to reap sick karma duuude
>>7695446
announcing saging and report is against the rules iirc.
If someone reports you for announcing a sage outside of /b/ you run the risk of getting banned.
>>7694905
What is with people feeling like they have to point copypastas out? wow you guys have street cred and have seen it before... let other people enjoy it, you don't look cool for spending lots of time on 4chan and knowing the "ropes".
Wow, I wish I was you. You probably talk to people about Catcher in the Rye and To Kill a Mockingbird and other highschool literature and think you are so fucking intelligent and deep. You aren't. You are a faggot that has to ruin the fun for everyone else with the premise that if everyone is as unhappy as you, life has meaning and will get better.
But no one can be as unhappy as you, because you wallow in a shit and self-pity filled ditch that you dug out with your own mouth you fat fucking loser. Hey guys, I'll tell you how this movie ended... no that I actually saw it with friends in public, rather I downloaded it and saw it in my dank fucking basement with tinfoil blocking out the windows so I don't have to see the real world reflecting on my monitor as I see how much gold I can mine or something as equally time-wasting and asinine.
Yet you still think you are superior. I bet you also sage threads and feel like the god damn enforcer of the internet. Well you know what buddy, you can have your tiny, fictitious internet niche while I choose to live and enjoy the company of others.
You are what is wrong with 4chan, the internet, the world, and the existence of matter and we all see you for what you are you fucking dipshit faggot asshole. Why do you even have caller display, let alone a phone? NO ONE CALLS YOU.
>>7693636
I really really enjoyed reading this OP. Lel
>>7699848
>If you cant get a job with a BSc and coding experience in [CURRENT YEAR] you really are doing something completely wrong.
He can't get a job because of his personality. It is up to the job HR during the hiring process to weed these people out so management doesn't have to waste their time interviewing anti-social malcontents.
Somebody buy OP a month of 4chan Gold, this thread is beautiful.
Are you the Irish stew guy?
>>7703645
The thing is that the Irish Stew guy had the right of it. OP in this story isn't in the right.
>>7703777
Irish Stew guy later inspired the character of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory. True story.
>>7693665
Listen fatty, im not anon but you sound like a right cunt.
Get off that fat arse, find a job, any job.
Stop living off daddy
>>7703802
Proof? He does remind me of Sheldon but proof pls.
>>7693636
underage or stupid
go to the store when you know there's going to be a sale on pringles (use a grocery store paper you get in the mail) and buy a ton of them
something like pringles is too complicated to make properly unless you are a good cook (you aren't)
>>7693636
you're lucky someone cares about your health OP! you should go for longer walks though
>>7693691
>have 2/3 because sleep apnea
>can't buy helium because live with parents and they'd question the purpose and monitor me like crazy
>can't afford to move out
>>7703865
It was a joke, though I could see it happening.
>>7693665
>I am 28 with a BSc in CS and more coding and gaming experience than you will ever have.
>>7701569
Nice pasta
>>7704172
Anything longer than a paragraph is a pasta... I cringed
Hoe new are you?
>>7694838
>fun
>>7704720
I've literally made storytimes on /tg/ several times that were thousands of words long.Try harder.
>>7693704
I honestly wish that people sincerely replying to troll posts were banned more often
>>7693636
Just stop eating fucking pringles, go for walks more often and stop being a little bitch.
I'm not saying it's not hard to lose weight, getting a job, and stop eating chips, i can certainly appreciate how your life can be a nightmare that seems impossible to wake up from.
But i think you might actually be an autist, your lack of understanding why your father does what he does, and you claiming to have a superior intelligence and sprouting out gaming experience.
Stop being a dick, help your father out with the house, stop eating snacks that he is giving you, cause if you don't do these things, he will always treat you like a child.
If you were so smart, you would be able to figure this out.
>>7693636
I know this is bait, but after having actual problems legitimately fuck you go kill yourself
>>7693763
>CPAP mask
>medium size
uuuh
>>7693636
just fucking kill yourself already
>>7706920
>I feel entitled as a special snowflake for experiencing hardship, go kill yourself
>>7693665
Stop being a fatso you obease fatty lard ass
>>7693704
Why do you pay rent for your own apartment?
Would bet any amount of money that this poster was Australian.
