I offer you a heiniekein
wat do.
I break it over your head
Empty it, piss in it and re-bottle it.
Call anyone who can taste a small bit of a difference in it a shill.
>>7657135
Accept it and say thank you
Proceed to drink
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=snhiofL2Rh4
>>7657135
I'd say "these shits come in long necks now?"
Use it to cheat on my next company piss test.
Politely refuse
>>7657142
/thread
I'd drink it.
HE NEUKEN?
>>7657135
Drink it and meanwhile scout for the rest of the case. It is the most drinkable beer (next to Schultenbräu, the bottles, not the 0,5l cans) that I know. Sure, it's nothing special, but I know of no better beer to tank all evening.
t. Dutchfag
>>7657420
Shoryuken
>>7657135
Depends: if it's Dutch-brewed Heineken, I drink it.
If it's brewed in whatever country on license, then no thanks.
>>7657422
>not best bier
>>7657135
ask for an unopened one and politely ask you to stop trying to date-rape me.
>>7657430
It's not the best beer in existence, sure enough. But if you're drinking an entire case at a bbq or something, I challenge you to find a better one.
>>7657422
>It is the most drinkable beer that I know
Funny, Heineken is the single least drinkable beer that I know.
I shudder to think of the rotting horsepiss you call beer in the Netherlands.
I cook with it.
>>7657438
Well, tell me what your go-to drinkbeer is then.
>>7657438
There's nothing wrong with a light beer that you can knock back on a hot day when you're with friends at a barbecue (or whatever).
I hope you're not That Guy who brings some craft beer that has to be served at a precise temperature and then acts like they're enjoying it while everyone else is knocking back cold beer.
>free beer
drink it gladly
>>7657448
This. There is a large difference between drinkbeers and tastebeers. There is barely any overlap, as tastebeers are generally heavier and, as you said, require specific temperatures and glass shapes. Drinking a 10°C Gouden Carolus tripel from the bottle in the sun is as much an insult as just smashing the bottle on the ground. Heineken doesn't ask questions, it's just there for you to drink anywhere roughly between 12 and 5 degrees, no glass, no worries. Just beer and a sateh from the grill. Good times are coming.
>>7657448
>There's nothing wrong with a light beer that you can knock back on a hot day
I agree completely.
Heineken is not that beer, though.
Heineken is fucking disgusting. I'd sooner drink Bud Light, which at least has the courtesy to be completely flavorless.
![798189[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/TjIwox6.gif "798189[1].gif")
>>7657436
i did find a better one
best bier
>>7657448
>>7657466
The problem is most clear and green-glass beer bottles sold in the United States are heavily UV damaged, which changes the usual hop smell into skunk asshole.
Heineken out of a can tastes just fine, but all the bottles I've tried have been awful. Same with Becks and Corona. Why they don't use amber glass is beyond me. Pic related does seem to be an improvement though glassfags will complain eternally.
Drink it and offer you one.
>>7657505
Buying a carton instead of a 6 pack that's been under fluorescent lighting for 10 weeks helps.
>>7657510
Yes but...
>Heineken of questionable origin at a bar or party
>buying a carton yourself
That's not how OP's question seems to work.
If I was buying a carton for my home at Heineken's import price it'd be Sierra Nevada's Summer Pack or maybe even Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse.
I always cheap out and just stack High Life for socializing and cooking. Easy to have a six pack or two stashed of something oddball and a case of unskunkable watery industribrew.
>>7657135
enjoy immensely
don't care if people say it's always bad or whatever, I like all heineken. cans are good, bottles are better. Even when I burp, the burp tastes good.
>>7657135
I can get water from the tap just as fine myself thanks, doesn't need to be in a fancy green bottle.
>>7657587
that's cool where do you live i want heineken on tap
>>7657135
For some reason whenever I've had Heineken it has tasted bitter.
Not like pleasant, hoppy bitter, but like sour bitter.
It's disgusting.
>>7657424
Heineken isn't brewed at all
It's carbonated water with added alcohol + beer flavour....they are so proud of this frakenstein beer, they even showed the non brewing process on dutch tv many years ago
>>7657438
Heineken in Europe tastes different than in the US, to be fair. It's pretty shit in the states.
>>7657651
In all honesty it's just as bad in europe.
>>7657135
Decline and keep drinking vodka on the floor.
>>7657683
Really? I heard it was at least drinkable over there
>>7657646
>>7657604
You already have Heineken on tap; the tap right between your legs. You just need to chill it yourself.
>>7657438
We Dutch have a very decent craft beer scene, with 't IJ, van Moll, De Molen, De Leckere, Kees, Kompaan, Maximus, Oedipus, to name a few. It's just that many of our macros are owned by Heineken, and therefore suck.
>>7657759
ik woon letterlijk 70 meter van de brouwer 't ij af. Maar ik drink het te vaak en ik krijg er een punt hoofd van.
>>7657759
IJ is heel fijn, alleen die gistsmaak begint een beetje teveel te worden. Ben nog op zoek naar een fatsoenlijke Nederlandse sour ale, zit nu aan pic related, maar die is bijna €6 de fles...
>>7657796
Heb net ook een Speciale Vriend 3 op, van Vriendenbrouwerij Heiloo. Fucking nanobrouwerij, maar wel een erg fijn bier; tarwesaison gerijpt op een eiken bordeaux-vat.
7 deugden is prima, maar ben er toch minder fan van sinds ik weet dat het basically Downie-brau is; volgens mij loopt er niemand zonder verstandelijke beperking in die brouwerij... Bierfabriek zegt me weinig.
Favo Nederlander blijft de Zoltan van Van Moll, afgelopen maand gedronken in Eindhoven, geweldig spul.
>>7657135
I´d drink it because im not a faggot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snhiofL2Rh4
>>7657459
>There is a large difference between drinkbeers and tastebeers
This, kids, is called a false dichotomy. Christ, you'd think the only beers in the world were bland industrial lagers on the one side and quads on the other.
>>7657135
Even if it sucks it's a free beer, if you don't drink it you're a faggot
jesus christ you faggots heineken tastes fine just fucking drink it. you are the same insufferable cunts who spend 10 minutes looking at the craft beer selection making sure you pick the one cool enough to match your beard and flannel shirt.
I hate this "beer culture" nowadays in the US. Most craft beers taste like shit
>>7657833
>only spending 10 minutes shopping in the beer aisles
>>7657135
I take a sip and replace it with pic related, then enjoy a deliciously refreshing Picon-bière.
>>7657135
Say "thanks" and then I would drink it.
>>7657833
I totally agree. My gf has some friends that are into the beer culture, they're some of the most pretentious assholes I have ever met. I find it easy to troll them IRL and just make fun of them.
I politely drink it I guess
>>7657135
Just the one? Cheap fucking bastard!
>>7657135
I'll tell you it's horse piss and chug it, I might even be intelligible while doing so ... but no guarantees. Taste has been relevant for less than 10% of the beer I've ever consumed.
>>7657135
I usually drink the cheapest i can find in the supermarket so I will gladly accept
want a bad beer? try Cruzcampo
>>7657169
Only correct answer here lads
Drink it of course, it would be impolite to draw attention to your poverty if you're offering me a beer.
I'd make sure to get some cheap stuff in if you were coming round mine.
But I'm only kidding. If it's a hot day and the beers cold, Heineken is as good as anything to chug away at while you're shooting the breeze.
fuck that shit. PABST. BLUE. RIBBON.
>>7658527
My dad wound up puking that shit up after a couple of cans.
>>7658543
Is your dad 12?
>>7657135
I tell you much obliged friend
