Tell us about your most interesting stories, how your usual trips to the grocery store play out, or talk about the kind of people you encounter there.
>>7643407
When I go to the grocery store, there's some 16 year old or something gal who always wears black form-fitting pants (would call them yoga pants or leggings, but it seems to be a style of pants these days)
I would shove my face in her nubile asshole...
>>7643430
>tfw she notices you
>>7643407
Last time I went, I was getting stuff to make tacos. I made eye contact with the bag boy as I was leaving and he just firmly nodded at me.
That doesn't sound too weird when I type it out, but it was kinda weird. A funny weird though.
>>7643476
These are the things that make me switch to another store for one or two months.
Thank god for self checkout.
>>7643476
did you do anything in response?
I usually say >thanks man
One time there was an obese lady riding one of those mobility scooters. She was trying to reach an item from the shelf but couldn't from her sitting position. I was truly disgusted watching the flesh dangle from her arms as she tried to reach the marshmallows. It baffles me how people can live in such a state.
>>7643476
how is that weird at all he was just politely acknowledging you?
jesus christ this board
>>7643476
Store management here, to be honest it isn't just young people that are spergs but people of all age groups. What drives me insane is when you ask people clearly if they need help finding anything and they just mumble out "yeah i'm having a great day" . And you know it isn't just you because they do it to every employee you have too. I have generally found teenagers worst problem these days is that they have trouble conversing versus technology based communication. I often joke it would be better to do interviews with high school kids through text than asking them questions.
Some nice lady at the seafood station gave me a pound and a half of salmon the other day for free
A few days ago, I was in the grocery aisle trying to pick out some decent tortillas when some old lady kept saying, "Excuse me. Excuse me!"
I don't care that I'm blocking the aisle. I have every right to be there and I'll take as much time as I need to select my items. You can wait.
Fucking rude, impatient people...
>>7644932
Nah, fuck you.
>>7644932
10/10 bait, made me mad before I realized what you're doing here
>>7643407
>Tell us about your most interesting stories
Years back, I was standing in line at the grocery store check-out and the next lane over, this old man was rolling up and his cart wheel snagged on this huge cardboard display / container full of disposable razors on sale.
He tried backing up then going forward, grumbling under his breath but his cart was still hung up, until suddenly he yelled out “SON OF A BITCH!” and knocked over the entire cardboard display / container like a linebacker blitzing a quarterback, sending hundreds of disposable razors flying all over the place.
It was all I could do to not bust out laughing, as he then calmly rolled his cart up to the conveyor and started unloading his food, while the cashier got on the PA system and called for a clean up at the registers.
Serves ‘em right for putting those things everywhere in the store, getting in shopper’s way.
I was out shopping one day and was walking past a pair of ladies chatting away and focused on their phones. The cart one was pushing snagged the corner of a display of cheap wine and the whole thing almost came down. I grabbed it to stop it and only two or three bottles fell out with one busting open.
They proceeded to book it and left me awkwardly holding up gallons of cheap wine and surrounded by broken glass.
I don't have much. I recently fumbled a can while trying to inspect it and move out of some woman's way at the same time. Caught it though, and felt kinda cool.
I stopped going to Publix so much because I feel weird about having to tell the old woman with a wrist brace that I don't need her to push my cart to my car. Seriously, I'm 25 and she's passed retirement; have some mercy, Publix.
>>7645371
>I stopped going to Publix so much because I feel weird about having to tell the old woman with a wrist brace that I don't need her to push my cart to my car. Seriously, I'm 25 and she's passed retirement; have some mercy, Publix.
Yeah I've often walked out of there wondering if I look like I'm dying. It's nice that they want to help, I guess.
>>7645341
The other day I watched a lady take out an entire end cap of bottled cider at trader joes. Literally gallons of cider all over the place.
One time I saw someone push there cart into the meat counter as glass shattered over everything
>>7643407
>my cashier has dreadlocks
>decide to be social
>tell her I used to have them to make small talk
>spaghetti water at rolling boil at this point
>she asks why I cut them off
>pasta is now cooked to al dente perfection
oh i had to when I got a real job
>sauce looks done too
this is a real job
This was whole foods, I haven't been back
>>7645418
>oh i had to when I got a real job
>>7645426
>implying HT isn't the same shit but sold at 3x the price
>>7645431
its overpriced at fuck but they definitely have a better selection of fruits/veggies/cheese and free samples are bro tier
only get select shit there though because the exact same shit at food lion is ~25-50% cheaper
>>7645455
>free samples
I don't know why, but it is the absolute height of pathetic behaviour to me when I see a grown man taking a free sample at a store.
>>7645469
This.
>>7645469
more cheese on toothpicks for me then faggot. enjoy your crippling social anxiety that prevents you from accepting free samples in public.
>>7645418
10/10
>>7645469
You know what the samples are for, right? They're so you can sample the product before you buy it. There's nothing pathetic about that.
>>7645481
It's fine it's actually something new or interesting, but when dudes are grabbing samples of melon or crackers it's disgusting
>>7645481
>>7645475
>>7645489
Exactly. Fucking cut up pieces of granola bar or half of a little mini cinnamon buns? Ouuu a new frozen pizza or some shit-ass new flavour of cream cheese on a cracker?
You know exactly what the fuck it tastes like before you "sample" it. It's got nothing to do with social anxiety and everything to do with acting like a complete faggot in public.
>>7645522
>i don't have social anxiety
>if someone sees me eat melons at harris teeter they will probably think i am a pleb
>>7645540
Please enlighten on me on these newly invented melons
>>7643407
Before shopping, I recce the store, memorizing each isle. Then, I go home and write a shopping list according to the isles arrangement, starting from the entrance all the way to the checkout. This list is also designed to follow the shortest possible route through the store. The next day, I go early and wait outside the store before opening time. This is to avoid crowds and also to get the best shopping cart with smooth wheels because they're faster and easier to control. As soon as the doors open, I methodically follow the shopping list while taking pics using my phone of the prices and punching in the numbers in my calculator. Eventually I reach the cashier and double check the receipt with my own calculations. The entire shopping trip should not take more than 20 minutes. I shop for a family of 9 (big extended family).
>>7645548
yep.
girlfriend shaves it for me. fade -> 3 on the top. lasts a long time before i have to cut it again and looks pretty gewd. cost $0.
about to go to harris teeter and eat some free samples later. have fun worrying about what strangers think of you.
>>7645548
>I bet you fucks have had the same haircut for the last 5 years.
5 years ago my hair was 3 feet long, and I cut it after a large section was burned when what I was working on exploded.
Sorry you're too afraid to try new things, Mr. Burch.
>>7645554
>literally every store everywhere carries literally every type of melon all year
Anything yo justify your phobia of new things, right?
>>7645558
Oh, I forgot to mention that I took those pics to input into a goods price Excel sheet I made. I use this to avoid going over budget. I shop once a week.
How do you make sure you get the good cart without testing a shitload of carts?
This is turning into the daily autism thread
>>7645564
>girlfriend shaves it for me
HER PUSSY AMIRITE
>>7645558
Autism aside, why are stores usually laid out so customers are routed to produce first?
All the cold stuff should be at the end so it stays fresher and ends up on top of the heavier items. I hate having to run back and forth trying to strategically grab stuff.
>>7645612
So that by the time you get to the junkfood aisles all your self control and will power has been expended and you make overpriced impulse purchases.
>>7643407
I've never understood why, but old people really really like me. I've gotten cornered by them so many times and looped into polite half hour conversations that I'm not able to get out of.
On occasion I've run into people who I knew in high school. We make eye contact and it ruins my whole day. We usually don't say anything to each other but we both KNOW.
There's a guy who works at my local place who I also see occasionally at the gym we both belong to. We've never spoken with each other in either setting.
I can't stand it when people try to use the self-check out when they have a giant cart full of items. It takes them forever. Don't they know it's for people with only a few items?
>>7645612
Do you actually believe your vegetables are going to rot in the time it takes you to move around the store?
>>7645616
Because all the fresh food draws your eye and leads you around the store until you reach all the garbage processed food
>>7645612
Psychological impact, a good produce section gives a store an atmosphere of fresh/appetizing food. Also why many stores now have larger deli and fresh food sections on a center island near the front. Produce is also a high shrink area that needs all the focus it can get. Milk is usually put in the back so that you are forced to walk across the store and make more impulse buys along the way. Smart stores force you down a impulse buy section on the way to the milk.
>>7645623
No, but it makes more sense to put them at the end.
>>7645633
Not particularly. You want to space a store partially out of shopability, but you also want to spread out so clientele must walk across sections they may not usually buy out of to pick up impulse buys. You also have to think in terms of facility layout, it is cheaper to place coolers/freezers in a line or together rather than spaced all over.
>>7645639
Fuck off, I'm right fucking retard.
"Hey Jeremy! We got any orange juice with something called pulp in it?"
-overheard coworker conversation
I watched a lady drop 4 croissants out of the self serve bin onto the floor, then pick them up and put them back into the bin.
I haven't felt the same about self-serve bread ever since.
>>7645643
Kay...
>Going to buy 2 lbs of tilapia from the meat department
>They're all out
>Ask woman behind the counter if they have any more
>"One second, hun"
>She goes into the back room
>Comes back out with 2 2lb bags of individual frozen tilapia fillets with a sticker on each
>"We don't have any more fresh ones, but I marked these for you so just show them the sticker up front and they'll be free. Give 'em a try"
>>7645612
>walk into store
>see produce
hm, today I will be healthy
>buy a ton of veg and fruit
>start feeling good about new health kick
hey a bag of cheetos won't hurt, I have a ton of spinach in my bin!
>cheetos eaten in a day, veg rots
They want you to buy as much as possible, it helps
>>7645709
those evil geniuses!
>>7645633
Why do you think so?
They want you to buy a bunch of veg first so you feel good about yourself, then you lose control with processed shit like chips because you already have the healthy tomatoes in your cart
I mean honestly the grocery industry spends millions of dollars studying the psychology of shoppers... why do you think Walgreens puts their pharmacy in the opposite corner of the entrance? so you have to walk through the aisles
>>7645717
not evil, just smart about human psychology
I mean you do realize how many millions these corporations put into figuring out how layout affects shopping behavior? It's not an accident
>fat weaboos coming to my favorite korean market for just snacks and instant noodles
It's not very interesting
>>7645724
Same. But they never go for the kimchi or meat or marinated meats so I'm good.
>>7645718
I guess most people either don't plan out their lists beforehand, or don't stick to them too strictly. I'm not immune to impulse buys, but I'm not going to pick up Cheetos to offset the spinach and broccoli I'm buying.
It makes more sense to me from a logical standpoint, cold stuff with cold stuff, you know, but I guess doing it like they do means better profits for the store and more walking back and forth for me.
Though talking about placing healthy stuff first, my Kroger has its produce at the entrance, but the health section is at the very end, so it seems kind of backwards.
>>7645735
Jesus Christ are you still sperging out that the lettuce isn't kept in the dairy cooler? I'm sorry you don't understand rudimentary principles of marketing and basic capitalist theory, but life is not arranged according to what would be most efficient otherwise you'd sit on a conveyor belt and shop in a store of revolving shelves like a car wash or something.
>>7645735
The health food aisle is full of pills and boxes. The point is that it doesn't look as healthy as a nice head of broccoli or lettuce, even if it is
I think you get the idea that as long as you are walking by a product you are more likely to buy it. That's why the most commonly needed sections are on the periphery
Deli
Meat
Dairy
Bakery
Everybody buys that shit so they have to walk all over the fuckin place and of course they are going to buy extra shit as they think of it when they see it
>military
>commissary
Everyone is either relatively /fit/, fat or really old.
No taxes is nice.
>>7645767
Not him, but I live in Seattle where we have this massive Japanese supermarket. It has its own bookstore and other smaller type of stores inside of it.
Every time I go, I will always find a small group of weeaboos clamoring over at the snack aisle, ramen aisle, or bookstore.
>>7645778
>I'M JAPANESE NOW DAD, OKAY?
>>7645892
Yeah, you'll see a lot of those types of people. I feel bad for the older parents that have to go with their cat-eared, anime bullshit children because I always see them stand around awkwardly around the book store while their kids jerk off to anime figures.
>>7645748
>still sperging out
I am, goddammit. I understand the psychology of store layout in the sense that I remember some brief mention of it in a psych class, and it makes sense from an economical standpoint, which is most important, I guess.
Anon was asking why I thought putting all the cold shit together was best, and I think it is because it's more logical. It would make shopping quicker, which, as a consumer, I value that a bit more than a marketer's attempts to make me buy more stuff.
Do car washes revolve? I don't use automatic washes.
>>7643407
>heading up to register
>this disheveled lady pushes past
>puts up two bottles of tartar sauce, one with the lid up and open
>some bananas
>a giant can of fruit cocktail
>box of cheez its
>takes a squeeze of the tartar sauce
>starts to bag up her own things
>cashier says "I haven't given you the total yet"
>lady stops and waits
>hears the amount and then starts bagging again
>asks how much it is
>gets out her members card thing to scan
>then starts writing a check
>drops her keys while writing
she just kept fucking up what a weirdo
>>7643407
>work at local grocery store
>thought I'd seen the worst people have to offer (leaving used nappies / tampons etc)
>today seen a lady pushing her kid around in a trolley
>kid literary shitting liquid onto the floor and the goddamned parent walks through it
>line of human feces up the vegetable isle with shitty footprints
And people wonder why I prefer to buy my veg and meat at a farmers market
>>7645924
I hate getting stuck behind checkwriters at the grocery store. They always stand there waiting for the cashier to finish scanning everything and ringing up the total, then they haul up their gigantic purse and rummage around all the useless shit they carry around to find their gigantic wallet stuffed full of receipts and coupons to get their checkbook. Then it's another few minutes while they slowly scrawl out the check and look at the total on the screen two or three times before they finish and sign it. They almost always get cash back too and stand there pondering what denominations they want for their cash back. Drives me up the fucking wall.
That and the old people who can't comprehend how to scan their credit card. I was behind one of those last week. This old lady tried to scan her card 5 times and kept doing it wrong every fucking time with the card either backwards or upside down or facing the wrong way. Eventually the cashier reached over and took her card and swiped it for her.
>>7645989
>I hate getting stuck behind checkwriters at the grocery store.
This is a complaint from the 1990s. Nobody writes checks anymore. They haven't for 20 years.
>>7645643
>Being this salty about grocery store strategery
>>7646023
I process at least 3 or 4 checks a week. The people who write checks are usually either wicked old and terrified of debit cards or just a retarded contractor who gets checks from their boss.
>>7646045
>3-4 per week
And the odds of getting stuck behind them are about the same as winning the pick-3 lottery.
Arabs on welfare system buying too much food and bargaining if price is to high.
>>7646132
>HABIBI, IN DAMASCUS I BUY LIVE CHICKEN FOR ONLY 5 DOLLAR! WHY SO EXPENSIVE? WALAHI THIS COUNTRY IS QAMAMA
>>7645548
Try ten years, mother fucker.
Also, my barber is the only person to have cut my hair since 1997, apart from his daughter while he was out getting his knee replaced.
Git gud.
>>7646132
As someone who grew up in Saudi, complaining about food prices is a national pastime. Food was cheaper than the USA and most Saudi's don't work for shit, don't drink, no fun no nothing so all they got left is eating. That's why they're all so fat.
>>7645548
why would you ever change your haircut once you find one that works
>>7645469
meh whatever
>go to the gym in the morning before work
>stop at the grocery store after to buy some yogurt
>bakery has free cake samples in their little sample stand
>walk around in gym tights eating a birthday cake square at 8am while all the old women stare at my ass
>>7645643
There's considerable writing about grocery store layouts and the impact they have on people's shopping habits
>>7643407
My grocery shopping tends to go a bit like this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwXjm64a3QE
>>7645069
Those things aren't as annoying as tasting stations. They set them up in the busiest places and the whole damn aisle gets jammed up. They set them up at the worst possible times, too.
>mfw I pop into the store on Friday after work, the store is packed, and there's some grinning bitch spooning cheese dip onto a cracker and looking at me invitingly
I went to a new grocery store today. When I went to the produce section, I saw they had all their goods on ice beds. Not like ice cubes, but crushed ice. I'm not sure what came over me, but the next thing I knew I was grabbing handfuls of the ice and shoving it into my mouth. As I was crunching and swallowing my frozen treats, an old woman started yelling at me about "germs". I panicked and shoved some more ice into my shirt pocket and ran out of the store
>>7645522
My old supermarket used to have a really good selection of samples by the deli. Would do laps of the store and keep going for more
>>7645558
That's brilliant
I'm autistic and I work in a grocery store. It's a great job for autists and robots, which describes most people I work with.
>>7645558
>>7647045
>i had a man bun
i don't give a fuck what you think or about your "style" faggot
Nothing particularly interesting lately. That tends to happen in restaurants than groceries.
I hate going to the self-check out and the machine loudly announces that I need assistance.
Oh yeah, I still haven't quite figured out the chip reader thing. I felt really dumb to be part of the generation that's born in this technology and not know how to use it, and a guy near retirement owns a smart watch to pay for his shit.
>>7644020
>when you ask people clearly if they need help finding anything and they just mumble out "yeah i'm having a great day"
Fucking this.
>>7645609
Every day is a daily autism thread.
>>7648319
>set them up right in front of the one register that's actually open
>can't tell if people are in line to check out or for samples
>>7643407
>General
>>7645426
Fucking this.
It's either going to the cheap stores and drown in rude muslim shitskins, or pay out of your wazoo in the more expensive stores.
>>7645469
My girlfriend sometimes ask me if we should go to a specific store on saturdays. The reason?
It's their free samples day, so she think of it as a perfect time to snatch some free lunch.
I always go "nah, it's too expensive for us to do the groceries in there", but in reality I find it to be white trash as fuck.
>>7645389
It's a customer service gimmick. A store I used to work at called it 'spoil them with service'. They strongly discourage people from dealing with their own carts by not having any corrals in the parking lot.
They say it's their way of making the company stand out, but considering their only serious competition here is Walmart, it ends up feeling like clingy overkill after awhile.
How do you guys deal with buying something cheap?
We here have a big supermarket but usually only one check out works so there is always a lot of people watching what you buy, familiar or not.
Sometimes I want something not that expensive, like a Bic disposable razor or some cheap body wash and feel like everyone is judging. I'm not even poor I just don't like spending that much money.
>>7650389
Cashiers don't give a fuck
Unless you're buying a cucumber, that shit is hilarious
there was a huge display of grapes at the entrance. some older lady was opening bags and eating them right there, testing them I guess.
>oh, this one's good.
I was disgusted.
I work in the garden center at a meijer's.
It's not all that exciting, but it feels like it's own separate entity from the rest of the store. I usually just spend my day watering flowers, helping old people load up mulch and making banal chatter about the weather to customers.
My bosses treat my ability to actually communicate with and help customers like it's a superpower. I get compliments and praise for doing fuck-all really, which I guess in comparison to my coworkers (One had legitimate aspergers, one is a woman who refuses to lift anything over 40 pounds and generally acts like a bitch and the rest are okay but awkward.) is something that stands out.
The woman who trained me when I came in made a clear pass to me on Friday. I'm not sure how to handle this, I don'[t feel uncomfortable around her but she is well into her 40s, and I've met her adult son (who is older than me), which kinda makes it weird.
I feel that I'm one of the few people in this world who has never had a problem with self-serve checkout.
I only use it for when I have 10 items or less. I'm also capable of looking at produce to get the key code on it to type into the machine.
Seriously, if I have 2 items I can be in and out of the self-serve checkout in about 30 seconds with a tap pay card, the longest part is waiting for the receipt to print.
I like grabbing frozen food and leaving it in random isles behind boxes so it defrosts and spoils.
>>7650389
What an insecure faggot
>>7645418
Should have turned that into flirting. You could have recovered.
>>7650395
I always buy two or three because of that.
>>7650395
>Unless you're buying a cucumber, that shit is hilarious
That reminds me... one time I was at Walmart in the produce section, looking for bananas. And a guy was there, watching me. I thought, "Weird, but maybe he just wants bananas too." Then I went over to pick up a cucumber, and I was kind of feeling them to make sure they weren't mushy. And the guy was there, watching me as I fondled cucumbers.
I left pretty quickly.
>>7650545
>T-sexuals
This sounds like some sort of tyrannosaur mating ritual.
>>7650469
Do it feggit
i love fresh market and other comfy supermarkets, they make me feel so warm inside. i especially love going on rainy saturdays.
