Why is it that every time you look for a fun recipe to try it's almost ALWAYS posted by some self-appointed "foodie" chick with a blog that has to write a goddamned fucking novel before actually just posting the ingredients and the method?
I want to make some badass fucking tacos tonight and every page is like:
>New Year's Eve is always a special time, but also a high pressure time! Maybe you'll get to kiss someone? Maybe they'll be Prince Charming? Well last year, Prince Charming didn't show up, but I started thinking about New Year's resolutions.
>.........
>...the thing about Charles is that is kind of picky. So I started experimenting with some new fresh ingredients...fresh. The word "fresh" makes me think of summer time...so here's another five fucking paragraphs of inane bullshit with close-up pictures of the ingredients I use carefully set up to show off my cute manicured hands.
>My nails? Oh, let me talk about that shit for another couple paragraphs.
>popups, please subscribe and register to become a member of the KARYN'S KITCHEN KOMMUNITY or whatever gay shit
>Anyway, tacos. Yeah that's what this is supposed to be about, right? Let me go on and on about my memories of trying tacos at the boardwalk by the beach every summer growing up.
>It was a warm afternoon in July and I smelled the DELICIOUS AROMA of tacos (omg right girlz???)
Shut the fuck up and just post the recipe god damn it.
YEAH I'M MAD.
Also general taco thread.
>>7637837
I hear you man. It's like theyre trying to make up for a shit recipe. You should go to the library and check out cooking section.
>>7637837
Food writing is a thing, and many amateur writers are fucking terrible. Amateur travel writing is worse.
It's annoying as shit, OP.
The general rule is that the recipe is at the bottom.
>>7637837
>Also general taco thread.
Busy Mom here. Just get a to go from Taco Bell!
Cheap.
Decent quality.
Quick.
Hubby and the kids never complain on Taco Tuesday night and I get some peace and quiet to update my food blog.
>>7637837
>needing a recipe for tacos
But yeah I know what you mean. The best people are the ones that say shit like
>i replaced the x with y and it was DISGUSTING never again
and proceed to rate the page based on a different recipe.
>>7637849
kek
>>7637841
I mean, often times it's not a shit recipe and it's actually a good one. It's just all the dumb self-aggrandizing shit you have to scroll past just to get to the ACTUAL recipe is so obnoxious. However, I don't feel like driving to the library when I have the internet here. Also I have great cookbooks but sometimes you just wanna find new inspiration from random recipes online. And 80% of them come from vapid girls who think they need to give their personal background for a fucking taco recipe.
>>7637845
>food writing
Yeah....that must be what it is. Any dumb cunt with a pretty face and selfies can create a blog and become a self-appointed "food critic" or "chef" or "foodie blogger".
I just want to make some badass tacos and I STILL gotta listen to a bunch of dumb cunts' shit.
Made tacos last night, OP.
Want the recipe sans bullshit?
>>7637848
>the general rule is that the recipe is at the bottom
Yeah I know. Or usually in the middle somewhere between all of their dumb musings and the circle-jerk comment section where they all talk about the dumbest shit.
Hell must be a room with a computer, internet, yet the only thing you can do is read the comments sections on these food blogs. For all eternity.
>>7637837
lmao just scroll down nigga
I mean I'm not saying i haven't encountered what you're describing but I don't see why it's such a big deal to just scroll down. Some of my favourite blogs do this. I never read it
>>7637909
The reason that format is popular is because it sells the story of the origin recipe and the personality of the cook, which for whatever reason makes the food seem
More attractive to some people. They're just not really your kind of people is all
>>7637859
>become a self-appointed "food critic"
This is true. But your work has to have some appeal to generate any income. I was a food writer for a while. Had a column in a local paper that had a devoted little following. Got paid $100 an article. Then I realized I was paying my photographer $25 for two pictures and putting an article took 6 hours of my time. So the per hour rate was pretty shit. I enjoyed the tiny little bit of renown it gave me, but it wasn't really worth my time to keep up with.
That said, there are some great food writers out there. I read Robert Sietsema religiously. And I will actually go out and buy cookbooks from the likes of Elisabeth Luard and Fuchsia Dunlop, because both their writing and recipes are fucking great.
When it's done right the paragraph or two that precedes the recipe gives you some insight into the context of the dish - where it came from, who eats it and when.
Also, no offense but who the fuck needs a recipe to make tacos?
The same thing can be said for restaurant reviews by women. It's complete horseshit
>>7637934
I appreciate your response and the recommendations of the authors.
>who the fuck needs a recipe to make tacos
No offense taken, but honestly that's like asking someone why they would need a recipe to make a sandwich. There are tons of boring kinds of sandwiches out there and everyone knows how to make them, but sometimes a great sandwich is more than just bread and filler.
Having said that, I probably won't use a recipe like line-for-line to make tacos tonight, but I just like looking at various interpretations of the simple taco. I mean, there are Korean bbq tacos, baja fish tacos, veal tacos, spicy shrimp tacos.
Just trying to find some inspiration is all and it's annoying to have to wade through the vain bullshit of some chick "foodie" online just to see if the recipe is good or not.
>>7637940
God I know. Or any restaurant reviews for that matter. If you have to type a fucking essay to describe your experience at a restaurant then you're probably a pompous faggot anyway.
>>7637909
1 pound thin cut beef (skirt, flat iron, butcher prepared London Broil)
20 small corn torillas (flour is okay too)
1 can low sodium black beans, drained
2 large green bell peppers
1 medium onion
1 heavy palmful of cilantro
juice of 1 lime
garlic
-Marinade:
1 cup water
1/2 cup vinegar
juice and zest of 2 limes
1 heavy palmful of fresh cilantro
1 tablespoon cumin
2 tablespoons chili powder
salt/pepper
1. Prepare marinade by mixing together ingredients into a large container or 1 gallon freezer bag.
2. Submerse and let sit overnight.
3. Dice the onion. Julian the bellpepper. Wrap the tortillas in foil and set in the oven to warm on very low heat.
4. Heat up a pan over medium high heat. Place beef on the heat and leave unmolested until decently seared or cooked to preferred temperature. Let rest for roughly 15 minutes.
5. Take meat out of the pan, add a small amount of vegetable oil and put in the onions and bell peppers. Salt and pepper to taste and saute until tender.
6. Add in beans , lime juice and cilantro mix and let heat through.
7. Cut the meat against the grain into small, thin slices.
8. Mix meat into vegetables, and spoon into warmed tortillas.
9. Garnish with cheese, salsas, more lime juice, pickled jalapenos - whatever you want.
>>7637964
Oops. Forgot the garlic. Toss that in with the other aromatics to saute.
>>7637964
>>7637976
Thanks, bro. Looks pretty much like my usual recipe, which consists of
1 flat iron steak
2 chicken breasts
Shrimp (optional)
garlic
cilantro
cumin
onion
bell peppers
marinade:
olive oil
worcestershire sauce
fresh lime juice
cilantro
red pepper flakes
dash of sugar
salt&pepper
I havent ever used vinegar for the recipe though. Like white vinegar or any?
>>7637995
>I havent ever used vinegar for the recipe though.
Worcestershire sauce is vinegary; and it's a lot more flavorful than plain vinegar is. I'd stick with that.
>>7637999
nice trips. Thanks senpai.
>>7637952
>Just trying to find some inspiration
Good food writing ought to be inspiring. Here's a recipe for you:
Chorizo potato tacos
Biol a cubed potato. Fry ground pork in a pan. Season with the following: salt, onion powder, garlic powder, paprika, cayenne, cumin, vinegar and a pinch of clove. Add potato to pork when it's nearly cooked. For each taco heat two corn tortillas over a low flame on an open burner (or in a hot pan if you don't have a gas stove). Put one tortilla on top of the other, then run the pork and potato mixture in a line down the center of the taco. Garnish with chopped sweet onion, cilantro and a squeeze of lime. Serve with sliced radishes and cucumbers on the side, and grilled scallions if you're really feeling badass.
(FWIW this is one of the very few times I'd actually use onion and garlic powder. In most cases I'd advocate for fresh all the way, but the powders have been widely embraced in Latino cooking, and have become part of the distinctive flavors most of us associate with it).
>>7638020
A ground pork taco is supposed to be special and inspiring?
>>7638036
I would take it any day over cheap steak.
>>7638036
/ck/ cooks are mediocre at the very best, including you and me.
>>7638052
I would too.
But that doesn't mean it's special or anything. It just means that cheap steaks suck.
>>7638057
To me what's inspiring about many Mexican recipes (and Chinese, for that matter) is the way they apply a carefully worked out array of flavor to ingredients that are really just a step above garbage, and turn them into something delicious. That is inspiring to me.
Because great ingredients are easy - show them off simply and they'll be delicious. Transforming the less than great stuff into something delicious is fucking magic.
>>7637837
I've seen what you speak of. it is frustrating.
I always assumed that that was the price you paid for looking up recipes online. you're better off learning the basic recipe of a dish you're trying to coo, and then experimenting with it from there, so you develop a recipe of your own. Why would you take food advice from a soccer mom who got the recipe from another youtube video anyways?
>>7638074
>ingredients that are really just a step above garbage, and turn them into something delicious.
Pretty much all traditional cuisines do that, and it's a good thing.
But IMHO ground pork isn't exactly a "garbage ingredient". It's what soccer moms buy at the supermarket. The traditional dishes I find inspirational are those which use things like organ meats, feet, skin, etc.
You need a taco recipe, op? i got one bomb af. actually, i remember the first time i had them. I was about 8 and my mother sent my father to the store to pick up the ingredients, my father was a slight man. about 5'9, thick blonde moustache and hair straight out of 70's. He couldn't have weighed more than about 140 soaking wet, which he often was due to his job collecting golf balls in the neihbors pond. He'd wake up at 3am every morning, put on his special diving shorts (a pair of cut off jeans that came up to just below the balls, as was fashionable at the time) and his mesh tank top. he never did find any golf balls but that mans tenacity knew no bounds.
>>7638117
Anyway, i digress. Back to the tacos. The first thing you'll want to do is get in your car or truck. I usually use an automatic transmission myself but i suppose its a matter of taste. My father always drove a manual, i remember. Actually the day i first had them i remember My father was headed to the store to get the necessary ingredients and I begged him to let me come with him as i loved the grocery store. He was hesitant at first because, as he often said, i was "fucking retarded" and he "hated looking at my stupid rat face" but he relented after about 10 minutes of me lying on the floor crying in the fetal position as i often did, and still do when the memories of my childhood come rushing back in.
>>7637837
>that time a co/ck/sucker posted one of his own recipes and it was just as bad
>>7638120
So, anyway hop in your car and head out to the store, i recall that we had hopped into my dads old pickup that day, i didn't care for it much. It was an old blue ford, manual transmission. Perhaps my memories of that truck are why i drive an automatic today, or maybe its because my father refused to teach me how to drive stick, claiming i was "too much of a mongoloid to remember the positions".
>>7638123
That day we headed to the store, i remember my butt hurt the whole way, not due to the seats being inferior, mind you but i was very small and had no ass. I often lamented my bony boy butt and prayed for the day my man ass would come in. That day i asked my father when it would finally come in. He looked at me with a big smile, leaned in real close and hit me so hard in the groin that i pissed blood right there in the truck. this made him rather upset, i don't recall what happened next but i woke up in the store parking lot.
anyway, you get to the store and grab your cart. i loved the store as a child. i recall fondly the aisles and aisles of foods from all over the county lined up before me in the back of that church. I forget what my mother did for a living but i know we had some pull in the community as the grocer would never charge us for our purchases.
>enter page
>novel
>scroll
>click here for recipe
>have to go to another site
>instant popup "subscribe here for our newsletter"
>x it out
>"register to view this recipe"
>throw computer out window
>grab neighbor's cat, bite into flank, spit out fur
>eat cat slav-squatting in corner of empty room with one bare lightbulb hanging from the ceiling
>>7638130
I apologize for all of the digressions but i feel you can't truly understand a recipe until you understand what the creator feels when writing it. What you'll need is :
1 brick cheddar cheese
1 head lettuce
1 container sour cream
1 old el paso taco kit
1 lb ground beef
first you should grate the cheese and chop the lettuce, next heat a medium sized pan and begin cooking the ground beef. it will turn a grayish brown color when done. Add the seasoning packet and a bit of water as per the instructions on the box and cook covered for until the sauce thickens up a bit.
and thats it, fix the tacos however you like and enjoy.
>>7638107
It's all good by me. But to my way of thinking you have to get into offal to go lower than ground pork.
>>7637837
I'm legit considering getting one of those porn blockers but instead of blocking porn I want it to block every site that mentions buzzfeed
>>7637873
What can I make with taco fillings but no taco shells?
I don't feel like going to the supermarket and the grocery store doesn't have them
>>7637934
How does it take you 6 hours to make taco and write a couple paragraphs about them?
>>7638200
Judging on the timestamps I'd say Anon spent about 12 minutes on that little project.
Not a bad return on the investment, honestly.
>>7638206
What "return"? All it did was make him look like a tard.
>>7638212
i kek'd
>>7638212
I think your necktie is a tad too tight. Enjoy some humor, for once. If that lad's attempt didn't tickle your funny bone, well then, move on.
What's the point of making a huff about it on an anonymous picture board for short animated films from the marianas trench?
>>7638219
>better to swing an miss then never swing, senpai.
When the game is this stupid there's no point in even stepping up to the plate.
>>7638222
>Enjoy some humor, for once
Not only was it not funny, it was fucking halfhearted. That ought to have been a wall of text, not a small handful of short posts.
>>What's the point of making a huff about it
Who's making a huff? I simply asked a question. I honestly didn't see what "return" there might have been there. IMHO it was simply a waste of time.
But hey, if you got a chuckle out of it then congratulations.
>>7638223
>when the game is this stupid
You're posting here too, Anon. Looks like you're in the batting order and already got thrown out on the way to the first green.
>>7638179
I was doing general food writing and restaurant reviewing. You have to come up with an arc for the piece, put yourself through the experience, have the photographer capture something a little more interesting than cellphone food pics, write the piece, tighten it up (because the editor wants the leanest possible prose) and send it to the editor for approval. If you're taking the work seriously that can be more than 6 hours for a single piece.
I had free reign because readers liked my work. That was a mixed blessing, because without direction from the editor I sometimes had trouble coming up with a fresh idea every week. The first year was pretty easy, but after that it got harder and harder to avoid repeating myself.
>>7638236
>You're posting here too
I wasn't talking about posting here. I was talking about the specific humor that was attempted.
It would make more sense to interject it into a normal thread, not one that started out discussing the exact "joke" you tried to make.
I'm here to discuss food, not for silly humor.
>>7638253
>I'm here to discuss food, not for silly humor.
oh, you.
>>7637849
Lel
>>7638117
great post
makes m want a taco right now
>>7638242
it sound like you go to a restaurant for a free meal.
As soon as you sit and order you start "working"
they bring you the food, you aet it in about an hour and a half, then you spend another hour and ab half browsing tumlbr on your phone while the photographer takes numerous pictures and texts them to you while you look at them and tell him to move the plate a little, add more sauce or make it tastier.
then you take twenty minutes to write the review and send it 40 minutes after its done to seem busy.
The editor sees hte review and edits it in 5 minutes but takes two hours to send it to you because he is the editor so he needs to seem busier than you
and you fix it, save it and send it hte following day with a mail subject saying sorry, i couldnt send it last night because it kept me up until 2 in the morning :)
and he gives you 50 dollars
please correct me where im wrong
>>7638300
>I have no concept about how the creative process works, so I assume creatives are just goofing off.
>>7638307
im pretty sure you are being creative right now.
plus i have been learning how to draw for over a year, i spent so many entire afternoons practicing the same drawing only to throw everything away because i couldnt do it after 4 hours that i lost count
Why is it that every time you look for a fun thread to read it's almost ALWAYS posted by some self-appointed shitposting autist with a blog that has to write a goddamned fucking novel before actually just posting the point of the thread?
>>7638395
I'm just messing with you, if I could get 50 bucks for a free meal and have a couple hundred retards commenting on how great I am I would do it in the blink of a second.
You are not stupid, it's your fans who are retarded
>>7638405
People read the Dining Out column in the local paper for a variety of reasons. Doesn't make them idiots. And writing it is pretty fluffy work, though it's still work.
>>7638447
Well no, I used to read them too before there where cellphones when I was trapped in some place for a couple hours
I'm talking about fans tho, the people who comment on them beyond just asking cooking tips and the ones who wait for the next column every week.
I mean they are not retarded, just boring housewife's that haven't caught on with the current times like my 70 year old grandma
>>7637849
nice pasta
At least some people have the decency to post the recipe in a separate paragraph instead of mixing the instructions with fucking mounds of useless bullshit.
>First you'll need some celery salt! Now I have love this stuff and remember eating Chicago hot dogs as a kid and bla bla bla......
>Add in some tomatoes. Now it's commonly believed that store bought is always inferior but I found a brand thats just as good as homemade fucking blahzay fucking blah I love hearing myself talk blah blah yak yak......
>>7637837
>He isn't a member of Karyn's Kitchen Kommunity
>>7638523
i blame julia child
