Anyone know how to make the perfect burger?
>>7474871
No such thing as the "perfect" burger.
Unless masses were willing to agree to a consensus like the real chili competions, where a burger is only judged on bun, meat, and condiments - no toppings allowed. There could be a special "Cheeseburger" catagory - bun, meat, cheese, condiments ; also no toppings allowed.
The reasoning there is that because toppings are so fucking variable from place to place and person to person, there's no continuity.
>>7474871
>half ground 80/20 beef and half ground bison
>blended thyme, parsley and onion
>worcestershire sauce and liquid smoke
i call them "swag burgers"
>>7474896
You asked how to make a perfect burger, he gave you a reply.
So let's think about it, yeah he probably thinks it's good.
>>7474895
>liquid smoke
Fuck OFF.
If you want a smoky flavor put them on a goddamn smoker for awhile. Hell, you can even make your own tiny smoker using a wok and foil.
Liquid smoke tastes like chemicals and feces.
>>7474903
Alright, I'll try and make that one. Can't wait to see the final product. Also wtf is liquid smoke?
>>7474871
>take box out of freezer
>open it
>put the burger onto a grill
>warm it up
Done. The perfect burger
The key to this motherfucker is cooking it slowly.
>>7474909
not everybody has access to a smoker, and i only add a little. no it does not taste like chemicals you pretentious faggot.
>>7474920
Pre-prepared frozen patties
>thatpictureofdraketurninghisheadandholdinghishandout.jpg
>>7474910
right here. a little bit goes a long way.
http://www.amazon.com/Colgin-Liquid-Smoke-4-0-Ounce/dp/B0005Z8NCM
>>7474934
For a minute there I thought you mean actual liquid smoke.
>>7474871
minced beef, add egg, bread crumbles, mustard, ketchup, garlic salt, pepper, mix and into a hot oven for 25 minutes.
>>7474939
>add egg
Nice meatloaf patty.
>>7474940
enjoy your no gains mr skeltal
>>7474946
Hey it might taste great. I'm just saying if you add egg and breadcrumbs it ceases to still be a burger.
80/20 or 70/30 beef
minced bacon
any spices/herbs you like senpai
mix that shit all kinds of up.
make meat balls with that shit
Heat you up a skillet with some oil or some kinda grease, bacon might be good.
Throw them balls in that hot grease, wait, wait, a second then pound that fucking ball into a disk. Let that shit finish cooking on one side then flip that ship like a kee of sneakers. Let that side finnish cooking and then slap that patty on a bun with everything you may like.
I prefer mayo, mustard, america cheese, some onions (cooked son) and some jalapenos (also cooked). Then you take that shit and shove it all in your moouf at once and swallow as soon as possible while chugging corona piss.
>>7474954
This guy knows what's up
>>7474871
>Rene Dif
Really?
>>7474966
Kek, you noticed.
turducken burger masterrace
>>7474956
>america cheese
freedom burgers/10
>>7474976
He's the sleaziest fucker in the world.
>>7474983
How so?
Like this
>>7474988
My man, recipe?
>>7474987
He seems like the guy who hits on girls just past the age of consent - even when he's 48 years old .
>>7474994
Well he has done stuff like pushing girls heads into his crotch while on stage.
>>7474994
>He seems like the guy who hits on girls just past the age of consent.
nothing wrong with that.
literally.
>>7475000
>there's literally nothing wrong with being a borderline pedofile
>>7475002
>just past the age of consent
>past the age of consent
no problem there. maybe you should quit torturing yourself over shitty ideals. you might get laid once and a while.
>>7475002
>pedofile
underage b&
>>7474910
It's just wood smoke put through a condenser.
>>7474924
>only flip your burgers once
Broscience detected
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZuDMKXWU_E
>>7474871
butter flavored maple syrup
>>7475002
>4chan
>mad that people are okay with this
>>>/reddit/
>>7474871
Onion and garlic blended to a liquid
Fried to a thick dark green paste
Cool the paste and add smoked paprika
80/20 Beef
2% salt by weight
2 % coarse ground pepper by weight
>>7474871
>freshly ground beef 25-30 fat, patties formed gently
>s&p on them
>grill in high as fuck heat
>home made buns
other than that you can't really do much other than getting fresh ingredients
do mayo yourself as well if you use some
making a great burger is very simple, weird that so many places fuck it up
>>7474927
Look at the ingredients on your precious bottle of shit tier liquid smoke. It's nothing but garbage. Learn to cook, faggot.
>>7477662
Water, Natural Hickory Smoke, Organic Tamari Sauce (Water, Organic Soybeans, Salt), Cane Sugar, Organic Distilled Vinegar, Caramel Color, Salt, Contains less than 0.5% of: Garlic, Onion. Contains: Soy
Ok. What's your point?
>>7477669
The "natural hickory smoke" is literally the shit they scrape off the walls in giant industrial smokers.
Eat your home made burgers out of fast food packaging. Seriously this makes them taste better
>>7477719
Which is literally the same shit that sticks to your meat when you burn hickory wood in a smoker at home.
>>7474871
Get good quality beef. I like a 70/30 mix of chuck and sirloin. Trim it well, no gristle, no silver skin, no thick connective tissues. I like about an 80/20 meat/fat ratio, and there's usually plenty of fat in a chuck roast to make it close. If your butchers are crazy and don't do a chuck roast that way, save your fat trimmings from good cuts to add to your mix.
Grind through a medium fine disc.
Form into 1/2-3/4 inch patties, 8 oz patties.
Don't be shy with salt and pepper.
Grill over medium heat charcoal.
I like butter buns with a thin yet crisp crust, egg washed and salted, sliced and toasted on the grill.
For me, the perfect toppings are a thick slice of Cherokee purple tomato, may 3/8 inch, dill pickle sliced about 1/8 inch thick, red onion rings, about 1/8 inch thick, and bib lettuce.
Favorite condiments: Malted mustard
All that being said, that's a hell of a lot of work to go to for a burger. I don't think I've ever had one with every single one of those elements together, but if I could make it happen, it would be my favorite burger.
Good quality beef and some nice toppings and a decent bun and some yellow mustard and I'm happy. People usually end up making it too dry, so cheese is good in those cases, and if tomatoes aren't in season, ketchup is a good thing.
>>7474954
how so? You think it's crossing the meat loaf/meat ball line at that point?
>>7477724
Yeah, because you get to focus on eating and not on handling a slob tower of compromised structural integrity,
From bottom bun to top bun
>quarter pound patty
>cheddar
>jalapeno
>bacon
>fried egg
>blackberry jam
