Hello /ck/. I am a career drunk.
What is the most cost effective way to get completely wasted every night.
Like some math would be interesting, like cost:alcohol percentage ratios and shit like that
Cheapest bottom shelf liquor you can get.
No math required, just drink until you pass out.
>>7468763
just drink rubbing alcohol like the slavs do.
Vodka, it's always Vodka
>>7468763
Drink gasoline. $2 for a fucking gallon, can't beat that. Its all just ethanol anyway, mix it with something maybe to help the taste but I do this all the time and it works like a charm. It gets you fucked harder than any liquor.
>>7468763
Alcohols with country goodness and green peaness.
vodka.
you're not gonna live very long either, which is even cheaper
>>7468776
what the fuck are you for real
desu I think malt liquor is cheapest in terms of cost/abv
>>7468763
>Mwhaaa... The french...
>>7468809
Yeah alchohol is ethanol. Gas and liquor are the same thing, gas is just the pure form. You have to do something about the taste but its the cheapest and most drunk you can possibly get.
>>7468828
Abbo cunt detected.
>>7468763
Learn how to make bathtub hooch.
>>7468763
Really depends on where you are. In Australia wine makers get tax breaks while other forms of alcohol are taxed depending on alcohol content, so you can get a box of rough wine containing over 30 standard drinks for half the price you'd pay for a bottle of shitty vodka containing 20 standard drinks.
>>7468844
strayan shitposter detected
>>7468850
GOOOOOOOOOOON
>>7468763
Give yourself anal
Everclear usually runs for about 40 cents/standard drink. For the 190 proof version, if it's legal to sell where you live.
Get help. Life with out addiction is much better.
>>7468763
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6P1ifGjvEE
>>7468763
Mathematically, the quickest and cheapest way to get drunk is boxed wine from grocery stores. Check the price and content.
>>7468763
Oh fer fuck sake, no one breaking this down.
You home brew. There's some tools you need to get which you can find easily by giving it a google.
Apart from that, a cost analysis is really simple: yeast, sugar, and water are way the fuck cheaper than alcohol because none of them wind up taxed.
After that you need to do some(a lot) of reading. There are different ways you can fuck up your brew or make it taste like shit, which you need to avoid by controlling things like temperature, cleanliness, and timing.
Bring a pocket calculator to the store and do a volume/$, smaller is better. Buy this shit until you get your brew rig going.
Don't blackout drunk, stay just a little back from that. You need to learn some shit and execute it. Figure any blackout time you do is a waste of cash in the long run.
Other tips would be how to handle "quitting". If you decide to stop drinking, taper it off slowly. Don't try to do it cold turkey, especially after bingeing for awhile, it actually gives you brain damage. You will be able to live longer, therefore maximizing your amount of time spent drunk on earth.
Save money on the side somewhere for a liver transplant when you fuck your liver. DRINK RIGHT.
>>7469121
Home brewing takes effort, planning, and commitment. A true drunkard lacks these qualities.
>>7469121
>it's so cheap!
>minus all the time and work!
We've gone over this many times before, OP.
If you simply google it you'll find many people have done the math, and have concluded that shitty box wine gives you the most bang for your buck.
That said, unless you're a complete lightweight, which would make no sense if you're looking for the most cost effective way to get sloshed, you're going to need to drink so much cheap wine to get drunk that it isn't going to be worth it.
The only one and true answer is bottom shelf, plastic handles of vodka. Mathematically they're just a tad more expensive, but you can take two sips and get where you need to be, as opposed to choking down an entire glass of shitty wine.
Some people will say everclear, but even after you cut it with water to make it drinkable you will still gag.
>>7469117
cheap wine makes me shit like a fucking ketchup bottle.
>>7468828
Not sure if drinking gas has the same effect, but huffing gas has been proven to be the kind of high that kills brain cells the most effectively.
>>7469201
Well it doesn't kill any more brain cells than normal drinking does. Its all shit for you but if he's going to get loaded there is no cheaper way.
>>7468763
Cheap vodka. Douse a cotton ball and shove it deep up your chili ring
>>7469128
This.
Also work in a place where you get drinks. Like in a bar or restaurant. Like me.
I'm dying.
>>7469204
>drinking gasoline is no more dangerous than drinking alcohol
2016
stock up on a shitload of three buck chucks (charles shaw) from trader joe's
drink one every night
![stories-enema%20syringe[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/uxtuwKu.jpg "stories-enema%20syringe[1].jpg")
>>7468763
Get the hardest liquor you can find, and invest in one of these bad boys.
Anal enemas get you about twice as fucked up on the same amount of booze, so 1-2 shots of everclear up the ass will knock your ass down for the whole night.
>>7469230
>one bottle of wine a night
Are you 14?
>>7469235
This.
A bottle of wine is about 4 glasses.
If you a serious alcoholic you have gone way past this point.
A guy broke down alcohol content vs cost via spreadsheet for British Columbia, and sherry was by far the cheapest way to get drunk, followed by 8% cheap beer like molson black
>>7469458
there seems to be a lot of british columbian posters on /ck/
Like fucking what
Getting fuck tease wasted every night? I drink 40% alcohol EVERY night by shots. I take at least 7 shots. It's good to pair these shots with either beer or wine.
Then you choose what you want. Clear or dark, sweet or sour... please don't make me vomit..
>>7469232
>Anal enemas
as opposed to what other kind of enema f.a.m
>>7468828
you mean petroleum? that you get from a gas station? thats not ethanol m8
40%ALC./VOL 1.75 Liters = 10.00-12.00USD
wine and beers vary
>>7469225
How the fuck do you not get that he's joking
homebrew
move to italy
rubbing alcohol
if you want to get drunk every night for the rest of your life:
get drunk then suicide.
>>7468763
A tampon with vodka up your ass
>>7468763
brewing your own beer or distilling your own vodka
failing that shit like this:
http://www.debortoli.com.au/uploads/tx_dbwawardsdata/Traminer-Riesling-Premium-4L-Mockup.jpg
2 for $26 so 880ml alcohol for $26
so less than $30/L pure alcohol
>>7469128
>cut it with water
crush ice and blend everclear with mango nectar 1:4
>>7469526
I don't see how distilling could possibly make anything more cost effective.
Quicker to get drunk, sure, but that's going to cost more money, and you're not getting more alcohol, just concentrating it.
>>7468828
What do you do about the taste? Like what do you add?
>>7469615
A jigger of arsenic gives a citrusy nose and nice subtle almond finish
>>7469124
>effort, planning, and commitment
Sugar, water and turbo-yeast in a closet for one or two weeks.
You now have Kilju, Finnish sugar-wine.
>>7469471
>he's never has a urethral enema
feeling and seeing your ballsack inflate like a balloon is the best thing ever mate
>>7469580
net weight and gross weight (nt wt)
top shelf and bottom shelf quality vs quantity
productivity and supply
producers worry about cost more often as consumers like ourselves concerns lie in getting drunk, it's a business
>>7469676
thats not where your urine comes from senpai but whatever
>>7469620
dont do this mustard gas
3 litre bottles of this.
>>7469715
i've always wanted to try this, even though i cut down on my boozing to just the weekend. being a burger we have a romantic view of those lower class oiks who lay around like bums all day on the dole and suck down like 5 bottles of this stuff a day and wee wee in their trousers lmao :D
>>7469674
holy shit, wut is this shit?
>>7468763
Easy. Take the alcohol percentage, divide it by 100, multiply that by the number of milliliters (or ounces) in the container. That will give you the number of milliliters (or ounces) of alcohol it contains. Next, divide the price by that number, and bam: the cost per unit volume of pure alcohol. Lowest cost per unit alcohol is the cheapest way to get drunk.
Example: 750mL bottle of 40% alcohol for 15 bucks. Gives you 300 mL of pure alcohol, and has a cost of $0.20 per mL of alcohol.
>>7469901
There was a time when I was drinking 2 to 3 bottles of this a day. I'm down to 1 bottle now and am trying cut down more but the doctor told me to do it slowly, seizures, DTs, death and all that. Luckily I have never pissed myself... I think.
The most cost effective way to get drunk is buying industrial grade alcohol. This has been made from other resources such as chipped wood and wastes no budget on flavour and presentation. It's even cheaper than brewing your own poison since they save costs with mass production.
>>7469124
This is a lie or ignorant statement
>dissolve bag of sugar in bin of water
>add yeast
>wait 8 days
>rent a distilling unit from your home brew shop for a day
>repeat
8-12 26s for like 10 dollars of sugar
http://www.247homebrew.com/vodka-making-starter-kit.html/
>>7470041
Wood produces mostly methanol
It would be smart to tell people to get industrial grade ETHANOL before you blind some ignorant hill billies
>>7469949
Kilju. Sugar wine. Literally the bare-minimum amount of ingredients required to make alcohol. Water, sugar, yeast. Done properly with the right kind of yeast, up to around ~20% abv. With freeze-distillation, could up that to potentially upwards of 30%, more if you have a deep-freeze. But that's awful labor-intensive.
Source: 21 year old nerd who was, at one point, a sad, broke, 18 year old nerd with no 21+ friends. And plenty of time on his hands.
>>7468826
Not his finest moment.
>>7469676
>pee comes from your balls
>>7470107
You can buy industrial ethanol that has not been denatured.
>>7469620
>and nice subtle almond finish
almond is code for poison
>>7468763
Drink it up your ass, bypass the liver. That way, whatever you absorb goes straight to your bloodstream, you degenerate faggot asking for advice on a Kazakhstani sheep-herding board about how to get drunk when you can barely afford to do so.
drink from the gel dispensers in your local hospital
except dont do it around my hospital because we added something to make it taste bad and stop homeless guys from drinking it
>>7470713
And arsenic is literally poison
Aren't the high alcohol malt liquors the cheapest way to get fucked up? Like Steel Reserve? Isn't that why bums are always drinking them?
>>7470033
isnt each bottle like 22 units
jesus christ mane
>>7470739
>bypass the liver
err
>>7470754
Bums drink them because you only need some spare change to buy one.
A handle of vodka or a box of wine is much more economical, but requires an investment in the double digits.
>>7469526
Brewing your own beer can have huge upfront costs (I've spent about $1300USD on equipment and plan for a lot more) but 10 gallon batches now cost about $35 per batch. You could do it with a lot less equipment but even then it requires a lot of effort and a lot of commitment.
>>7470776
>10 gallon batches now cost about $35 per batch
Do you buy 50 pound bags of malts, or what?
http://getdrunknotfat.com/get-drunk-not-broke/
It's vodka, then boxed wine (ie Franzia).
But is speed really an issue? Drink what you like and you'll get as drunk as you want.
>>7470804
>but is speed really an issue
>drink what you like and you'll get as drunk as you want
I couldn't drink a case of cheap, macro adjunct lager fast enough to maintain anything more than a buzz.
>>7470796
Yeah I moved to buying my base malts in bulk once I got my slotted roller grain mill. Plus, sometimes I wash and re-use the yeast
>>7468828
Yeah, only problem is gas is not pure ethanol
![vodka001[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/0k5WFBd.jpg "vodka001[1].jpg")
This is the cheapest brand I've been able to find.
>>7470820
Woah, settle down there internet tough guy.
>>7470906
I think it's more about not being able to choke back 5% ABV dish water fast enough for it to matter.
Your internet tough guy would be the one who claims he shotguns a case of natty ice every night in less than half an hour.
>>7468763
Drink on an empty stomach and then eat, it'll hit you faster and may take you where you want to go.
>>7470896
>5 o clock
tip top kek
Cant remember the brand name but there a super cheap Canadian port you can sometimes find. It comes in a 2L bottle and is 20%. In terms of potency*volume/cost is about 4 times cheaper than a standard bottle of mixing tequila.
>>7471188
>palatable tequila
>cheap
>>7471187
My Skol is usually under $11 for a handle, and I'd much rather drink that than the shitty wines in the top three spots.
>>7468763
Make your own alcohol or heaven hill vokda
I remember my uncle used to homebrew his own vodka/wine/blindjuice until my aunt made him stop
about 5 years later I was helping him clear out his garage and we found a crate of bottles that were still brewing, he opened one and went to drink it but I thought it would kill him so I slapped a bottle out of his hand onto the tarmac of the drive
there was about 40 years of engine oil and grease hard soaked into that shit that just come straight the fuck out where the blindjuice had spilt
the crazy motherfucker slapped me, picked up the bottle and started slamming the whole fucking thing
ended up on dialysis
>>7471187
Do people still do Edwards 40-hands?
>>7468763
Get some fucking help. Don't be like your dad.
>>7471226
My dad is a 70s child. He smokes pot daily but rarely drinks more than a single beer or glass of wine at a time.
>>7471219
oh yeah, he also ended up dying in a car crash, killed by a drunk driver while my uncle was on his way to an AA meeting for a 6 month sober chip
shits and roundabouts i guess
>>7471226
My dad is the healthiest man I know besides an underactive thyroid and he drinks a good glass of vodka a night
how do you get a job as a drunk?
>>7471247
the government pays me welfare to kill myself earlier
>>7471250
this t b h famalam
fat nigger
>>7468763
THEY'RE EVEN BETTER RAW
umm ohh umm oh yeah
>>7468828
I don't know, but drinking gasoline does not sound good m8
>>7469526
>Medium/Large business
What in the fuck does that mean? That the company that makes that wine is either a medium or a large business? Why are they so unsure about themselves?
Does it mean that box of wine is ideal for a medium to large business? Who the fuck is bringing fucking boxed wine to a business, even for like a company party? Do they mean to imply there are businesses that fill water cooler jugs with this shit and have a literal wine cooler next to a water cooler?
Why does one box warrant so many vexing questions?
>>7469676
Wut
>>7472836
>What in the fuck does that mean?
It's a judging category for the "Excellence in Sustainability" award. It means that this wine won that award in the aforementioned category.
>>7468828
wait until April 1st for these posts
The close place to me has two 320z 6.0% beers for $3.21 after tax and that's the best I can do when I don't feel like justifying spending $10
when I do spend $10, the publix liquor store has a bottle of 99 Bananas and that's really efficient.
>>7471187
>two buck chuck
Trader Joe's here charge $3. I get the merlot and it tastes exactly like every other red wine I've ever had.
>fortified wine
I won't do it anymore after vomiting drinking a blue juice (Blue MD 20/20)
>high gravity
The only high gravity beer that doesn't taste like shit for some reason is the 8.0% Icehouse beers, "Edge".
>natural ice
I love it
>popov
not bad
>box of wine
I can't wait to try this.
>>7471210
How the fuck do you stomach Skol?
