>no wifey thread
OC coming through.
and because it's rude to start a thread with just one pic, here's some classics
>>7405770
There would be something there if the chicken were even slightly browned.
>>7405777
>>7405784
>>7405770
Is that a few dollops of some sort of creamy fish product?
>>7405789
i almost wish i could tell you, but i'm probably happier not knowing
>>7405786
That's not too bad. It's just nothing to brag about.
>>7405789
From what I assume, the pink thing is chicken breast, and that was the drippings from the pan that she poured on the potatos as a "gravy"
showed up on my feed
god knows what the hell that is
>>7405770
It's like a time capsule to myself staring to learn to cook at 19 years old, except it's married women thinking they can cook...
>>7405770
How do you even get chicken that color? Boiling it or steaming it?
>>7405770
These are all photoshop, right? Please tell me these are all someone trolling and taking the piss....right?
>>7405799
>gravy
'tis au jus, m'lady
>>7405835
>i'm guessing steaming or microwave
You might have nailed it with the microwave. Didn't even think of that but it makes sense.
>>7405803
>doesn't enjoy the odd bowl of grape soup
well, guess my opinion of /ck/ remains unchanged
>>7405786
>mylobolamustbehigh
Translate?
>>7405869
fucked if i know
>>7405869
my wolf [la-- dunno, maybe just an expression of levity, maybe some sort of indication of being romantically attached to the lobo] must be high
>>7405869
Googling "labola" returns this:
noun: (among southern African peoples) a bride price, especially one paid with cattle.
She's saying she's a valuable wife.
>>7405777
>pan seared
my sides are on their way to aid mark watney
>>7405803
WHY IS IT ON THE FLOOR
>>7405901
err... sorry, I meant to say googling "lobola" not "labola"
>>7405770
>>7405803
hominy, chitlins and pig feet
>wine starter kit
dont even know
>>7405909
CRACK HOUSE
>>7405777
>pan-seared hotdogs
what the fuck
>>7405930
it's fine if you cut them up
>>7405931
No... it's not...
>>7405901
Thanks google sleuth, I kept thinking the lobola was two words.
>>7405786
The spaghetti O's are a bit weird, but otherwise that looks like a pretty solid breakfast.
Presentation isn't great but again its nothing to ridicule. Would eat/7.
>>7406028
not a single thing on that plate is food porn
>>7405930
>pan-seared hotdogs
how are you supposed to cook them? i've always done it this way ....
>>7406201
God invented microwaves for a reason u noob
>>7405770
tubby custard?
>>7405777
I'd eat that at 2am while drunk. I don't see the issue.
>>7405918
I had that same thought anon.
>>7405770
What the fuck am I looking at?
>>7406470
A murder scene.
>>7406582
>rip self respect
>>7405786
Looks pretty ok compared to the other stuff.
>>7406470
Ja/ck/'s chicken.
>>7405930
It's actually really nice
You begin by sautéing sliced white onion, and place a hot dog (severed down the middle) onto the bed of oil and onions.
The frying exaggerates the cleft, and makes it easy to serve the onions down the middle of the sausage along with whatever else you want.
Had hot dogs like this all the time from a stand in the city, whenever I would be taken to the dentist as a kid. In hindsight, this wasn't a great idea, but the hot dogs were tasty.
>>7407420
It isn't the quality of the food, it's the audacity of the women to think they have any sort of talent or value because they can throw together pre-cooked shitfood in the easiest way. I'm sure a lot of it is fine but it doesn't make you wifey material.
>>7405770
>you keep getting better and better!!!
>this is an improvement on what she used to make
jesus christ
my wife's boyfriend cooks an exceptional lazania
my girlfriend's husband loves my lazania
my wife's daughter's boyfriend loves fried chicken. It reminds him of home.
>>7408110
Isn't "wifey" a term used primarily amongst citizens of the esteemed black community?
Perhaps this sort of cuisine is indeed what is required of a wifey.
>>7408496
Not really.
>>7405786
>Spanish omelette
that's a fucking quiche you daft cunt
>>7408496
wifey transcends race, anon
>>7408720
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spanish_omelette
>>7409068
>>7405803
>>7405786
>>7405784
>>7405777
>>7405770
THIS MAKES ME SO MAD
who the FUCK thinks any of this is "cooking"
I swear to god I'd like to beat women who serve kid food to their husbands like they're god's gift to the world... hot dogs and mac and cheese... maybe when I was fucking five.
men marry these women and I'm fucking single?? I COOK LIKE A GOD.
>tfw no hungry bf to cook 3 meals a day for
>>7409111
hey bb were u at?
>>7405770
I think it looks kind of good.
>>7409111
>>7409126
maybe you just need to put out more. the pussy game gotta be tight to eat like a broke child everyday
>>7406201
boiling them or grilling them
>>7409135
Is that an uncooked chicken breast?
>>7409149
I wanna say a slice of ham, but who knows
>>7409068
Jesus, this is horrifying.
>>7409149
Bacon probably
>>7405777
>Pan seared hotdogs
>>7409135
how am I supposed to put out when no one is dating me ;~;
>>7409177
you put out to get people to date you, duh
>>7409182
What's that stuff in the bowl? Do I even want to know?
my wife did bibimbap this for lunch
>>7405786
>>7409095
>>7409118
>>7409135
>>7409182
>>7405777
I'd make/eat it, but wouldn't be proud of it. Only issue here is that they treat it like they're god's gift to home cooking when it's the same slop that anyone who can turn on a stove, myself included, eats daily.
>>7405770
>>7405803
Now this... I literally do not understand how one fucks up food this hard
>>7409190
after a point you just have to stop trying to make sense of it
>>7409182
>you put out to get people to date you, duh
iii don't think that's how it works senpai
but while we're on the subject
are you volunteering?
>>7409126
Me too girlie, which one?
>tfw no gf to cook delicious nutritious post workout meals with
>>7409207
hm?
you hook up at the club and 3 months later you're feeding him toaster strudels and chef boyardee
for bae.
>>7409228
>tfw from Ohio
Alas, we will never meet ;_;
>>7409111
LONDON
O
N
D
N
As a Wifeymateriologist, breakfast is the most common meal basic bitches will congratulate themselves over. Research into this phenomenon leads me to hypothesize that a woman is a good wifey if she can throw down in the club the night before, but wake up and make breakfast in the morning for her bae.
>>7409266
STOP IT
THAT'S NOT REAL
>>7409282
>>7409251
Did she seriously microwave Kraft singles on bread?
>>7409286
QUAID
START THE REACTOR
>>7409251
what in the fuck, is there plastic still on the cheese product?
>>7409286
>>7409286
>>7409126
Their personalities are probably less abrasive than yours. You write like an annoying cunt.
>>7409321
yeah?
well you write like a self-centric master of pretension
this is fucking 4chan, if I'm not allowed to be an asshole here then what?
>>7409149
definitely ham. Hence the pineapple.
>>7409251
Did they not take the fkin plastic off it?
Wtf?
>>7409375
no thats what happens to american cheese when you try to melt it
>>7406201
Hold them over your stove with a fork till they're black.
>>7409401
I personally like to build a small fire on my kitchen floor.
the burned-wood taste really makes them gourmet.
>>7409339
>>7405786
That looks fine other than the fucking spaghetti-o's dumped on there.
> People seriously microwave chicken.
And I thought I couldn't cook very well (or rather, my repertoire is limited to soups, stews, stir frys and basic dessets like cookies).
>>7409339
I thank God for my wife ever time I see these threads.
> These women can't even cook and have husbands.
> Some of the husbands are actually good people.
Awful feels.
>>7409367
> help, someone insulted me on an anonymous image board
>>7409339
>pot of stu
>>7409367
post food. r u sure ur not wifey material?
>>7409339
this one cracks me everytime
>stu
>>7409068
is that canned spaghetti on top of plain spaghetti
>>7409095
looks decently cooked but is presented in the worst way imagineable
>>7409493
pls marry me
i'm a manlet tho, and i live in arizona and desu i don't know how to cook
on a side note; >tfw worried i won't like what my wife cooks
pls no
>>7409549
I don't mind if you're a manlet
but you better not mind that I'm an inch short of six feet tall.
also my pet peeve is picky eaters. I don't expect you to like everything but I do expect you to try everything.
>>7409490
This dummy has never had super sketti
Why are so many autists trying to flirt with some fat chick in this thread pls no
>>7405770
looks like someone came on the chicken
>>7405770
>>7409149
We call that gammon in the UK. It's ham steak.
>>7409367
You're not just being a cunt though, you're being a cunt who definitely comes from Reddit or Tumblr, has no brain and has spent less than a year on 4chan. If you must stay, you would probably be more at home on /cgl/.
>>7409203
Good old... Crointing?
That's not a... what?
Urbandictionary says something about the name of one dude who rolls really crusty joints or something. I claim that this is not sufficient answer.
>>7409266
HOW DO YOU FUCK UP GREEN BEAN CASSEROLE
>>7409661
I'd fuck with that. Looks like pork and sauerkraut.
>>7409778
Easy...just add Cheerios and bake for an extra 3 hours on low heat.
>>7409339
You mean they're going to have this reheated the next day?
>>7409118
Looks like a pretty good Carbonera to be honest
>>7409788
needs black pepper
>>7409266
That's not a casserole. That's an ASSEROLE.
>>7409788
Nice meme
>>7409286
i dont know what dressing means in wifeymaterial but FUCK ME
>>7409182
>DO NOT MICROWAVE IN BOTTLE
americans have to be reminded not to put plastic containers in the microwave? jeez
>>7410022
>#foodporn
It does kinda remind you of a grainy 70s porn where all the girls have monster hair diapers
>>7409286
Oh fucking hell, haven't laughed this much in a month.
>>7410024
Here dumbass
>>7409826
This thread is triggering me due to being reminded of my childhood diet.
I love my mother but by god she was a lazy cook with everything other than roast (even if she overcooked the shit out of it).
What people don't seem to get with a lot of these is that the terrible mishmash of ingredients is the 'cook' trying to get a variety of nutrients into you with what they have at hand. Except for the obvious ghetto ones.
>>7410136
This one isn't real. Nope.
>>7410144
It's from a /ck/ thread about entomophagy from a few weeks ago. People started sharing their farms, and shopping the pics.
>>7410147
Is that shit on a bun
>>7410153
I'll shit on your bun ;))))
>>7410138
>what people don't get is that by slapping together hotdogs, Cheerios, apricot jam, and cream cheese in a slow cooker, the cook is trying to hit a wide spectrum of available nutrients
That's like explaining to the fire marshal that the house you built out of old carpets, rubber tires, wood scraps and cardboard isn't actually a fire hazard because your intentions were good.
Don't make excuses for a mother who was too lazy to perform the most basic of her maternal responsibilities.
>>7409095
She ordered take out from outback steakhouse
>>7409182
"you have to eat all the eggs!"
>>7409194
I envy you my wife should be able to cook better than or as well as I can
>>7409266
Were they supposed to use corn flakes, realized they didn't have any and substituted cheerios?
wife was gone 9 days (business)
this
feels good man
>>7409339
My dad likes to cook hotdogs in a pot of chili. It's never been a problem for us.
wet tacos coming through
>>7410196
Never met a taco I wouldn't eat
....till now.
>>7410024
classic yurop talking on things he neither knows about nor is his concern
>>7410155
thats good eats
>>7410193
a true cu/ck/
>>7410217
Man I have seen a lot of chicken poop in my day, and that right there is fucking chicken poop.
>>7410155
fuck I did a double take. I love canned seafood and was afraid I drunk uploaded something
>>7410231
dumb memester
>>7410225
how about these?
>>7410234
That looks messy but it could be good.
>>7410117
Seedy
>>7410246
Most of the stuff she makes is good, presentation is just terrible sometimes.
>>7409126
OREGON
R
E
G
O
N
I'll quit guzzling beer and deep throating pizza for you qt
>>7410240
Norke jævler..
>>7409661
Not the worst thing, though all of that is probably canned.
>>7410225
I said the same thing to ur mum m8
>>7409779
The girl or the plate?
>>7410313
both
>>7409111
>>7405803
Why is it on the floor??
>>7409339
Rip stu
>>7409068
Is that canned spaghetti pored over thin pasta??
>>7410024
I have to constantly remind my girlfriend that her two non microwavable cannot be used in the microwave. Our roommate also got super pissed when I pointed out to her those bowls are not microwave safe.
>>7409194
This doesn't even look cringe worthy, edibleasfuck/10
![980x[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/qDO5QRx.jpg "980x[1].jpg")
>>7410600
>Our roommate also got super pissed when I pointed out to her those bowls are not microwave safe.
What. Why?
>>7405835
>microwaving
PEOPLE MICROWAVE THEIR CHICKEN? HOLY SHIT WHO
>>7409251
>I no I'm next n line for a blessing
>I no I'm next n line
>I no I'm
>next n line
>can't even hashtag properly
>>7410605
That steak looks like jerky.
>>7410605
She's super defensive and seemed to want to question what it even meant. I told her she's melting plastic into her food, but do whatever you want. The bowl is called nan microwavable for a reason. She angrily swapped it into a different bowl and I walked away.
>>7408496
wifey is from BRITAIN my amerifriend
>>7409217
>slowcooking rice
what went through his head?
>>7410600
I got some decorative plastic bowls as a housewarming gift. They are non-microwavable, and not dishwasher safe. I ended up donating them a few years later to goodwill. I never used them as I can't be fucked to handwash plastic bowls.
>>7410595
Tinned spaghetti over normal spaghetti I'd say. Because why not show them you can boil spaghetti when you feed them student food?
>>7409237
are those turds?
>>7410696
That's just cheesy
>>7410708
What am I even looking at?
>>7409203
God I love a good bowl of hot hog after a night of belligerent crointing
>>7409237
Not so bad, just needs a little better presentation.
>>7409203
>awesome night of crointing
>top hog meal
>looks like somebody baked vomit in a glass dish
I dont even
>>7410710
Welcome, newfriend.
>>7410721
Top kek
>>7410726
Not turning your meat into charred leather would help too.
>>7410217
If this was in two bowls it would look normal.
>>7410708
I've cooked worse.
>>7410761
I guess, but there are quite a few people who are fond of blackened sausages.
Anyone else find these threads damaging to their ability to be happy?
I am pathetically alone and have no gf and the only thing I enjoy is imagining myself having a gf. I have become so desperate for illusion that I have intentionally started cooking unhealthy food for myself then pretending it was served by my 'wifey' so she could brag on instagram. Last night I ate some microwave rice with ketchup, tinned baked beans and the crust from an out of date sausage roll, served on a plate made of mayo. I have gained 10lbs in 4 weeks doing this but at least it helps me pretend I have a gf.
>>7410780
The sausages may be salvageable, but there's no saving what I think is steak.
>>7409194
is she single
>>7410783
Stop.
>>7410783
You are losing your mind. Seek guidance.
>>7410804
is that some kind of meat on the left?
>>7410807
It's milksteak. Boiled over hard
>>7410807
Welcome to /ck/, we hope you're enjoying your first visit.
>>7410804
Not preferring your milk steak over hard with a side of raw jellybeans.
>>7410789
>my wife
>is she single
>>7409194
can i be your wife's boyfriend?
think of the memes man.
>>7409194
do dolsot bimbimbap next time
>>7410136
this one is cute because those worms are getting their ideal, nutricous, tasty meal. this is a bait image but its the most good hearted one in the thread
>tfw cousin got married a girl who doesn't cook
Every wifey thread makes me happy that I know how to cook.
>tfw mom was the wifey
I sometimes wonder why I didn't inherit this pleb taste.
>>7409211
>the fucking spoon handle in the potatoes
>>7409155
This one's probably not serious, considering she made the epitome of a "just got home from 3rd grade" lunch.
>>7409407
>Macaroni, water and chicken.
>>7409111
I kind of feel you, but don't be so mad, femanon. Women like that marry the first piece of trash that offers. I mean, any guy I would want to marry, if he came home to fucking hotdogs and mac and cheese I'd be denied sex for a week.
>>7411061
>>7410832
>canbage
Also looks dry and bland as fuck.
>>7410846
well observed, captain obvious!
>>7405803
Tonsil stones, garbage bag and fetus.
And grape soup
>>7410846
What about your wife's son's girlfriend's husband?
>>7409111
>I COOK LIKE A GOD
and you probably eat like one too, tubby
>>7410832
hehehehe>>7410832
>>7410832
the presentation
>>7406260
probably had to check if it was cooked thru
>>7409779
looks like canned tuna to me
>>7410240
äcklig människa
>>7410217
>no one's going to mention the ketchup and mustard drizzle on the side?
what are you supposed to mix that with? the rice or the afterbirth?
or are you supposed to scoop that into the soup?
>>7410298
oh shit
>>7410843
yeah, but she didn't even take the time to halve the jelly beans
>>7410832
>canbage
>>7410024
there is such a thing as microwave safe plastic, even here in yurop.
>>7410024
There is microwaveable plastic that you can put in the microwave though, it depends on if it is marked for it
>>7410783
seek help anon
>>7410783
Honestly bro, online dating. You can find a mildly unattractive chick with few flaws that will deal with all of yours. That's like a middle of the road scenario, you could get luckier. Worst case scenario is stalker or aids, but those are easy enough to avoid.
>>7409462
Stop right there nigga
>>7408099
That sounds great, but the picture showed hot dogs that were burned slightly on the outside and otherwise normal.
Anyone have the video of the woman almost cutting herself while chopping onions?
>>7411479
You talking about Marie's Italian Oil Sauce?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7Md4YR75qU
