Help, /ck/.
There's a qt π cashier at my local grocery store that I'm going to ask out one of these days. What should I have in my cart when I do this to look like less of a slobbish pleb? One assumes that my chances are worse if I'm buying my usual instant noodles and beer.
Just give her a big tip for helping check you out
>>7316359
Doesn't matter what's in your cart. And if you think it does, you're gonna fail.
>>7316359
what a strange form of peacocking. are you going to want to try to impress her every day for the rest of your life? you should just strive to be the kind of person that impresses people, and you'll probably start to hate her if you can't just b urself.
>>7316359
Duct tape, rope, lighter fluid.
>>7316359
I don't think food will help. Make sure you're getting the largest sized condoms they sell. I picked up a chemist this way once.
She dumped me the morning after she saw how small my penis actually is, but I got that one experience with her that I never would have otherwise.
>>7316374
>just b urself.
This
There's literally no way to ask out a grocery store cashier without coming off as a creep.
Your best bet is to wait in the parking lot for her shift to be over and follow her home to see where she lives. Look up if she's on any social media and find out what she likes, and where she goes on her days off.
Casually run into her somewhere far away from the grocery store and pretend not to recognize her at first, but then remember her first name and start up a conversation.
The rest is up to you.
>>7316374
Jesus Christ. How much time do you expect to spend with a single woman?
You just fuck them a few times and move on. Anything else and you're a literal cuck.
yeah good fucking idea OP go to 4chan and let a bunch of sperglord teenagers tell you to buy sixteen pounds of steak to establish that you're a virile alpha male that'll get the fucking cashier to date you
>>7316359
The translation under the words, "next customer" is "...can go fuck himself."
>>7316412
you think it's manly to put your penis into multiple women without fathering a child? what are you, infertile or something?
>>7316359
Straight talk, OP.
Don't do it. Unless she has very overtly expressed interest, and by this I mean more than casual flirting, you will never be able to shop there again. Be honest with yourself and decide whether she regards you differently to any other customer. One of the sleaziest things you can do is come on to somebody who is stuck being nice to you as part of their job. You are not likely to ever meet a viable future partner who is standing behind a counter.
>>7316433
Who said anything about not procreating? I probably have a few times, but sure as fuck don't want anything to do with the little shit.
>>7316452
>don't want anything to do with the little shit.
that's probably because you know you'd be a bad father and the woman a bad mother
>>7316465
So what? It's the most successful evolutionary strategy, and as my natural instinct is to stick with it I'm obviously a successful product of evolution.
>>7316359
i worked as cashier for two years a few years back. was 17/18
let me promise, we dont give a fuck what you buy nor do we actually notice. id say the only thing we might notice is alcohol, and thats ebcause its heavy as shit and we /might/ have to ID you.
other than that, we dont care not do we actually look at the things we scan.
dont believe me? look at the cashier the next time you're in line. they hardly ever look down and if they do its just so they dont have to look at your fucking face or they are actual autists.
for real OP, do NOT try to be that charming guy who looks like channing tatum or some handsome british guy and hit on her in line. I'd suggest something simple, straightforward and direct. as you go to leave, ONLY IF SHE ISN'T BUSY i guess you could say something like
"hey, shot in the dark here, but would you like to get coffee with me sometime? That'd be real nice" or some other casual invitation. if she says no then you act embarassed and say like "okay no problem, see you later then." with a cheerful inflection
and you will be embarassed if she says no. she'll tell her coworkers and they'll laugh at your expense but it'll end eventually. what you have in your cart matters a whole lot less than how your hair, facial hair, and clothes look. just be confident and casual and if you get shot down, hey, it makes it easier to get shot down in the future, cause you know how it feels
>>7316475
>It's the most successful evolutionary strategy
you're delusional. having offspring and not raising them means they're going to be dead ends and your genetic line will be weak. even dogs raise their pups to take care of themselves.
hey op, same person as >>7316477
its honestly not gonna work unless you become a regular. and i mean lonnng time regular. some random being interested in you is something that happens 30 x a day. and even if she was interested in you, she couldnt show it to you or else she would be fired. [not to mention, cashiers hardly have the time for actual small talk, outside of the talk they do while ur in line]
if you are truly invested. go very slow. learn her name. become a regular. and maybe, a few months down the line, u might get a score at her.
>>7316487
It's the mother's job.
>>7316491
>he thinks women know how to raise children
>>7316405
As creepy as this is it's actually not that bad of a tactic.
Two boxes of Magnum condoms and Vaseline.
>>7316511
An artist could pull it off. Most people would receive a restraining order.
Even if you did pull it off, you'd have to forever keep your stalking a secret. Or maybe you could end up marrying her and keeping it a secret until you whisper it to her on your deathbed and completely alter the way she views her history.
I think this is my new fetish.
>>7316501
>>Falling for the brestfed jew
>>7316522
Monster condoms for his magnum dong
>>7316359
magnum condoms for your monster dong
Honesty bro? Plan a party. Stock up for that party. Be all "Hey you're cute. I'm having a party, and it would be cool if you'd like to come, maybe bring a few friends."
Boom. Moderate as hell creep levels. You give her a softball in, and a softball out. You allow a huge buffer to the proceedings, and you can shut it down if things aren't working out with minimal awkwardness.
>>7316359
I'm gonna be honest with you OP, if you haven't had an idle conversation with her by now then it's probably not going to work out. Having a strategy for basic human interaction never works out.
Personally, I think you should just start working out. If you start next week you should be moderately attractive by April.
>>7316679
LOL. Not OP, but it would be at least three years before I were moderately attractive. This is very misleading advice for most channers. We come here because Twitter failed us. We are the very essence of societal misery.
>>7316688
>This is very misleading advice for most channers
Yeah, "most". But seriously, just go to /fit/ and read the sticky.
get a casual job there
>>7316706
Go to /fit/? I thought that place was exclusively LGBT.
>>7316706
Why? Has it changed since halfway through last year?
>>7316359
Modestly sized kielbasa
>>7316384
That's so sad
>>7316359
she has a bf / gf already or is married.
>>7316446
>>7316819
beat me to it. My advice was first find another place to shop for when she stifles her laughter as she's rejecting you and you feel too awkward to ever set foot there again.
>>7316475
Are you black?
>>7316412
Damn, sucks to get cheated on. Sorry m8
For OP, if only he was a gril
http://pastebin.com/hRhnF38b
>>7316660
Listen to this dude.
He seems smart.
