Your favorite chef is imprisoned in your basement. What do you

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Your favorite chef is imprisoned in your basement. What do you feed him/her/xir? 2016-01-23 06:52:06 Post No. 7299094
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Your favorite chef is imprisoned in your basement. What do you feed him/her/xir? Anonymous 2016-01-23 06:52:06 Post No. 7299094 [Report]

For instance, imagine how exciting it would be to chain Chef Eric Ripert to a chair and force feed him emulsified McGriddles™ through a beer bong, waging relentless chemical warfare on his refined palette. When he wasn't enjoying McDonalds, he's be listening to Limp Bizkit at ~100-120 decibels under constantly flickering lights. Eventually, he would be free to go, but only after he stuck a baguette halfway up his butt, so that a fair portion still extruded for the world to admire. He would be released in the middle of a Black Twitter flash mob so that his greatness could be thoroughly documented in an urban vernacular.

Or you could bind YouTube qt Rachel Khoo, and waterboard her with some bubbly Charles Shaw until she was hiccuping and amorous. We would copulate, not for pleasure, but as an act of husbandry. Towards the end of the second trimester, we'd pry her delicate fetus out of her, grill it over mesquite and then preserve it in a vinegar made from her amnion, for a baby escabeche. I would oblige her to post everything she's enjoying on Instagram, the better to start some new food trends.

The possibilities are endless, /ck/. What will you do with your basement chef?

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Anonymous 2016-01-23 06:57:59 Post No.7299106
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Anonymous 2016-01-23 06:57:59 Post No.7299106 [Report]

My first reaction would be to wonder why do I suddenly have a basement, how the fuck Gordon Ramsay got there, and what I'm going to tell to the police.

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Anonymous 2016-01-23 06:59:09 Post No.7299110
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Anonymous 2016-01-23 06:59:09 Post No.7299110 [Report]

BASED EMERIL WOULD ONLY GET TO EAT ICE CREAM AND BISCUITS

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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:01:19 Post No.7299115
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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:01:19 Post No.7299115 [Report]

Could be like that movie Saw but instead have Jamie Oliver and Heston Blumenthal chained to the wall.

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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:01:40 Post No.7299116
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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:01:40 Post No.7299116 [Report]

They have to eat ALL the eggs.

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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:02:11 Post No.7299118
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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:02:11 Post No.7299118 [Report]

First I would wonder why the OP picked those two chefs, then I would probably let my chef go.

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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:04:01 Post No.7299120
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Anonymous 2016-01-23 07:04:01 Post No.7299120 [Report]

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>>7299106

maybe if you make an artisan pizza for him, it will make it all ok

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Anonymous 2016-01-23 12:23:03 Post No.7299557
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Anonymous 2016-01-23 12:23:03 Post No.7299557 [Report]

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Can I let my chef roam free throughout the basement? It's a finished space and has a bedroom and bathroom. I'd lock the door and windows of course, to keep chef safe.