Consider that any proper searing of meat (or cooking for that matter) is very likely going to create a small mist of grease that a splatter screen and/or vent hood can't contain. Every vertical surface including your floors is now covered in grease.
There's a few solutions as I see it: you can mop after every meal (impractical if you cook three times a day), wear slippers in the kitchen (wearing and removing them at the door) with every family member and roommate abiding by the rules, or just ignore it. Enjoy getting a glass of water before bed, and getting inside the sheets with those same feet or socks. If you wear slippers, then you've tracked it throughout the entire house.
Same with handling raw meat and eggs. There's only so much you can do to contain it. I see cooks on YouTube touching the outside of their pepper mill or spice jars between flipping over pieces of meat. I use tongs when seasoning meat or just wash my hands a thousand times. Chances are you waste paper towels (and your hard-earned money along with it).
What are the chances I'd come into your kitchen and find a floor that hasn't been mopped recently? Grease on the walls? Crumbs and dust on the counter? How is indoor cooking not supposed to be absolutely disgusting?
>>7244470
>i'd invite a fucking spaz like you into my home.
>>7244476
My kitchen is pretty disgusting for what it's worth. I've slowly been cooking outside more and more as I question how and why things are done.
>>7244470
This:
Relax
I'm pretty laid back about these things. I'm not the tidiest, but since we've bought a house I've tried to improve my housekeeping game. I do wipe down the counter and stovetop regularly, but the floor I only spot clean and sweep at least twice weekly. I am, however diligent about avoiding cross contamination when it comes to meat, eggs, etc.
>>7244500
Getting there a little at a time.
>>7244521
Say you go to the supermarket and buy a package of meat like 99% of working people have to do (no matter how much you want to pretend to always go to the butcher).
It comes in a tray wrapped with plastic. If you puncture and tear it too quickly, you risk flinging juices across the kitchen. So you get a knife and carefully open, but now the knife is dirty and the dishwasher is closed. You wash your hands so you can open up the dishwasher. Then you grab the knife and put it in the dishwasher. Then you have to wash your hands again.
Is that the kind of diligence you're talking about?
Don't worry too much about me. I'm in therapy.
>>7244470
Oh darlin, it's a kitchen, not an operating room. If ya kitchen is clean ya ain't using it right.
Did I need to sass that? Yes.
>>7244470
I cook mostly plant based at home, so I don't have to worry about shit like cross contamination. When I go out to eat part of what I'm paying for is somebody else worrying about shit like that.
I just clean once a week.
you might think a little grease on your floor is disgusting but its more sanitary than 99% of the homes in the world
>>7244539
I always open the meat (plastic wrapped or paper wapped) in the sink anyway. I use my hands or a utensil to put it in the pan or bowl, then I toss the utensil in the sink and wash my hands. Anything that touches the meat gets tossed in the sink, then after the meal I toss it all in the dishwasher. It's not too difficult. Sometimes I use a plastic bag as a glove and then just toss it in the trash.
>>7244550
I don't care so much about the kitchen being clean or not. It's whether or not it's contaminating the rest of the house. If you go to get a beer while watching a movie, and the refrigerator handle is filthy, now the remote is.
>>7244539
You need a bit of bacteria, anon. There are lots of bacteria inside you right now, and in your hair, and on your fingertips, and on the inside band of your pants after you raised your pants post-crapping but before washing your hands. But those ain't going to kill you.
Living in a bacteria-free bubble will not do your immune system any good though.
>>7244566
That's pig disgusting. I clean as I cook and I finish cleaning before I even sit down to eat unless it's an enormous job. I would then clean up everything upon finishing my meal. But I walk into a completely clean kitchen to cook and walk out of a completely clean kitchen after cooking.
I couldn't stand walking into the kitchen later that evening for a drink and seeing a bunch of dirty dishes laying around with food stuff on the stove, counter tops and sinks. Totally unacceptable and I would never share a kitchen with anyone who left messes because they are too fucking LAZY to spend 5-10 minutes cleaning up.
>>7244578
Holy shit, you're a 1950 Jewish mother level germophobe.
>>7244470
Have an outside kitchen poor fag. We live in Texan, we have a kitchen patio. Fucking cook whatever you fucking want. The wall's break, the floor's concrete. Fuck it up yo!
>>7244579
True. My main concern is greasy floors and tracking that through the house and into the bed. If you like to bake, then that flour is going to get fucking everywhere if you don't quarantine the place off.
>>7244586
For the inevitable person who is going to think this is OP, it's not.
I do like their anger, though.
>>7244589
Not so much concerned about the germs as I am about having a greasy or sticky remote control, keyboard, door handles, etc.
>>7244595
Easy, hang the mops and place the cleaners by or near the kitchen, have a sanitizer and soap by the sink handy, and put a rug at the entry points of your kitchen.
If you're talking about microscopic traces of grease and whatnot... please continue with the therapy.
>>7244606
I saw this out my window this morning.
>>7244653
I think I might do that, actually. Thanks.
>>7244661
Have you seen Inglourious Basterds?
>>7244613
If your vent hood doesn't work cover your electronics when cooking. I live in a small apartment, and I cook meals twice a day. I also am a musician. Sensitive gear like instruments and microphones live in cases when they're not being used. Never hard a problem.
>>7244678
Won't you get them on the instruments anyways when you open the filthy cases?
>>7244661
you're going to get the bubonic plague
>>7244675
Multiple times, why?
i'm not super clean.. i don't care
i microwave my dish scrubbers and dump baking soda on most surfaces regularly
seems to work ok
my friends know what a slop i am and still eat my food so it can't be that bad
>>7244613
>greasy or sticky remote control, keyboard, door handles, etc.
You know what, this is off-topic but it really reminded me of this.
You better thank the heavens you don't live on the second floor of a bbq restaurant with faulty vents.
>>7244682
Jew hunter talks about how squirrels and rats are both rodents, but only one of them revolts us. I understood the point he was trying to make, but it was stupid because rats are like cockroaches in comparison to squirrels which are probably even cleaner than household cats.
Anyways, I hope you plan on cleaning those utensils.
>>7244689
triggered
>>7244694
I took the photo and texted it to my husband while he was at work.
>You should probably run these through the dishwasher.
I'm in Southern California, so with El Niño and all we probably won't be using them for a month and a half or so. But they will be sterilized. I just thought the pic would trigger OP.
>>7244679
Shit doesn't build up that fast. It would take a decade to be a concern unless you didn't have any vent hood.
>>7244705
Non-american here and I don't have a dishwasher, but isn't that supposed to be more water efficient than hand-washing plates?
>>7244710
I thought they were talking about the drought too, but I think they just mean that the weather is bad and won't be grilling anytime soon.
To answer your question, yes.
>>7244710
I don't know about that, I always hand rinse them before I put them in, but I'm not sure if my dishwasher is efficient enough to skip that step yet. I just know I like that it sterilizes everything with the steam.
But yeah, I was talking about the weather.
>>7244586
Fucking this. You can literally eat directly from my kitchen sink. The idea of a "slop sink" is repulsive.
If you can't keep a sanitary, immaculate kitchen, get back in the chimp cage.
>>7244735
You don't have kids, do you?
I think my kitchen is pretty damn clean, but now and again there are dishes in the sink, or some crumbs on the counter, or maybe I left the peanut butter jar out because shit happens. People with super clean homes freak me out. My friend is like this since she got married. Everything has to be immaculate. It was all good until she had her second baby, then she hired a cleaning woman. Fuck all that.
In a few years when she can reach over the counter with a step-stool my daughter will be doing dishes, until then a few crumbs on the dining room table aren't going to kill anyone.
>>7244735
This. Holy shit.
>>7244749
This. Holy shit.
>>7244749
Until those crumbs find their way into the floor, onto someone's socks, and into the bed.
>>7244771
1. Who wears socks to bed?
2. if you change the sheets regularly, what's the big deal?
I mean there's cum and sweat and drool all over the bed anyhow, a few crumbs from some crushed Cheerios or bread are way less gross.
>>7244778
Only time I'm not wearing socks is when I'm showering.
>I mean there's cum
Disgusting. We lay down a towel first.
>>7244793
>We lay down a towel first
That is so fucking hot.
>>7244793
I'm now picturing this dorky guy wearing socks with sandals fucking his librarian-esque GF on a towel, missionary.
>>7244802
Better than cum everywhere. This isn't even an argument.
>>7244806
Close, but no sandals or shoes allowed in the house.
>>7244579
>he doesn't remove his pants and fold them neatly on the counter next to the door before pooping
I can't believe I live on the same planet as you.
>>7244866
OP here. You're probably joking, but I actually get completely naked before I poop so I don't have to touch my clothes.
Alton Brown had a fun suggestion of cooking outside with a wok and a chimney starter. So that way you didn't have to worry about the oil.
He said you'd need a vent that would suck the life out a kitten otherwise lol
>>7244470
Use a fucking lid??
And no, its not impractical to clean up after every time you make a mess. It's responsible.
>>7244872
>Use a fucking lid??
Covering something that is searing or frying isn't a good idea. It will produce steam, and can result in fires.
>And no, its not impractical to clean up after every time you make a mess. It's responsible.
It can be both.
>>7244883
Brah, crack the lid to the side. It'll cook just fine. Dunno why you're making excuses for your own laziness. Oh wait, I forgot, I'm on /ck/
>>7244470
How about a splatter screen?
>>7244694
household cats are the dirtiest of the dirty animals
everytime i see some story or post somewhere about a cat cafe opening somewhere i puke a bit
how filthy are these places? and how filthy are the people that patronize them?
>>7244870
It used to be pretty common in some parts of the US to cook outside in the summertime. Of course, back then cooking indoors was often done in a fireplace.
>>7244470
Nigga scratch behind your ear 30 minutes after showering, it'll be greasy too.
My kitchen hygeine is pretty shitty, I mean I keep it clean but Im not anal about stuff like sprayback, only have one chopping board, use tea towels to clean fucking everything, never use disenfectannts or chemicals etc
never get sick, never head food poisoning, i reckon exposure to germs hardens you up, i just came back from 3 months in se asia and was fine the whole time and pretty much ate 75% streetfood whilst there
>>7244806
I love that librarian look.
>>7244965
I would just touch my pants, and immediately undress and shower when I got home.
>>7244929
My sister in law is a good person; kind, good hearted, hard working, but she has three kids and this love of animals, especially cats.
When her newest dog haphazardly joined the family (A Rott mix), they found that they couldn't keep him from eating the cat's food.
So what was their solution to this? THEY PUT THE CAT'S FOOD ON TOP OF THE DINING ROOM TABLE.
Now when I tried to pound this through my brain, and make some vague mention of how vile this was, her response was
>Well, we don't eat at the table anyway.
So then like two weeks later I see a picture of the kids making christmas cookies on that table. Now there's a layer of wax paper, the size of a placemat, in front of each kid, on which they're making the cookies, but the cookie cutters and their hands and the bowl are all just on the bare table, which I know deep down in my heart has never felt the touch of bleach in it's existence.
This is pretty much the worst of her hygienic sins, but there are more.
>>7244470
I clean very rarely. I've been using the same kitchen for a little over five years now. It's an extremely cheap apartment, so it's one of those combined kitchen/living room arrangements.
I just went through and ran my finger over the floor, the wall, the ceiling, everything. There is only a trace of grease on the bench.
And when I say I clean very rarely, I mean I can't remember the last time I did a proper clean. The floor tiles have visible congealed mud on them. There is no food matter.
>>7244980
>cooking video was recently posted here
>cat climbing on countertop, stove, and cutting board
>anon points out that this is dirty
>IT'S PART OF THE JOKE YOU JUST DON'T GET IT
>>7244470
Actually most food illnesses come from people leaving food sitting around for too many days, both raw and cooked.
This thread is depressing.
I feel the exact same way OP
Anything that gets left behind is dinner for the ants.
>>7244470
>Every vertical surface including your floors
M.C. Escher pls go
I just throw an old shirt over my espresso machine so I don't have to clean it so often, and my slippers never enter the bedroom. Plus I shower and change after dinner because that's when the sex happens.
>What are the chances I'd come into your kitchen
Zero.
>>7245513
Worst mc ever..
lmao at this thread
>>7244470
I don't know what you're doing wrong. My kitchen is immaculate before I cook, and afterwards as I spend 5 minutes to clean it. I do not have a cross-contamination issue because I wash my hands. There is very little cost in drying my clean hands and utensils because I have a stack of laundered towels for this purpose. After that, the non-virgin hand drying towel is used with hot soapy water to clean the work surfaces, then the floor, then the next least-used towel is used for drying/antibacterial product wipe down. Usually 1 towel per cooking session requires laundering. Time spent maintaining clean environment is 5 minutes at most. You sound like either you're letting messes pile up, or you're unreasonably germophobic. I have worked in very clean professional kitchens, and my kitchen is at least as clean.
>>7245535
Do you pan fry meats like bacon or chicken thighs?
Guarantee your kitchen is not as clean as you think it is.
>>7245699
Yes, I do. I guarantee you there is not a single droplet of grease in the kitchen after I'm done cleaning. I wash dishes as I cook, as well. Seriously, do you folks all live in gross hoarder houses?
Lemme go bbq outside in the snow thanks OP for the superior cooking advice
