Housemates thread. Post dickish things your 'mates do in the kitchen or otherwise. (Parents, siblings, flatmates, suitemates, and roommates included.)
>>7232424
My housemate is a fat piece of shit who constantly lies and steals. She used to constantly leave dishes and whatnot in the kitchen and denied it was hers, but that was solved by me and my cool housemate by acting like dicks to her until she stopped cooking at home and started bumming off her parents for food.
My mom's bf ate the rest of my tendies and mom isn't going shopping again until Thursday.
It's bullshit.
>>7232424
noone ever washed up.....we just threw out perfectly good pans......like a bloody scrapyard outside our back door
>housemate is an alcoholic
>up until 8 AM drinking and making a racket in the kitchen
>don't know how he manages to be so fucking loud
>go downstairs one night to catch him in the act
>he's stumbling around drunk, a demolished bottle of vodka nearly empty, remains of a 6-pack scattered around
>keeps knocking into the cabinets and stove and walls
>doesn't have ability to set things down gently, instead slams everything in drunken stupor
>half eaten food everywhere, dishes everywhere, ingredients all over counter
>frying some asian concoction, oil up the walls and all over stove
>spills all over the floor
>beer puddles abound
>trash all over
>food, trash, and eggshells in the sink (we do NOT have a garbage disposal)
>none of this surprises me because that's how I find it in the morning
>he opens cabinet to grab a dish and it bangs closed
>other housemate said she watched him pull the entire utensil drawer all the way out and drop everything on the floor
>he makes a mountain of fried chicken at 8 AM once after an all-night drinking alone
>16-18 drumsticks of fried chicken
>piles it on a plate and goes to devour it
>eats all but 3 of them
>>7232446
>we just threw out perfectly good pans
Jesus Christ what are you, savages?
My roommates would burn shit in the oven then set it out on the countertop to cool. It would cool for about three days, then get thrown out.
I wasn't even angry; it was mad funny.
Also, rotting fruit everywhere. And a different type of bread that would would get added to the breadbox without depleting the old one. I think the record was 18 partially eaten and moldy loaves of a variety of breads.
Good times. Also, all my pots got fucked. Much more angry about that bullshit.
>>7232447
>same guy
>all my pans are ruined because he used metal on teflon pans (they were gifts)
>he put my bamboo cutting board through the dishwasher once and it's been bent ever since
>steals food, always uses other people's stuff without asking
>catch him doing it and he looks guilty like a dog who knows he shat on the floor and is in for it
>helps himself to all my hotsauce and oil
>also constantly borrows money off me
>I make him pay for everything, and the loans are 10% interest a week
>have a mental checklist of everything he owes me, which now includes an orange, a cutting board, and one dinner
>I can't even use his shit because it's never washed or it's "washed" with rice and food scraps still on it
>>7232449
yep....blokes who had been over mothered and wouldnt get their hands dirty
>>7232464
>same guy
>our kitchen sink always clogs, we have to keep a plunger next to it because every single day it's clogged
>he tries to blame me because "it's vegetable scraps in there and he doesn't eat vegetables"
>says it with an asian accent so imagine this shit
>I've caught him cramming trash, eggshells, and pepper stems down the drain before
>again, no trash disposal in there
>one day go down and there's a ton of rice crammed into the sink
>he eats an entire pot of rice every day and he's the only one who eats rice
>take pictures with my phone
>later, tell him to plunge the sink
>he says I broke it
>doesn't surprise me because he says that every time
>pull out phone, "Oh, really?"
>the dog plunges the sink like a good bitch
>still gets clogged every single fucking day
>landlord already bitched about it before, and if he tries to charge me for it I've got photographic evidence of who the culprit really is
Just don't put shit down there. I don't understand how this is difficult.
>come down one day
>ketchup up the wall and on the ceiling
>imagine he tried shaking the ketchup without a lid on it
>make him clean it up
>live in dorm with 8 people to a kitchen
>come out to kitchen, spaghetti everywhere, on floor, counters, walls, in sink and on stove
>guy comes out "sorry about that, you know how it is with spaghetti"
no i don't
>>7232489
...what?
All you got to do for spaghetti is boil some noodles and throw some ingredients into a pan to make a sauce. How the fuck do you do it in such a way that it gets everywhere?
>>7232478
>same guy, what an amusing character amiright?
>every time he uses the oven he burns shit
>always setting off the smoke alarms, his reaction is to rip them off the ceiling and leave the window open all night (with the heat on)
>I refuse to put them back up
>go downstairs, another one is torn down, he's there pissing about
>confront him
>"I dunno, I didn't do it. That was you."
>say that I don't burn shit when I cook because I don't fuck off to play video games for an hour until the pizza is a blackened hunk of charcoal
>tell him to put it back up
>last time he left it on the counter until the landlord saw it and bitched
>it's still there and will be until the landlord makes him put it back
>he once tried reheating a sandwich in the oven
>he put it in with no tray or anything under it, just set it on the grate
>a typical shit spilling out of the sides sub
>lettuce spilled all over
>yes, he put a sandwich with lettuce still on it in the oven
>the sandwich was burned by the time I found it and shut the oven off
>oven smells like burning shit every time it's turned on now
>not my job to clean it
>>7232492
I have no idea, I wasn't there when it happened
At least he cleaned it up
We also played bin jenga, all 8 of us, because nobody ever took out the bin
I ended up eating takeout, noodles and microwave dinners for a year
man living with people that do this shit sounds really fucking awful.
you guys sounds super beta for not raining napalm and abuse on hteir ass for being filthy degenerate pigs.
>>7232495
>same guy
>always leaves dirty pans and sometimes dirty dishes on stove burners
>often takes up all four of them
>never wipes the stove off either, it's disgusting looking
>he says it's all my mess, of course, because the curry and rice are mine right?
>get tired of it, set his dirty pan on the floor to clear a burner
>he gets assmad, starts yelling
>I say he's a dirty faggot and should fuck off with his hogging the stove
>he retires to his vidyacave
>one day eating pizza I split with other housemate
>asian guy comes in
>he has a habit of just grabbing anything I'm eating and taking some, like grabbing a berry off my plate
>I don't give a fuck about it, but housemate is a complete germophobe
>he grabs her last slice of pizza, sniffs it, and puts it back
>may as well have taken a shit on it
>he goes to kitchen, she grabs the pizza slice and follows him screaming
>hurls it at his head
>he freaks out and runs to his room
>I just crack up while she cleans the mess up
>week later he emerges, said she's crazy and that was scary
>say he deserved it and it was funny as hell
These are my favorite,
I was once the victim, but now I am the bad roommate. My father-in-law moved in, and he has done all but maybe a dozen loads of dishes over the course of 6 months.
After a while, you take advantage of that kind of regularity.
To be fair, I am to cooking what he is to dishes. But Jesus do I make a lot of dishes, fancy dinners or silly mistakes can lead to sky high stacks.
Now, while I am thankful that he does the shittiest chore in the house, he uses the same sponges on fucking everything
>Counters
>Dishes
>The Stovetop
>same sponge
>leave it floating in dirty soak water when done with it.
He hasn't done the dishes since august. When ever he cooks he burns shit onto my good pans and then hides then. He consistantly leaves burners/the oven on. Sometime he'll put a bit of oil in a pan and turn on the heat, but he doesn't have the ability to wait one fucking minute until the pan is heated so he will walk to the next room and play vidya for 15 minutes somehow oblivious to the clouds of rancid smoke billowing out of the kitchen untill the fire alarm goes off. Of course i have to scour off the cured on grease because he doesn't do any dishes.
>>7232464
>mental checklist
write that shit down yo. He might fuck up something so badly you need a lawyer to get your money off him.
>>7232563
>burn the goddamn house down
>same guy
>also has no cold tolerance
>has a personal heater in his room
>has it inches from his bed
>pile of blankets and clothes around it all over the floor
>bitched at him several times about it but what can you do?
Yeah probably. 5 more months and I'm gone. Already tried to get rid of him and apparently I have no such rights as a mere co-tenant.
>>7232574
He's also really scared of me, though. He pays, or I threaten him/ take his shit/ report him to the authorities for various misdeeds and get his ass deported. He flinches a lot around me. Funny thing, I've never actually hit him and have no intention ever to, although I've been close a few times. But the important thing is that he thinks I will.
All I ask is that he doesn't fuck everything up. Very simple demands.
>>7232447
>>other housemate said she watched him pull the entire utensil drawer all the way out and drop everything on the floor
My sides
>>7232734
would he let you teach him how not to be a fuckup?
>huge waiting list for student housing
>friend who seems pretty normal offers to share her grandparents' apartment
>first weeks are fine
>kitchen starts getting messy
>sink full of dishes for days in between cleaning
>stove covered in thick crust of food hours after I clean it
>pots of food left out for so long they grow mould
>two knives chipped from opening cans even though we have a can opener
>confront her
>"I'm sorry, I've had a lot to do"
>situation improves for about a week
>back to shit city central
>notice she is skipping both school and work and claiming to be seriously ill
>she's actually out shopping with friends
>overhear her blaming me for the mess when her parents are visiting
>confront her again
>she tells me she was gang raped and her life has been falling apart
>feel like shit and try to comfort her
>her story has many irregularities
>remember she was at home binging TV and pretending to be sick on the night of the claimed rape
>confront her
>she flips shit
>she tells her grandmother I'm destroying the apartment and tried to rape her
>get evicted
>now at front of waiting list for housing
>move into sweet apartment with three great people
>cook and eat together often
>throw parties weekly but everything is cleaned in less than a day
>bitch didn't get to ruin house sharing for me
>>7232466
call them pussys
works everytime, all the time
>>7232449
Why everyone should have paper plates. Pretend you're eating KFC every night
>>7233124
they threw out pans.
PANS.
>burned pots
>burned pots everywhere
Full set of nice stainless steel pots and pans. Never uses oil with his cooking, yet wondered why everything would burn on him when he cooks on high.
>Get roommates
>Teflon Pots
>Teflon scraped and burnt to shit after first month
>Throw out the pots because I don't want cancer food
>Seasoned Cast Iron that is idiot proof.
Sometimes in life you just need to cater to the idiots who think getting high as shit and passing out on the couch while the house is on fire is a good idea.
>>7233242
using teflon in the first place, don't matter about the scratched shit.
>>7232424
steals liquor
landlord threatened to beat me up because i let some dishes air dry since he wouldn't fix the dishwasher
stole expensive sausages that were an xmas gift from my mother
scratched the shit out of my cherry all clad fry pan
>>7233349
your landlord threatened to beat you up over dishes? zozzle.
>>7232439
do/did you live in cambridge? you sound like someone i know, but then again maybe it's just fat shit, terrible, female housemates are commonplace and forcing them away is easy
>>7233368
yes
i talked to a lawyer but it would cost more than i would get back to take it to court
i was pretty steamed because the dishes were from xmas dinner that i made for everyone and i found the note when i got back from getting divorced kek
once i have the dosh to move out ill report him to the city and get him btfo
Only one to do dishes, take out trash or clean. Multiple times threatened to leave apartment since I have a family judge I could go to get the lease thrown out. My girlfriend always starts to cry and tell me I can't just leave them with higher rent and that I'm scaring her. She's tries her hardest to pick up the slack while the other 2 do fuck all.
The bitch hogs the kitchen.
She makes these complex meals for her boyfriend and little sister (she comes over almost every evening from her dorm), and it takes fucking forever.
My house mate isn't too bad but he does steal my food sometimes. Asshole kept using up all my hot sauce so i ended up spiking some of them with bhut jolokia powder. Later that night i hear swearing and yelling in the kitchen and i walk in to find him chugging a gallon of milk and 2 chipotle burritos on the table filled with spiked hotsauce. I nearly died laughing and scored 2 free burritos out of it.
>>7233396
you sound like a pussy nigga.
tell the other two to do shit or your out.
>>7233349
I had a housemate like that once. She insisted that dishes should be towel dried (no dishwasher), which I said was ridiculous. In the end, even if I had to dry the dishes in my room, I'm not going to towel dry them and get lint all over them.
Also had a landlord who tried some crazy shit on me, like a tyrant. I got the law on my side and a bit of blackmail and got a refund, then moved. Report his ass and slander his name on social media and yelp-like sites.
Damn this is making me feel better about my housemates
They're mostly fine but my landlord is always busting my balls about making the tiniest mess in the kitchen. Even when I'm mid cooking he comes in just to bitch
Too bad him and his wife are having a baby next year so I need to go elsewhere
Told him it's real chef hour, sauté that sirloin if you're up he then hit me with the butt end of the knife.
I deserve it.
>>7232561
You think you have it bad
My landlord uses the dish sponges on the bins and floors
I now keep my own sponge hidden.
>>7233651
what do you mean landlord?
where I am from the landlord owns the property and rents it out to people.
>>7233676
The guy who owns and lives in the house. I just rent the spare room, I'm a lodger.
>>7233676
>live in someones house and rent a room
>>7233676
He probably owns the house and lives there and rents out rooms. Technically, that would still be considered a landlord.
ITT: landlord = parents
>>7233697
If only
I'd save so much money
>>7233706
Depends on the parents. When I turned 18 my dad said that I could continue living at home and start paying him $500/month rent or I could move out.
I moved the fuck out.
>>7233766
Parents are pretty awful anyway
I'm so sick of mine even though they're objectively great people. I always revert to my teenage self when I'm around them. Best to stay at least 100 miles away
>>7233772
Agreed. Moving out meant that I didn't have to deal with their shit anymore.
Though now that I'm 35 I think I got that out of my system and my dad lives like 1200 miles away so I only see him once a year or so which kind of sucks. But whatever, that's how life works out sometimes.
>>7232424
my roommate is great guy but he can't cook.
>look in fridge
>see a bunch of half raw/half totally burnt chopped up sweet potato
>sits in fridge for a week
>ask him what it is and if it's okay to throw out
>he told me he chopped up a sweet potato into cubes, turned the electric coil on high and tried to "grill" them directly on the burner without a pan
>mfw he actually ate some of them
>mfw he said they weren't half bad
>mfw he was upset when i threw them away and told him that's not safe at all.
Well I wouldn't consider it a housemate but an old friend of mine used to live in another friends basement..mind you the friend had moved away and his mother was basically taking care of this man child. I remember going over once and it was like she was taking care of him as opposed to him being a renter..which he wasn't because he didn't pay any rent...smoked and drank in a house with two small children..did basically nothing but cook and play video games...lmao...he would always ask me to move in and pay like 200 a month ..when I knew damn well we didnt pay a dime and would just pocket it...what a fucking bum
>>7233809
>he told me he chopped up a sweet potato into cubes, turned the electric coil on high and tried to "grill" them directly on the burner without a pan
How do you even get to this level of stupidity?
>>7233811
he*
>>7233816
South Carolina
>>7233809
Kek'd. But only cause that sounds like something I would do.
>>7233766
>I could continue living at home and start paying him $500/month rent or I could move out.
Can someone explain this line of reasoning to me? How do you come to resent your own offspring so much that you'll only live with them if they pay you?
>>7233766
>500 a month rent
>for a single room
Do you live in Manhattan or SF? I get charging rent but those rates are exorbitant.
>>7233836
It wasn't about resent with my dad, he just wanted to teach me responsibility and how things work in the world. He figured that I would get my shit together and stop being such a lazy pothead if he made me start paying rent.
Well, I moved out and continued to be a lazy pothead but I got a job and paid rent somewhere else where I didn't have to follow his house rules.
>>7233852
I live in nyc and small studios cost like 1,200 a month...welcome to reality...opps there goes my fucking paycheck.
>>7233852
I'd agree with you if you had to pay utilities on top of that $500 for a room with utilities included isn't a bad deal in most places that aren't in a ghetto or in a shitty trailer in the middle of nowhere.
>Live with Manbearpig and many more guys in a two bedroom two bath place.
>ManBearPig lives in the living room.
>He leaves his food all over the floor. Chicken bones, etc.
>Also leaves spilled drinks on the floor to crust up.
>Never takes showers and smells like shit.
>I threw towels at him yelling at him to take a shower.
>None of the other housemates save for one actually helps with cleaning and he's getting fed up. We'll call him Mechanic.
>Mechanic chews out the others telling them they need to clean more.
>Shit gets better for a week.
>Then the garbage goes back to piling up. Dishes molding. Food everywhere.
I ended up leaving that place. Gathering everything I could in my car and just left one night.
Pic related. It's one of the other roommate's reaction to the place after coming back from deployment. The lease was in his name. Guy got screwed with money.
>>7233859
That's why I asked about where he lived. Chances are he doesn't live in one of those places.
My rent is $2000 for 350 square feet because I live in Hong Kong, so I can commiserate with your situation.
>>7233901
esh.
Heck it would be better to live in a suburb of HK at that rate...thats what everyone over here does.
>small room in a house with friends
>£270/month including all bills
Pretty good for Greater London I guess but I want to move to freedomland
My wife's son likes to lick the spoon before I'm done mixing cookie/cake batter
>>7233909
>>7232424
Cool dude, 2nd roommate ever in Manhattan. The fucker couldn't keep his kitchen clean, I opened up a cubbord and a fucking roach fell out on to the stove. Trust me, I never cooked in that place, there were enough cool restaurants around where that place was so I could just go and get stuff, or get stuff from where I worked until I got my own place. ZERO bugs in that place.
>>7233931
This is normal in NYC..I think the city was built over a colony or something...
>>7233934
Yeah. It used to be New Amsterdam, and I went to HS a block away from a place on I think 2nd ave bet 14th and 15th that was Congress for a short time.
>>7233934
If one looks one can find an old statue of Peter Stuyvesant around there, old pegleg himself.
>>7233939
I meant a roach colony
>>7233945
> Faggot brit detected
>>7233945
You brits should know, you're infested by islamics, that's why we call that hole in a sock englanistan.
Bit of a role reversal but
>Make a batch of oatmeal
>Leave the pot in the sink with some water in it
>Sit down to eat delicious oatmeal
>Roomate comes into kitchen and goes off on me about it
>While I still have the oatmeal in my fucking mouth
>>7233951
not from England you inbred kraft mac n cheese eating , crush drinking , mcdonalds working moron
>Been living with room mate for 6 months after both moving out of home
>He comes from a poor family so didn't bring ANY furniture, plates, cutlery etc. doesn't bother me that much though
>He's lazy, plays video games in the dark 24/7
>Doesn't do dishes and leaves them on the bench all day and overnight
>We start to get a roach problem, and I fucking HATE roaches
>Pester him to do the fucking dishes
>Relations break down, we yell, I call him a fat slob etc. he won't talk to me anymore
>He refuses to put roach traps in his room even though it's the darkest dampest, warmest room in the house, covered in clothes and other random shit
>His reasoning "But I don't need them in my room they're here for the food"
>mfw
A month goes past and he's still doing it, we still have roaches
>I'm out one night and come home late, probably about 2 am
>There's a bowl of uneaten weet-bix from the morning, a pot of spaghetti sauce and a piece of uneaten jam toast
>Roaches and ants fucking everywhere
>I fucking rage, wake him up, tell him to do the goddamn dishes
>Tell him if he doesn't start doing the fucking dishes then he can't use my dishes anymore
>"WOW DICK MOVE ANON, YOU'RE SUCH A CUNT"
and thats why I hate gamers
I would have just sent him on his way. People like him just like roomies for the cheap rent. THATS IT. they dont think about doing actual chores and shit..just going to a pt job..and gaming out the rest of the lifetime that they are lucky enough to actually be living. what a waste. I had a friend like this once...room was a literally mess...game area was spotless though.what tools
I live with a filthy motherfucker who has no idea how food safety works. I won't eat anything he makes anymore because I found out he'll make pasta sauce with sausage that's been in the fridge for like a week.
>>7234142
Take your dishes away and watch that nigga starve.
>>7234181
He ended up getting some stuff from his parents the day after (those coke glasses from McDonald's that come out around world cup time).
A few Days later he had started doing his dishes and acted as if nothing had happened.
>>7234154
That reminds me, he stays in his room all day with a dual screen gaming setup and ceiling fan on. He leaves the roof light on with the blinds down because the light that comes from the window "makes too much glare". He then has the audacity to complain about electricity bills being to high.
Man it feels good to vent, is this why people spend so much time on 4chan
>>7234205
kill that nigga.
>>7233766
Was similar with be but at 20 in NYC. I was told that we're moving out. I went to the managers of the company that I worked for told them that I wasn't making enough money to keep my apartment in NYC unless they upped my salary. They did it. Bangin, I told my family to move out and took over that apartment, a three bedroom in NYC "grandfathered" was pretty fun for a 20 year old.
>>7233906
lol that's not how it works here.
However, utilities and food are so cheap it almost makes up for it. I pay about $12 for my phone (unlimited data) and 30 bucks for internet/tv, and my last bi-monthly bills were:
electricity: $42
gas: $45
water: $3
You can eat for three dollars a meal and eat well for like five bucks a meal. It's almost cheaper to eat out than cook for yourself and if you include your own time into the calculus then it is cheaper to eat out.
The reason property is so out of whack is that there are 7.5 million people living in such a small space and there's no "suburb" to sprawl to.
>>7232447
Reminds me of my brother except with weed and he'd break things from time to time, and everything was meatless
>>7234205
The antisocial gamer reminds me of the roommate I just had during the fall.
>Diabetic on a keto diet who eats nothing but bacon and chicken
>Locked up with his, no kidding, four screen setup all day every day except for periodic walks his doctor requires
>Frequently bellowing and screaming at people online
>basically nocturnal, so that there's clinking and clanging in the dead of night while he's making his food and screaming at his vidya.
Also both our rooms had AC/heat units. He thought his was "too noisy" and wouldn't use it, and he'd get pissy if I ran the cool air that I prefer on mine. Pretty often I would wake up drenched in sweat because the control panel for my vent is in the common room and he turned on the heat.
>>7232424
my roomie eats from our communal ice cream tum with a spoon. it's a gallon tub that we share and he usually does it in the middle of the night. he sleeps naked so he walks into the kitchen without wearing so much as a watch and stands there in front of our freezer with a spoon, naked, digging into our ice cream until he's done. i've told him the first pube i find in our ice cream is the going to be the straw that gets him a broken nose.
>Me the only one to wash dishes, have to hand wash since the dishwashers broke
>Brother always does a shit job at dishes when he does them
>Both dad and bro leave dirty dishes next to clean ones when the clean ones are drying.
>Always have dirty dishes in sink/on counter by sink because Im sick of washing dishes
>only half the dishes get cleaned once a week when I wash them
>MFW Im the dickhead for not washing dishes everyday, but I dont care.
>>7234244
Or you could get a decent job and not have to live like a pauper on $3/day?
Do you prefer to live your life like a fuckin' nigger pauper?
>>7234291
Disgusting filthy hippy freaks!
>>7234310
Oh no. He's one of the Rand Paul people who I suppose are a little hippy-ish in their own way. He certainly thinks he's special though.
I've caught him bare-assed several times btw. It's not a pretty sight. My eyes burn a little at the sight but I fear for the ice cream most of all.
>>7234291
communal ice cream.
what the fuck are you?
savages.
>>7234346
I always use a scoop and a bowl. But he usually digs in with a fucking spoon. No pubes yet though.
>>7234351
why would pubes get into the ice cream tub, it's not like the spoon is going to go anywhere near his genital area. If you guys are cool then I don't see why he can't eat directly out of the tub, unless you're scared of cooties.
>>7232441
my wife's boyfriend did the same
>>7234431
spoon to tub to mouth to tub to mouth to tub.
disgusting shit if everyone eats out of it.
>>7234431
You have more bacteria in your mouth than a dog does. You're introducing your resident and transient bacteria into a community food dish. That isn't a good thing. Especially if you have an ailment like the cold virus or influenza. I think we learned that back in elementary school. Were you home schooled by chimps, perhaps?
>>7233766
My dad tried that shit. He wanted 400. First of all, I didn't have a job and was in college living off a thin scholarship with zero money. Second, in our area you could get your own apartment for 600. And the house was a shithole in the ghetto to begin with. So literally he wanted more than it would cost to split an apartment with someone.
I moved to my bf's house. No rent, although I cleaned for them as thanks.
Mate can't cook for himself excluding fried eggs. The microwave just went downhill so there goes his only means of feeding himself. Now it's eggs forever. The only thing though is that he uses gallons of oil to cook them. Oil is now a constant hazard in our kitchen.
>>7232424
I was fortunate enough to never have had to live with a roommate/housemate
I have a bunch of funny stories from when I was renting a room from a crazy German Yugoslav woman who was about 82 and still remembered the old country and post war Europe. She drove me crazy at the time but I miss her now. So:
>The way the house is set up is there's a tiny kitchen attached to a dining room which is also attached to her room, her door overlooks the kitchen and if she opens it she can see about half the kitchen but not the stove
>She can't hear too well because she's like 82... this is important
>Because she's so frugal she basically insists that I don't preheat the oven ever, and, if I'm going to use the oven she requests that I come and ask her if she wants to use the oven at the same time, this way if we both use it, we get a 2 for 1 on electricity!... Yes, seriously
>The kitchen is small as fuck and she's 82 so I never want to cook at the same time as her, which leads me to have to sneak into the kitchen and try to cook as quietly as possible to prevent her from noticing that I'm using the oven and requesting me to collaborate on a meal with her
Also in the same vein
>Doesn't like anything to be cooked without a lid, lids keep the heat in the pan/pot and require less electricity, don't want to eat everything steamed? Too bad
>If I leave the kitchen while stuff is cooking she will come out of her room and put lids on all my pots and pans, even if I didn't want lids on them
>This leads to me basically safeguarding my cooking and being forced to just stand in the kitchen when I'm starting stuff
>She won't just walk up to me and put lids on my stuff while I'm there, but she will request that I do so myself
>When I explain that putting a lid on my pan which is cooking a steak will completely change the texture of the meat and ruin my sear she seems unconvinced but doesn't press the matter
>Still, I know that if I turn my back she's putting a lid on it tomorrow
Continued in part 2
>>7234985
>Cooking chili one day
>She sees that I'm simmering a big pot
>Asks me if I wouldn't mind using the heat in my pot to cook an honest to God cows heart she got from the butcher
>Fuckitwhynot
>She cooks her heart in my chili and I'm mildly grossed out
>Chili tastes fine, she reports the heart tastes good, absorbed the chili flavour
>Success
>>7234989
Beef heart is delicious, you faggot. She's also right about the energy saving. Now bothering a renter like they're your son is annoying, but eh.
>>7235023
She's not right about the energy saving you German autist, ovens are really energy efficient and I've never heard of anybody anywhere trying to collaborate on oven time to save power.
lol but like I said, I have mostly fond memories of her, not trying to seriously bitch; it's just funny.
There was a time with my old roommates that I acted like the American version of Chef Ramsey.
>Sans girlfriend, the other two were spoiled rich girls that had every done for them and not a single shred of self confidence
>Would cry if they fucked up a meal, I got really sick of this after a while
>One day one of the girls makes an awful curry, starts to cry because it isn't the right consistency, claims it wasn't cheap to make
>As she's crying I walk up and take a bit of her dish
>Scream "This fucking curry is disgusting, did you even bother to season this shit? And the chicken is so under cooked its criminal! Next time do (xyz from my recipe)! But you made it so stand up for your dish! Be proud of doing something for once!"
>Consistently do this for every dish they make, throwing in advice and encouragement alongside the insults
>After 3 months they start growing a backbone
>They now both have greatly improved self confidence and nice boyfriends for a change
>>7235143
that sounds autistic as fuck man
>>7235016
Only when the landlord is a petty, controlling asshole.
I've actually lived in situations like that several times over the years and have never had a problem with it.
>>7235150
What can I say? I'm a pretty cringe-worthy dude, but I have confidence in what I do and take care of my appearance.
>>7235159
oh. well, carry on then bro
>>7235159
"Who the fuck set my home page to the fucking Drudge Report again? Get Bidens ass in here"
>>7233654
>real chef hour
>living with other people
I bet you share toothbrushes too faggot
Housemate drinks a glass of tapwater, drinks most of it then leaves the glass by the sink. Then he comes back later, gets another glass and does the same thing again and by the end of the day there's 5 or 6 glasses lying there where he could've just used one
>>7235213
i have the opposite problem
i specifically rinse out my dishes and set them no the side of the sink so i can reuse them later and my roommate always always shoves them into the sink with the rest of the dirty dishes. Like, wtf. She's also the type who uses fifty spoons to taste test while cooking
>>7232447
I like your mates style, reminds me of myself.
>>7235249
same
/ck/ alcohols should buy a house and see how long it takes for it to burn down.
For science.
>>7235213
I use the same teacup for a week at a time. I only wash it when the inside is solid brown.
My flatmates are constantly stealing my leftovers when I make food in batches. I started making smaller portions, but when making a stew there's really no way to not make enough for multiple meals.
Since said flatmates refuse to pay, help or simply stop, I started messing with the leftovers. I tried adding huge quantities of salt & pepper, sugar, dumping masses of random spices - those fuckers still slurp it up and don't relent.
So I bought pic. Tonight I'll slice the whole thing and mix it with the leftovers of the chicken stew I cooked. And if that doesn't work I'll progressively start adding more and more fucking bleach to the leftovers. Fucking shitheels.
>>7235279
I do this with coffee cups, use one a week. If there's too much residue from my french press or perculator I just throw in some wine, give it a whisk and gulp it down.
>>7235300
Try rat poison 9-5 style.
Catchpa: Coffee
>>7235321
Ghost pepper is easy to explain.
Since stomach aches from bleach could still be explained, if it ever came to the point that someone would figure it out.
Rat poison, no.
But I do agree that these people are fucking rats, subhumans feeding on my scraps and they deserve to starve.
>>7233478
>calculates condiments
I fucking hate people who won't share their condiments. Fucks sake, there is absolutely no point of having 3 ketchups in the house, if it runs out you get a new one. And same with your precious hot sauce. You'z a dick man.
>>7235593
>buy special hipster exclusive ketchup
>save it for special home made fries
>make fries, go to grab ketchup
>it's fucking gone
people like you deserve to get raped with hot pokers
>>7235614
Well nigger if it was me who emptied it went out my way to get you the same faggot ketchup. Move away from those poor autistic fags you're living with.
>>7232734
you both sound crazy
>go away for weekend
>come home
>g-grandmother's cast iron skillet has two inches of water in it and rust
I damned near killed that bitch. It took decades to recover that pan. She didn't even fucking apologize. Hispanic cunt.
>>7233396
Why are you making your girfriend cry and scared because the kitchen is dirty?
It sounds like you should go, I dunno, and find someone to replace you.
>>7232734
>>bitched at him several times about it but what can you do?
I can haz circuit breaker?
>>7233901
>Hong Kong
Do you guys live in constant fear that some day China will say, you know what? Fuck you
And swallow you back up again?
Never had the opportunity to ask before and have always wondered
>>7235715
That fear was there even before 1997
>roommate is a cute girl who bakes cakes and pies pretty constantly
>She's sweet and kind
>has a good sense of humor
>plays video, board, trading card, and role playing games
>all around fucking awesome chick
>find out she's bulimic
>she has nightmares and we can hear her screaming out in the night
I wish I could save this fucking girl. It feels awful
>>7235213
Now me, I'm the opposite. I will go literally months using the same glass for my water and only get a new one when I don't feel like grabbing it from my room. And even then, I eventually end up grabbing it a couple weeks later and just rinse and use it.
>>7235752
dude go cuddle her and shit
this is literally a 'just like in my animes' situation
>>7235779
>cuddling her will make her mental illness go away!
No, life isn't your animu.
>>7235781
>cuddling her will make her mental illness go away!
cuddle therapy is a real thing
anywauy, why are you such a monster that you dismiss out of hand anything that you could use to help her out?
>w-wow /ck/ i sure wish i could help out this amazing great gal
>but i'm not gonna do anything because i'm a sack of shit
the world is crappy enough anon, w dont need you trying to make it worse
>>7235781
Cuddle her with a pillow over her face obv.
>>7235788
kissless virgin detected
>>7235808
man, i wish
life was way better back then
>Living in a 1BR apartment for a long time
>Friend from the Army got out, looking for a place
>Me and him both move to a 2BR, I'm saving $300 on rent so it's all good
>He doesn't know how to cook, but he does the dishes and I love to cook so it's all good
>Respectful, hard working, fun, all around good guy
>Except for one problem
>He is the loudest masturbator I ever heard
>Even with his door shut and the TV blasting, I can hear him yelling
>Don't want to have that awkward conversation with him yet
>>7235810
>life was better
>lived in a house that's not theirs in the past
>still shares a house with other people
Explain how it was better you fucking degenerate loser lmao!
When are you going to get a big boy job and stop mooching off others?
>>7235823
Once your mom stops paying me to rail her.
Nice MLP figures btw
>>7235827
None of what you just said changes the fact you're a loser who cannot provide the basics to himself. Stop mooching off others. Get a real job. Buy a parcel of land and build a home on it, have some kids too.
Stop making excuses for your failures.
>tfw room mate microwaves the whole icecream container
>soaps up my cast iron griddle and leaves It to soak in the sink
>takes steel wool to my Teflon pans
>slices my expensive pecorino romano to serve to her friends on crackers
>they don't even eat it because of course they fucking didn't! Who eats that fucking salt bomb on crackers!?
>>7235832
nice try dude. all the effort to deflect from your pathetic posts you could be channeling into something worthwhile
>>7235842
I'm at work though, this is something I'm getting paid for. Once you get a big boy job you'll realize how much free time you'll actually have when you're not doing shift work as someone hovers over you.
Get out of your funk, Obongo made education free to poorfags. Get on it. No excuses. Stop mooching off your housemates and mooch off the government for college tuition.
Responding with anything other than "okay...sounds good" I'd your denial about your failures in life ans inability to own up to them.
No adult past 22 should live with other adults they're not fucking or married to.
Period.
>>7235847
oh my sweet, sweet summer child
you'll understand the world someday
have fun shilling for bernie on /pol/ i guess
>>7235847
I'm 26 and I live with my parents. Why?
Because they let me live here for free so I can have my less than part time 10 hour a week job to make some spending money and all the free time in the world
Sleep til 11 every day, walk around in some stores, go to the gym, ride my bike on the trail through the woods, come home for a nap, eat whatever my mom cooked, play videogames.
Life is good
>>7235822
He's fucking with you.
>>7235854
>thread about housemates
>is 26 and lives with his parents
You shouldn't be posting in this thread. It's better to say: "I'm a failure and live with my mom" than to call your Mother a housemate and get treated like a child when/if you bring a woman home to gape her sugarwalls out.
Your life sucks, you're missing out on so much of the world. I would kill myself if I had to live your life.
>>7236043
I'm 35 and would be happy to move back in with my parents if it meant free food and no rent.
That would mean a shitload more spending money and more that I could put into savings and investments.
>>7236065
Why did no woman ever find you suitable for marriage and reproduction?
>>7236077
I've been married and divorced and I have little interest in having kids.
>>7236087
Keep telling yourself that.
All the pathetic rationalizations ITT are humorous. Get a job loser. A big boy job would instantly cure all the things wrong with you.
>>7234850
>So literally he wanted more than it would cost to split an apartment with someone.
I think he was hinting at something anon
>>7236098
There's nothing wrong with me. I've had a big boy job for years. It hasn't made me want to get married again yet and still doesn't make me feel compelled to have kids.
Sorry if the interests and goals in my life don't line up with yours. Lashing out at people on the internet just makes you seem petty and unhappy with your own life.
>>7236110
I'm not lashing out, I'm reminding you that you're a loser, like your wife did, and parents do, and the friends you lost in the wake of your extended childhood.
You're not living my life, not my problem. I'm just one of the thousands of people who've told you you're useless.
:^)
Had a housemate's girlfriend move in (despite my repeated protests), her more food related sins include. . .
> Put my frozen chuck steak in the fridge, claiming they would do something with it before I left to visit family on Christmas. I was fine with that (didn't really know how to cook those things, but chef mate did). I was not fine when it was still sitting there when I came back from visiting.
> Baking in my cast iron skillet and not cleaning it afterward
> Not doing dishes unless forced at gunpoint
> Drinking my booze (started locking it up and marking levels.)
> Puking on my favorite dish scrubbie
>Fries beans pickles and ketchup in my cast iron
>washes my cast iron with soap and hot water
Mother fucking catch-22
my roommate likes to use and abuse my ingredients. One time he used half a bottle of sesame oil to make "fried rice". Obviously it was shit.
Another time I had some cheap ass frozen meatballs in the freezer that I intended to use with some cheap ass spaghetti sauce and he asked if he could use them to make "Garlic toast and meatballs". I said sure because I was hungry. Turns out all he did was toast white bread, spread some margarine on it and then sprinkle pre-diced garlic onto it which he then adorned with microwaved meatballs. You can imagine how this turned out
>>7236253
>let roommate use ingredients
>cry about how he uses them
Why not say no or try and educate him.
>they never fucking wash their pots and pans and shit
>still wash everybody's stuff and don't say anything because it's actually pretty relaxing
My roommates over the past two years have been a combination of rich kids not used to cleaning up after themselves and middle class kids who just can't be fucked.
>frying pans full of congealed paneer + sauce
>pans half-full of a grease consisting of garlic, onion and just about every other aromatic spice you could think of
>noodles, rice, beans etc dumped into the drain, clogging it because we don't have a garbage disposal, which somehow people don't realize
>moldy loaves of bread everywhere because people buy shit and forget about it
>tea cups/coffee mugs left out for a couple weeks until a congealed "skin" grows on top (and permanent stains left on the cups afterwards)
>bowls half-full of food left on the table in the middle of the living room for days or weeks at a time
>shit left in the freezer for weeks until it goes bad
I just don't understand how people can fucking live like this. The only reason I tolerate it is because I'm not in the house much anyway and haven't had the time/means to cook that often as of late.
I don't clean anything that's not mine anymore. Maybe I've deluded myself into thinking they'll learn their lesson eventually.
>>7235666
Hey Satan that meme is past its expiration date. You only see stuff like this on /ck/.
>>7235779
I've thought about it. We watch anime all the time and we joke about each other being "straight out of anime" kind of people. She's exactly like Megumi from Shokugeki (we recently watched together) she's shy and she tries really hard and worries about people.
I would love to cuddle her but like anon said >>7235781
she's straight up mentally ill. She doesn't like to be touched but she has asked for a hug before when she's sad. I don't think there's much I can do for her but I'm glad she's here. If there's anything I can do, I'd love to help her.
Anyway, she's a great cook. She hardly ever makes food, just bakes almost daily, but she made ridiculously tasty vegetarian chiles rellenos. (I'm vegetarian and don't allow uncooked meat in the house) She's a good girl, wife material but she's never had a boyfriend and she's in her twenties. There's obviously some reason why.
>>7236306
>I'm vegetarian and don't allow uncooked meat in the house
>>7236306
>I'm vegetarian and don't allow uncooked meat in the house
Sounds like you're mentally ill as well. You two are perfect for each other.
>>7236306
>>I'm vegetarian and don't allow uncooked meat in the house
Is it such a big deal to get splashes of water on the countertop beside the kitchen sink when washing dishes? My landlord gets mad because it's granite or marble or something.
>>7236341
Not normally, unless your landlord is a cheap and/or stupid fuck who hasn't had the stone sealed properly.
>Have a Danish roommate
>Insists on cooking
>Almost all his recipes are bacon, pasta and cheese
>Realize one of his portions has more calories than a Big Mac easily
>He's a big guy
Mixed feelings.
>>7236127
No happy person says things like this to anybody. Maybe you should spend this time on your own life.
Does anyone else have a painfully anal asshole about saving money - and is still REALLY dumb about it?
>buys only one brand of sponge, because the sponge "has to be the right brand"
>buys brand name dish soap, hand soap, salt and pepper, all spices have to be brand name, anything that can have a brand name MUST be an official brand
>complains when we use the dishwasher
>complains when we turn the air conditioning on and it's 110 degrees outside ("JUST USE A FAN MAN, IT'S THE SAME THING" FUCK YOU MATT IT'S NOT)
>complains when we try to heat the house and it's fucking putrid cold
I don't fucking understand the guy at all, there's a million other things you could do to save money rather than fucking complaining about spending an extra $30 a month in utilities, you stupid bitch.
>>7236367
>People buy brand name cleaning supplies
Why? Do niggers really believe that BRAND BRAND soap makes things cleaner?
>>7236352
Yeah, that's pretty much why I stopped bothering to reply to him. If it makes him feel better about his life to try and point out all the things that are "wrong" in mine, then so be it.
I'm satisfied with my life and that clearly makes him uncomfortable so he's trying to make shit up about the kind of person he thinks I am in order to feel better about himself.
It's kind of funny how hypocritical he is though, claiming that he's not lashing out and turning right around and then telling me that everyone in my life thinks I'm a loser like he even knows anything about my life to begin with.
>>7236262
Oh I do say no nowadays, but if you want to fuck him so bad I can give you his phone number
>>7236370
it depends, but it does make a difference. For example Dawn dish soap is better than the Palmolive they sell at the Dollar Store
>>7236306
Does she get therapy? I know it's expensive as fuck, but it helps.
Either way, sounds like you're a good influence on her, so keep it up I guess.
>>7236409
>but if you want to fuck him so bad I can give you his phone number
Sure
n-not that I want to obviously
>>7236380
I don't think he even registered that he went from talking to a 26 year old who lives at home to a 35 year old who doesn't. He's just frothing with rage and criticizing anyone he can.
I see this type of stuff less often on here than other boards but when I do see it it seems to be more genuinely hateful. Sad stuff.
This is why I live alone. I can wash up as infrequently as I want, leave the stove as stained as I want, let trash pile up for as long as I want, and no bitchy roommates can whine about it.
>Have Chinese roommate
>Nobody has ever seen him cooking anything
>Find this a little odd
>Every now and again he will walk past carrying a Subway bag
>nobody really questions it
>come home one day from my lectures
>not really paying attention when I am walking
>his room is next to mine
>accidentally open the door to his room
>he is inside
>he is scooping vegetables out of a Subway sandwich onto a pan on a hot plate
>piles of half eaten subway bread all around him
>gasp
>he panics and throws a crusty hearty italian bread roll at me
>later find out that he was scared to buy vegetables from any shops because they didn't have Chinese staff
>he would only buy food from the campus shop when chinese staff were there or from Subway when the Chinese staff member was there
>didn't like any of their sandwiches so just got them stuffed with vegetables and stir fried them and ate them with the bread
>he dropped out after 2 months having shed several lbs
Whenever I read these kind of threads the one thing that fascinates me is how americans like to prepare food only to leave it uneaten and lying around without any plan to save it for later.
>One roommate pretended he never used communal resources (some basic ingredients, paper towel, dish soap, etc.) and never pitched in for them.
>other roommate treated anything in the fridge as free game.
>Could no longer refrigerate any beverage because he'd drink it
>>7236352
>being this butthurt
LOL.
>>7236380
You stopped replying because you realized I was right and there's no coming back from that.
>>7236459
No. Both are equally big losers, one is just more advanced and got cucked out of his life by a succubus. That's not my fault the divorced one is a loser, and the one that lives at home is equally as pathetic.
There NO excuse in the world good enough or even rational for why you'd live with other adults you're not married to or fucking unless you're a massive failure.
>>7236496
this made me sad :<
>>7236688
Haters gonna and so on
>>7235752
Dude, EDs are really saddening.
>>7235822
toppest kek
>>7236245
>washes my cast iron with soap and hot water
there is literally nothing wrong with this.
>>7236732
>you're a hater my mom says I'm special
>>7236292
If shit is stored properly, it should keep forever in the freezer.
>>7236370
Sponges are w/e.
Dawn dishsoap really is the best though.
>constantly sip other peoples' beverages when they're mostly full
>nobody ever notices
>it's been three fucking years and not a single complaint
>I still do it all the time
I think I might love stealing.
Ultimately my folks have been the worst housemates . Everything they did was literally obnoxious
>>7236800
DEVILISH
E
V
I
L
I
S
H
When I was in college I had these room mates that would eat food fuck it was so annoying etc.
>several college freshmen/seniors living together
>one dude pours rice every day into the sink
>erry fucking day the sink is clogged
>everyone else agrees to not clean it up until he realises it was his fault
>it takes him an entire goddamn year to realise throwing rice in the sink clogs it
>disposal devices aren't even a thing in my country
>he's the #1 student among us
>live in big mansion with 7 roommates
>they're slobs but sweet and funny
>can't pin the dirty dishes on kitchen table on any single roommate
>give up the manhunt
>cockroaches and flies even on kitchen table
>we had a maid come every week and basically just clean kitchen
>it was awful
>nobody felt guilt except me and a few other cucks in the house
>get this email after i move out
>"We were surprised yesterday to see the appalling state of your kitchen.
>When we pressed Roberta about this, she said that recently she’s had to clean up maggots from the floor by the stove and that they’re also in the kitchen trash.
>This tells us that residents aren’t taking out the kitchen trash out often enough. But that’s only part of the problem."
>"clean up maggots"
>our roommate facebook message group erupts into hearty keks
>hasta la vista, hombres
>no hard feelings
sometimes you just have to live in filth and not be anal with your roomies. if it creates negative tension in the house, it's not worth it. seriously, get over it. hire some woman to come once a week and clean the entire place. everyone pitches in ten bucks, and it gets done.
>>7236850
There's this thing called verbal communication. Try it out next time you need to relay information to somebody.
>>7235788
You've never had someone with a dependency problem for you. It fucking blows. Having someone who literally can't cope without you is the worst.
She's gotta work with a therapist to find her niche for herself.
>>7236496
Did you offer to help? It's really sad that he didn't want to try the food out.
>>7237069
I've considered doing this. I've dealt with waves of bugs. I stopped sleeping in the house. It took the roommates months to realize this.
But I'm just getting the fuck out as soon as I can.
>>7235270
>apartment of cu/ck/s
i would love for this to happen
I've lived with a variety of roommates but I've always gotten lucky, all mine have either been clean or almost never cooked anything so I had the kitchens to myself - but that was before the past two weeks of experience, sorry it's not all /ck/ related:
>rent nice tri-level townhouse together with sister (we serendipitously both needed a new place at the same time, decided it would be okay to have an adult sibling for a housemate, going on three great years now)
>last week my mother splits up with guy she was planning to marry, basically demands to move in with us, we agree it's okay while she finds something more permanent
>there's at least one pan of burnt food (usually eggs) on the stove every day
>she throws away things in the fridge without asking
>reorganizes all the drawers of cooking utensils, can't find shit
>leaves passive-aggressive notes in sister's bathroom
>moving truck full of stuff shows up one morning without any prior discussion - suddenly there are boxes everywhere and furniture piled in the garage
>movers accidentally break a wall-mounted light fixture upstairs, say they will replace it
>already planning to go out of town with sis for annual ski trip, we go, moving company supposed to bring replacement light fixture over the next day
>while we're gone, guy who runs moving company claims he couldn't find a replacement but is going out of town and can't do anything until next week - mom doesn't protest, and doesn't let us know, but she does tear a light fixture off a wall in the basement apartment to fill in for the broken one and makes a mess in the process
>get home late in evening, having driven home tired and a little sore after day of skiing to find mess, nobody home
>confront her later that night about what happened while we were gone, she denies doing anything that she did wasn't right and storms off crying 'muh kids don't want me to live with them'
Simultaneously loving someone but wishing they'd gtfo asap sucks.
>>7236804
Like give birth to you, for starters.
>>7237579
None of that is a major problem apart from the burnt pan of food every day, and I suspect that's an exaggeration. Do you really hate your own mother so much that you make such a huge deal about her moving company fucking up?
>>7237742
Hating your mother is not at all what he's suggesting. I've had elder family members move in to MY home on MY mortgage and not understand why they need to respect me. It's tri-level and his sister's lease - she's staying their by his grace, and needs to show some amount of respect.
I love and respect my mother, but respect needs to be a two way street if adults are going to live together.
>>7235016
I've been in that situation a number of times, and it was always shit. Never again.
One highlight:
>make myself a sandwich, retire to my room to eat
>halfway through sandwich, landlord knocks on door
>Anon, we need to talk. Let's go to the kitchen.
>We're standing in awkward silence in the kitchen as she stares at me, arms folded
>I notice her gaze drop to the kitchen counter
>Upon closer inspection
>There is a crumb
>I dispose of the crumb
>Landlord thanks me and wanders off
>>7235593
Whilst I agree it can be pretty annoying if on the rare occasion you use ketchup you go to get it out and its been used and not replaced, or more likely completely emptied but never the less stuffed back in the fridge.
People like using other people's stuff but not buying their own when it's not there
Kitchen towels in particular are something roommates like to abuse but never chip in for. I had a roommate who actually took my whole pack of kitchen towels and put them in her room
>>7238187
I would have started throwing food behind the refrigerator and other hidden spots around the house.
>>7232552
marry her
>tfw broiler chef de partie who just got a 2 bdr in the city with our restaurants pastry cook. We are gonna have the greatest dinner parties the city has ever seen.
here's to hoping we don't get sick of each other lmao
>>7236496
>what legitimate autism looks like
>or could just be standard ching chong chinese
http://strawpoll.me/6467974
Just to see where we're at here.
>>7232424
Had a housemate who left a sack of potatoes under something in the kitchen and forgot about them for what must have been months.
He was out and I was picking up for a party that night. When I discovered them, they wee in some pool of liquid and were infested with maggots. I can only assume the liquid was from the decaying and maggot spawning processes because nothing had spilled on them.
When we picked up the bag, it was the worst smell. Me and another housemate had to come back with gloves and bandanas for our faces.
>>7239587
>I can only assume the liquid
You know that most vegetables, including potatoes, are 95% water right?
>>7239601
Yeah but normally that liquid stays inside.
I know a woman who got tired of other girls in her dorm eating cookies and candy without permission that she cooked in the dorm kitchen.
So one night she made goat dropping cookies. By morning they were all gone.
She very nearly got kicked out of school for that.
She said that a year later at her wedding dinner (the night before the wedding) the waitress was one of the girls who at the goat dropping cookies.
>>7235847
Baby boomers called, they want their catchphrases back.
>>7240534
I know you're a femanon, and the thought that a girl would cook goat hit cookies for her school friends is weirdly sexy.
im gay btw
>>7242146
>I know you're a femanon,
Nope.
>>7237262
>>7239372
A lot of them are under pressure from their parents to go to uni regardless of their level of English. There was a guy who didn't know how to do laundry, so he would mail them back to China where his grandmama would lovingly wash and dry and fold them then mail them back to him. Took his parents half the semester to cotton on.
tfw housemate is an euphoric awkward neckbeard but is actually a nice person so I don't like to complain about her
though
>first few months living together
>kitchen is absolutely filthy, sink completely full of her shit, food splatters all over floor and counters
>continuously tell her to clean her shit up very politely
>finally blow up at her after coming home and wanting to cook dinner but sink is full and every surface is filthy and i step on something sticky
>''I g-guess we have different d-definitions of the word clean haha''
at least she's gotten her shit together somewhat though I don't think she's done any laundry in the past month
w/e as long as she cleans up after her goddam self
>>7243294
>There was a guy who didn't know how to do laundry, so he would mail them back to China where his grandmama would lovingly wash and dry and fold them then mail them back to him.
I refuse to believe this.
>>7243294
I would like to be introduced to this female neckbeard room mate of yours.
I will pay you a big basket of persimmons for it.
>>7243300
I have an even better story
>theres some 16 y/o kid in my uni course
>his mum is with him a lot of the time, we chat sometimes and her english is poor but she's really sweet and obviously loves her kid to pieces
>sometimes the kid isn't in classes but his mum is there taking notes and shit for him
>I let her copy mine when she can't understand what the lecturer is saying
>one day she stops showing up
>hear from kid's housemate that the police came to look for her since she outstayed her visa
>the po po dragged her out of her son's closet and made her go back to HK
>>7243316
She's physically male
>>7243322
I knew it was too good to be true.
>>7243331
check back in after a couple years tho
The worst one smokes (also weed) and drinks so much in his room that the stench reaches the goddamn kitchen. I don't care what you do in your own room, of course I'd prefer it if he didn't smoke inside at all, but at least air out your goddamn room.. There's windows in it for a reason..
Besides that this fucker will make food and leave his dirty disgusting cutting board on the kitchen counter for weeks because he went home for the holidays.
>>7234056
Chances are you're still getting taped by muslims though faggot, so what's the difference?
>mfw i wasnt born a europoor
One rommate I had didn't even complain when I caught the kitchen on fire and nearly burned down the fourplex we lived in.
>>7232552
Imagine asian guy as you and femhousemate's teenage neet son
>>7243322
don't you speak chinkese, borneo
>>7243254
r u feminine? ;-)
>>7237069
Or you could not be a useless slob and look after yourself and your damn house.
>>7233859
This. I live in Vancouver and it's about the same here, 1200 a month for a studio is pretty normal. Too bad I'm not 40 years older, I could have bought a house here and be selling it for 20 or 30 times what I paid.
>>7245027
yeah that's how we started communicating
her chinese was bad but not as bad as her english tho
>>7232441
Tendies today!
