Happy New Year, /ck/.
Ask a Navy cook anything.
>>7219063
What's it like taking a dick in your bungpiece?
Why do you still use beef to cook if ostrich is so clearly superior?
>>7219066
Not as painful now as it was at first.
>>7219070
Can't get our SUPPO to approve the purchase of it. Also, not stationed in Australia.
should I get poly or hard rubber bushings for my upper control arms? poly are $140 and hard rubber is $110
>>7219080
Rubber. Poly could shatter if you're not careful.
>>7219083
good idea. I'm not careful
>>7219063
Are you Casey Ryback?
>>7219063
would you be able to sleep at night after murdering an innocent whale with a torpedo?
>>7219078
>ostrich
>Australia
You what m8?
>>7219063
How do you breathe with so many dicks in your mouth
>>7219063
Navy Captain got on the 1MC and announced that there would be no more ass fucking on his ship. A few days later, the First Mate told the Captain that he knew there was still ass fucking going on. The Captain asked the First Mate how he knew. The First Mate replied, "the last dick I sucked tasted like shit."
>>7219063
They've been called culinary specialists for a while OP..
>>7219063
that's not even macaroni.
>>7219063
does the captain always eat on his own?
>>7219119
No. I'm just a cook.
>>7219128
Sure. I didn't shoot it.
>>7219130
Through my nose. It's easier than you might think. Just ask your mom.
>>7219137
Old joke is old mate.
>>7219163
Yeah, but I've never liked that title as very few of us can cook worth a damn.
>>7219164
Very astute.
>>7219167
Not on my ship. He eats with the rest of the officers. But the other officers don't start eating until the captain arrives. Unless the captains gives the okay to start without him, which he usually does.
>>7219063
Why do you only carry Texas Pete hot sauce on the boat? Is it a steers and queers thing?
>>7219181
Due to the amount of complaints, we've started carrying Tapatio as well.
[spoiler]Also sriracha. Cap'n likes it.[/spoiler]
>>7219063
why aren't you doing those competitions where you cook for a bunch of O-6's to taste your food?
>>7219063
What is your duty when your ship is struck by an anti ship missile? Do you help in firefighting or whatever or do you just get the hell out of the hull?
What's the worst thing you've made? What about the best?
>>7219194
I have, actually. Came in second. :(
>>7219209
What does the winner get? In the army, you get sent to the Joint Culinary Center of Excellence. Since it is Joint, I suppose, Navy as well gets sent there?
>>7219216
I've heard of this and would love to go. As for me, I've been sent to the CIA in Napa Valley as part of the Armed Forces Forum for Culinary Excellence and got to go TAD to a flag mess for three months this past summer. Flag is amazing, and that's what I'm working toward right now.
what's the most popular food on the navy menu?
>>7219129
There were lots of ostrich farms in Australia in the 80s. It was seen as an easy way to get rich. The concept didn't take off, so they all failed, but you'll still sometimes see a few domesticated ostriches behind fences at rural rest stops.
>>7219226
pet emu chick
>>7219221
Are you one of the few who care? All the army cooks I've seen have no ambition, no skill, and are 50% niggers.
>>7219063
what rank is the chef? non-commissioned or just regular sailor?
>>7219226
>hiking in FL with Boy Scouts
>Pouring down rain, trails flooded, some local color tells us they's gator inna marsh, so we take a detour
>tromping along someones fenceline, hear weird noises and something in the brush
>two soaking wet emus pop out of the fukken bushes like two yards from me
>collective "what the fuck"
There are some people still trying to raise big birds, shit's weird
>>7219223
It's funny. You can spend hours and put tons of effort into a product, but if it's going against the pre-made Chicken Cordon Bleu, that's what they go for. Also popular: pizza and wings. Steak and crab legs (or lobster tails) are almost universally hated, as they usually serve that before informing the crew they've been extended for a couple weeks.
>>7219230
see pic
>>7219231
Yes. Real cooks who give a damn are few and far between.
>>7219236
"Chef" is not a military term. Our LCPO, however, is a Certified Chef de Cuisine.
Funny stories?
>>7219260
Apparently, the officers up in the wardroom like my cooking, enough that I was made Wardroom Supervisor for about nine months. It's always a good idea to get chummy with the officers, because they can write letters of reccomendation for you later on down the road.
Anyway, one of the officers - a very well-read, academic type - said to me once, "CS2, sometimes I think you're trying to fatten me up. Like the witch in 'Hansel and Gretel.'"
"Don't be silly, sir. You wouldn't fit in my oven."
......I guess you had to be there.
>>7219288
tell us some of the innevitable kitchen fuck-ups that happened in your presence
>>7219293
One of our First Classes, a fine cook in his own right, was in charge of cooking the ham for Thanksgiving Dinner this year. Long story short, he burned it. After screwing up so badly, he uploaded a pic of the burnt ham to his Facebook feed. Now, I work with a lot of African Americans, one of which is a really cool dark-skinned Boatswain's Mate. A mutual friend replied to the pic, "Who done put BM2 __________ in a pan?" There was much laughter.
>>7219313
>Boatswain's Mate
DOES HE DO THIS WHISTLE????
Are you black or Philippino? Or are you that token white trade CS?
All kidding aside I appreciate what y'all do for us. I was on the Stennis and the food was great all things considered. I'm one of the few that understand the shitty work conditions, hours, and rude fuckers you have to deal with.
Seriously, thanks man.
>>7219356
I'm about as white as they come. And you're welcome. :D
>>7219293
Just thought of another:
New kid, straight out of A-School, is put in charge of chopping veggies for the salad bar. I come to check on his progress and notice little pieces of raw-ass garlic in the salad itself. He said, "I thought it would make a good garnish."
