Rate Jeb's guac
http://www.npr.org/2015/12/31/461518357/finally-revealed-jeb-bushs-secret-guacamole-recipe
No lime, no salt
It's shit
>no lime
fuck that noise
>>7218501
>lime and salt
Just kill yourself.
>>7218516
you're outnumbered, buckaroo
>>7218516
fuck off.
THE KEKABOWLE RISES
>>7218461
When Trump is president I hope he drowns Jeb in that shitty excuse for Guac
>>7218610
TRUMP GUAC
>Big avocados
>Big tomatoes
>Big onions
>Cilantro gets deported
>Lemon, not limes aka loser lemons
>Salt and pepper to taste
>>7218672
>Trump using Mexican criminal pears for his guac >Not using peas like a red blooded murican
>>7218683
Obviously peas are for women and communists but you can add a bit of mayonnaise if you insist on being different
>>7218461
Jeb is basic af.
My secret is a little bit of cottage cheese to kick up the creaminess.
Jeb doesn't even know what a ripe avocado looks like, there was never any chance whatsoever that his guac would be good. That being said, I'm still surprised that a man with the cash backing and R&D potential of a medium corporation would fail to make even a halfway-decent bowl of guac.
>>7218672
YUUUUUGE!!
Im so making this for my Jeb Bush NYE2016 support party.
>>7218461
Yea, I can see him trying to bring this to a family reunion.
>41 is talking to 43 about some shit.
>Yeb, waits patiently for an opportunity to speak.
>there's a lull in the convo..
> jeb says: "Oh, I brought some Quacamole for everyone. My wife & I love this"
> 43 looks out of the corner of his eye at 41..
> 41 says, "Yeb, only former Presidents are allowed to speak at the table."
>>7218461
Shit/10. Here's a real recipe. too lazy to do measurements but I'm sure you co/ck/suckers can figure it out.
>Avocados
>lime juice
>fresh cloves or garlic(crushed/minced)
>onion
>cilantro
>black pepper
>chipotle chili powder
>fresh chopped jalapeno(or habanero if you wanna burn)
>romano tomatos( without seeds or juice)
I'm drunk so I may have forgotten a couple ingredients. Otherwise, it's that fucking simple.
>>7218461
i wish this idiot would just quit the race already. so pathetic it's almost sad.
>>7218933
What's with people adding onion, cilantro and tomato to guac?
It's guac, not fucking salsa.
0/10
avocado
lime
salt
chile pepper
black pepper
small amount of julienned red onion
>>7220907
>julienned
>>7218516
>He doesn't put lime in guacamole
>>7220648
I like my guac to have a lot of flavor. I do leave out the tomato though. Putting tomato in guac basically makes it a salsa in my mind.
>>7220927
>its not guac without these
avocado
salt
>great additions
red onion
lime
serranos/pepper of choice
ground pepper
tomatoes (as long as the quantity doesnt turn the guacamole too thin)
>potentially good additions
cilantro
garlic
other round onions
lemons
>shit tier
peas
green onions
basil or whatever other herb your brain thought up
mayo
sour cream
>>7220919
fucking moron
>>7220949
I wholeheartedly agree with this post. Christ, it's been a long time since I've been able to say that
>>7220949
this should be stickied
When will Jeb kill himself?
>>7218683
peas in guac?
>>7221011
Right after you finish masturbating with a slippery fish.
I just do it with avacado, lime and salt. It's all you need really. On sour dough toast. It's nice to have a bit of roughage in the morning.
>>7221070
she could get some roughage in the morning
>>7220949
This is truth. My god, somebody actually knows what they're talking about.
I can't believe his campaign thinks this is a reasonable price for that.
>>7221218
His entire campaign is a complete disaster. Look at this hilarious image
>>7218461
I give it 3%
>>7221218
>Pestle not even included
>>7218766
>when the LSD kicks in
With the lack of any lemon or lime, I feel like Jeb has no idea guacamole is supposed to stay green. I just have this image in my head now with him and W at like a family function and people are steering clear of his black guac because he made it the night before to save time and BOTH are baffled...
>>7221752
0/10
>>7221757
>guacamole is supposed to stay green
Food makeup and advertising has warped your fragile little mind
>>7221218
>>7221218
This is a man spending tens of millions of dollars to LOSE support. He has no concept of value.
>>7221760
Lime juice isn't exactly some frightening food industry chemical preservative monstrosity
>>7221760
You're also one of those people that eats at On the Border for your 'authentic' Mexican food because they commissioned a Mexican busboy to make guacamole fresh for you tableside aren't you?
>>7221218
Every single commerical Yeb has is an advertisement of his beta-ness..
Standing if front of some group of people, in his hunched over stance, arms flailing, head pivoting from 45 degrees left to 45 degrees right, with the distant lost stare..
not to mention that stupid smile of his.. geesh
>>7221536
Jebs big advantage right now, is that the democrats are secretly doing everything they can to get him the nomination.. if it wasn't for the efforts of NBC/ABC/CBS/CNN Jeb would be doing much worse..
sounds bland as fuck
>>7223470
Like his campaign.
>>7218766
He looks like he's about to cum from those fat mexican women stroking his chest, rubbing his guac all over his pale, white-haired nipples.
What a filthy animal
>>7221760
Fuck off Yeb
>>7220949
10/10 post m8. Show these plebs how its done.
>>7218461
>no lime
>no ingredient amounts
this is less of a recipe and more of an expression of what traditionally goes in guacamole.
also red onion or go home
Does no one else make guacamole by mixing in just salsa and lime? Maybe some red onions
That's how my family always does it, and they are spics
>>7218516
Found Jeb
>>7224388
lazy mexicans
Build that wall, Mr. Trump
>>7218461
Desperate attempt to get brown people's votes/10
>>7224388
White people make most ethnic foods better than the average "authentic" person
>>7224388
You mean supermarket salsa? If you're lazy enough to be buying that, you might as well be buying the guac pre-made as well.
>>7224488
but that's fucking wrong, whitey.
>>7224497
It's absolutely true. Ethnic people simply don't understand how much sugar and fat is required to make shit taste good.
>>7218766
Jeb has lived in one of the few states that can grow avocados, the idea that he could not identify a ripe one is silly.
His recipe sucks tho
>>7224497
Don't get me wrong, some 'authentic' people are really good at doing their things, but in almost all cases, the 'authentic' masses are worse than random flyover white people at doing it
>>7218461
No lime or lemon? His guac will be gray.
I looked at it and knew I did better.
Hola,
Friendly reminder that what Jebbito described and everyone else in this thread seem to be is actually an Avocado Dip.
Guacamole is a sauce and has scallions (green onion), garlic, chile (jalapeño or serrano), cilantro and salt and avocado.
You throw all those ingredients together in a blender until it has a consistency of a crème fraîche.
P.D.: The lime thing not making it go brown is a myth. Oxydation (contact with oxygen in the air) is what makes it go brown. It doesn't affect taste just colour and you can easily avoid it by covering it with a plastic wrap making sure there are no air-bubbles.
>>7224644
Sorry, I forgot to also add that calling it "Guac" makes you sound retarded. Like the type of person that says "hubby, foodie, on fleek, bæ" &c. It makes you sound like faggot hipster trash.
"Guac" is an ugly guttural sound an requires the smoothing out of it with the -mole part. Please refrain from naming food you appropriate with grunts and primitive sounds.
>>7224503
>being this amerifat
>>7224683
Did I trigger you gringo?
Excuse me for trying to rectify and try to explain what you're actually eating. There is no "authority" in guacamole, it's just a simple linguistical correction.
How would you feel if people began posting mayonnaise recipes without egg or cum? You would have to correct them that it's just an aïoli and without raw eggs and semen it just isn't "mayo."
;3
>>7224706
Can you please tone down the mad level you're harshing my vibe
>>7221866
>eats at On the Border for your 'authentic' Mexican food
It's called on the border because it serves what is known as "Tex-Mex" food.
This is a hyphenated portmanteau of Texan and Mexican. The resulting word is a descriptor that plays well with the restaurant's name, given that between the two gastrophilosophies is a border.
>>7218505
>>7218516
>>7218546
Hi Jeb
shouldn't you be mourning your dead campaign?
>>7223464
He put the lime the wrong fucking way. Everything is ruined.
>>7224961
no he didnt m8
>>7224644
You fucking idiot.
Citrus juice prevents browning in fruits and vegetables because the Vitamin C in it reacts with the oxygen more readily than the enzyme that causes it, delaying browning. It can also lower the pH enough to deactivate the enzyme altogether. The Vitamin C reaction is limited, and will only delay browning temporarily until it's all broken down by oxidation.
It's not a myth, it's basic chemistry.
I just fucking squeeze the avocado shit into a bowl and dip chips into it.
>>7225586
>Vitamin C reaction
lolllll
>>7224641
Sterilize yourself racist scum.
>>7225586
apparently you flunked out of chemistry then.
the acidic nature of lime would raise Ph because it's not a fucking base.
BOTH foods have an abundance of Vitamin C so if that somehow browned fruits then the lime would have no effect
and the browning is a reaction of the enzymes in avocados to the air around them,
I don't even care if you're a troll.
>>7224706
go back to /mlp/ you dirty neckbeard.
>>7227120
>apparently you flunked out of chemistry then.
>the acidic nature of lime would raise Ph because it's not a fucking base.
A lower pH indicates that something is more highly acidic.
>>7218461
>no cumin
>no lime
He'll have plenty of time to work on his recipe when Trump deports him and his ugly troll wife back to Mexico.
>>7221715
It's not even a molcajete, it's a fucking plastic bowl. I can go buy one for 99¢ at the dollar store and it'd probably even be better quality too.
>>7223469
>but lime juice won't taste good with everything
It damn sure tastes good in guacamole though senpai.
>>7227329
>dollar store
>99¢
OMG you guys want my secret guacamole recipe?!
Take some chopped red onion, some chopped garlic, and some chopped cilantro and throw that shit in a mortar and pestle and smash the fuck out of it. Then chop up some limes and squirt the juices in. Throw in the pulp too if that's how you feel. Oh shit should have chopped and mashed red serranos with that first bunch of shit. Then scoop out some avocados and throw that shit in there too and mash it all up. And add some salt and maybe pepper or hot sauce if you're feeling it.
Shit's fucking delicious and Yeb is a goddamned cuckold.
>>7227087
yeah citric acid you dip
>>7221218
What would it look like if Trump sold a guaca-bowl?
>>7221760
Your ignorantieousness is baffling and appaling, surely you jester?
>>7224388
You fucking disgrace to mexicans, why there must be always some idiot that brings shame to a nation?
>>7218730
I've tolerated people throwing cream cheese into their guacamole but you señor have crossed a line...
>>7220949
10/10 not shit post
>>7224497
>We wuz chefs
>>7224644
>Friendly reminder that what Jebbito described and everyone else in this thread seem to be is actually an Avocado Dip.
Or as I've recently taken to calling it, Avacado/Linux
>>7227594
/pol/ has a counter bowl
>>7220949
I have never seen the shit tier ingredients in guac ever. Am I being trolled? Does this exist?
>>7224664
>appropriate
>>>/tumblr/
>>7229120
Most of it has been heard of
The fuck is with all you/those idiots adding creamcheese/heavycream/sourcream/cottagecheese/mayonnaise/oliveoil or whatever to guacamole?
Avocados are already fucking smooth and creamy fuck what the fucking fuck why you fucking faggots why
>>7220949
i dont see a problem with green onions
>>7229985
they are .99 here in Ohio. i make guacamole all the time
>>7218553
HAHAHAHAHAH
75$
>>7229985
They're 79 cents here in flyover
>>7223438
>>7230173
Fucking christ...
>>7230173
Someone explain pls
>>7230173
christ did he really think that was an endearing thing to do in the situation? it seems like he is being so calculating all the time, yet still manages to fail at acting like the peoples man.. he should take lessons from W lol.
>>7230984
he probably has several people coaching him on what to do and ends up confused and stiff.
Anyone here willing to make a Bernie's favorite cocktail?
http://www.foodandwine.com/fwx/drink/how-make-bernie-sanders-official-cocktail
>Avocados
>Sour Cream
>diced onion
>microplaned garlic
>frank's red hot
Sure, lost the entire hispanic vote there, but I still like it.
How has this not been posted yet?
>>7220949
>>mayo
What the fuck people actually do this?
>>7220949
10/10 post except for cilantro but thats my own fault for having shit genes that makes it taste like soap.
>>7221218
To be fair, this more of a little trinket to say thanks for giving money. Not defending the dude's campaign, nor do I want him as POTUS.
They could have him slimed (with guac) Nickelodeon style at the next debate, giving the audiences ratings meters for negative/positive reactions. I just can't think of what foods other candidates would use.
Low energy / 10
>>7224641
>Whites are literally the devil
t. Whitey Whiteperson
Also, I'm white btw
>>7221752
boooo
get off the stage
