>I got the recipe from allrecipes.com!
>ground beef
>food
allrecipes is such an awful site. They never come out as good as they're depicted
>>7193395
You should be able to look at a recipe and know how to adjust to your taste
>blog recipe
>5 pages of text how their life story before they get to the recipe
>This recipe requires multiple $100+ pieces of equipment
>This recipe requires a single petal from a flower found only on the top of Mt. Everest that only blooms once every 37 years; to not use it would render the dish inedible. There are no substitutes.
>This recipe will never be as good as its store or restaurant bought equivalent.
>This recipe calls for green peas.
>>7195090
> my husband is on an all carrot diet so here's the stupid modification I made to a perfectly good recipe. . . It turned out great!
> I made these last night and the kids couldn't get enough!
> If you don't have lamb, you could always substitute it with beef, chicken, fish, or small little pieces of your own feces.
When will the madness end?
>>7196639
>I didn't have any X so I substituted it with Y. This recipe is awful 0/5 wouldn't even feed it to the dog"
>>7193238
>I'm a busy Mom
>>7197117
I've literally never read a comment like that.
>>7193395
I just think the site is horribly designed.
>>7195090
Don't forget the huge images upon images
>>7197138
Consider yourself lucky.
>one of the ingredients listed as "butter (margarine works too)"
NO IT FUCKING DOESN'T
>is an existing dish that is very common
>the name is always something ridiculous and often contains the name of its "creator"
>Grandma Jane's World-Famous Apple Pie
>Janice's Super Epic Awesome Brownie Fudgecake of Win
>Bubba's Honey Garlic Stick-to-your-ribs Ribs
>the recipe might use one unconventional ingredient, or different ratios of usual ingredients
>>7197122
*reeees internally*
>>7197171
>stick to your ribs
Goddamn this one always creeps me out bad, it sounds more like they're describing some sort of parasite rather than food
>hubby really loved it
>shallow fry it in olive oil
>had the kids licking their plates and asking for more
>microwave until tender
>>7197171
I laughed at:
>Janice's Super Epic Awesome Brownie Fudgecake of Win
So true and typical. I hate when food unheard of by 99.99% of the world is toted as world famous.
>I left out the fish sauce because me and the hubby don't like fish
>>7197245
Whwre are you getting these grade A cat pics
>>7197279
Are you fucking serious.
> I added a Knorr Chicken Stockpot to my pasta water and the carbonara turned out better
b-but I like allrecipes
>>7197279
I know...lol. it's not even caturday :P
You know what I hate the most? Recipes within recipes.
Actual recipe for Egg Nog Pudding that I read:
>Make vanilla pudding according to package instructions, but use Egg Nog instead of milk
>>7193402
THANK YOU
>MAN COOKING
>we know REAL men don't like to cook
>how to make BEER BRATS and STEAKS, why the fuck would you want vegetables, liberal?
>IT'S NOT GAY IF YOU DON'T GIGGLE, MAN RECIPES FOR YOUR NEXT BIG HOME ASS-FILL
>>7197591
>BACON and CHEESE on EVERYTHING
>BEEF JERKY
>with WHISKEY and RUM
Why do they always make substitutions to the recipes? Almost every recipe has comments saying that.
>>7197600
>DRIP HOT CHEDDAR IN YOUR ASS LIKE THE CUM OF ZEUS
>UNLESS YOUR A PUSSY
>YOU'RE WATCHING MAN KITCHEN
>>7197638
>THESE WINGS NEED MORE RANCH AND/OR BLUE CHEESE DRESSING, YOU FUCKING CUNTS
>HOT SAUCE? GODDAMN HELL TO THE MOTHERFUCKING YES WE NEED HOT SAUCE
>PUSSIES NEED NOT APPLY
>PREPARE YOUR ANUS FOR THE CULINARY INFERNO
>TABASCO
>CHOLULA
>TAPATIO
>SRIRACHA
>HABANERO AND GHOST PEPPERS UP IN THIS BITCH
>MAN UP, THIS IS MAN KITCHEN
LOL Allrecipes isn't so bad! Unless you're blindly following every step... OK, I think that's actually what a recipe is for. Nevermind it's bad haha. What website do you get your recipes from?
>mix of metric and imperial measurements in the same recipe
>>7197667
Google.
Canvas results, choose the one that seems to best fit what I'm aiming for.
>>7197667
I use google images and pick whatever looks the best 2bh
>>7197661
>YES MEANS YES...TO RIBS
>JIZZ IN MY FUCKING FACE IT'S GODDAMN BACON
>NUTS, BEST POST-ANAL STIMULATION SNACK?
>THESE BURGERS ARE SO GOOD YOU'LL GUZZLE THICK ROPES OF DOBERMAN PINCHER SEMEN ERUPTING FROM DOG COCK LIKE A BUSBY BERKELEY SPECIAL
>UP NEXT ON MAN KITCHEN, HOSS IS TIED DOWN AND BURNED WITH THINGS FOR MY SEXUAL ENJOYMENT
> i made wings, they're baked
> i'm vegan
> i cooked the pizza at 3500 kelvin, any lower of a temperature isn't pizza
> i made soup
>>7197661
Whats wrong with spicy food? How else do bar and grills make money?
Epicurious
>>7193402
This. I actually use allrecipes and other horrific repositories as a jump off point and often end up modifying them heavily and adjusting the portions.
>>7197667
you post like a girl
>>7197684
You could plate dog shit and make it look appetizing.
>>7195126
>>This recipe requires multiple $100+ pieces of equipment
Every alton brown recipe.
Thanks! How do you think I got you to kik me your noodz? ;) lol
>>7197716
There is absolutely nothing wrong with spicy foods.
There are several things wrong with making spice a gimmick and sensationalizing a very common Vietnamese-American sauce like it was a new discovery.
Bar & Grills make way more than enough money from marking up steaks and drinks.
>>7193238
Are all the recipes on that site fake? A lot of the recipes when you read through the ingredient list don't look terrible, but usually the amounts are all wrong so it doesn't cook right. But when I read the reviews its always people raving about how delicious it turned out.
>>7199488
All recipes on that site are user-submitted. The legitimacy of any given recipe varies.
Also, some units of measurement share the same name, but are different quantities depending on the region.
1 cup:
>250ml in Commonwealth nations
>236.59ml in the US (household)
>240ml in the US (commercial/legal use)
>227.3ml in Canada
>200ml in Japan
To make things more chaotic, lots of people use household objects that share their names with units of measurements.
So let's say a recipe calls for 1 cup of something. The person who wrote the recipe meant 250ml, but the end user chooses to use a literal cup from their drawer. Now, say the recipe requires 1 teaspoon of another ingredient, of which the author meant 5ml. There are people who will actually use a spoon that they typically use for stirring their tea with. And there are people who really love sugar more than their tea, so they use a fairly large spoon. And they choose to use that very same spoon to cook with.
So a recipe could go "wrong" because of regional differences in units of measure, as well as people using non-measuring utensils with similar names to further skew the results.
The next time you write a recipe, use units of measure that aren't confusable. Whether you're a real American who use murrican units, or a polite Canadian who uses good ol' metric, a gram is a gram, and an ounce is an ounce. A tablespoon can be a number of different things.
>made this, the kids loved it! They were asking for seconds! I was amazed, they never normally like vegetables
You shouldn't be amazed. The reason your kids loved it is because you made a proper meal. Nobody dislikes vegetables cooked properly, it's just when you're not following a recipe, you just boil them to death and serve them plain because you're an idiot. The "vegetables are icky" meme is almost entirely a result of people's parents being incapable of cooking vegetables properly. In fact I would wager most foods people think they don't like, they only believe this because their parents were shitty cooks.
>>7197532
Holy shit this.
Recipe for a cake:
>huge blog post about dumb shit going on in their life
>tons of shit pictures with no measurements
>use yellow cake mix
>put pineapples and a cherry on the bottom of the pan
>waa la
i don't know op, I have no problems with allrecipes. I usually search for ideas with the ingredients I have, and base times off of it.
For example, the mini-meatloaves on there are pretty good. I make my own barbeque sauce though and add more to the loaf like onion and some other things.
Granted, a lot of the stuff on there is mixing canned ingredients. Lots of condensed cream of mushroom soup listed on there as an ingredient.
>chill the dough for 8 hours
>>7199575
Preach
>>7199532
>So let's say a recipe calls for 1 cup of something. The person who wrote the recipe meant 250ml, but the end user chooses to use a literal cup from their drawer.
Nobody has ever done this ever
>>7199680
Saw someone in home economic along ago try to make a cake and use a spoon like I'm gunna wake up and eat my Fucking apple Jack's with it spoon. For the measurements.
>>7199680
Brit here. Around 10ish years ago I was following a recipe I found on a yank website and it asked for cups. So I used a cup/mug out of the cupboard.
It came out weird and bad. So yeah, when the rest of the world are subject to retarded measurements like a cup then it does happen.
It's like saying 'add a bag of X'. The bag could be of varying size, it's way too vague.
>>7199832
It's your fault for being too lazy to jump on google for 10 seconds and learn wtf a cup was.
>>7193238
What's a good site to get recipes from? Epicurious?
>>7197953
alton brown is famous for nigger rigging like 80% of his equipment. i think what he lacks in accessibility (and only rarely, at that) he makes up for in instilling a sense of culinary ingenuity.
>>7199853
Then there are conflicting measurements.
>A Commonwealth cup is 250ml
>A Canadian cup is 227ml
>Canada is a Commonwealth nation
>Canadians use both cup measurements
This isn't really a big deal if you're dealing with neutral-tasting ingredients like flour, but this could be a pretty big deal with very sharp, aromatic flavors.
If the ingredient in question was vinegar or sambuca, that difference could be huge.
>i got the recipe from [celebrity chef]'s website
>>7200098
To be fair though, if I had to choose between a recipe from a famous chef, or from a dimwit YouTuber/Redditor/Tumblrina, I'd pick the famous chef.
The bigger problem is when the person doing the cooking starts adopting the famous chef's cooking philosophy. It's okay to try their recipe, but it's not okay to put olive oil on everything, or to call another cook a "fuckin' French donkey."
>>7200518
They're usually not written by the famous chef, rather contributors/interns who are not nearly as good at cooking.
>>7197667
I browse foodgawker for ideas and inspiration and make my own shit.
>>7195126
Fuck looking for bread recipes
>take all your ingredients and put them in your mixer bowl with the dough hook and put it on setting 5 for 45 minutes :)
NOT EVERYONE HAS A $300 STAND MIXER YOU YOU STUPID SHIT SUCKING MONGREL.
FUCK
>>7197667
foodwishes desu senpai
>>7197117
Ahhh.... So you frequent the site, as well.
Don't forget the recipe SJWs that also post
>If you make any modifications to the recipe, don't give it a low rating. It just makes you look stupid
>>7197167
Depends what you're making. It's a fine substitute in most cases.
>it's a buzzfeed-style video where they just list ingredients accompanied by a super sped up close-up of their hands
>"so easy", "only x ingredients", "no-bake", "crock pot x"
>take a bunch of prepackaged foods, combine and bake until disgusting
>"YUMMY!"
Hey, I've uploaded a few of my own recipes to allrecipes.com and they've gotten good feedback.
>>7200090
Its usually very obvious if a recipe is not American.
>>7200757
Why not start your own food blog instead of contributing your hard work to someone else?
>>7200767
because nobody reads blogs anymore you dumb cunt LMFAO
>>7200611
Let time do the hard work for you
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QpQ9Kd3t5I
>>7200793
If your recipes are good you turn the blog into a youtube combo site and you profit. If you throw your recipes into the void that is allrecipes they reap all the profit.
>>7200870
How do you profit from a blog and youtube.
I like Foodwishes. The stuff I've made based on his videos always comes out pretty good
>>7200881
ads
>>7200883
but adblock.
>Today, we'll make a classic Italian dish
>it's nothing like we make it in Italy
every
single
time
>>7200885
Not everyone uses it. Not in the case of foodwishes, but a lot of people have merch. A common practice these days to put a commercial in your video to bypass adblock "sponsored by"
>>7200885
>but adblock
That's like responding to a guy who says the government can make money from tax with "but tax evaders".
Not everyone evades tax, and the majority of people do not use adblock
>>7197122
every fucking time
>>7197667
fuck off, reddit
>>7197122
Horrifically underrated post.
>>7193238
Where else should I get recipes then?
jw I can't cook desu
>>7193238
>pastry or baking
>cups, pinches, hanfulls
GRAMS AND KILOGRAMS PEOPLE
>>7197667
Since every recipe is a minor variation of a classic, I look for inspiration on pinterest or somewhere like that, and then refere to a patisserie/cooking book I trust for the basic.
>Sister requests epic nutella and maple syrupe bacon meme bread
>Find a simple fruitcake/pudding cake recipe
>Alter to taste
>Give result to sister and NORMIEEEEEEEEEEE internally
>>7199680
This is bait but I feel the need to explain that cup as a unit of measurement literally meant any cup, before it was standardized.
It makes sense, because if you used the same cup the recipe is proportionally the same no matter which cup you use
>barbecue sauce
>>7197227
>hubby
This truly is the worst word ever invented.
>>7197953
Not even remotely true.
>>7202334
For many years I never used a measuring cup. If a recipe called for a cup that meant fill the coffee mug 3/4 way full.
>>7193402
This. It's one of the reasons my mother is a bad cook. She can't look at a recipe and decide whether or not it will actually be any good, and how to adjust it to be better if it's not.
>bbq sauce recipe
>ketchup is main ingredient
Go fuck yourself.
>>7199575
> grow up hating broccoli
> try roasted broccoli as an adult
> holy crap it's good
>>7202428
whatever you are trying to imply is wrong
>>7197704
What's wrong with soup?
>>7203632
>hated tomatoes all my life
>recently have a salad at work with a cherry tomato
>bite half of it
>hey, this isn't s- oh my god this is awful
>eat the other half
still awful
>>7193238
It's okay if you want the "basic" X recipe, although it would be better to consult a basic cookbook like Joy of Cooking.
>>7195090
These are really good recipes on occasion, though. Gotta hand it to those stay-home moms with too much time on their hands.
>>7197814
I do the exact same thing except without the pretending like modifying somebody else's recipe makes me somehow superior part.
>>7197933
Prove it.
>>7197953
Would have to go episode-by-episode, we're talking about 10+ seasons of television plus cookbooks. You could get by a lot of the time without the digital temperature sensor/adjuster equipped electric kettles, the clip-on immersion thermometers (with alarms), the store-bought oven thermometers, the infrared surface thermometers (although those are really useful), and the digital scales (for weighing). (Granted, these items are in the $15-$70 range, I'm not sure which $100+ equipment you're talking about). I will have to go through the series again, I seem to remember he used a simpler approach to cooking in the beginning but by the end he's telling viewers that you can't make an omlette unless you're at NASA's Jet Propulsion JPL Labs. Or that you can't go grocery shopping without bringing a cooler (can't remember if he also said to bring it into the store or just to load your groceries into it when you get to your car).
>>7199832
>can't handle words having different definitions, depending on context
That's like Amelia Bedelia tier autism, dude. You might want to get checked out by a shrink — err, mental health professional (inb4 you go to a head-shrinking shaman in the Amazonian jungle). Do your measuring cups have only metric units? That kinda sucks, American measuring cups have both metric and American units on them. Perhaps you could import a few from the Free States?
>inb4 le remembering nonstandard conversion metrics such as 1 c = 8 fl oz is "hard" counterargument
>>7199853
>Talks about others being lazy
>Too lazy to write "What the fuck" instead of "wtf"
>>7203795
BBQ sauce is made with mustard.
Vinegar can be a substitute but only when in a great crisis.
>>7197693
>DOBERMAN PINCHER SEMEN
lost it
>>7200611
How do you NOT have a stand mixer?
>>7200738
What is buzzfeed's obsession with cream cheese?
>>7206726
White liberals typically have weak constitutions, so they can only eat non-threatening flavors like cream cheese.
>>7199488
I've never had any serious problems with allrecipes, abiding by the following rules:
>only look up and use recipes for standard, traditional stuff
>choose several highly rated recipes
>compare the ingredients and procedures to get a feel for variations in the dish
>pick the one that seems best
>read into the comments to see if there are any recommended alterations
It sure beats the crap they put in the newspapers.
>>7193238
is that keanu reeves
>>7200518
Pm this, whenever I'm searching recipes I inevitably stumble across Jamie Oliver recipes, which in my experience are more often than not, pretty fucking good
>>7203632
>grow up with bog standard meat and 3 veg till about age 7
>veg are not handled well
>mum suddenly into's cooking
>food suddenly comes alive
>she is apparently awesome
>develop love for veg
>and that's how I became a chef
>>7193238
>recipe says its easy
>calls for 25 different ingredients and 30 different steps
>>7197600
>Not adding some sort of alcohol to your food.
What, are you some sort of prole?
>>7207117
That burger is very flat.
>>7200626
>You are now awareFood wishes is sponsored by Allrecipies and Chef John is a big contributor to Allrecipies.
>>7207192
Not as flat as ur chest, if you know what I mean ;^)
>>7197122
>Hubby loves it!
>>7204587
Carolina bbq sucks dude.
>>7206762
my approach exactly
>online recipe
>everything in grams even liquids
>All of the ingredients are measured in different units and stupid shit like "a handful" or "one packet of unspecified weight" as a base unit
>The recipe is only for a specific amount of people/plates/jars
>The ingredients don't even scale equally for more or less food, and there's no scaling guide by either the recipe creator or the ingredient manufacturer
I shouldn't have to bust out the calculator and conversion guide to make enough hot pepper spread to last me through the winter you assholes.
>>7200902
that was an awful analogy
>>7193238
is that neo
All of you faggots that dont use recipes as a vague guide for ratios, replacing exotic or hard to find ingredients with logical substitutes etc. deserve to have shit tasting food and feeling gypped enough to complain on a malaysian cartoon website.
>>7199584
>>7199532
I think you need an adult.
>>7197667
will you be my girlfriend?
>>7209230
there was no spoon
>>7199626
>Chill the dough, 8 hours
Now time out.
In many cases this long, or longer, is absolutely appropriate.
Perfect COOKIE dough, for instance, should be rested as much as 24 hours.
Resting dough, causes it to develop a flavor that you're not gonna get any other way.
>>7207218
The recipes that he contributes are the exact same as the ones he posts on youtube. His recipes are some of the few edible on the website.
is there a good youtuber or site that will help someone with little to no cooking skill become somewhat able to cook decent meals?
>>7210225
Chef John
>>7193238
But Chef John is part of Allrecipes and that channel rocks
>>7193395
>Hold on while we freeze your browser for 10 minutes so we can look up """"" deals""""" nearby on the ingredients
>>7210225
Chef john desu senpai
>>7211275
/ck/ could use a sticky for shit that gets asked constantly.
>use allrecipes occasionally
>neither me or my family ever have problems with the the way the meals come out
A-Am I doing it wrong?
>>7211418
ok fucko
im gonna show you why allrecipes is fucking trash in 3 simple steps
1 - grate some onions and black pepper over chicken thighs (with skin on top), then salt
2 - stick in oven at 375~400F (your choice) for 1 hour, then take out and rest
3 - wonder why you can make something with 3 ingredients within the hour with next to no fuss while those FUCKING HACKS at allrecipes seem addicted to dumping the entire fucking spice cabinet into every fucking pot the ycan find
>I got the recipe from 4chan.org!
I occasionally use allrecipies for baking ideas since im not very good or creative when it comes to baking but literally for nothing else
>>7211476
I think the only recipes I actually managed to learn from 4chan are image reposts, Quinky sauce, and authentic Irish stew.
>>7211476
Buddy, you seem confused.
The reason why most people are so bad at cooking is actually surprisingly simple - they get caught up in food memes without knowing how different ingredients/processes change the food.
>"I ain't eating a steak unless it came from the holy cows of japan"
>"I like to torch my beef so it gets all brown and that means more fire"
>"bacon n cheese"
>"muh dietary lifestyle"
>"meat is bad for you"
>"fat is flavour"
>"you cant cook without x"
>"y is the only way to prepare z"
It's all fucking horseshit. Before you know it you're adding saffron to chili and cayenne pepper to cheesecakes (LOOKING AT YOU JON).
4chan is a bit better. The discussions are about ingredients as opposed to wholesale recipes (in fact the fact that there's actual discussion as opposed to moderated feelgood comments at all puts it miles ahead of just about everywhere else), and whenever you do get a recipe you'll at least see a shitload of criticism underneath.
Or at least you should. If you don't then try it yourself then shit on it.
>go to allrecipies
>find a steak dinner
>cooks it
>shreads the steak
>overcooks side dish thats not in the recipie
>FUCKING ALLRECIPIES IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE THE PHOTO
>>7211476
I once overdosed on vitamins because of 4chan
Allrecipes (and similar sites) are good for figuring out the backbone of a dish. How long to cook approximately what ingredients at what temperature.
>>7200830
Why did I spend 8 minutes of my life watching a man make bread? Why do I now want to try it?
>be novice cook
>want to make my favorite bread
>go to make french bread
>prepare everything
>start putting in ingredients
>"put in 2 cups of flour"
>put in 2 cups
>not nearly enough
>I dont know shit about making bread im just following directions
>nowhere in the recipe does it say to add the flour as according to how moist the dough is
>i fuck up the recipe because of the awful god damn directions.
Fuck you betty croshaw and FUCK your shitty french bread directions.
>Italian recipe (no mention of it being a variation or anything, passed off as the real deal)
>it's got absolutely nothing even remotely related to how we do it in Italy
>vegan/vegetarian/hippie prefix on anything
>"now take your leaf-handle bowl..." (the fuck do you care what handle my bowl has you mangy cunt?)
>"my kids/husband/wife love it!"
>adding cream or other shit to a carbonara when trying to pass it off as the real one
>using stupidly specialized equipment when other more common stuff like a fucking oven works just fucking fine
>>7211774
TL:DR:
>somewhere around 50-60s America
>companies notice they are selling cooking equipment almost entirely to women
>there is a massive untapped market in the male population
>cue massive ad campaign promoting grilling as manly and rugged
>useful idiot consumerist whores lap it all up
>still persists to this day
>>7199994
>What's a good site to get recipes from? Epicurious?
Indeed it is...it has archives of Gourmet and Bon Apetit, which quoted top of their craft chefs, authors and famous restaurant versions of recipes over more than 5 decades. I almost always find only the right thing I want on their site. It'd be where I wanted to go if I needed the authentic/famous/regional specialty whether the original caesar salad from the restaurant that made it famous or the more improved recipe reprint.
Outside of that, you might find that a certain chef, like a Bayless or Susan Feniger might do a mexican recipe right, or Harris knows the black recipes, or Jaffrey for the Indian, or Joan Nathan for jewish foods, and you'd go to their respective network pages or books. Sara Moulton had that awesome Cooking Live show, where her connections from Gourmet magazine garnered the best chefs that ever lived, one by one, not sure where those archives live now, cooking channel? I'd only trust an Alton recipe about 75% of the time, and would probably go to Southern Living magazine instead for a good SouthEast regional favorite, Sunset for SouthWest stuff. New York Times, Miami Herald, Washingtonian magazine, Times Picayune have great archives and articles. Pick your region and head to their newspapers whether you want Joe's Stone Crab dipping sauce, Crack Pie from MilkBar, or the amazing amish dilly bread knots. If I'm really not in a rush or hard up, I might head to used copies of old 50s or well-known bestseller cookbooks or even like old junior league recipe compilations from those areas.
>>7197693
this one made me emit a quiet but audible signal of mirth.
Somebody cap this thread and post it in the annual /ck/ humour thread
>bread recipes are in cups
>never bakers notation or fucking grams. or hell, even ounces.
I work in a used bookstore and we purposefully refuse to stock this shit.
>>7211774
Americans actually have space and yards for a grill. Most euro cucks live in shitty 400sq feet tower block apartments.
>>7211935
You actually couldn't be more wrong you non passport, flyover fuck.
>>7211942
delicious limp-wristed cityfag tears
>Use allrecipes for ethnic and classic food
>Only use the highest-rated recipes
>Never have any issues
>>7211607
Story?
>>7211942
In zone 3 and beyond in London you can afford a tiny square yard, but not in any European city center that I went to had yards. Nice parks but I rarely saw yards for the average person in cities.
>>7212240
>I COOKED A BULLS PENIS IN BOILING STOCK. I GOT THE RECIPE FROM ALLRECIPIES.COM! SOME NIGGER PUT THE RECIPE UP THERE AND IT TURNED OUT HORRIBLE! IT'S THE WEBSITES FAULT!
>>7211501
Literally makes my eyes hurt
>>7210248
>browsing on phone
>>7211275
stickies are for fags
>the store bought sauce tastes better than the recipe found on allrecipes
I just want to make a decent sweet and sour sauce.
>>7197122
>>7197279
I think that particular one is from grade 2 anon
>>7203632
>quite literally gag up up from semolina porridge in kindergarten and school
>try it again now
>it's like smooth, sweet tar flowing down my throat
>>7197693
>GUZZLE THICK ROPES OF DOBERMAN PINCHER SEMEN ERUPTING FROM DOG COCK LIKE A BUSBY BERKELEY SPECIAL
I know this is written as a parody but you sound like a furry anyway with your style of writing
>>7211935
>Americans need huge houses built out of cheap favela-tier materials because otherwise they get stuck in the corridor after feeding time
That's right Cletus, you can't be a real man if you don't buy this grill right here right now! You even get 10% off if you buy two!
>>7211944
Kekkles
Also checked
>>7204587
you like the wrong kind of bbq
>>7197591
>>7197600
>>7197638
>>7197661
>>7197693
Saved for posterity
