hey how do i not fuck up pasta Carbonara? i'm cooking it tomorrow for a cutie pie and I don't want to mess shit up
>>7191482
Just make sure it's a cream based carbonara and her panties will slide right off
This stuff. Just add noodles and frozen peas and carrots.
>>7191502
And some crispy bacon.
throw it on the wall if it sticks its done.
>>7191482
Make it tonight to practice
>>7191516
the sketti that is
>>7191516
the sauce, that is
>>7191482
start making some pasta in unsalted water - use the least amount of water you can, so that your pasta water is as starchy as possible
whisk some eggs with plenty of parmesan or or pecorino romano cheese
fry some bacon and don't drain it, and try to time this so the bacon is finishing around the time that the pasta is finishing. if you want garlic, cook it in the bacon fat too.
when the pasta is ready, put the noodles in with the bacon, stir it all up to distribute the bacon fat, then add the egg/cheese mix and some pasta water. stir quickly to incorporate into a sauce. plate it quickly, before the heat of the pan cooks the eggs too much. top with more cheese and a shit-ton of black pepper.
pasta carbonara is spaghetti with bacon and eggs so don't overthink it
>>7191500
tbf this is probably true
Why the fuck murricans are obsessed with carbonara? Seriouslly. Pls someone not trolling give me an answer.
>>7191579
My wife's kids love it so I make it all the time for them
>>7191579
Eye-talians from new jersey have given us the impression that they only eye-talian food that exists is pasta.
Eye-talians have been pushing their "gravy" (overboiled tomato mush dumped on a heap of mushy overboiled spaghetti) for generations, and carbonara seems like a refreshing breath of authenticity to us.
Usually the next step is
>muh bolognese
In which we discover, and repeat autistically to anymore who cares to listen, that bolognese is not in fact ground beef swimming in a can of tomato sauce.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-PKO2FrdPY
>>7191604
jesus fuck i'm gonna vomit
>>7191500
yes because that's what women love
classic recipes worsened towards blandness
>>7191590
Subtle
>>7191482
>i'm cooking it tomorrow for a cutie pie and I don't want to mess shit up
every time. how are cunts this retarded?
>>7191549
THIS!!!!
I initially used this recipe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3AAdKl1UYZs
http://www.antonio-carluccio.com/Spaghetti_alla_Carbonara
But I eyeball everything now. My market has small slabs of smoked Pork Jowl, and I use that instead of bacon, because I like that I can control the shape of the pieces and the ratio of meat to fat better than with bacon or pancetta. I usually also mix black pepper with the egg mix as well.
>>7191482
do this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjHkybaxqKY
i'm italian and this is "La carbonara" con la c maiuscola
>>7191591
I put both a carton of passata and a tin of tomatos in my bolognese :/
What's the best way of making carbonara without pork. Yes I know it won't be a real carbonara. How do I replace the taste of guanciale?
>>7192538
This negroid is familiar with events relating to the current situation.
>>7191502
Die alone and in grief you fucking subhuman
>>7192709
are you trying to do it without any meat or just pork?
>>7192714
Any meat but pork would do. I can't think of anything that would replicate the flavour.
>>7191520
>sketti
degenerate, hope you and your inbred family are sterilised
>>7192538
>olive oil with the bacon
vermin, more than enough fat in there, especially with the cream later on
>>7191482
OP, here is your carbonara recipe.
>Pasta
>Eggs
>Cream (ideally a mixture of double and single)
>Parmesan
>Salt
>Pepper
>Bacon cubes of some sort (I usually go for lardons, but as long as it's roughly cubic rather than slices then whatever)
>Garlic (chopped very finely, and plenty of it)
You miss out any of these or add anything else, you're a fucking retard and I hope you get what's coming to you you pompous inbred fuck.
On the topic of cream in carbonara, I must say, it's fucking hilarious how despite italian cuisine being top tier, they're completely fucking incapable of doing it well because they're all stupid. greasy, superstitious, ignorant, dogmatic morons who cling to things like "Noooo, mamma mia, you can't-a put-a cream-a in-a carbonara, no no no no no, don't-a you know-a that-a de ancient romans who-a invented-a it hadn't invented-a cream-a yet, and you don't-a use-a pancetta, no no no no the poor ancient farmers who-a invented-a it were so poor-a they-a had-a to use-a leftover pig anus-a", when actually carbonara was first invented in the mid 20th century, post-war, when the US brought shit tons of eggs and cream and bacon (not even pancetta, fucking bacon) to italy, and there is literally not a scrap of documentary evidence indicating carbonara ever existed before WWII.
Fucking pastaniggers
>>7192720
> there is literally not a scrap of documentary evidence indicating carbonara ever existed before WWII.
I have my grandmothers carbonara recipe from 1923.
Check mate.
>>7192538
I like his style (cheap).
What kind of monster installs a 2 burner stove in a kitchen though?
>>7192717
bresaola
>>7192729
No you don't you dumb fucking faggot, you think you can change the fucking world then share your amazing revelatory evidence of the origins of carbonara being 25 fucking years ahead of any historical documentation, you disgusting, hairy, superstitious southern european arab half-breed
>>7192738
>pasta aspergers
Noice!
>>7192709
>carbonara without pork
fucking muslim degenerate, go back to your desert and stay there where you belong
>>7192738
People like you are everything that's wrong with /ck/. You post lies, blatant bait and pseudo- historical bullshit because you are ignorant/uneducated or just plain inadequate.
You are a cancer and should be excised.
>>7192747
>pastanigger detected
>>7192750
English actually.
Never mind.
>>7192755
>tfw hitler will never rise from the dead to purge the infectious wave of disgusting pastaniggatry
>>7192705
You're an idiot.
You shouldn't be adding passata at all.
Beef mince, chopped tomatoes, garlic, onions, bay leaf and red wine. With tagliatelle and parmesan to top.
That's it. You can make variations from there when you're not a retard.
>>7192745
i one hundred percent approve of this post
>>7192755
>pastanigger immigrant detected
even worse tbqhwufam
>>7192764
>garlic
>in bolognese
don't tell people what they should or shouldn't do when you don't know how to make it right yourself
>>7191604
Holy shit. This can't be any good; however I would love to volunteer to cook that as a demonstration in my local grocery store to see passerby's reactions.
>>7191482
>hey how do i not fuck up pasta Carbonara? i'm cooking it tomorrow for a cutie pie and I don't want to mess shit up
Gotta fresh grate the cheese. Buy a wedge of parm and use your microplane grater on it for lovely fragrant shreds that will melt.
Gotta use non-smoky bacon source, if you want to be traditional here probably closest to guanciale or pancetta you find easily at every grocery is some prosciutto. The trick is that you want it slightly thicker than thickest american bacon, so don't be afraid to tell a deli person exactly what you want. Why buy from the deli, fresh-sliced? same as above for fresh flavors that come out when sliced to order.
I don't mind cream in mine, so feel free to cheat, dairy is dairy, and the parm is already dairy.
Practice mise en place to reduce stress, make a little pile of shredded parm, have those little lardons of pork rendered and crispy. To finish, dust the whole top with a smidge of fresh herbal flavor, whether parsley, basil or little bit of chive.
If you want to gild the lily as Mario B would say, borrow from the sicilian anchovy pasta (another basic dish), by adding some olive-oil pan-toasted garlic and homemade COARSE breadcrumbs to the top for texture. That's my go to pantry dish and pretty much tops all my basic craving pastas.
>>7191482
adding cream to your eggs is a cheap trick to make carbonara fail-safe. basically it is almost impossible to scramble your eggs when mixed with cream. so, if you're afraid of not being able to controll your temperature properly, add cream.
>>7192877
He wanted to impress his girl, not you.
Carbonara is best meme of 2015
>>7191604
poor seamonkey
don't be afraid of undercooking the eggs. turn the heat off when the pork is done cooking, and if you're using cast iron wait a minute for it to cool down a little. cream is a crutch for people who scramble their eggs because they put their shit in while the pan is too hot.
I love carbonara she is mai waifu
>>7191579
We're not. /ck/ is though.
>>7192538
>cream
>crowding the pasta pot
Please never cook again.
>>7191482
I know what you're missing OP. Knorr chicken stock pots, they'll make your spaghetti taste better than salt. You should try it.
