I'm having trouble. I finally got a job and I can't stop farting, I'm so embarrassed. They aren't the big loud ones, they are little and quiet but I have to pass gas every 3-4 minutes. The bad part is they apparently really stink. I don't think so but I'm used to it but now my coworkers will walk into a room or down the hallway I was in and comment about a rotting or bad smell. The worst was when my boss walked into the break room and said "whooooooo-eeeee! Boy, did you just SHIT?!?!" I never notice when I'm not working but its made me very self conscious. It surely is my diet, what are some things I can consume to reduce flatulance, or at least mask the smell.
Pls help, thanks
>>7190746
You've got it backwards, bro. There's no magic food you can eat which will stop flatulence. Instead you need to find what you are eating that is causing the flatulence and then stop eating that food.
Post your typical diet.
>>7190746
You're too fucking stupid to have that job so piss off.
Dont think you can reduce the gases in your stomach like that, they'll have to come out. The only way to do it is ending the cause.
You might have lactose intolerance and you dont know it yet, that is the most possible scenario.
Alternatively you might want to tell your boss to pay you more so that you can eat something other than beans beans every day.
Also, boiling your brocolli/cabbage more might help.
I've always just held my farts in if I'm around people. Gastrointestinal discomfort is the norm for me.
>>7190754
It varies a lot. Yesterday I had chicken salad and a cheeseburger, its bad today but not as bad. The day before I had pepperoni pizza and was leaking death gasses constantly.
>>7190771
might be the cheese
>>7190746
Take some beano and blame it on the dog or some fat bitch coworker.
I've found that the loud ones usually aren't the smelliest, it's those silent but deadly ones that cause an uproar.
That said, never admit to anything.
Yeah, you'll have to just hold it in until you can figure out how to stop brewing up your own personal Hindenturd escort. Whenever I have to work in an office I save it all up until my lunch break and go sing backwards songs to the porcelain alter.
>>7190771
It's obviously the cheese. You may be lactose intolerant.
>>7190790
I have a feeling OP is the fat bitch coworker
>>7190746
Personally id crop dust people all the time untill my gas clears up. I used to work in an call center and would cropdust people i hated asi went to break or lunch so by the ine they smelt it i would be in thw break room and they would blame each other. Never fart at your work and if you have to. Look around and act like someone did it to you.
>>7190880
Fucking keyboard.
>>7190801
>Moron.exe
Fuck off.
>>7190880
>I used to work in an call center and would cropdust people i hated asi went to break or lunch
I used to do exactly the same thing when I worked in a call center. My favorite was cropdusting our director who was a total fucking tool. His cube was on the way from my desk to the bathroom so I would always dry to discreetly mark my passage past his desk when I had to go take a dump.
>>7190900
I would make sure it wasnt out of the way and they were on the phones so i wouldn't raise suspicion. I didnt do it to many people but these were the brown nosing assholes that threw everyone under the bus. Thankfully i never got caught.
If you want i have a few funny stories of successful cropdustings that had maximum luls
i hope tyou get beaten fucjking jew
>>7190923
learn to type nigger
Alright guys I avoided cheese today. I had a BBQ beef sandwich for lunch and spicy taco soup for dinner and a whole bunch of parsley. Hopefully tomorrow will be better.
>>7190919
>If you want i have a few funny stories of successful cropdustings that had maximum luls
Oh no, this is 4chan we definately don't want to hear about shit like this......
>>7190746
Try chewing your food twice as much as usual and see if that helps. Also avoid consuming dairy and acids in the same meal.
Taking activated charcoal and wearing charcoal pads in your underwear can reduce the smell. The activated charcoal will also reduce your vitamin uptake, however.
>>7190811
Aye, you're likely right.
>>7190746
they do make some anti-fart underwear that supposedly block the smell
>>7191971
I figured an upstanding korean pixel forum would hate that. But to your dismay ill start with a few.
No green text
This was after i was thrown under the bus for something stupid. I sorted it out with the boss that i wasnt even responsible but why do it? So the clique of people that threw me under the bus was gonna get it.. Oh man i laid low for a week and started my gurella compaign. At first id do small package drops here and there to raise suspicion of who it was. Then after a few days id start to pit them on themselves by in their row lay smellier ones but each time id stop by another member of the 4 person cliqe and be subtle act like i smell a fart from one of the other of their row and feign a subtle disgust so others in the call center would start to take notice
>>7192013
Cont. So after a bit id slowly narrow it to one that was the douchiest (like fred durst douchey) and associate my fart smell with him. I'd Nuance it by poopin while he was in the bathroom or start crop dusting by him in the vreak room keeping a very low profile always move with purpose to not arouse suspicion. Id wait till his back was turned and i had an escape to make people feel it was him but not force it, onlyy suspicion. Cont
>>7190746
Maybe you're a morning pooper like me. Try shitting before work or when you're at work early in the day.
>>7190886
cunt.com
>>7192036
Now at this point the ball is rolling. I finally decided to be more bold. I noticed him talking to a girl who was new. As per my usual bombing run to break i carpet bombed her first so she would smell it coming from his direction and be long gone by then. Needless to say she wasnt okay with him doing that. So now this is about a couple months by now of slowly doing this its time for a two part grand finale because callcenters are hotbeds of gossip and hes getting talked about cont.
>>7192065
Aww, but look at this babby porcupine. Doesn't your hard heart just melt?
>>7192065
So now with him getting irritated by the gossip i put my one two punch in action. I come into work and drop off gas x and charcoal tablets on his desk on his day off. First thing he sees is the gas x and his face is red. He takes them and throws them across the room and huffs" this isnt funny!" he slumps down and luls are starting. Now the second part is gonna be the smoking gun i build up by eating any food that gives me gas and bad gas at that. This is done over the weekend so i can reallydo this. I get to the point of rehersing this at home the whole weekend. So my monday rolls around and man ive been having gas but this has veen worth it to wait for the time to strike. So with bubble guts and to push my gas over i drink baking soda and water to give it that kick. So. Waited for that perfect moment and fart because its now or never. I feel my stpmache balloon up and decide this is it. This is the fart. By the grace of god it was a swamped day and no one has time to look away from their screen so i time my steps to prep my colon . as i reach him i just unload . it was like those chain of fire crackers. My weekend of rehearsing paid off and was able to act shocked behind him and it got quiet... I just stared at him. "dude, really?" i asked and he was being looked at and he just started stammering and fluster. He started cussing in frustration! In the end he got written up for yelling multiple times. I had luls
>>7192114
He should have beat the hell out of you.
>>7192329
He didn't know it was me. :^).
Why are you buttmad?
Did you have a phantom flatulentor tormenting you?
>>7192388
Yes. I think I know who it is but I can't prove it.
>>7192392
What douchey thing did you do to deserve it?
>>7192402
>constantly farting in public
>thinks I'm the gross one
And it is you're, retard.
>>7192398
Nothing. I'm cool. The hardest worker there except for one guy who always turns up early and effectively does overtime for free.
>>7192406
Im not the one that smells like something that would attract a ham planet you disgusting fuck.
>you're
I bet she's attracted to your fedora and cheeto crusted finger tips.
>>7192407
>does overtime for free and is a suck up.
>im the cool one.
Sorry but you're not as cool as you think if you have someone crop dusting you
>>7192416
>Im not the one that smells like something that would attract a ham planet you disgusting fuck.
What the hell are you talking about?
>>7192420
You're the one that said you had a disgusting bitch attracted to you am i wrong?
>>7192428
Guess I forgot to put the "you're" in front of just. Sorry for the miscommunication. you gross bitch.
>>7190759
Don't listen to this inbred. He spouts rot.
>>7192439
>>7192456
How is that projecting? You're going around farting in public and purposefully farting on people. Anyone in their right mind would think thats fucking gross.
>>7192463
Calling people disgusting and wondering why disgusting bitches are attracted to you.
I didnt fart on him. I farted near gim and walked away in a brisk pace so people thought it was him. Big difference retard.
>>7192476
Him*
I'd say if you don't wanna smell like anything you should go vegan. Your farts will smell fluffy and friendly (if you don't eat too much fat) and your sweat won't smell like anything. You'll notice a difference within a few months
>>7190886
But that's a potentially sound theory isn't it? From what I've read the main symptom of lactose intolerance is flatulence in reaction to eating/drinking dairy.
>>7190746
Just hold your farts in. I do this at work and when I get in my car I just rip the loudest and foulest 5sec fart imaginable
>>7192069
that's a hedgehog you dumb shit
did I just get b8ed?
Thread is tl;dr
If you fart at work, spray some Windex in the air right above your desk. The ammonia will fix it quick.
(And stop eating stuff that makes you fart)
Beans
Cheese
Sprouts
Chlorophyll capsules can help a lot. Not too expensive either.
