>Buy a jar of classico tomato sauce
>It's too tight to open
You're a man.
If you can't open it with your pussy limp wrists, smash the jar open and regain your dignity.
>>7165449
>being a woman
Poke a hole in the lid.
Wedge a fork under the rim and pry it open just a little bit so air gets in and the seal is broken. Makes it easier to open after.
you gotta knife and hammer that sucker
>>7165449
>buying Classico and not Prego
Deserved it, faggot.
>>7165449
Use a kitchen towel to get a better grip.
>literally being so pleb that you buy the SIMPLEST of all sauces as a premade conconction in a jar
>>7165530
>doing extra work when there is a perfectly fine premade alternative
DIYfags are the worst
>>7165539
>industrial waste that's tomato flavoured is perfectly fine
Flyovers are the worst.
>>7165539
>literally being proud of your own incompetence and shit palate
Fuck the midwest.
hit the sides of the lid with the handle of a spoon or fork it lets a small amount of air in so you can open it easily.
>>7165539
you probably think wonder bread is better than homemade too
>have rare blood disease
>anemia reaches critical levels
>strength seriously reduced
>get diagnosed
>spend a week in hospital getting my shit sorted out
>receive 6 units of blood
>get out of hospital
>can open any jar I want, strength hath returned
>>7165539
lmfao, wow you seriously have 0 knowledge of food quality. get off this board. also enjoy your heart disease from all the sodium
>>7165575
>sodium causes heart disease
This meme needs to die.
All the added sugar in industrial waste aka premade canned pasta sauce can definitely lead to heart disease, because sugar causes heart disease.
>>7165582
Okay sure. But I know that we can both definitely agree that pre-made pasta sauce is complete garbage
>>7165539
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Use a rubber glove you stupid nigger.
>>7165572
How does it feel having someone else's blood in you?
>>7165674
Not him but I've had three blood transfusions over the past three months. You feel pretty fucking great afterward.
>>7165704
What if the blood came from a hipster or a neckbeard.
>>7165449
>gtf/fit/
>>7165722
I don't care if it came from an African warlord. If it keeps me alive, I'll take it.
>>7165544
>>7165546
>>7165554
>>7165575
>>7165614
You really are the stupidest, densest fuckers on this board replying to the most obvious bait. Did that make you feel "smart", falling over yourselves to post that weak self assurance that you do know how to "cook"? Do you really feel better now? Now that you " told " that man on the internet?
>>7165849
>someone has hurt feelings
>>7165744
>I don't care if it came from an African warlord
You what?
You're meant to get that kind of blood, the blood of the most powerful beings available at the time, so you can absorb their powers.
This is why whenever I go fishing and happen to catch a shark, I drain all of the blood and drink it. So I can gain super shark powers.
>>7165539
I actually agree with this, as long as you get a good brand. Sometimes the pre-jarred stuff is just as good as what you can make at home, and usually a lot cheaper / less wasteful as well.
>>7165877
What good are shark super powers going to do on land?
Might help you circle around objects before you bite them.
>>7165885
Kek'd
>>7165449
>what is physics
Take a pot, pour water in it, put your jar upside down and start warming the pot in a stove.
You'll be able to open it after a few minutes.
Give up that pussy and get yourself a man you homely bitch!
>>7165482
>not buying Ragu
Bang four sides of the lid on a table
Presto changeo, you can now open it
>>7165449
>not having a boyfriend to do it for you
I bet your still a virgin too
Get one of these, then.
>>7165449
Run hot water over the lid. It'll cause it to expand and make opening it easier.
>not buying fresh ingredients and making sauce yourself
Thought this was /ck/, not /cannedgoods/
>>7166349
No, faggot. You either warm up the whole thing to make the contents expand or you cool down the lid.
>>7165849
We're on a cooking board, anon.
A butterknife jammed under the lid edge and tilted outwards so it deforms the lid until you hear the lid pop is the best technique and works on most jars. You shouldn't bend the knife, it only takes a bit of pressure if you do it right. In the meantime buy one of those grip strength things.
t. a 'man' with baby hands
>>7165449
unlike your mom's ass
>>7165449
Just put the jar in a bowl or something and smash it. Now you just have to remove a few shards of broken glass.
>>7165449
I opened tight jars by hitting the head of a jar lightly on the counter.
Hitting it on the counter causes some gas to escape which allows you to open the lid of the jar.
>>7165674
>>7165704
>>7165722
>>7165744
>>7165877
There are experiments done on this and old rats given blood transfusions of blood from younger rats become stronger and more energized.
The people in charge of blood donations generally prefer the blood of young, fit people.
So the temporary high you are feeling is the high you get from having the essence of hot blooded youth flowing through your veins.
You are feeling close to what vampires feel when they drink the blood of virgins.
I can open those jars with my mantitties
>>7168232
someone actually thought this was funny enough to post.
