Anyone have roommates who are good/shit at cooking? My roommate literally eats spanish omlette every night. I even offer to cook for him sometimes, but he's mumbles something about macros and carbohydrates and shit
And he never fucking washes up
>>7067310
Sounds like someone's being a gains goblin
>>7067310
My cousin is moving in with me pretty soon.
I can cook fairly well, but I grew up a privileged shit with a dishwasher and hate doing dishes. I'm not saying she can't cook, but she only really knows the most basic things. She also likes cleaning.
>this will work out nicely I believe
>>7067332
>she
hi
>>7067310
Why would he mumble about carbs when he's eating potatos?
>>7067339
I don't know, he's a /fit/ moron but thinks potatos are vegetables
Had a Thai roommate. When she replied with interest to live in my flat, she insisted that she needed a kitchen so she could cook for herself.
We wound up cooking for each other, me introducing her to Neapolitan cuisine, American southern cuisine and Sri Lankan food and she introduced me to Thai home cooking (already knew some restaurant stuff, though not how to cook it necessarily, but not home cooking).
I fell in love with raw/sour pork sausage, tins of Sealect tuna in green curry, pickled mustards stir fry and these Thai taco-like things she made a few times. We went back and forth bouncing who'd cook dinner that night off each other. She was a great roommate and cook.
I now live alone but only because my roommate moved out a few months ago.
He was one of those guys who thought he could cook, but nothing was further from the truth.
>we sit in the kitchen talking
>he's pan frying some meatballs
>heat is on the highest setting
>oil splattering everywhere
>tell him to reduce the heat now and cover with lid
>he says not to worry i know what i'm doing
>proceeds to put lid on pan
>does not touch the heat setting
>keeps on talking to me and drinking beer as i'm trying to look behind him at the extremely loud sizzling sound on the stove
>3 times I told him to reduce or at this point turn off the heat
>he ignored it all 3 and ignored the smoke
>roughly 20-5 minutes at high heat with the lid on
>basically charcoal was in the pan
>best part was that he actually ate them, smothered them in "his special sauce" which is the combination of ketchup mustard and mayo and tried his hardest to look like he was enjoying the meal
>with every other bite I heard crunching sounds
>he said they were very juicy
I've got a few more if anyone is lurking
>>7067377
I'm here, shoot.
>>7067310
I had a roommate for about a year and the first and last time that I used that kitchen was when a opened a cupboard above the stove and a fuckin' roach fell down. That could been into a pot or something. From that time on I either got delivery or take out or just went out. I never used that kitchen. Fuckin' vile shit.
>>7067386
that was in NYC in Chelsea, I got outta that shithole after about a year.
Here's another one in upper manhattan, fuckin rats everywhere, but I guess they appeal to niggers or something, I only lasted there about 2 weeks and was fuck all out of that place. There are fuckin' rats everywhere. It's fucking shit out of bizarroworld.
>>7067386
The funny thing was, he was of course a new york times reader, but his kitchen was filled with fuckin cockroaches the fucker!
>>7067310
I've got one
This lad would put heinz salad cream on EVERY fucking thing. But that's by the by.
>Be uni students, frugal as fuck and always checking out the discount fridge in Asda.
>Mate picks up pack of sausage meat, buy it and freezes it.
>A couple of days later he is hungry and asks if he can have 2 slices of bread from me, say no problem.
>Mate proceeds to stick block of frozen sausage meat in microwave for 5 minutes
>Opens microwave and puts sausage meat in between the slices of bread
>Sticks shit loads of salad cream on it and cuts in half.
>Blood oozing from middle of sandwich so I tell him that's gonna give him food poisoning.
>Eats it anyway
He ends up throwing up all that night. Loved the dude but had no life skills sometimes. Came home once to find him sitting crosslegged on the floor in his underwear behind the cooker that had been pulled out fiddling with the wires because the fuse in it had blown in the middle of the afternoon.
Teflon = scratched to hell
Cast iron = treated like shit
What's a safe material for cookware I could use? Just plain stainless?
>>7067415
yeah a nice heavy stainless set is REALLY forgiving when it comes to getting beat up. and your not consuming Teflon poison
I have a roommate who literally only eats rigatoni, prego, and kielbasa. Actually washes the dishes but it takes him a week and he only uses the rough side of the sponge so nothing is ever cleaned, and he never washes the silverware.
>>7067415
If you hide all the metal and have wooden spoons and spatulas right next to the stove, it isn't too much of a problem. I've grown to love enameled pans because I broil. It sucks when they scratch, but not much else acts like teflon when you deglaze and they aren't easy to scratch up.
One guy who thought he was hot shit, always just chopped up chillis, poured in tin tomatos, and served with well overcooked pasta. He always offered to cook for me, no thanks
>>7067332
Ha yea she might wash dishes the first week and maybe the 2nd but after that its going to BBC day and night with that slut. You will do all the cooking and cleaning, you will be her bitch.
>>7067385
A sort of related story
>He is making steak
>It looked like an expensive one, thick nice marling
>He then tells me of a marinade he's seen online
>Pretty basic beef marinade but definitely not for a steak
>He then gets a skewer
>allofmywat.jpeg
>starts making holes in the steak by jabbing it
>doesnt pierce it but the meat is horrible to look at now and the texture would be ruined
>Says that he will marinate it overnight
>Next evening comes, we are again together drinking beer in the kitchen
>As he prepares to cook his "steak" I can only wonder what will befall it next
>Everything seems fine so far
>olive oil in the pan on high
>the steak is getting a nice sear
>a bit too nice of a sear now
>ok stop
>ask him how well he eats his steak
>medium
>you've clearly passed this point
>he does the iknowwhatimdoing face
>at least 5-6 minutes on each side
>doesn't look all that bad but definitely not a medium any more
>he proceeds to turn on the oven
>nigger what are you doing
>"and now to finish it off"
>the steak does roughly 10 minutes in the oven
>You can guess what the steak looked like
>it had shrivelled almost half in size somehow
>He then cut it up into bite sized pieces so it wasnt even a mockery of a steak any more
Wa la
>>7067450
Her sister that she lives with now destroys the house all the time, so she's probably going to be slightly more grateful that she doesent have to do all the cleaning since I hate a dirty house and I generally like everything in its place.
Also
My names on the lease, if she's causing more problems then assisting her ass is going to the curb. Family or not.
>>7067335
Wat.
>>7067310
I had one foreign room-mate who kept trying to make cakes from meme recipes she found on websites like buzzfeed
I'm not a huge fan of cake anyway, but even thinking about her offerings makes me want to barf. She didn't seem to understand that when you're baking you can't really substitute ingredients for other things. She served us things like "flapjack" (dry cereal mixed with honey into a sloppy mess and sprinkled with sugar) and "brownies" (microwaved white bread with nutella and honey).
Everyone was too polite to spit it out so we all sat there with this shit in our mouths, trying not to swallow but pretending to enjoy it
she also thought that dominos was amazing pizza
>>7067457
>he proceeds to turn on the oven
>>7067465
>she also thought that dominos was amazing pizza
it is
>>7067481
Don't you have a "barbecue" thread to be posting in, flyover? The adults are talking.
>>7067486
I'm italian
>>7067491
no, I am
>>7067491
And I'm allegedly cherokee, what are you getting at? Dominos is vile and the crust is sugary sweet.
>>7067495
oh so you're just opining, good to know
>>7067499
>it's okay when I do it but not when anyone else does
You might actually be eurotrash with opinions like that.
>>7067500
Yes I'm italian
>>7067310
My old roommate (pic related) thought he was an amazing cook but really didn't know shit. Here's an example of the time he made Tuna Helper
>makes tuna helper
>buys tuna steaks and choos them up because richfag
>adds a can of black olives (including the liquid)
>adds a can of mushrooms (and liquid)
>adds a can of corn (and liquid)
>adds a jar of capers
>adds a whole.white onion, sliced
>adds ungodly amounts of cayenne, paprika, garlic salt, garlic powder, onion powder, adobo seasoning, and some of just about every seasoning we had
>adds a ton of Tabasco
>adds about 12 Kraft American cheese slices
>never stops addidng salt and pepper
At this point our largest skillet was nearly overflowing.
>he makes a giant plate of the slop
>eats a few bites
>acts like it's delicious
>puts the rest into like 4 large tupperware containers
>it sits in the fridge for months, never touched
>one day it's all in the garbage
It was really just funny to watch. He was actually a decent roomie, but just delusional about his cooking abilities
>>7067503
>Yes I'm italian
Opinion discarded.
>>7067377
More please
>>7067310
My housemate likes brown toast for 1st course, white for pudding (but he actually loves brown toast). What a sausagemuncher.
My roommate watched far too much Come Dine With Me, and so tried to organise a 'dinner party'. Since it was his idea, he made the main course, which he planned to roast a joint of pork, served with roast veggies and apple sauce and gravy, and I worked on the dessert. I made White chocolate Panna Cotta with raspberry coulis and brandy snaps. Prepped all in advance, so I was clear. So the "guests" (students who lived in the flat opposite) were to arrive at 6pm, and so at 4:30 I go into the kitchen to help out. He's not there. I call him up, he's in sainsburys, buying the ingredients. So in the end he brings home a fucking massive pork joint, and he puts it in the oven. Guests arrive, the pork is obviously hours away from beig cooked, so his plan was first to microwave it, which he did, then he sliced it up and started to pan fry it. The pork turns to literal leather which no one can eat.
So in the end we give up and just order pizza.
>>7067526
you should have just left it in for a few more hours whilst getting shitfaced
just imagine lying on the sofa drunk with a big plate of roast pork
>>7067534
Yeah that's what I thought but he kind of went rogue with the microwave
>>7067457
I'll carry on just in case anyone is interested.
>Sunday around noon
>roommate decides to make an omelette
>asks me if I want any
>tell him no, I can't eat when im hungover (which is true)
>now his take on an omelette is a bit different to yours or mine
>gets a big bowl, starts cracking eggs
>after the 5th egg i got interested in the recipe
>Nine freakin eggs, and those were the large variety - quite big
>Now this time I kept silent,
>I had learned from past experiences + I was hungover and couldnt be bothered
>he then adds a half a cup of water and half a cup of milk into the mix
>using two forks he starts whisking
>does so for about 30 seconds
>he then reaches into the fridge and produces a couple of franks and an onion
>roughly chops the onions and the franks then tosses everything with the eggs
>no salt or pepper or any seasoning
>thereisnogod.exe
>now, he's not stupid - he sized up the amount of of ingredients and then the size of the pan
>we didnt have a pan big enough not to overflow
>he had an idea it would seem
>I love stir fry so naturally i own a wok
>i was in both awe and shock when he reached for it, anyway..
>he waited for it to heat up, put a lot of oil in, and using two hands poured the contents of the mixing bowl in the wok
>as you may recall he the notion of heat control is alien to him
>7-8 minutes in a wok on high heat
>it was starting to smoke
>I don't know whether he had used a wok before
>here's what happened next
>he tried to do the down-forward/backward motion you do with a wok
>now because of (I assume) the sheer weight of the "omelette" concoction he couldnt hold on to it in one hand so it slipped from his grip
>wok fell on the ground omelette still inside
>raw bits of egg splattered around, but the main bulk of the omelette was firmly stuck inside.
>Undeterred, he just flipped it over and put it on a plate (with some effort)
>the result was (because of the shape of the wok) a black egg cake with bits of charred onion
My roommate was a great cook, I was the one who couldn't cook a decent meal to save my life even when I was 25
>move in with a random dude in collge
>he turns out to be funny, intelligent, got a heart of gold
>we start to buy foods together, lots of vegetables and fruits, mostly healthy things, later we'd cook together and goof off in the kitchens
>he's like 5 years younger than I am, but he can literally cook the best meals
>he starts teaching me - I get pretty good at certain foods
>fell madly in love with him 3 months in, but he's straight, and had a girlfriend at home
>it's like being in heaven and hell at the same time, we were almost like a couple minus the sex
>endure this until the year is over, move back home
>my heart breaks in two, then starts rotting in my chest, but continue to learn cooking new foods tho, being inspired by his talent
I mean, it's not like he was my soulmate or anything. I bet before I was born, they were asking, yo, what do you wanna accomplish this life - and I was like, just fuck my shit up fa.m
>>7067343
He's probably a bread hater.
>inb4 "eating bread"
>>7067560
That's a touching story, anon. I like it.
>>7067560
>buy foods together
It's called food.
>in the kitchens
Why do you have more than one kitchen?
>>7067629
Oh, noble jedis, not in the faces!
>>7067555
Really enjoying these, thanks anon.
>>7067693
you're welcome anon
I have a few more, but nothing quite so interesting i'm afraid
>>7067629
>Why do you have more than one kitchen?
It was a college dorm anon, people didn't have individual kitchens in their rooms, but a couple of large shared ones. It was fun.
>It's called food.
I don't know how to grammar. Sorry.
Nothing wrong with how my roommate cooks. She's from India, so a lot of spices but I like the smell.
Problem is, she's using my cooking utensils, and she never washes them. (Or the kitchen altogether.) Is it an Indian thing? Or just her?
I have two house mates.
First one is a cool guy.
>Ham and cheese and onion toasted sandwiches
>Nutella sandwiches
>Crackers with jam or nutella
>Chicken curry
>Pre made sauce
>Throws in veg
>Throws in chicken
He gets two or three meals out of it. Batch cook.
Oh and one night he had fish fingers.
He isn't into his cooking but he knows good food despite keeping things simple in the kitchen. Enjoys dining in restaurants at the weekend.
Then there is the other.....
Meal one:
>Full Irish/English breakfast most days
Meal two
>Bakes 3 chicken breasts (for about an hour at max heat)
>Microwaved rice with entire packet or boiled potatoes with loadsa butter
>Jar of curry sauce
Meal Three
>Half cooked frozen pizzas
Usually if he has a pizza, he has some chicken and potatoes too
>Turns heat up to top when frying
>oil spits everywhere
The sausages he cooks are black. He once fried onions and scorched the place.
The kitchen is always super greasy after he cooks, you can feel it on your hands when you touch the fridge door.
One day I was leaving the house and discovered butter all over the handle of the house door. It was odd.
So you have to clean up after him, because god bless him he can't. He is also slowly ruining the pan the land lady provided. (I use my own so its no big deal.)
Hes also one of those people who "cleans" and then puts plates back with the others, dirtying multiple plates.
All I'll say is, thank jebus for Sanitary wipes.
>>7067525
Piss off, work-shy free-loader
>>7067748
indian thing
I recently left a batch of shitty roommates. They all thought they could cook. 3 were spanish. Their food was fucking atrocious. Over cooked rice,and the same with chicken. The salt levels of the food was coma inducing. I wouldn't mind but they brag about how "bangin" it was. And big each other up even though its shit. Also never cleaned up shit. Inside or outside the kitchen. Fucking animals. There was a nord. He could only man the grill,and make soup. And by soup i mean bouillon cubes and everything you can find boiled until you can snort it through a straw. Would do "homemade" cups of ramen literally 2 bouillon cubes 1cup of water. Also never cleaned shit. And would use 50 pans for one dish. The last one was some filthy jew. He was literally filthy. We had to make him shoeer. But he could cook decently. And cleand up the dishes. Thank god i moved.
>>7067457
Fucking steak, man. I had a similar one.
>Roommate making a big fuss about cooking a steak dinner tonight, bought a moderately expensive cut and was going on about how lavish it was going to be to eat steak as a poor uni student
>Hang around to see him cook it, bearing in mind he never cooks
>Puts wok (????) on the stove
>"Well all the other pans are dirty, it'll be fine anon"
>Pours in half an inch of oil into the wok, then turns on the heat
>While it's "heating up", takes the steak out of the fridge
>Plops the cold steak into the cold oil in the wok
>external screaming.jpg
>"Oh anon stop being such a food snob, not everything has to be perfect"
>Sit in horror watching this poor steak swimming in lukewarm oil slowly turn grey
He was genuinely proud of it afterwards.
> make oven BBQ chicken because I was lazy
> offer some to my roommate
> he has no idea how to cook
> he asks me for the recipe
> literally chicken and BBQ sauce in the oven for 30 minutes.
So he made oven BBQ chicken every single day until I moved out.
>have fully stocked kitchen with everything you could ever need
>knifes that get sharpened regularly
>catch new flatmate ruining a knife by cutting stuff on a plate
>tell him to use the chopping block and show him how to hold the knife
>next day
>flatmate cuts everything with a butter knife on a fucking plate
>never stops doing it that way
>>7067826
Wait until he hears about satay chicken
I had roommates who used to be my friends, but they started treating me like shit. But every time they cooked "fried rice" I felt way better about myself.
>used rice straight from the rice cooker
>didn't even use less water
>didn't even fry the rice, just heated it up
>huge chunks of chicken
>no vegetables
They also had a set of skillets that I could not tell if they were non-stick or not. If they were they sucked, there was always a layer of burnt egg stuck to it. If they weren't they had no idea how to cook without the aid of non-stick cookware.
>>7067801
I used to be the worst at cooking steak. I learned from my parents to just put them in the oven on broil. One time I saw a roommate cook these large, thin steaks the same way and I cringed.
>>7067880
>Doesn't even bother adding laxatives and hallucinogens to their food
You're terrible at being passive aggressive.
my roommate usually just cooks incredibly greasy, artery-clogging foods in his nasty ass skillet. he'll just leave it sitting there for days and it can get really disgusting. otherwise he'll just eat frozen meals or instant noodles. this isn't the worst part though.
>always uses half the container of salt/spices on his shit which got to the point where i started hiding them
>always stole my plastic containers and always broke them which i also started hiding
>has absolutely NO idea how to wash plates or utensils
>leaves huge pieces of shit like ketchup or whatever on everything, which i always have to clean up after
>doesn't understand how to use a dish rack, just throws shit in there or shoves multiple plates into a single slot
>never moves my dishes out of there if i'm not home to get them out myself and just stacks everything on top of each other
>trying to move shit out of there can be scary as hell since it seems like the plates are all going to fall on each other and break (this happened with some glass cups i had, switched to plastic cups immediately after)
>never EVER squeezes the water out of the sponge or ever gets any gunk off the sponge
>its always filled with cold ass water and is either covered in butter or covered in grease
he never cleans the kitchen up either. i swear, if i didn't do it we would have shit growing in the kitchen and microwave/fridge. my roommate before him wasn't that great either. he'd waste so much food and he'd always dump dishes in the sink without rinsing them off first, fill up the sink with water, dump his cigarette butts/q-tips/gum wrappers/other shit in there with everything, and would somehow while washing up wouldn't get all the shit off the plates and leave a thick layer of soap on everything. "but it dries off!" he would say, and later get confused and not understand why his food tasted like soap and wonder why the cups would stick to the cupboard. i can't wait to live by myself.
>>7067899
I hate passive aggressive roommates I refuse to be one. One year I had one that was considering keeping all of her cookware (which was most of what we had in the apartment) in her room and we had to ask permission to use anything. She also printed out signs that pretty much covered the kitchen with notes like "clean your dishes" "wipe down the stove".
With those roommates in my first story I got so tired of doing their dishes I only washed my own by hand. I couldn't count the times I saw dishes I clean tossed back into the sink.
I used to have a 35-year-old alcoholic bartender as a roomate. All his fucking money went to drinking, so every night he would stumble in loudly drunk and make noodles with margarine. That's basically all he ever ate.
And he would fuck the ugliest, fat, busted-face bitches ever. Loudly.
God I hated that piece of shit.
>>7067952
And he was too cheap to buy TOILET PAPER, so often times I would find unflushed shit in the toilet. He would just shower after taking a shit, and his stupid hungover ass would forget to flush.
I used to live with a friend of mine and a law student. My buddy could follow a recipe if he wanted to impress someone, but mostly he just ate cold sandwiches, fried eggs, frozen pizza or ramen.
The lawstudent on the other hand:
>pretty good at baking, alright at cooking
>makes a batch of food for two people, eats half a serving, then throws it in the thrash
>never offering any of us even her leftovers
>Would throw a shitfit and keep all of her cooking utensils in her room because my other roommate hadn't cleaned in a while
>Once made a pizza base out of tuna and egg yolks
>most of it ended up in the thrash
I particularly remember one story from the first month we lived together
>party coming up
>see her in the kitchen unpacking a whole bag of nimm2 fruit candy
>throws all of them in a bowl
>Empties a bottle of corn schnapps over it
>pops it in the fridge
The next night the candy had dissolved completely and she and her friends proceeded to mix that stuff with multivitamine juice and get shitfaced.
I lived with 3 other guys in college and we had a great party house. Decent kitchen, and fortunately my roommates except one could cook pretty well. We'd usually do simple things like hamburger helper, baked chicken breasts, crock pot stuff, etc. Meals that would serve most or all of us and make good leftovers.
Best part about 2 of my roommates who were brothers is that they are big hunters. Hunting isn't my thing, but I definitely enjoyed their harvest. Venison for months on end, quail and dove they would bring back and grill up in a family secret marinade that was god tier. Also, they had some weird affinity for making dips. They made a Buffalo Chicken and Ranch dip that blew my mind it was so good. They also had a deep fryer, so once in a blue moon we'd get drunk and just fry whatever we had on hand up. Good times. Also, deep fried turkey for thanksgiving... Yum. I don't miss the grungy lifestyle and school, but damnit I miss boozing with my buddies every day and hangin out in our house. We always had 6-10 people in it at all time just watchin sports or crashing there for a few days or hungover from the night before. Fun unless you were craving privacy.
/nostalgia
>>7067955
Nothing wrong with that, the shower is the poor man's bidet
>One of 3 Roommates calls himself a chef and worked in a restaurant
>All his food has a strong vinegar taste with a strange spicy oil taste.
>Braised chicken in beer and some sort of spicy vinegar oil stuff. It was awful. The left overs sat in the fridge forever.
>He is not appalled by the disgusting state of the kitchen or helps clean the kitchen.
>Doesn't pay attention to basic food safety with keeping uncooked meat at the bottom of the fridge away from the cooked food to avoid possible contamination from fluid leaking down.
>Freezer is completely full with MOLD in it.
>Trash is always full. I'm the only one that takes it out. Flies galore.
I'm here until the end of the lease and I'm getting the fuck out. I moved into the house and didn't look at how they lived closely enough before moving in.
We've had wave after wave of bugs.
>Pantry moths
>Carpet Beetles
>Fruit Flies
>Regular flies
I'm still battling the fucking carpet beetles. They claim to not notice them in their clothes. I call bullshit but whatever.
>>7068201
Ken M is great
>>7067703
same anon that posted the omelet cake greentext
Just returned from work and remembered a few other instances of roommate hell's kitchen
>decide to make deep-fried pork
>go to my butcher and buy this amazing looking chunks of diced pork
>when i return home, roommate asks what im making
>tell him, he likes the idea and instantly decides to help saying he knows a great recipe
>take none of his shit and tell him i'm doing it my way but he can still help
>basically knowing him i let him help with the bare minimum (breading and coating)
>so fill up a high wall pan with sunflower oil and flavour it with sesame oil (smell is amazing)
>since the pan isnt big have to do it in like 5 - 6 batches (it was a lot of pork)
>I tasted the 1st batch after it had cooled - shit was cash, crispy, juicy a little spicy
>roommate seems to enjoy deep-frying as we take turns on batches
>by batch 3-4 i really need to go to the bathroom (we drink beer as we cook)
>tell roommate to just carry on and i'll be back in a jiffy
>as i'm draining the lizzard i hear an infernal sizzling noise followed by a shriek
>run back to kitchen, roommate is clutching his arm, OIL EVERYWHERE, get splashed myself on the forehead
>remove pan from heat ask him what happened
>"the oil was getting a bit low so i poured a cup of water in to bring it up...."
>he poured water in boiling oil..
>he went to the GP the next day to get sum skin salve
>pork was still amazing btw
>>7068201
Ken M is the king
>>7067760
> howard stern w/sanitary wipes detected
>>7067768
Pennsylvania?
>3 roommates
>2 of them only clean dishes once a month, before the cleaning service comes (part of our renting-service)
>i only clean my dishes
>they never reach the sink
>other one has lived with them for 2 years before i joined them
>was literally c|_|cked by one of them
>tries to keep up with the dishes but literally can't due to how much they generate
its horrible, and their food is even more disgusting, just yesterday I saw one of them microwaving some chinese takeout
>literally puts 2 table spoons of margarine into the center while microwaving
>i just leave the room dumbfounded at this
that isn't even the worst thing i've seen, just the most recent. I wish i hadn't chosen the easy option, I wouldn't have to be living with a landwhale and a dirty negress.
Atleast the keked guy is okay, he'd be an alcoholic if he wasn't poor as shit and jobless.
>>7067801
>"Well all the other pans are dirty, it'll be fine anon"
Fuck that. This is my pet peeve in regard to dishes. If you need a dish and there are dirty dishes fucking WASH THE ONES YOU NEED. Nobody ever wants to do the dishes because there are so many, but nobody ever wants to prevent the pile up either. I wash at least two of everything I need so long as there are dishes in the sink in order to chip away at the mess.
>>7067933
Eh, I keep my nice pan and knife in my room. It's my shit and I'm an adult who doesn't have to explain that to a room mate. Also my room mates are idiots and all of their pans are scratched to shit. I tried to explain knife/metal use on a pan and they just laughed at me.
>>7067310
I was a shit roommate. Always made a mess and never cleaned up. Used other peoples cookware etc. 2nd year this girl was really nice and used to do my dishes for me. Feel kind of bad about it now.
>waster friend crashing on my couch for a few weeks while he has family trouble
>i cook dinner
>i have work so i'm out of the house a lot, i tell him the freezer and cupboards are all fair game, show him where the baking trays and foil are, if he wants any other food he has to go to the store for it
>day 1: he has subway for lunch
>day 2: he has subway for lunch
>day 3: he has a pot noodle for lunch
>day 4 of week: he attempts to cook chicken kievs under the grill and gives himself food poisoning
boy had no fucking life skills at all
he came to live at my house for a while and he didn't bring a razor, a toothbrush, a towel?
i dont have room mate stories because ive only lived with people i actually liked.
>>7067332
>she
Fuck her right in the pussy
>>7067370
That sounds amazing, but man oh man was it hard not to read this as porn.
My mom can't cook for shit, Dad always cook everyday and is one of the best I know.
>Mom wanted to cook to surprise my dad for anniversary
>Got pasta salad box, frozen rolls, and steaks from store
>Started on the pasta salad early at 5 a.m.
> why.jpeg
>She got done with making it after 15 mintues, cover and put in fridge.
>5:30 p.m.
>She placed frozen rolls on pan and put it in oven
> Wtf, you supposed to leave it out for at least 4 hours for it to rise.
>She started on steaks, just seasoned it with salt and pepper, cooked each side for 3 minutes
>Placed it on the plate with pasta salad and small ass rolls
>Pasta is still hard
>Apparently she didn't boil the pasta and just cover it with mayo and seasoning, thinking it'll get soft after being in the fridge since morning.
>Dad ended up getting kfc and beer and told my mom to never cook ever again.
> new French flatmate
> literally almost never see him in the four months he's in the house
> enters kitchen
> "what are you cooking, man?"
> "pasta with salmon!"
> boils water
> puts spaghetti in (no salt)
> gets smoked salmon from the fridge
> puts three slices on a plate
> drains spaghetti
> puts spaghetti on slices of smoked salmon
> wa la
I used to live with a friend who was really shit at cooking. I had to be really quick to cook or he'd suddenly serve up mushy noodles drenched in ketchup and soy sauce. He's started cooking more regularly lately though, and the results are okay if he's following a recipe.
>>7067328
That was a legendary thread
>>7067370
Sealect is the shit, man. Used to eat that shit on crackers.
>>7068841
No man, eww.
>Das ma cuzin
It's funny though because we're the only two lesbians in our family, and all my fucked up freinds keep joking about that.
>>7068334
No way man. I refuse to believe someone would do that.
>>7069013
>the only two
homosexuality is not normal
fucking degenerate
>>7069032
You're just mad I get more of that sweet pussaaayyy.
>>7069013
God you're judgmental
>>7069051
You're right.
>I'm already a filthy degenerate
>what's one more step further gonna do
>>7069013
All joking and retards from pol aside. make sure you aren't leading on your cousin or that she doesn't accidentally fall in love from all the fun cooking and cleaning and living together you'll be doing.
>>7069134
I don't see why this would be a problem at all
I would murder thousands of kittens to be a lesbian with a hot lesbian cousin roommate who is in love with me
>>7069068
Never called you filthy
Fucking SJeW's, always exaggerating.
>>7069138
because she made it clear she doesnt have any interest in her cousin.
>>7069173
That's what she says now. But there is no chemistry like family chemistry. Once she tastes the gash between her cousin's thighs, plebeian non-family flesh will be basically garbage to her.
>>7067505
>canned mushrooms
#triggered
>>7067525
you're my favorite.
>Decide I'm going to make a stew
>Big chunks of beef, seared and ready to go
>Roommate walks in
>Those are raw
>I know, I'm putting them in stew.
>Okay
>All the ingredients are in the pot, time for low heat and wait a few hours
>Go fuck off for a half hour
>Come back to check on stew
>its fucking bubbling over
>High heat
>Why is this on high heat?
>Roomate, from on the couch
>It wasn't cooking at all, you forgot to turn it up at all. It's not my fault you weren't watching your cooking. You should really be more responsible, anon.
>>7069316
if its burnt to shit make that shit head replace it.
>>7069319
More like it had been boiling for half an hour, so the meat was rubber and the vegetables were mush.
>>7069325
couldnt that be fixed by more simmering?
>>7068505
I feel like having more than one other roommate is just almost always problematic.
I have pretty much the same problem. They are shit about taking out the trash, doing the dishes, cleaning the microwave, and they wear their shoes all over the house so the floor is perpetually dirty.
>Live with qt girl roommate
>Rarely talk, we are just roommates
>She can't cook at all
>Buys all of her food from Iceland
>For non Brits Iceland is basically a large supermarket that only sells frozen food that just goes in the oven for 20 minutes
>It is all she eats, never seen her cook something that didn't involve just going in the oven
>Decide to show her the light
>Go to a nice local market
>Buy a bunch of green vegetables and lean meat
>Buy a sled
>Grab some of the 'Iceland' plastic bags from under the sink
>Write 'Greenland' on paper and stick it to the front of the bags
>Make a trail leading from the front door into the dining room while she is working
>Put the sled in the dining room
>Begin to prepare a nice chicken chow mein (Not greenland food but that isn't the joke I was making)
>wait for her car to pull into the car park
>put the food together take it to the Sleigh and sit down using the sleigh as a table
>Light a candle
>She walks in
>Smile at her and say ''Why oh why do you eat that way, baby you can pull my sleigh''
>she just acts confused and offended
>when I explain that she eats like shit she gets MAD at me for trying to improve her shitty diet
>refuses to eat with me
I hate people sometimes, they don't appreciate anything you do for them
>>7070091
You are literal autism.
>>7070091
Irish Stew Guy 2.0
>>7070091
>Write 'Greenland' on paper and stick it to the front of the bags
Why?
>She walks in
Everything was going great until here, then...
>Smile at her and say ''Why oh why do you eat that way, baby you can pull my sleigh''
Dude... I hope at least you didn't say that while chewing a single rose or anything.
>>7067909
>he'll just leave it sitting there for days and it can get really disgusting
I live at home and my brother does this shit all the time.
>He cooks family sized meals for himself
>Without telling anyone that he's cooking it
>Then he takes what he wants from the pan, and just leaves the rest there
>Sits in the pan on the stove for literal days, because at this point it's gone bad, and no one wants to clean his fucking mess
>Eventually he cleans it, but I think it's just because he needed the pan again
Like he has some massive deal with putting left overs away. He used to buy massive rib racks, with my moms money no less, and cook the entire rack, and only eat a few. I ended up eating some when I saw they were left out and put them away, but there were plenty of times I didn't see them and ribs just sat out on the counter over night
>>7067933
>One year I had one that was considering keeping all of her cookware (which was most of what we had in the apartment) in her room and we had to ask permission to use anything. She also printed out signs that pretty much covered the kitchen with notes like "clean your dishes" "wipe down the stove".
The reason anyone would want to keep cookware stocked in their room is because everyone else clearly isn't taking care of it, or washing it after uses. Also if she felt the need to print out signs telling you fucks to clean then she was probably one of the only ones cleaning. The person who is avoiding doing their dishes isn't gonna make passive aggressive notes telling others to do it
>>7070091
Jesus christ you would have had more luck saying "ey yo gurl want sum fuck?"
Seriously though this is how it should have went down
>She comes in
>smile and tell her you made dinner if she wants to eat with you
>as you eat bring up how you never see her cook, offer to show her how to cook if she's interested
>If she's not then just drop it
Autism ruins good intentions
>>7070185
Didn't see Irish stew guy, post it
>>7068886
It's not like I said I fed her my big, uncut Italian sausage or anything. I'm as gay as a Coach bag full of glitter and rainbows. Just hairier and more masculine.
>>7068997
I wish I could find it in this country. Her mother sent her a care package from Thailand ever other week or so and it often had Sealect tuna in green curry in it. She's back in Thailand right now and sends me a package with a few tins of Sealect in there from time to time.
.
.
.
.
It wasn't all one way, either. She loved a lot of my cooking, too.
WIth American food, she fell in love with collards when I made them for TG. And, of all things, fucking gravy. Once I taught her how to make it, she just went nuts over it. Also Kool Aid. I still send her tubs of fruit punch Kool Aid from time to time.
For Neapolitan, she enjoyed onion ragù and pasta with pumpkin most of all as well as porcini risotto.
She hated figs and peaches. Turns out, like how most children's medicine in the west is cherry or grape flavoured so lots of kids dislike cherry or grape flavoured sweets/candies, in Thailand, they're peach flavoured so peach candies make her gag and think of cough syrup.
For Sri Lankan, she liked frogmelon in egg curry, long bean in egg curry, saltcod curry, carrot curry, bread stir-fry (it's like the bastard child of stuffing and fried rice) and spicy beet-and-fish soup. I think of all things I cook, she liked Sri Lankan food most of all and Japanese least. She said Japanese food was bland.
Oh, and she loved my desserts, too. Cantaloupe sorbet and simple-ass lemon poundcake with rose-flavoured cream cheese frosting were her favourites. Her desserts skills were lacking. Other than coconut sticky rice with mango, she never made anything worth talking about.
>>7070336
All the past tense in your post makes me sad for some reason
>>7070339
Well, it was about nine years ago now. so past-tense makes sense.
She's now back in Thailand, married and fat. When she was here, though. she was proper fit.
Guess she just worked out to get herself a man then decided "fuck it" once she snagged one.
I don't know if it was just her or if it's a thing with all women from that general area of the globe who are actually friends with you, but she often patted/massaged my head, neck and shoulders and ran her fingers through my hair. It was odd. The only other legit friends I've had from that part of the world, though not Thailand, were a Burmese chick and innumerable numbers of Cambodians. The Burmese and a few of the Cambos all did that, too. Maybe it's a cultural thing.
>>7068887
That's kinda sad. She wanted to do a good job, she just didn't know how...
>>7070359
The dad is pretty shitty too, telling her to never cook again rather than taking the time to cook meals with her, showing her how.
>>7068544
If we were actually ruining her things or they were really nice things she didn't want ruined I would understand. But we weren't cleaning things quick enough, I guess. God forbid college students can't keep a kitchen spotless. i like to clean, but sometimes chaos wins for a day or two
>>7070314
I mean if you have an issue it's probably better to talk it out, not leave signs all over the kitchen. And like I said before, when there are 4 college students living together there are certain times of the year, like midterms or finals, when cleaning is not a top priority.
Live with older brother so I'm counting him as a shit roomate
All he cooks himself is pasta or ramen
I caught him microwaving the water before putting his ramen in
absolutely no point if he's just going to chuck in the noodles and microwave again
He cooks spaghetti in the microwave in a 4-cup measuring cup
Halfway through he'll drain the water and add in cold water
When it's cooked he'll drain it and add too much crock's spread and canned parmesan cheese, and an absurd amount of garlic powder
>>7067457
Maybe he made steak jerky.
>>7067465
>"brownies" (microwaved white bread with nutella and honey).
oh god
>still live at home with parents
>brother is like a wilderbeast
>leaves hair in the sink after shaving
>damp towels left everywhere
>and worst of all
>he doesn't fucking clean up his foodstuff after him
>leaves dirty plates by the side of the sink expecting someone to clean them, not even rinsing the fuckload of sauce he uses
>chopping board is caked with blobs of butter, grease, and crumbs
>have to clean it every SINGLE DAY
>also fries bacon every day, doesn't clean anything up, house smells like pig fat
>>7067960
>corn schnapps
wat
>>7067933
> Once almost got shot by roommate who drunkenly broke into my pistol safe
> Debated shooting him repeatedly for it
>>7071360
Korn schnapps means distilled from wheat or rye in German. Korn =/= corn is a common error..
>>7071282
Just tell him to clean it, you autist megafaggot.
>>7071415
This. It's the same in Danish, and I presume other languages in the area. "Korn" means "grain" such as wheat, barley, rye, etc. They use the term "Maize" (or some similar spelling) to refer to corn.
>>7070091
0/10
>>7067310
>spanish omelette
>egg+potatoes
Could be worse, to be honest.
>>7070350
i feel like asian cultures are (in general) more open to friendly/affectionate touching
it creates/propagates a warmth that i miss whenever i'm away from my korean relatives
>>7072248
>i feel like asian cultures are (in general) more open to friendly/affectionate touching
wat waaaaaaaaat
Maybe 1 on 1 via romantically. But with family or with strangers? Never. My friends and I included have never been been that close with family. We talked about how we've never been hugged once by our family members.
>>7072258
koreans for example are all about touching as kids.
they straight up molest people with all the rubbing up against each other.
>>7072285
i mean, yeah
my korean cousins and i do this thing that translates to 'thousand years of pain' which is basically where you put your hands together, stick out your index fingers, then jam em up your friend's/relative's (clothed) butthole
idk, the gook half of me is insane and loves touching people
>>7068334
How did you do the pork, exactly? Pretty curious. Also fucking horrifying story how could an adult really not know not to do that?
I swear my roommate if trying to season a teflon pan.
>>7070378
That would only be the case if she was interested and he said no. She clearly probably didn't care outside this one instance.
>>7070024
no.
>>7067310
Had a random roommate last year from Canada who was a vegan. She's the reason I willingly eat vegetables and actually enjoy them now. I didn't know kale chips and steamed veggies with bbq sauce was a thing until she showed me. So I cooked her homemade pasta and veggie dishes I learned throughout the year. Good times
I've had a few shitty roommates. My current one is a fucking nightmare in the kitchen though.
>always cooks some sort of elaborate pasta with sauce
>sauce splatters all over kitchen
>seems to sperg out with dried oregano and misses the pot leaving oregano fucking EVERYWHERE
>cannot clean for the life of him
>leftover sauce/crumbs on 'clean' dishes, pots, cutlery, etc.
>have to re-clean dishes every time I use them
>clean kitchen every day because he doesn't
The strangest part is that when I moved in, I thought he was going to be super clean because he's so anal about everything. One time he caught me cutting meat on a cutting board and flipped out because "NO ANON THE GREEN CUTTING BOARD IS FOR VEGETABLES, THE RED ONE IS FOR RED MEAT" (none of which he ever cleans so that was great), and the first time I offered to clean the apartment he spent lecturing me how to do basic cleaning. He hasn't cleaned the apartment once since I moved in. I caved and clean the sections I use every Thursday because I can't stand filth, but looking into his room physically repulses me. He has either a pair of shoes or a coat that leave black bits fucking everywhere (I will sweep the floor and the next day fucking black bits) and since he never cleans there's like... a layer of them on his floor.
>>7072600
Then I had another roommate who was genuinely clueless. She was some wealthy girl from South America who was raised with like 5 nannies and had to be taught basic life skills. When I moved in the other roommates said they stopped her from burning the house down 4 times and when I was there I stopped another 3 potential house fires. She had the amazing habit of forgetting she had things cooking and leaving for hours
>Puts beans in water to boil on high heat
>Leaves for full day
>Comes back to scorched pan and pissed off roommates
>Lolsorry!
>Cooking chicken in oven
>Somehow left salt shaker on pan
>Melted plastic salt mess and ruined pan
>Haha my bad!
She was also allergic to practically everything, didn't know how to use a steak knife when she moved in (her nannies had always cut her meat for her), and she made the entire house have a weevil infestation because she once bought a box of pasta (which she could not eat because she had celiacs) in case of guests, forgot about it and had it hidden behind some pots in her cupboard for 2 years, and refused to clean out her cupboard because she obviously didn't have anything the weevils would eat! (I found the box after getting annoyed enough that I just cleaned out her cupboard one time when she was in class)
>>7067589
That fucking image is so great, I was in that thread. Hilarious.
>>7068969
It was pretty damn unfunny. Like a 14 year old trying way to hard.
>>7068334
No one is dumb enough to add cold water to the sizzling oil. Come on now, dude.
My ex girlfriend in high school used to basically live with me since her parents were abusive as shit and even though she was a vegetarian she was a pretty decent cook. She mainly made pastas because she liked how creative you could get with the sauces, but she made some mean stir fry too. She ended up getting fat though, which is a shame since she was pretty hot. But with the foods she made, I guess it's understandable.
>>7072289
Kancho
>>7067310
my cousin cooks pasta, then dices up an apple, mixes is it and lets it cool in the fridge
he eats a salad bowl sized amount of this shit every day
please kill me
>>7067377
Are you me?
>housemate is a foreign student alkie, seriously that kid gets blackout shitfaced every night
>he likes to cook at 2 in the morning
>often reheating a frozen pizza
>usually ends up burnt to a blackened crust
>he eats it anyway
>watch him burn dumplings he was reheating
>he sat there and ate them covered in sriracha
>he mixed up a container of "special sauce" that was bbq, ketchup, mustard, mayo, and ranch
>put it uncovered in the cabinet, yes cabinet, where we keep clean dishes
>reached up for a dish, hand hit mush
>had to stand there and scream at him that shit could go off and stink up the house, and for gods sake put a lid on it, and food does not go in the dish cabinet
>he is a gaming addict
>usually on the game while his food is cooking
>always burns his shit
>he doesn't refrigerate leftovers, only knows how to make curry and rice
>keeps them in a giant pot, reheats entire pot each time, batch sits there days at a time
>eats an entire pot of white rice every single day
>eats eggs, leaves dishes of shells covered in softboil yellow runny gook out for days at a time until I yell at him
>doesn't wash dishes for days at a time
>leaves plates of chicken bones laying around
>I put them in front of his door and he gets assmad
>he gets analblasted when I call him a subhuman dog, so I do so often.
>last housemate was some spic pug-looking sack of shit
>could not cook for shit
>microwaved a cheap burrito for dinner
>entire house would stink of greasy salt, you could taste it in the air
>only knew how to make one thing--rice crispy treats
>acted like they were god's gift to mankind
>she bragged about being a good girlfriend for making them
>this cow managed to latch onto a man, god save him
>they probably eat salty burritos together every night standing around the microwave
>>7072289
Poop needle doesn't translate to thousand years of pain you weeb.
>>7067505
This guy also
>had the most annoying, fat mexican friend that used him for money
>he admitted to spending over 15k on her and never even kissed her. This was after she told him to fuck off
>he bought her a tiny dog but it lived in his room
>he had this weird way of holding/cradling it where he was basically holding ut by the dick and anus
>he liked to get drunk and clean his expensive guns (that had likely never been fired) in the living room
>we anonymously slerted management because guns are not allowed in the student apartments, violated lease. He got fined and had to make a 16 hour drive home to drop off his guns
>he named his Volkswagen Jetta "Gladys"
>he always wore spanx
>>7067310
Every goddamn morning he takes a multi, makes a single cup of coffee, whips three eggs into an omelot with nothing but Italian seasoning, and has a cigarette with breakfast after smothering his eggs in tobasco. Every morning for months since I moved in and according to his roommate for months before that. He never cleans the pan or plate or fork until the next morning right before he makes a new breakfast.
His usual dinner is Taco Bell or WacArnolds.
>>7067960
>that Korn story
Gotta try that out
>>7068887
>>She started on steaks, just seasoned it with salt and pepper, cooked each side for 3 minutes
Nothing wrong with that, depending on temp and thickness, if she got a good sear. Steak doesn't need anything but that, if even.
>>7070661
>canned parmesan
what the fuck
one of my roommates is asian, here are some of his trademark dishes:
peanut butter and what sandwich
>whole grain bread
>peanut butter
>jelly
>smoked ham
>toasted in my toaster oven until almost burnt
>typically eaten for breakfast
bottom ramen
>put a block of ramen in a saucepan
>discard the seasoning it comes with
>fill saucepan with just enough water so the ramen will stick to the sides and make a huge mess
>now turn strove on medium heat
>let it stew until you get bored
>meanwhile, mix peanut butter and soy sauce in a bowl
>dump that in to the sticky ramen mess whenever you feel like it
anti-soup
>stick a can of Campbell's soup in the fridge
>wa-la! its ready to eat
>>7073951
Pretty funny. Got any more?
>>7072427
Bullshit I'm a professor at CIA
My roommate keeps buying meats and leaving them uncovered on the counter. I've told him he'll get sick as a dog if he isn't careful but he doesn't give a shit.
>canned olives
That actually exists?
>>7074380
There's canned everything, anon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVza_AnhQ3E
>>7067310
>My roommate literally eats spanish omlette every night.
Couple years back I had a Russian roommate who couldn't cook at all. He would just heat up sunflower oil in a pan, boil water in another. Then throw a chicken burger in the sunflower oil to burn it mostly and stink up the entire house. In the water he would ditch some rice. In 3 minutes or so he would drain the rice and just eat it like that with a chickenburger. Now the thing is this was for breakfast and for diner.
Now years later another Russian guy is living here and he does the exact same thing for breakfast and diner. Which makes me believe male Russians who study abroad are shit cooks.
I had a Romanian roommate who melted down our oven once trying to make hasj brownies but they were burned.
An alcoholic Irish man who was drunk cooking an egg which burned and then the police yelled at him to get his shit together and to not try and kill everyone by cooking while falling over all the time.
>>7067328
My little bro thought he was the next iron chef or some shit and tried making steaks. He had it in a pan and waited for it to start smoking. We told him to put some oil in it cause that shit's poisonous. He later put salt and pepper which didn't seem to bad. But then he pulls out his phone and sets timer to flip it. Then he gets some butter and puts it in. Doesn't seem to bad. Then he gets a piece of garlic and just starts rubbing the steak with it. Just gets it and starts to rub the steak. He told me he was "garlicfying" the steak. Steak turned out decent, he's still a faggot for thinking that he's hot shit for making a steak.
>>7074544
so much samefag
