Please teach an ex-homeless absolute beginner with no cooking experience and no friends or family how to cook.
I will do my best.
put food in a pan and wait until it's brown
Decide on a dish you like to eat. Like chicken and potatoes, or beef stifry or something.
Google maybe 5-6 recipes for that dish. Decide on the recipe variation that sounds tastiest to you (maybe the other stirfry recipes have a shitty mix of veggies you don't like, or a spice blend that sounds unappealing)
Cook when you are not hungry! Nothing worse than trying to cook when you are low blood sugar, and just want something to eat. Cook ahead of time while you are learning.
Eat your dish, and decide what you liked, or didn't like. Maybe you wanted more beef in your stirfry, or, it was too salty or something. Tweak the recipe, and try it again later.
>>7053072
turn on stove
put lipid in pan
put egg in pan
flip it when it starts turning white
wait a little longer
good job, you made an egg
you can also break the yellow part of the egg and add milk to make a different version of egg
>>7053072
Watch YouTube videos, Jaques Pepin is a great instructor for beginners. Glad you're not homeless anymore friend. It's tough to get out of that lifestyle.
Whatever you were doing that caused your homelessness, I am happy you stopped. Now... that being said... learn something tonight faggot.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCMeCBkljXWexePOEWz2d-Cw/videos
>>7053203
>adding milk to eggs
>flipping eggs
the fuck is wrong with you
>>7053203
Oil in a pan
Med-high heat
Wait a minute
Add egg
Put pepper on said egg
Wait 2 mins
Eat a fried egg
Once you master that get creative
>>7053072
Start with eggs. They're simple yet deceiving for beginners. You can practice quite a few cooking techniques, general kitchen skills, and timing with just eggs.
Cooking is a bit too complicated to teach on an imageboard, but I can give you a roadmap of sorts.
Step one, tomorrow morning, cook yourself breakfast.
Breakfast is by far the best place to start. The meals are easy, they're quick, they're VERY forgiving of mistakes, they're extremely inexpensive, and they're fucking delicious.
Use google and youtube for recipes and techniques. Start out with things like oatmeal, pancakes and scrambled eggs and toast, which are all extremely hard to fuck up. Then start aiming a little higher at things like fried eggs, french toast, bacon, sausage and home fries. As you get more comfortable, you'll eventually want to tackle one of the most universal dishes in the entire fucking world, the omelet. Everyone from eskimos to the koreans makes an omelet, because they're fucking delicious. They're not as easy as the other breakfast dishes though, you can fuck them up. So you work up to them.
Breakfast. It'll get you in the kitchen, practicing a little knife work, heat management, timing, all that good stuff.
Step two, do some research. The internet has more cooking shit on it than the library of congress has books. Really, it's like the second most popular thing after porn. Youtube alone has more fucking cooking shows than I can think of. Start watching some of them. Go to places like seriouseats.com and read an article now and then. Any time you have a question, even as silly and simple as "how do I knife" google that shit, find a vid tutorial on youtube. There'll be 50 of the fuckers all saying the same thing. If you really cant find an answer, or find conflicting answers you can't figure out (rather common in the cooking world) you can come ask us. We usually answer stupid newbie questions.
Step three, think about your favorite foods to eat. Go online, watch some recipe videos, read a few blogger recipes, go to the grocery store, buy ur shit, then cook it. Make it repeatedly, once or twice a month at least. You'll get good.
I suggest you start by learning about the most important physical & chemical processes - Maillard reaction, conversion of collagen into gelatin, gelatinization of starches, caramelization of sugars, emulsifications, pickling/brining
once you understand what the basic processes are all of the recipes will start to make a lot of sense
>>7053262
Not OP but I'm interested in this thread. I think I take cooking directions too literally and I get confused by vagueness. Like sometimes it'll say "stir occasionally"...the fuck does that mean? How often is "occasionally"?
>>7053233
every time i try to make an egg on medium heat, it never seems to get firm enough. i can never tell when its done vs overdone.
>>7053316
By med-high i mean between 7-8 on the dial for your burner. when the edges of your egg start to flap, its done
>>7053307
The vagueness is intentional, because equipment is VERY far from standardized. What "high" means on one stove, and "high" means on another, can be ridiculous. One could easily be 10x hotter than the other.
To me, occasional stirring is somewhere between once every two hours (cooking dried beans, I'm only stirring to set them in motion so I can observe them) to once every half hour. (spaghetti sauce, which can burn at the bottom of the pan)
>>7053316
This is just a practice thing. Cook it longer if you like them more done. There's no real tricks you can use, poking it doesn't really tell you much, and you can't really put a thermometer in it or anything.
>>7053307
Also, if you enjoy precision and specificity, you might be more inclined towards baking than cooking. As the saying goes, cooking is an art, baking is a science. Most people I've met strongly prefer one to the other.
>>7053307
A lot of recipes are written for people who already basically know how to cook a dish, but need prompting.
Watching videos can help a bit.
Look up Food Wishes on youtube, he's like a father to me.
>>7053213
>whatever you were doing that caused your homelessness
>I'm glad you stopped
You're the worst kind of person. Homeless people aren't all there because of their actions or decisions. Shit happens that you can't control and if you don't have the financial resources or support network to fix those situations you end up homeless. Fuckin white people, I swear.
>>7053364
That's interesting, I do recall enjoying baking a lot more because it was way more precise.
>>7053374
I've honestly never understood why this gets suggested so often on /ck/.
It's really nothing special.
>>7053473
>good production values
>good recipes
>good sense of humor
>good, short run length
>full length recipes off-site on a blog
>dude is fucking prolific, I wonder if there's any recipe he HASN'T made yet
>no misinformation
It's true there are better cooks out there, but Chef John has the best youtube cooking channel.
>>7053072
What do you feel like eating?
>>7053375
Stay mad, Jamal.
>>7053375
"I swear I only stole the ca' to feed my babies!" I love how you blacks sound like slaves when the police arrest your kind
>>7053585
Maybe you should go back to reddit instead
Seeing as how you know so much about tje websites
>>7053316
You have to let it cook longer. Plus side is that you don't have to worry about burning as much
>>7053076
this desu senpai
>>7053375
Don't listen to them, dude.
Social worker here. I've seen a lot and heard so many histories. Not everyone on /ck/ believes poor people are poor due to being stupid or choosing to be poor.
Honestly, Bridges out of Poverty was an eye-opening book into poverty. It addresses a huge thing that's so entrenched in our society, like values and attitudes. Middle class values are difficult to learn with no one to point them out and teach you.
>>7054038
>/ck/ - Arguments Between Social Justice Warriors and Ayn Rand Wannabes
>>7053076
Instructions unclear; browned food was rotten instead
learn to cook soups first. Cheapest and healthiest of all.
>>7053072
>ex homeless
Mind sharing your story, op?
