So I got a mixer for Xmas and I tried making pretzels...
No you didn't.
Do they taste like pretzels?
Bro, you need to stretch your pretzels out more or they end up looking like yours. They all look like turds
Are pretzels boiled or baked?
>>6092382
Either you are dumb or you are a jew
tits or gtfo
>>6092382
both
>>6092358
you did your neighborhood a good service for picking up the dogshit that people are too lazy to pick up but god damn no one told you to bake it
>>6092358
why are there blood stains under your feces?
>>6092358
christmas is fucking ruined
>>6092358
... but you made turds instead
Hey OP, lets feel bad together
I thought you could thicken soup with psyllium, now I feel like Egg+Gluten guy.
http://youtu.be/sWMkH0_7aNs
>>6092363
Check the photo data or reverse image search or whatever the fuck. I literally just took this picture.
>>6092378
And yeah I think this was my mistake. The results were surely hilarious though. They tasted decently at least.
>>6092358
You should shove those right back up your anus where they came from.
Nice attempt my friend.
>>6092435
Isn't that a laxative?
I dare you to eat a large bowl.
Seriously, why though?
I mean, was there a specific thought process, or were you lacking all other thickening agents and had a large amount of psyllium on hand for some reason? Is this a desperate no-gluten experimentation? That would make me sad.
>they look like baked turds
This is some funny shit
I would eat those baked turds. Come at me.
>>6092358
>the first attempts probably looked like this
>pretzels are german
it's all clear now
I literally thought that was shit. Well done OP.
>>6092551
I normally use Semolina for that soup.. used it up and forgot to buy more before the holidays started. I thought it would work? That's only half a cup by the way.
I do use it in my smoothies as a cheap way to bump my fibre and thicken that too, and to skimp on bananas.
>>6092551
Oh yeah, it was so gross I had to throw it in the toilet :( I clogged my sink just tipping my bowlful in. It was like eating snot, it didn't even taste like tomatoes.
I didn't know it was gluten free though. Thank god I'm not celiac.
I think your dog ate the pretzels and shit on the tray anon.
>>6092358
How do you fuck up pretzels this badly? Here was my first pretzel attempt, and I don't even have a fucking mixer. I made cinnamon-sugar pretzels and garlic-butter salted pretzels. Pic related is of the cinnamon ones.
>>6092358
As a swabian, this hurts my soul.
Don't call this trainwreck pretzel please.
How do you fuck up that badly?
It looks intentional, they are literally all in the shape that shit piles up into when it comes fresh out of an asshole.
You even fucked up and got stains all over the parchment paper, I refuse to believe this wasn't intentional.
![Fotolia_2059426_XS1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/9qAB3Ly.jpg "Fotolia_2059426_XS1[1].jpg")
>>6092756
as a bavarian, this.
>>6092752
No need to show off pretzel dick
>>6092358
it's like visiting the Umbrella Corporation labs and seeing the hideous failures of their experiments suspended in fluid
except with pretzels
>>6092358
So, you put dog shit on a tray? And you call them pretzles?
1/10 I replied.
>>6092358
/tg/ here, I'd be even worse.
>>6092762
OP here. I swear to fuck it wasn't intentional. I think they were too thick and I didn't spread them out enough. They were pretzel shape before I baked them.
sup OP, this was my first attempt at pretzels
we can't all be bakers
A master baker from the Bavarian baker's guild show you how it's done:
1:25 onwards https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LiIiT_7tjI8
>>6093795
That still looks tasty though.
>>6092756
Shut up fag pretzels don't give a shit about you
>>6093795
I'd eat it with extreme pleasure.
>>6094141
In Soviet Union, pretzels shit on you!
>>6092752
very nice anon
>>6092358
KEK
>>6092752
>Pic related is of the cinnamon ones.
But aren't they just oddly shaped cinnamon doughnuts? I've always thought of pretzels as bite-sized salty snacks.
>>6092358
1. It looks like shit.
2. Race-mixing is fucking disgusting.
I just want to know why no one in this thread can take a fucking picture of their food plated nicely. Why do we have to look at your shitty pretzels (or wannabe pretzels) laying on a filthy baking sheet? It makes them look 9999999 times worse. And I'm not just referring to OP.
>>6092382
both. you have to boil them in mix of water and lye first. if you don't then the key feature, crust, doesn't form.
>>6094720
lol this pleb
get out the way faggots
>>6094954
old dog turds, diarrhea, piss, and a pretzel?
>>6092752
>cinnamon pretzels
>ever
>>6094964
>still being this young and stupid
adorable
>>6094964
I laughed
>>6094954
weisswurst
sweet mustard?
pretzel
beer
sprig of some sort of garnish
>>6095033
They tasted pretty good. Here's the garlic and butter ones
>>6095254
You actually just changed my life. I love making home made pretzels but they always stick to the pan and when I butter them I use a brush and melted butter and it drains onto the pan. When I remove them and put fresh ones on to bake they stick to it and everything. I never once thought of using your setup like in that photo which would be so much better off. Thank you! Trying it today.
