Cooking fuck ups thread? I'll start.
>be me
>have 6 overripe bananas
>decide to make banana bread
>recipie calls for 3 bananas, so double everything, might as well make more and save some for the week
>last time i made banana bread i forgot to grease the pan and it stuck BAD.
>batter is a little thick, go to fridge to get some milk and butter to grease the pan with
>grease loaf pan and add milk to batter to thin it out
>this is a lot of batter
>loaf pan isn't that big, and i don't want to make two batches
>decide to try making it in a 12x16 pan and cut it into bars
>dump batter in
>mfw gently pushing batter into pan and realizing i didn't grease it.
Only time will tell how much i fug'd up. It's baking now.
>read online about someone who enjoys a little salt on their oatmeal
>decide to make a savory oatmeal
>made some ungodly concoction
>can’t remember exactly what I put in but I know it involved soy sauce
>fuckingrepulsive.webm
>gf will bring it up from time to time just to remind me of my regrets
8 years old. I cook rice for my mother, saute vegetables and meat. Snuck a few drinks from Father's cabinet, he gone visiting family, mother wasn't feeling well. I forget rice when cooking vegetables and meat. Burned rice smell in house. Mother come out very angry and beat me for wastes. Now I am man and drink when cooking. Is spared now when I drink when cook. Parents visit and I drink after cook.
>get really drunk
>really drunk
>i want beignets
>look up recipie online
>people just deep frying biscuit dough, ok
>have ancient frozen biscuit dough in back of freezer and a pot of oil i fried fish in the night before
>turn stove on to heat oil
>use microwave to thaw dough
>half ends up melted, half still frozen
>goodenough.png
>drop dough in oil
>oil isn't anywhere near hot enough, not much happens
>"beingets" come out soaked in grease throughout and the surface is filled with tons of little blackened pieces of fish fry
It tasted almost exactly the way i remember airports smelling in the 90s, a weird combo of cigarette smoke and jet exhaust. I ended up naming it "airport sand" due to it's taste and texture.
>>7750457
Is your last name nguyen by any chance?
>>7750469
It is very common names. I know few people. You never forget mother. She beat sense in many children, even not hers.
>>7750429
>be me
Who the fuck else would you be?
>>7750480
Tyler Durden
>Be me back in college
>Was living in an upperclassman apartment by myself over winter break (I was doing an internship at the time, so I could stay in the building)
>Had myself a slow cooker, but very little food or money
>Found some frozen meat that my Dad gave me when I saw him during Christmas
>Decided fuck it. Making tacos
>Throw the frozen meat in the crock with taco seasoning and canned tomatoes
>Checked on it several hours later and found a disgusting greasy mess
>MFW it turned out the frozen meat was bacon
>It came out in nasty little meat strings
>Couldn't even eat it
>Threw it away and felt like shit
>oh my sweet baby jesus you can make a kind of cheesecake in a rice cooker
>nice and simple
>all these qt's on the youtubes have slightly different rice cookers
>mine only has a glass lid
>no timer
>was cheap as fuck
>eh what's the big deal it's a rice cooker
>mix everything up, throw it in, hit cook
>after like 10 minutes goes to warm
>definitely not cooked
>eh I'll just lock it on cook with this weight thingy until it's done
>20 minutes later
>still not done, smells a bit burnt
>I'll just leave it a bit more, can't be _that_ burnt
>another 10-15 minutes
>well it's done
>rice cooker bowl has like 1 cm of burnt cheesecake stuck to it
>can barely get the burnt cheesecake out
>rice cooker unusable anymore
>threw half the cheesecake out
kinda felt like shit, I hate throwing food away
now I have a proper rice cooker (multicooker even) but too afraid to try it again ;__;
>pic related
>my new one
>cute as fuck
Post pics
>>7750496
>proper rice cooker
>not crafted in nippon
are you even trying?
>>7750504
b-but anon those are fucking expensive over here
I couldn't go all the way, not gonna put 200 euros in something I might fuck up again
>>7750429
>college days
>barely any food left and out of budget
>boil some tagliatelle in red forest fruit tea
>make a strawberry jam cream sauce
>turned out as expected but not beyond disgusting, too hungry too leave it anyway
>wonder what else i could throw in there
>add some salt
>fucked up, instantly inedible
>proceed to eat so i wont pass out anyway
>>7750504
pic related is the risotto that just finished cooking
it's bretty good
I kinda like this thing, I also fried some stuff for the risotto in it, so now I don't have to wash another pan yay
>i guess this was my entertainment for the weekend
>back to feeling bad for me
>>7750627
Sorry but that looks like really bad "risotto".
>thought that a bulb of garlic was what people meant when they said a clove of garlic
That spaghetti sauce tasted like shit.
>>7750627
>Not having a sushi rice or okayu setting. Not even brown rice setting.
>>7750883
Indeed it's not much of a looker
Is it better if I call it pilaf or something?
I kinda like it anyway
>be me
>back when I was like 15
>oh the burger place forgot my grilled onions so i'll just grill em myself
>cut em like that fucking webm you see every time
>put em on the stove
>nothing else
>just fucking bare onions against a hot pan
>I guess Ill just leave em
>come back five minutes later
>half of them are burnt, literally black edges
>put that shit on my burger anyways because I think I'm an expert chef
It tasted like shit ok, thats it, it tasted like fucking shit
>>7751051
Yeah that would be more of a pilaf. A risotto has ample amounts of butter and cheese in it.
Still looks gud tho.
>>7750496
Or you could make cheesecake in an oven like someone who isn't a degenerate
>>7751313
>who isn't a degenerate
"Where do you think we are?"
