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Anonymous
tldr: cat died, need advice
2016-03-28 23:58:38 Post No. 2090521
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tldr: cat died, need advice
Anonymous
2016-03-28 23:58:38
Post No. 2090521
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Okay I need help. The short story is my cat was getting lethargic and thin so I took her to the vet on Saturday; unknown liver problems and daily IVs were the result. A few days later after no improvement I brought her in again, got an ultrasound and the tldr is I had to put her down as there were no options other than to let her die in misery.
This cat was everything to me, I had her since I was 8 and have never cared so much about another living being nor has one given me so much unconditional love, I'm just lost. I feel physically sick when I think about the fact she actually died and that I'll never see or hold her again (had to walk out before putting her down, hate me all you want but I couldn't do it) while occasionally breaking down and crying when thinking about her at all, normally when I felt horrible she'd be around to comfort me but I don't even have this.
Even through my own selfish desires to keep her alive, there was no reason to; the cat I knew was already gone and the one that laid before me was a lifeless husk lying in pain with her internal organs going full retard. Making the decision to euthanize her wasn't the hard part, forcing myself to walk out of the room and never see her again was, and at that that was hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I had the option to take her home for a day but what good would that have done for anyone? I'd just be more depressed, have to make another goodbye and she'd suffer longer. Between the crying and nausea I'm not sure if my numbness is from already mentally letting her go (let's face it, even on Saturday I was already starting to lose it and knew this wasn't going to end well) and accepting it or if I'm still in shock and denial. I don't feel guilty, there's nothing I could have done, I had no way to prevent this but I just feel terrible.
I don't even know what the point of this blog was but if anybody can help me feel less like shit I'd appreciate it.
