How retarded is your dog?
>>2017908
dead
I once had a dog that whenever I let him off the chain would run headfirst into the back door in his rush to get in.
>just get home
>super retarded happy dog
>wagging tail so hard it's a dangerous weapon
>the silly bitch dented the trash can with her tail
>pic related, the trash can.
>>2017908
She's a shih tzu, and about as dumb as a rock.
When I am saying my shih tzu's name to get her attention, she runs over and sits down behind me and wags her tail.
>>2017908
Was doing some stuff outside and saw my dog eating something. Went to observe and it was a fucking small rock... Friend also told me a story of how his dog tries to lick heaters...
Very.
Took roob to get her nails clipped, she saw birds in the shop and stood there for 20 minutes pulling the most retarded face with her lip tucked into her cheek.
Picture very related.
extremely. stares at shadows on the wall and barks and gets angry when two people show affection.
I've got two chinese crested dogs and one of them is mentally challenged a little, I think it was from his extremely rough upbringing, severe physical abuse until the owners were charged with cruelty.
He's always happy to see me though and he loves life now. He walks into things every now and then and gets confused easily but he's my little babby so I look after him.
>>2018119
Is their tail okay? It doesn't bleed, right?
>>2017908
retarded happy, but smart at times too. understands a few words/phrases. knows when to be retarded in the park/bush, knows to be sensible around roads. knows what she's allowed to have and what she isn't.
but she can be quite wilful at times and all of this goes out the window when she really wants to do something. like escape and go for a walk in the park.
>box of pizza on the coffee table
>cusp to sleep on the couch
>hear that pizza box noise slightly
>open eyes
>she's kinda tiptoeing away
>bit of a daze
>realise pizza box isn't fully closed (i had closed the box completely)
>look inside
>piece missing
>dat sneaky bitch
i knew i should've punished at her for taking something she knew she wasn't supposed to, but i had to respect the move. and she's a qt
kelpie cross with something. likely rotty. big barrel chest, black and tan rottweiler markings
>dog constantly chewing up their own bed
>put dave's insanity on the bed so they think chewing on the bed is bad
>dog goes for it, flips out
>keepa chewing on the bed to get rid of the heat
>hits more hot sauce
>flips out more, does it again
i feel kinda bad, but it ultimately worked
>>2018956
>hear dog snuffling and sneezing in the other room
>go see
>he's chewing on something unpleasant
>spits out a bee
>what the fuck dog
>he eats it again
>chews
>spits
>eats it again
>chews
>spits
>I've recovered enough to take that shit away
>he looks at me like I've screwed him over
>dog has this furry tail thing attached to a tennis ball
>keeps ripping the hair out of the tail and eating it
>pull hair out of her mouth when I can
>can't get it all
>dog has been coughing and retching for the past 20 minutes
I told you not to eat it but you didn't listen, this has happened enough times that you should get it by now.
>Dog won't heel when on a lead
>just doesn't understand the concept
>vet suggests choker, similar to pic
>still won't heel but is now constantly choking self
>vet suggests we go back to a normal collar, as dog is going to kill itself
It's a special kind of stupid
>>2017908
Maximum retard, at about 9pm every night she stares at the ceiling and barks for like 10 straight minutes no matter what you do. Can't even put her outside cause she'll just keep at it and get the neighbours pissed off.
Shes old, weird and derpy.
I love her.
>>2017908
Friend of mine had a truely retarded dog
The dog always walked kind of side ways with his head looking in that off directing he walked.
He'd constantly walk into walls and would never answer commands until repeating it 4 or so times
He never barked or growled. Never really played. He kinda just existed.
I assume he liked being pet cuz he would sit around and let you pet him for as long as you would.
There was something wrong with the dog but he had his charm and his owner took good care of him.
>Terrified of the garbage truck
>Ate peanut shells
>Hates rain, so bangs on the back door to come in, then runs to the front windows like it won't be raining out there
>Ate his own vomit
>Ran full speed into the wall when we had a small earthquake
>Walks right up behind people and stands there, they inevitably turn around and trip over him, he is traumatized
>Terrified of small children
>Freaks out if you say anything to him in Spanish instead of English
>Growls when he sees people kiss
>If he sees a squirrel in the front yard, immediately runs to the back door
>>2019372
Sounds like a very nice dog, i mean it.
>>2019051
>dog wont do thing
>dog dumb, me smart man!
>>2018953
Tail is fine, dog is fine.
>hunts every dust particle that catches his derpy eyes
>won't run after squirrels or cats
>wants so badly to join the herd of deer that lives in the woods
>still have no clue what other thing he is aside from german shepherd
>pic related
>>2019372
I like your dog.
>Ate peanut shells
Our shepherd mix eats sunflower seed shells if someone is spitting them out. He likes the saltiness. :p
>they inevitably turn around and trip over him, he is traumatized
Lold so hard
>Freaks out if you say anything to him in Spanish instead of English
My weimaraner freaks out if you say anything in English rather than Spanish. It's fucking bizarre.
>>2019077
Sounds like a true retard.
>>2018800
Lol she's ready to follow you to the ends of the earth maybe?
>>2018929
Hunting instinct. Want to put in mouth
>>2019051
Use non-pull harness. Buy at wallmart or petsmart. Forreals. Why has your vet not suggested such a simple thing?
>>2019951
Your dog looks to be part bull mastiff. At least the dogs that come up when I search mastiff cross GSD seem very close.
He was scared of his own farts
We have my large dog the jar only to have it stolen by this one who then proceeded to get his head stuck.
>>2019951
Wanted to add that he burps when he's nervous that something he did might be bad.
>>2019956
I thought the same when we got him from the shelter and that's what I've seen around, and yet he's medium sized and 70lbs :/ this is what puzzles us about him and makes me think he's a pibble mix rather than a bull mastiff. He's also not smart at all. Someday I'll get one of those DNA testing kits, but then again those are kinda hit and miss.
>>2019965
Lol
>>2017908
>be me at home with gf
>we fuck
>day after my gf pantyhose was mysteriously disappeared
>walk my dog in the morning and everything is fine
>I walk again my dog in the late afternoon and he decides to take a shit
>mfw my gf pantyhose comes out of his ass
>it gets stuck halfway and dangles from his ass
>people around me burst in laugh
>I have to use a dog's plastic bag like a glove to remove it
>he makes a little pain bark like "what the fuck are you doing?"
that fucker sneaked in my bedroom at night and chewed her pantyhose.
>>2017908
mine runs away if you put your hand under the covers, she thinks it's a ghost or some shit
yet she's not scared of the hoover/fireworks
she actually follows you when hoovering and sometimes bites it
>Dog is scared of mustard
>Is also scared of the mustard bottle
>gf and I realize this and threaten her with it from time to time if she misbehaves
>Dog digs hole to china in back yard by the fence
>two fuckheug pitbulls on the otherside are doing the same thing
>beat her ass for digging and put up fence
>dog gets stuck behind fence
She is the sweetest little dog but she's a nervous urinator but its mostly because ill whack her nose when she does something bad and SHE KNOWS when she's done something bad.
>>2019407
Impossible not to read this like a caveman
>dog has a toy on my bed
>will only chew at the very edge of the bed
>drops it on the floor
>just looks at it longingly
>refuses to go down and get it, just sits there looking depressed
>throw the toy in the middle of the bed
>takes it and moves to the edge
>drops it again
i dont know if hes retarded or just a lazy shit
>>2022174
You're the retarded one. He wants you to keep picking it up and tossing it onto the middle of the bed, lmfao.
This fucker just always looks sad when you praise him and wont eat from my hand.
>>2022944
Oh jeez that face
my dog is a cannibal
(pic related)
This isn't about my dog, but my friends have three super dumb dogs that are hilarious to watch:
>get two pit mix puppies, super small and cute
>use a normal baby gate to keep them in the kitchen when they're doing stuff and can't watch them
>one day baby gate accidentally falls on top of them
>they're forever traumatized and afraid of it
It's hilarious, now they're these big ass dogs who could easily knock it over or jump over it, but they refuse to go near it. It's to the point where my friends can just lay it down in front of a doorway, completely flat, and they still won't walk over it. Their new puppy never hand anything like this happen to him, so he'll just walk over it and give no fucks, but the other two won't do it even though they can see him. I love it.
And one of their dogs is especially dumb:
>gets fucking excited to drink whenever she gets fresh water
>drink so much she throws up
>licks up the water throw up
And the puppy will also do it, but he'll just leak a trail of pee behind him instead of throwing up. He just drinks so much he can't hold it.
Pic is dumb dog on the puppy's bed
>>2023141
dat dildo
>>2017908
Younger dog is super retarded. Christmas eve so had family over and he is barking because he wants attention. My dad kept feeding him shit to get him to stop barking (dad is retarded too in this regard) and dog ended up puking 6 times because he ate too much.
>>2019951
>20lbs pup
>trys chasing and nipping 2000lbs cattle
Pretty retarded, but i'm sure its just instinct.
>pupper caught me sweeping
>has no idea what a broom is
>tries to attack it while I sweep
>the bristles touch her face
>PUPPER FREAK OUT MODE
>she bounces onto the bed
>runs across the room
>out the door and back again
>super fast dog running at incredibly hihg speed.jpg
>jumps on every furniture possible then comes back to the broom
>still sweeping
>rinse and repeat
every tiem.
>>2023125
aww what a cute pig :)
I had a beagle. That should answer your question
>>2021018
Shit owner detected
>>2022174
My pupper does this, I think she's playin fetch with me
>>2018954
>i had to respect the move.
As do I, anon
>>2017908
Your dog is kind of creepy OP
>>2023635
agreed, i hate these face markings on collies, blue merle aswell is creepsville. all about black and white or a nice traditional tricolour
>>2022944
Want that guy to eat from your hand?
Meaty Sticks
sittin' pretty natural dog bakery is mfr.
Literally doggie crack.
My family had two dogs, a cocker spaniel and a german shepard. They were usually pretty smart but sometimes
>Cocker spaniel comes in from chilling in the backyard
>Mom hears a faint buzz sound
>Looks around but doesn't find anything
>Just happens to walk near the dog in her search for the sound
>It's coming from him
>He ate a bee and it was still alive just flying around inside his mouth
He's lucky he didn't get stung in the throat or something
>German shepard has a mole on his front paw
>He won't stop biting it
We had to take him to the vet and get it removed before he could do anything serious to it.
I miss those little bastards
>>2017908
>a large male possum has been living in the woods around my house for a few months now
>one of my dogs has gotten extremely good at catching it
>will bolt out the door, down my driveway, into the woods
>comes back a few minutes later with that single fucking possum every single day
>her sister is terrified of the possum so she'll chase her sister around the yard with it in her mouth
>she knows I won't let her in the house with it so she always puts him down in the yard beside my porch steps
>likes to go out and check on him every so often
>goes into fits if she goes outside and he's gotten up and slipped away
>possum doesn't even try to fight when he sees her coming he just rolls over onto his side and plays dead
he eats rocks and jumps in the middle whenever 2 people kiss
bump
>dog is playing with toy
>ended up tossing it aside
>expects toy to come back on its own
>starts barking at it when it doesn't happen
every time
Stupidly cute. He rotates on his blanket for 10 minutes before he finds a comfortable position and finally lies down. He's like Monk but retarded.
