Duck showed up in back yard, won't leave.
What do I do with it?
>>1997830
Put your cat inside (permanently) and leave the duck alone.
it's a muscovy duck.
why would you want to get rid of it?
>>1997846
Not that I want to get rid of it...
It really likes that small mound it's standing on, does it want to nest? We don't need any more of them. Or is it just sick? This has never happened before.
Run directly at the duck, flapping your arms and shouting at it.
I guarantee it'll fuck right off.
>>1997849
they lay eggs in spring, seeing the color of the grass it ain't spring there, that's the winter color.
it'll probably fuck off.
>>1997851
>I guarantee it'll fuck right off.
you've never seen muscovy ducks before.
they don't fuck off.
>>1997852
It's in Houston, it's actually winter.
So, just let it alone?
>>1997857
I wish you would you stupid twat
>>1997830
You garden boxes a shit.
>>1997858
probably, it's not going to nest.
muscovy ducks are just cunts.
don't chase it away, that's mental stimulation which they only crave.
>>1997866
>when you realize bugguy is actually a Muscovy duck
>>1997830
Garden hose the lil bitch.
>>1997871
Do Muscovy ducks pass the mirror test?
>>1997858
Hey fellow Houstonite.
Anyway, it will probably fuck off eventually, especially if you're not close to water. Muscovy ducks are everywhere here.
>>1997874
it'll only give it fresh water available.
they don't really seem to care.
>>1997880
Define "water"?
There's a retention pond ~200 yards from there.
You can kill it since its considered an invasive species.
>>1997884
don't give it anything that's enough to drink or shit in and you should be fine.
you'd find out soon enough if there is by the sheer amount of shit, ducks poop a lot.
>>1997886
...but can I also eat it?
>>1997886
only muscovies are impossible to kill and pretty nice animals outside of breeding season.
if it sticks around you can tame it.
they're hand fed here, they dwell around snackbars.
>>1997890
>muscovy ducks are just cunts
>pretty nice animals
Which is it?
Just leave him alone. Muscovys are cool. He looks like a pretty one too, some can look pretty dumb. Just let him duck around your yard for a while. He's a wild animal, so unless he seems sick or unable to fly, you shouldn't provide it with anything.
>>1997884
Yeah, they're fucking everywhere around retention ponds. I used to see them all the time at my old place.
i used to live by the water and would feed ducks in my backyard and one day like 10 of them would never leave and the police told me we couldn't have pet ducks and I was like wtf these aren't my pets i can't just get rid of them but they gave us a ticket anyway.
>>1998015
Lol
>>1997905
They shit and always hang around waiting for food.
I have mottled ducks that would spend the day in the pond while the muscovy would take a nap by my porch waiting for food.
>>1998015
Don't feed the ducks bro.
>live near small lake
>every single time I walk my dog there no matter what the time, someone is feeding the ducks
>like 3 or 4 loaves of bread a time
I want to slap all of them.
>>1998044
> ducks cannot live on bread alone
>>1997830
Update: duck is still here
>>1998291
op, if the duck doesn't move in exactly 20 minutes upon reading this, you might as well kill yourself. That duck is actually the phantom duck. once it attaches to your aura, its too late. It'll start by raiding your kitchen, eating you bread. Then itll move up and down the food pyramid till it ends up in meats. after laying waste to your kitchen. itll carve into your. body, slowly taking control. using you to perpetuate its influence.
>>1997875
Certainly not. He wouldn't be a prime example of any species regardless.
>>1998310
its a prime example of a fish species
>>1997834
>Nice fenced in back yard that cat probably never leaves
>Assuming owner doesn't go out with his cat to supervise
Shut the fuck up. I know outdoor cats are a problem, but jesus christ there's fucking boundaries. Are you this much of a Nazi with everything in your life?
>>1998312
Pls stahp
HE IS YOUR SPIRIT ANIMAL YOU MUST FEED AND WORSHIP HIM. MAKE A LITTLE DUCK SWEATER SO HE STAYS WARM! OP YOU MUST
don't feed your cat and observe nature in action as it hopefully goes to fucking town on the duck
film it too
if your cat just scares it away, mission accomplished, go back to feeding him
>>1998291
Christmas dinner with roast potatoes and a nice chardonnay. A nice sage stuffing is highly recommended.
Ducks are cool. We're eating Canadian geese with Turkey this month though, got tired of their shit literally.
>>1997830
Catch and cook that baby!
Delicious.
Anyone would like to be turned by its own mommy and then be turned in to smelly shit? Well in my case i think that we are product of a great effort of our mothers so we need to return something to Reward her And well what its better than a nice dinner ^_^ made by your own son it would be nice we could have a nice time inside mommy And then become its fat And a lovely part of her forever I would love that And well the part of being turned into shit by her well thats a natural process that happens to the food And something sexy too being turned into nothing moré than shit its too sexy and more if its the work of someone like your Mom And well if she swallowed You would do it in a Willing ir unwilling way And in what circumstamces
>>1998641
that's cute
you're turning this board to shit tho friendo, just be anon and quit tryin to be special
>>1998467
>the muscovy would kill the cat.
>i've never seen a duck up close
>>1998651
you know that muscovys are more agressive and roughly 5x the size of your common mallard, right?
>>1998668
>5x the size
muscovy: wingspan from 137 to 152 cm
mallard: wingspan of 81–98 cm
so not really
There is a differece in weight, because muscovy ducks can get fat as fuck.
>>1998668
>5x the size of your common mallard
that would be a goose
>>1997858
I somehow already knew that was Houston before reading this.
>>1998467
lol i seen one of these fighting two bald eagles once in the water
>>1998651
>I've never seen a muscovy
>>1998696
I kept muscovies for a few years, lot like
>pic realted
>>1998720
Yeah well have you fucked a muscovy? Come back when you're on my level, the cloacal control is incredible.
>>1998720
pls post the original pic
>>1998739
So you have a spiral penis?
>>1998739
I've been burned so badly now :(
I guess I still have much to learn
>>1997889
Yes. Roast that bitch up!
Duck has annexed your yard. You must now pay it taxes.
>>1997830
EAT IT
>>1997830
> being bullied by a duck
>>1997852
>it'll probably fuck off.
>they don't fuck off.
Tame it.
shoot it
>>1997861
Lets see yours then fucktard
Assault it with a spray bottle.
>>1998757
you're looking at it
throw bread crumbs at it.
>>1998467
>the muscovy would kill the cat.
>being this inexperienced
just shut your gabber, m8. it's embarassing to read.
>>1998757
this one?
>>1998855
You just wanna see this dude get attacked, huh?
>>1997830
quack
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PzE6-WZtOi4
>>1998682
same. something about those roof tiles
>>1998839
they fuck off given time.
they don't fuck off if you try.
>>1999000
>being a duck's bitch
silly buggay
>>1998875
>a fucking cat (which weight 2 kg) could kill a fucking 7kg duck
holy shit youre fucking retarded
>>1999023
I never said the cat would kill the duck.
Sorry about your dyslexia :/
>>1999023
A cheetah can kill a zebra though.
>>1999026
A zebra could easily kill a cheetah if it actually tried, which they seldomly do due to their prey mentality.
Geese, on the other hand...
>>1999030
We're talking about ducks
Gentlemen, would this be the proper thread to discuss duck genitalia?
>>1999038
Yes.
Yes it would.
>>1999032
Oh, right.
Still, if it's big and aggressive, it's basically the same thing.
>>1997830
Why does it have a tail?
>>1999075
birds tend to have those
Just run out there and stomp its head in. Trust me.
>>1997830
Put a garbage can over it
