Share stories of when you were being really strange relating to animals
I will start. This happened just a few minutes ago
>doing an in-class essay
>lil moth flew by me
>she calmed me down a lot so I let her crawl on my hands and stuff as I worked and she liked to be in my half-closed hand with her head peeping out
>do that for like ten minutes forgetting I was in a classroom
>she wanted to fly away so I let her
>look to my left and two classmates are gawking at me
yikes
Not sure if this counts as "autistic", but I used to capture lizards that were sun bathing on my fence, dress them up in Polly Pocket clothes and marry them off with my barbie dolls when I was ten.
>waiting for class to start
>see crow jump into a trash can
>he flies out with a bag of chips
>puts bag on the ground
>grabs bag by the bottom corner and starts shaking it around
>eats all the crumbs
>I am staring wide eyed with my arms out in awe
>20 feet away from the can on the other side i see a guy in the same stance
>crow bros
If I have people visiting my apartment I tell them to speak quietly so they don't disturb my geckos. Gecko sleep takes priority over human socializing in my place.
>>1982254
>tail nubs
Eurgh.
And how the hell does a 10 year old catch and manhandle little lizards like that? Wouldn't they run?
>>1982307
>And how the hell does a 10 year old catch and manhandle little lizards like that?
Years of experience gained from living in Florida and infinite patience. They eventually tire out so it's easier to stick their front feet inside the arm holes.
>>1982284
i caught one when i was like 5 years old . before i almost took a bite my mom took it out of my hand
>wild turkeys run around campus of my college
>sitting on a bench outside studying by myself
>eating banana
>biggest turkey I've ever seen walks by
>decide they're a friend and throw a bit of banana
>turkey comes over to me
>start hand feeding him my banana
>start talking to him
>people walk by like what the fuck
>have even less friends than before
owell
>>1982254
this picture has like 500,000 notes on tumblr
>>1982349
It would be understandable if they reacted like that in elementary or high school, where not being interesting in animals and nature is a way of being cool and edgy, but why would college students think feeding birds is weird?
>>1982255
hehe
I used to catch and release lizards and spiders at work. I tried to get a snake once, but he managed to go down a vent. But I ended up being "that person" because I didn't want people to kill small animals. The thing is that I was a young, well-groomed secretary at the time, so I'd be chasing after lizards and things in heels and a dress while people gawked.
I also went on a business outing with coworkers, and they were being pussies over a bee that was at our tent. The bee took a liking to me, probably because I didn't freak out, and started hanging out on my shirt. I just let her perch on me while I went about my business, and everyone was treating me like I was crazy.
Once when I was about 11 I fed a turkey drumstick to a pelican and then cried when I realized I had made him commit cannibalism and ruined the days trip for my whole family.
To this day I still verbally address any dog I see before I address their owner and often go around my block quieting the barking dogs so I can go to sleep and all the owners think I'm totally a lunatic. And I lose my shit if someone speaks disrespectfully to my dog.
>petting cat
>she meows
lmaoooo
>>1982245
>Junior year of high school
>Weird beetles come out every year around spring time
>They're everywhere and sometimes get inside the school
>Some people try to make game out of squishing them sometimes
>See a beetle when I'm walking up the stairs
>Pick it up and put it in my backpack
>Never got a chance to take it outside during class
>Periodically check on it to make sure I'm not suffocating it or something, other kids stare at me
>Go home and release the beetle where I know it won't be bothered by people trying to kill it
About a year ago a dragonfly flew in to our car when I tried to get it out it flew to the front of the cat and got stuck between the dash and the window it kept frecking out when I tried to get it out when I finally got it out it wouldn't let go I tried shaking it blowing on it I ended up having to flick the dumb thing off
>>1982380
bruh he was taking a shit give him a minute
>>1982352
It's certainly not mine, I just used it as an example.
>>1982327
You kidding? I'd dump any SO who "bragged" about intentionally harming any animal, even one I fucking hated. That's fucked up.
> be swimming in river
> trying to exercise because fat
> keep having to stop to rescue bugs stuck in the water
I found a dragonfly with one of its winfs all curled up once. I dunno if it was ever able to fly even after it dried off. But people stare at me when I sit with the bugs I rescue.
>>1982506
Guys are really dumb. We say shit to try and impress you, but the stuff we say would only impress our friends. Plus a lot of guys think that acting hyper aggressive is somehow a massive turn on for chicks.
>>1983094
Heh
>see bug, possibly cockroach struggling on back
>flip it over
Workmates give me the dirtiest look
> on vacation near lake with
>Used to walk around the lake and collect damselfly and some dragonflies in the water
>brought them to my beach towel
> let them dry up
Waiting for them to dry while i was played dragon ball z on the gameboy
That game was hardcore
Yesterday
>>1982307
It was easier for me to catch smaller lizards like anoles and geckos when I was 10 because I didnt have manhands that make me afraid I'm going to crush them
I did manage to nab a baby gecko and have been keeping it for the last few weeks and plan on releasing it in the spring
>pic related
I notice my mum kisses babies, even though they aren't hers and I find it weird, but I always have the urge to kiss dogs heads when I'm patting them. Sometimes I do when no ones around.
>>1982337
You were still trying to eat random small animals at 5? Wtf?
I got fired from my job because this old lady was screaming at me to kill a wasp that had gotten into some sort of pesticide(I worked at a hardware store) and was struggling on the floor. I asked her "what kind of shitbag kills something because they're afraid it'll hurt them?"
Given, I was under an extreme amount of street because lolinsomnia but yeah she lost her shit thoroughly.
>>1983149
Gotten into pesticide?
I generally don't kill spiders around my house because I prefer them over anything else. If I have to remove one, I normally catch/release. My ex hated it.
Also I generally prefer my dogs to most people, so in college I didn't make many friends, because I could only hang out with people who didn't mind chillin with me and my dogs, or who could respect my time limits for going out. Needless to say I didn't go out and get fucked up too often, but I had a pretty great time getting fucked up at my place
>>1983149
I can see where you're coming from, but if it had gotten into pesticide, was struggling, and not flying the fuck away, it was dying anyway. Putting it out of its misery would have been the humane thing to do.
>>1983166
furthermore explaining to my parents why I can't just tie my dogs up in a run all day is fucking aggravating
>Growing up
>family has dogs
>Dogs spend all day out in yard. Can't bring them inside to play with/cuddle.
>Can't spend all day with them outside
>dogs eventually run away, don't blame them
then I grew up
>Looking at fixing life situation, boils down to join military or move back in with fam
>Dogs won't get along with the rest of my family's retarded animals, including hyper aggressive dumbfuck chihuahua, multitude of cats, not to mention shitlord younger brother
"Hurr if you come home you can just leave them in the backyard, it'll be fine"
>can't explain that I spend most of my time off with the dogs, inside playing or outside playing or in my room cuddling
sure, maybe I'm not autistic, if being autistic means I'm not lazy or cruel
>in bathroom
>see little gecko crawl up the wall
>I try and catch it
>girl walks in
>Oh shit, gotta play it cool
>laugh and point to the wall
>"There's a lizard in here"
>she looks at me weird for a second, and walks into a stall
>finally catch the little shit
>jumps out of my hands and lands on my shirt
>"Oh what the hell"
>Walk put of there with it on my shirt
>guy is staring intently at my shirt
>gets close to me
>"Hold on a sec"
>Swats it off
>Then he fucking steps on it
>I mumble out "thank you"
>guy says "no problem" and walks off
>Miraculously the thing was still alive and uninjured
>scoop that bitch up
>Book it outside
>let him go
All in all, it was a very autistic situation
>>1982327
Are you in Houston?
> at friends house
> age nine or so
> we're fucking around in his backyard
> he sees a gecko
> he catches it
> proceeds to grab some sharp object
> cuts off its tail
> cuts it open and disembowls it
> sticks it onto the end of said object like some fucking barbarian
> leaves its corpse for the ants
> I could do nothing but sit and watch
I didn't speak to him for years. But who was more autistic, me or him?
>>1983115
I have really long conversations with the neighbor's dog when I'm grilling and neither my husband or the neighbors know.
Whoops.
>>1983107
Speak for yourself. I don't care about impressing any moronic fucking idiot who thinks harming an innocent animal for fun is an honorable act.
>>1983229
Mutilating and torturing animals as a small child is a sign of sociopathy. So I'd say him.
>>1983218
What a dick.
>>1983218
Should've lied and told him it was your pet
>>1983237
>Mutilating and torturing animals as a small child is a sign of sociopathy.
it's also a sign of autism.
like the title of this thread?
I'm trying to sleep but having the normal 'worked 2 weeks straight and have a day off tomorrow so cant sleep' insomnia when my cat jumps up and has something dried on the side of his neck. I figured it was just cat food and went to wash it off with a damp cloth but nope, it's shit. He has a bit of dried shit on his butt and back foot as well.
So I end up giving my cat a bath at 3am with fucking dove bodywash that I use sparingly on myself because it makes me sneeze/stuffy nose from the smell because I couldnt find the watermelon scented bath shampoo for kids I usually have. (Fuck baby shampoo that shit smells awful)
Its also cold and the cat gets rewrapped in a dry towel after the first and then I have to keep him under the blankets while he licks his feet dry and I scrub/rub his furs with dry towel pieces. Finally I cant stand the smell of the body wash anymore even though I rinsed him extra thorough and I compromise by putting him in a zip up sweater and confining him to the bedroom so he doesnt freeze.
Then I find the shit outside the literbox and have to carpet spray and scrub the spot and do it again and rinse the scrub and the poo smells awful.
Fuck I need to get their regular food. I have had to resort to friskies because I have to take the bus.
Anyways I have sweaters for a cat on hand andn I love my cat enough to give him a 3am bath instead of shutting him in the bathroom until morning so yeah.
Plus I didnt want to have to make my own thread. I am pretty sure I accidentally got a microscopic dried shit flake in my mouth and I hate life. I want to clean and vaccuum now but I live in a 2nd floor apartmemt and thats probably not a nice thing to do.
>>1983161
They sold roundup by the fucking gallon and I hated myself for working there why did I even take that job fuck me.
>>1983439
>vaccuuming your apartment is not a nice thing to do
how, this doesn't make sense, you fuckin clean your place if you want to
>on bus
>little hornet flies in through open window next to me
>does the usual of trying to find the exit by flying against glass
>flies to the other side of the bus, lands next to a glasses wearing neckbeard opposite me
>he captures the hornet inside a plastic bottle half filled with fizzy
>shakes it continuously
>unable to tear eyes away from hornets suffering, I don't know how long it took to pass but glasses fucker kept watching and shaking the bottle
>get home
>cry about it
I blame it on PMS.
>>1983510
>vacuum from 1990
That's pretty common, to be honest, and I can't see any problems with it.
Keeping things that work properly instead of buying new shit all the time eases the burden on Earth's resources.
>>1982245
But, anon, that just sounds like you were being nice.
Here's two stories for ya:
>Be young (5 or younger, can't remember)
>in pet shop with my mum
>see something brown and chocolate-like
>start eating it
>it's a dog treat
>2nd year of primary school
>often watch the mosquito larvae in the bird bath and think they're tiny tadpoles
>one day I see a dragonfly drowning
>take it out from the water, but it still can't fly
>keep it with me throughout the entire school day, sheltering it from class mates
>finally release it when I'm going home
>it flies away at last
>>1982366
How did people react to a man in heels and a dress in the workplace?
>>1983114
>I did manage to nab a baby gecko and have been keeping it for the last few weeks and plan on releasing it in the spring
It's going to die in a day. How do you think it'll survive outside now? Probably doesn't even know where or how to get food.
Some of these definitions of autistic just roughly translate to "not shitty people."
Saving something's life at your own inconvenience is something good people do and you have nothing to fear from people that think you're weird for doing so.
Goddamnit humanity you might actually have a chance.
>>1983562
2/10, but good on you for for taking the low-hanging fruit. Someone has to.
>>1983510
I'm glad you're back. Honestly.
>>1982327
Sort isn't autistic but your ex is.
>Collect bugs from garden
>Put them in bowl
>Put glass over them
>Fill bowl up with water in some bizarre attempt to make an underwater insect dome
I was a strange child.
I was leaving work the other day and as I was closing my car door I saw a roly poly heading underneath my wheel. I started the car and put it in reverse but then I hesitated. After a moment I threw it in park, hopped out, put him in a safe place, and went home. I'm glad this place is anonymous because I would never tell anyone I know IRL about shit like that. I used to shoot rabbits and squirrels and other small animals for no raisin and all my friends still have this idea of who I am even though I've become a weeny who doesn't even like killing ants. It's tough.
>>1983430
I don't think that was a sign of autism
>>1983591
I wish you were.
> my black lab is laying on her back
> go to scratch belly
> find the sweet spot; her legs start kicking
> somehow gets her leg caught in the roof of her her mouth
> I manually remove her own leg from her mouth
> confirmed suspicions about my dog's intelligence.
>>1982245
Sometimes I let my cat ear food from my mouth.
When anole lizards bite, it doesn't hurt and they tend to hang on. So I'd put one on each earlobe, walk in to my grandmother's and announced I had gotten my ears pierced. Every time she'd shriek.
I also get really autistic when people brag about killing venomous snakes because I had a friend die from being trampled by his own cow, which happens 4-5x more than dying from a snake bite. I tend to wax poetic a bit too long.
>summer classes at shitty university (UMiami)
>bored as fuck and nothing today because fucking Miami
>lots of Muscovy ducks on campus
>decide to become The Duckmaster
>snatch extra bread from dining hall
>teach ducks that if I snap my fingers, then can get fed if they follow me around
>start being able to ID different individuals
>parade of ducks following me back to my dorm
Shame I didn't keep it up after the regular semester started.
>be little kid playing in the mud
>my cat comes by
>decide to cover cat in mud
>it just lets me
>mom doesn't understand what this creature is
>>1984473
>it isn't.
says the autist that admits to torturing animals.
it's actually pretty common. Aspergers used to be considered a type of psychopath. The symptoms are remarkably similar in many respects.
My cat can do tricks and I like to brag about it when people I know or am around complain about their unruly untrained dog or talk shit about cats.
Sit, stand up, turn around, shake, lie down, roll over, fetch, bring it.
Bring it is my fave because I will indicate something for him to bring to me (a treat bag usually) and he will pick it up in his mouth and bring it over to me. I am working on having him bring me my keys (via a plush keychain attachment)
>be 10
>family goes on a pier
>walking down to the end
>fishermen standing around; fishing rods in water
>man catches fish and throws it onto the pier
>fish squirms around
>I begin to cry because it's dying
>dad walks up to the fish and pushes it back into the water
>leave pier
Another
>be 10
>going to a grocery store
>stop and stare at the catfish tank
>butcher grabs a fish and takes it to a cutting board
>I stare and watch the butcher hit the fish on the head with large knife to stun it
>butcher proceeds to cut the fishes head off and gut it
>I cry and look for my parents
Another
>be 20 years old
>in a pet store
>looking at the fish and see a large Oscar fish
>trace the glass and it follows my finger
>ask my sister to come watch the fish
>lift my finger up towards to top of the fish's container
>fish jumps up out of the water and bites my finger
>I pull back in shock and the fish falls off and starts flopping on the ground
>I stare at it and motion my hands to attempt to grab it but it is flipping too much
>cashier notices and gets a net and puts it back into the tank
>asks what happened
>beat around the bush
>cashier explains that the fish could've been abused as it was relinquished by its owner
Fuck, I'm a retard.
>>1983537
Second story is a good feel man
I would spend a lot of my pool time saving bees from the water. I hate bees though.
I'd also collect rollie pollies in my insect box. One time I found the largest sucker I've ever seen. Creeped me out so I stopped collecting them.
Collected ladybugs too and after a few days, decided to release them only to see them dead.
>had kitten
>decided I should feed it
>had a can of generic cat food
>open can and ask kitten to eat it
>kitten sits there staring at me
>scoop up some of the wet canned food and put it in mouth to show kitten it tastes good
>didn't
>kitten didn't eat anyway
Lost that little cat a couple weeks later. Poor Tom. Although I blamed myself for it, it's possible that my mother or father gave him away while I was at school.
Mother gave my dachshund puppy to the pound when it had diarrhea and shit on the carpet.... Now I know the poor thing could've had parvo. Man, I feel bad now-- I just didn't know... I was so young...
But now, I have a dachshund puppy again. He's treated like a prince.
Wake up in the morning and think I'm home alone. See the cat. Start talking to it and saying really weird things in a weird loud voice while petting her "who's a itty bitty pretty kitty titties" "who's my favorite pussy" etc etc.
Walk out into the living room and my younger brother and his friends are all sitting there staring at me.
>>1984967
this had me dying
>>1985015
None of those things are particularly retarded, Anon. No need to beat yourself up over having basic human empathy, even for fish. Fish are God's creatures too.
>>1985029
Giving your pet babytalk also isn't weird. I'll admit that I don't really understand people at all, but having empathy and treating your pets and other animals kindly is definitely not an indicator of autism.
I like dancing like a retard in front of my cockatiels (jumping around, flailing my arms). It makes me feel happy.
>>1985047
You appear to have an egg-like object.
>>1985047
the fuck is up with it's beak?
>>1982349
Ignore those normies. U were petting an animal. Fuck them
>>1985066
Dirty beak from food.
>>1983149
Yeah I'm going to guess that if you're the kind of person who uses the word "shitbag" to a stupid customer just for being stupid (all customers are stupid), then you were probably already on a slippery slope of unsettling, unsociable, or unprofessional behavior.
All I'm saying is instead of insomnia and that explosive incident being cause and effect, they may both be symptoms of a subtle mental issue that you should probably talk to a therapist about. Not just because of what you said happened but also the particular verbage you use to describe it. Just sayin'
>>1983094
related pool story
>swimming alone in pool at hotel outside
>see a bee thrashing in the middle of pool
>scoop it up and put it on land
>watch it and blow on it gently to help it dry it's fuzz out (it bathed like a cat)
>don't leave until it flies away
>>1983107
BB guns don't hurt.
Pellet guns and metal bb and actual bullets hurt.
Me and my dog used to wrestle and bite each other then after words I'd stop and we would hug and everything would be fine.
Dogs need some sort of rough housing, cat...? I don't know.
I love dogs had to put one down cuz rabies but my dog nowadays loves wrestling mother fucker ate a soda can and has better muscle and abs then me.
Fucking Reese Witherspoon is his name and eating his own shit is his game.
You know those sticky mouse traps? At work my boss put one down and of course a mouse got trapped. The poor thing was suffering. I just gently took it off (took about 10 minutes) and walked it to some back alley behind the store to free it.
I literally have aspergers, so I don't know if that had anything to do with it lol.
>>1983684
Same feeling bro.
Went from cold blood hunter to saving small bugs.
Weird feels.
>>1985846
Having compassion for other living things is not a disorder. Not having it, is.
>>1982349
Dude, that's awesome. Fuck those people
>waiting to cross road
>person with Dalmatian stood in front of me
>overwhelming urge to touch dog
>tap tip of tail with one finger
>dog turns and looks at me
>raise a hand in apology and mouth 'sorry'
>at garden centre with mum and brother
>bro and I looking at fish
>see large tank with several types of fish
>catfish is chasing biting some kind of fancy fish
>fancy fish has injuries and scars on find and tail
>catfish tries to start fights with less biteable fish
>goes back to attacking fancy fish
>mention this somewhat casually to cashier
>he says he hadn't noticed sand kind of laughs it off
>concern follows me all the way home
>>1985956
Having empathy for animals is not autism. Why do so many people seem to think this? Apologizing to a dog for bothering him isn't that strange, either, tbh.
This thread has warmed my heart. Thank you.
A couple of years ago I was working for a marquee hire company. Most of the hand are 17-21 yrs old. I'm 26. Lifting 2x8 wooden flooring and stacking them on the lorry. One of them lifts one up and can see a mouse running around in the dead grass. They all go fucking nuts. I sensed they were going to have "fun" with it. Threaten physical violence on anyone who would touch it. All of them looking sad/apologetic and give me assurances they will nod. Keep watch on said mouse until I'm sure he has gotten to safety.
>>1983684
Why not find people/friends you can be yourself around? Can't be good hiding who you truly are.
Also what is a roly poly?
>>1983684
Why not find people you can be yourself around? Can't be nice hiding.
Also what is roly poly?
>>1985956
You're a kind soul.
>>1985975
A pill bug. They curl up as a defense mechanism. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roly_poly
>>1986019
We call them woodlouse or cheesy bugs in England . I don't know why cheesy bug.
Roy poly makes cute sense
>Walk down by the stream near my house.
>Accidentally step on a frog as I walk by.
>It's tongue rolls out and it screams.
>Go home and cry for two hours.
I'm 32.
>>1983565
Lol you don't know shit about reptiles.
>>1982245
>Be young me
>Watching Powerpuff Girls
>Episode where Townsville is controlled by cats
>See mayor groom a cat by licking it's back
>Decide to try it
>Lick my cats back like I'm a cat
>Aunt yells at me and says that's gross
I used to copy TV a lot
>>1986494
Your aunt may have thought it was gross, but I bet your cat appreciated it. Cats are a lot more social than most people realize. They simply show it by grooming each other, more like primates, than by running around and chasing things together, like dogs.
>>1986581
That explains cats generally liking me. I often try to do what cats do to me as a way to try to show that I'm it's friend.
>Half the stories in this thread are just anons being good people in general
>Being a good person means you're autism now
What?
>>1982245
>always say hello to random cats
>stop and chat with them if they meow back
>see cat in window
>HELLO NEW FRIEND
>talk to cat in window, cat is very talkative and sweet. Meows, trills and purrs at me.
>man who lives in house comes to do to see strange girl peering in his window harassing his cat
>awkwardly back away like a retard
>he stares at me, goes into his house, draws curtains
ow
>>1985971
lol maybe they were exited because they love mice and it was an interesting event that happened while they were doing their boring work
>>1986620
>draws curtains
wow. asshole
>>1986620
Okay this is actually somewhat autism, but that guy was super rude still. You were obviously talking to the cat. I kind of wish people weren't so jaded they can't be friendly anymore.
>>1982349
LCC?
>>1986437
Lol! I'm from Wales and I can't say I've ever heard the term hehe.
>he look, my chance to post stories about what a 'good person' I am!
>>1982307
I used to catch anoles and all sorts of little snakes when I was a kid. I didnt try to dress them up though.
>>1986449
I fucking lost it.
>>1982255
clawfist crowbro
>>1986770
To be fair, it's hard to do more autistic shit with animals. I've never been successful in getting mine to line up from smallest to largest.
>collecting border collie puppy
>see my puppies mother
>we share a moment staring into each others eyes
>her puppies swarm me, chewing my beard and ears
>while the breeder is talking I can't hear her
>must apologise for taking her baby away
>lay on the floor and press my head into hers
>shed tears
>get up I front of breeder and breeders family like an autistic hippy
>>1985974
A pill bug
>be 12
>go to camp
>camp leaders find a hornet
>put it in Gatorade bottle
>they found a sacayda
>made them fight
>hornet stings sacayda a lot
>sacayda stops moving
>everyone goes back to tents
>hornet and sacayda trapped
>I opened the bottle
>hornet flies out
>I take sacayda out
>amcri.jpg
>sacayda is kill
>make tiny grave
>put flower on it
>be upset all day
On the rare occasion I have guests in my apartment, I tell them to speak softly so as not to disturb the geckos. Also I absolutely refuse to flush a gecko out of hiding in tank just so house guest can see them.
>>1986927
>sacayda
Dear Jesus, are you twelve? Took me like a minute to figure out you were trying to say cicada
>>1987118
I thought cicada was pronounced with a hard c.
>>1987118
I think he's russian.
>>1982368
pelicans eat other birds m8
>>1983509
>he captures the hornet inside a plastic bottle half filled with fizzy
That guy sounds based AF you'd need ninja reflexes and balls of steel to pull that off. Would play vidya with. Fuck hornets/wasps.
>>1987297
This
>>1987119
kick-ada?
>>1986600
The best way to be friendly to a cat is to slowly blink at them. Cats are similar enough to dogs that direct focused eye contact is a confrontational challenge.
I think the reason why cats respond to humans smiling so well is because it causes our eyes to crease. But I've met plenty of dogs who growl and bark at humans who smile at them because they see our teeth and think we want to bite them.
Also, ironically enough, a good way to let a cat know you are friendly is to ignore it.
>>1983509
Similar
>on the bus
>yellow jacket wasp wants to escape
>guy just tries to swat it with a news paper
>I slam a few windows open
>wasp slowly makes his way towards me
>I sit by the edge of the seat so it won't bump into me
>eventually gets out
>wtf did I just move seats for a wasp?
>guy just stares at me for a while
>>1982368
pelicans eat everything including other birds lol
>me
>15
>high-functioning autistic
>not even able to read human facial expressions
>no real friends
>removed from public school at 15 for... problems...
>visit great aunt
>great aunt has awesome german shepherd
>play with and snuggle with german shepherd constantly
>start visiting great aunt weekly, just to see german shepherd
>feel more emotionally connected to that dog than any human I have ever met
>great aunt goes into nursing home
>my mother takes in german shepherd
>gives german shepherd away a week later
>years go by
>be 30 + year old furfag, still cry about that dog whenever I think of her
>crying while typing this
>have never owned another dog
>can't into owning dog, because tiny apartment
>plan to get 4 german shepherds when I finally move out of the city
>why the fuck am I telling you faggots this?
>>1985780
stop
>finally get a girlfriend
>shes p cool
>we go to a pet store one day and we see a rabbit
>"omg its so cute"
>impulse buys the rabbit
>takes it home
>it starts to nibble a bit
>all of her friends are allergic to it
>she decides its too much work and just gives it away after 2 months
>doesn't even feel any remorse
It actually bothers the shit out of me. It's the only thing I really don't like about her and it eats at me all the time. rip Kelly wherever you are.
>>1987462
whyd your mom give it away? also, why are you a furfag?
>>1987462
>gives german shepherd away a week later
That really sucks, anon. Makes me sad that that the person who should love you the most should be so callous.
>>1987462
You can get a dog in an apartment... Don't cry :(
>>1987479
Lol I'm like that. This is common in girls.
>>1983149
Some people have allergies and could die from wasp stings. This is a liability for a store.
Also it was uh, suffering and dying.
>>1987650
can you not
>>1987119
Cs are almost always soft in front of Is and Es. Blame the French.
>>1987479
I almost had to break up with my boyfriend because his ex was like this and they were still retardedly close. She bought a rat, pawned it off on him (he didn't want it), used it as an excuse to enter his place without asking or anything, and never fucking handled it. Poor thing was constantly scared and neurotic. Then they moved in together (ugh) and she bought the first fucking cst she saw just because she could without even thinking about the already mentally fragile rat. I was able to convince them to give her to someone who could take care of her, and then eventually my bf agreed that their relationship was wildly unhealthy and cut off contact. Thank Jesus, she was horrible.
On a side note, she also gave no shits about the cat and proceeded to buy a dog as well later on, even though the cat was very territorial and pissy all the time.
>go to bird store
>enter room where they keep parrots
>wait till im alone
>play indian music
>this one giant cockatoo loves it and loses its mind
>me and this bird bob our heads like retards for like 5 minutes.
>turn off music and leave
I have been doing this for almost a year now. The other birds have also began dancing to the rhythmic beats of pajeet. how autistic am I /an/?
>>1987789
Take a video and post it, you are not autistic, and just enjoy having some fun with your pets.
>>1987790
but they're not my pets.
>scrub turkeys always fucking up the cunting paths at my uni by covering them in fucking debris and shit
>seriously these birds are worse than fucking hitler
>anyway i'm walking along what should be a nice cement pavement that runs along the top of a retaining wall but is actually covered in about two inches of soil and mulch because of the cunting scrub turkeys when i see one perched on top of the retaining wall
>tread lightly and sneak up on the dumb bird (they're super tame because they live in a university campus)
>punt it off the edge of the wall
It looked fine to me but I realised afterwards that birds are really fragile and humans are really strong and I could have fucked it up badly. I typically try and avoid hurting animals and once cried over a slug I stepped on, but I was really pissed off about scrub turkeys that day.
So yeah.
>>1987794
Well they should be the way you obviously relate to them.
>5 years ago in high school
>never spoke to anyone
>walk past some jock, overhear him say : heheh i punted a praying mantis outside dude it was so funny
>stop walking, kick him as hard as I can
>get suspended
>worth it
>
>>1987823
Definitely worth it. Good job, Anon.
>>1982349
Now, you got a turkey friend.
When I was a kid, I was playing on the beach sand and then I found a dead fish, but I decided to keep it anyway. I put it inside a glass of water and put it inside the bathroom. Mom got pissed at me, because it smelled really bad.
>>1987481
Did you miss the part where he said he was more emotionally connected to an animal than any other person?
>>1987481
Well, considering that he openly admitted to being a furfag, his mom probably gave the dog away because he was raping it every chance he got.
>Get new female platoon leader just in time for annual training
>out innafield going over an upcoming "mission"
>watching a praying mantis slowly walk towards us
>it makes its way up her leg, onto her back and stops on her shoulder
>looks at the rest of the platoon
>turns a little and taps her face with his arms
>she fucking flips shit and screams like someone just ripped her uterus out
>watch praying mantis bro fly through the air towards certain death
>dive and stretch out hands and catch him, saving him a painful falling death
>entire platoon, battalion sergeant major and commander are just staring at me
>platoon leader is in the tent having a panic attack
>meet new dog
>instinctively ask it really mean questions I know it can't answer, like "dog how do you feel that you'll never get to vote"
>>1987649
>Encouraging an autistic furfag to adopt a large dog.
N-no, anon..
>>1987649
>You can get a dog in an apartment...
Not really. Pets-allowed apartments are SUPER rare these days.
...I too am a furfag looking for somewhere I can get a medium-to-large dog and not pay a gorillion dollars in mortgage or be leasing a duplex or whatever :T
> Used to have a pet rat in high school.
> Poor thing died due to unknown causes right in front of me.
> Apparently it traumatized me because a couple years ago, we have mice in our house.
> Told to buy rat poison, I decline.
> Can't kill rodents, just can't.
> Get the mouse traps that catch the mice so you can release them afterwards.
> Catch two mice that way, release them in woods down the block.
> One of them is now working on his Masters at Columbia.
>>1988137
That's evil. Everyone knows there's nothing more cruel than reminding a dog it can't participate in the democratic process.
>>1985114
Purdy
>>1985956
This is a good read...oh humanity... Still some good out their.
>>1985974
I call them potato bugs, does anyone else?
They are the small grey bugs that roll into a ball.
>>1987789
Omg, i would love to see this!
I like to sit with either on of my two dogs and communicate with them through their body/facial ques. They have a lot of facial ques and pointing you dont notice until you actually sit down and watch them.
I also feel bad and end up trying to play like a dog with them so they arent always the ones having to abide by people life. No, i dont howl or huff like them when playing. Thats just over 9000 autistic.
It's not the best story ever but I recall walking my dog in my city during the 12th of July parades. (Belfast city for those who care)
Crowds everywhere.
Three Australian chicks see him and lose their shit. Spend a good 10 minutes petting him and as they finish saying how handsome he is they walk away.
One turns to me as they leave "you're aright too ha"
".. Thanks you too"
I stood there for a while like a dick as they kept on walking.
>>1988245
Ohh pic related.
It's my dog Ace
>>1988245
This is probably the worst thing about having a cute dog
>>1988396
Fuck off, degenerate.
>>1988405
Abusing someone else's dog is not how you seek love, Anon.
>walking across a bridge to buy some stuff
>notice this little bird panting in the sun
>let's me get really close
>something ain't right, it's not flying away
>use newspaper some jerk left sitting around to move the bird into a shaded part of the bridge
>pour a little of my water on it because I thought it would help the bird cool down
>no idea
>watch it for a few minutes
>eventually it flies away
>>1982245
I use to get my mouth dry, shove moths in it, stand over my sister, and let them fly out.
>>1988410
Just jerk it to porn, you don't really NEED a partner to get by.
>>1988396
rape a stray tbh fam
>>1988410
smh
>waiting outside store
>guy with visible issue in wheelchair passes me
>assistance dog
>stare at dog as they pass
>guy glances at me
>shit he think i was staring at him
>look away
>kick self for looking even more suspicious
Apparently I have a pretty intense look on my face when I'm dog watching, I can't help it.
>All-girls school
>There's this cat who acts like she owns the place.
>Always trying to get inside class
>Bitchy classmates always lose their shit
>I'm the one who gets to put her outside whenever that happens
>"B-b-but cats have toxoplasma and then you won't be able to have babies"
>It's not like I go to cats and sniff their assholes
>Janitor tries to dump the cat far away from school grounds, to no avail
>Cat gives birth like crazy
>I buy the kittens milk with my allowance
>Kittens grow up. Some went who-knows-where, some stays.
>At this point, just by making purring noises at a cat and squatting they'll come over to me
>Eventually able to summon cats at will
>mfw I have a cat army now
>Currently at high-school
>Sometimes hang out at my old school
>Most of the cat herd have dispersed by now
>See the old cat
>Used to be fat and lazy, now she's scrawny and scratches at anyone who gets near
>scratched me too, then she recognises me
>Now whenever I visit I always make sure to have some catfood with me
>She still comes over when I squat
>>1988882
>currently at high school
MODS
>Mom rescued stray kitten by accident
>Anon, help!
>Proceed to help her manage the cat. The cat manages to figure out the litter box and how to eat dry food.
>Little brother offers a name to the cat on facebook.
>Bro, do you want this small cat?
>He agrees, and he takes a few weeks to discuss it with his girlfriend.
>Girlfriend gets into argument with him over having an family cat and a kitten in one apartment. Makes sense.
>Later, I had learned that his girlfriend left him with her stuff and bought a hundred dollars of new clothing. She had even stated that she's not sorry about treating herself.
>My face when a rescue cat broke up my little brother's unsteady relationship.
I have a few.
>Go on vacation to a resort in Thailand
>We get villas, fuck yeah
>One night heading back to the villa and hear "MEOWMEOWMEOW"
>Turn around
>Oh hello cat
>Very obviously pregnant cat, purrs, wants attention
>I happily oblige, my sister tells me I'm going to get fleas
>I feed her every day
>Our butler (Villa attendant) sees that I'm taking care of her, buys a bag of cat food
>I cry when we leave because I can't take care of her and I don't know if the hotel staff will (though I think our butler did, at least, considering he bought her cat food)
>Spent more time taking care of a pregnant stray than sitting by pool, gave no fucks.
She was a sweet cat. I hope shes doing okay
Another story. I'll make a few separate posts because of the ones I have.
>February last year, heading back to apartment with SO
>See something essentially having a seizure in the middle of the sidewalk
>It's a cardinal
>Don't know what happened to it, but it's wing is extremely fucked up
>Call campus animal hospital, ask what do
>They ask us to take the bird in
>Sure why not?
>Wait with the bird, try to feed it some fruit while my SO gets a pair of gloves and a shoebox (they told us to carry it in a shoe box w/ holes because apparently the darkness would calm the bird down)
>Bird is still just panicking
>Eventually boyfriend comes back, puts bird in box, we start heading to animal hospital
>Bird just keeps seizing and flapping away
>Halfway to the hospital it stops
>Bird is kill
>Bury it and cry because I just wanted to help it
Another.
>Be visiting home from grad school
>Go upstairs because fuck I'm tired
>Sister goes into her room and starts screaming, runs out of room
>Wtf
>One of my cats (2 cats + 1 dog) had left a live mouse under my sisters pillow
>She's freaking out
>My mum is freaking out
>Cat is offended because they don't appreciate his gift
>I take the mouse and put it outside, it lives!
Frankly, I love animals. I have more stories, these are just the most recent.
>>1989259
Why didn't he just ask if you wanted the damn cat back? Then again, if a fucking kitten is enough to tear apart your relationship, maybe it was for the best.
>be me in highschool
>see giant mantis on the ground, circle of kids surrounding it, trying to stomp it being being weenies about it and missing
>ninja dive into the circle and cover the mantis with my hands
>kids are fucking stomping on my hands trying to kill it
>they give up after a minute, proceed to scoop the mantis up
>mantisbro looks unharmed but is freaking the fuck out, pinches my finger
>not enough to draw blood but I am thoroughly impressed by mantisbro's strength
>set mantis free somewhere else
I had a reputation as being "that girl" in school, always helping critters and befriending dogs.
Just a few weeks ago I found a Red Admiral butterfly on the sidewalk. He was lethargic and obviously sick but I picked him up so he wouldn't get crushed. He chilled on my hand the entire time I was running errands, and then came home with me. I snuck him into a restaurant I'm a regular at and showed him to some of my friends there, it was fun.
I wasn't able to save him, despite doing everything in my power to revitalize him, but at least he was comfortable. RIP Admiral Hairbutt.
>sisters screams in kitchen
>she was about to pick up a bunch of black lint (what the fuck was she thinking) when it moved
>it was a male Brazilian Wandering Spider (Phoneutria Nigriventer) aka the world's most venomous spider (inb4 huebr)
>consider killing it cause for fuck's sake it's in my fucking house and could kill my whole family if it wanted to
>feelsbadman
>decide to keep it
>proceed to sleep with an enclosure containing Death itself on a shelf next to my bed for the next 2 years
>everyone freaks the fuck out when I explain it's not "a small tarantula with a funny red mouth"
>was extremely aggressive during the first few months, after a while he starts mellowing out and doesn't try to attack me at all
>"looks" up when I approach enclosure (expecting food)
>only creepy thing he did was watching me while I slept, I'd wake up and he'd just be there facing me in the dark
>still a cool spiderbro, he loved to explore the enclosure, touching and moving small stuff
>rip incredibly deadly spiderbro, I miss you
>>1989386
Cute.
>>1989363
He didn't pick up the cat right away. I'll assume that they got to talking and the girlfriend didn't want to balance her job with caring for a stray kitten.
The kitten is still at my house.
>>1982245
a couple of friends wanted to decorate our apartment as a surprise after two hard weeks, away, they told us when we came back they had a hard time not killing spiders, because we have this no kill policy in our home, so if there's a spider or what so ever we catch it and release it in the garden.
Today i was also told by my friend that she was considering buying a fluffy key ring out of fur, but then decided she couldn't because it would make me feel bad
>Decide I want to buy an exotic pet of some sort
>Need something small and easy to care for
>Decide on a Tarantula
>Find a small local shop that specialises in reptiles and arachnids
>Go in
>No windows, I guess for the animals sake
>Can't get the front door to close
>Stand for 2 minutes trying to close it
>Cute girl comes over
>Giggles and helps me close the door
>She asks if I need anything
>I guess she is the daughter, it is apparently a family owned shop
>get really nervous
>the room is really dark and the atmosphere is pretty intimidating with reptiles and bugs all over
>''I--I just want to look around''
>she smiles and says to ask if I need anything
>start looking around
>can't stop thinking about how beta I must have come across
>want to show her I am a funny guy and pretty alpha
>walk over to the alligator tank
>alligator is just the shops, not for sale
>come up with a plan
>grab one of the live food packages
>take out a large locust
>plan to put it into the alligator tank so I can rescue it
>start looking for the door of the tank
>girl walks round the corner, sees me holding a locust
>realise how strange this much look
>''I--I wanted to feed you, my exotic pet''
>carry the locust towards her
>put it to her mouth
>she bats it away, asks me to leave
I still want a tarantula
>>1989556
I am afraid of dogs
>>1982245
A-are you the moth anon from /out/ that had a bathtub full of leopard moths that he masturbated to?
>>1983439
>Owning cats
Kill yourself baka desu
>>1982358
>not being interested in animals is edgy
of then
>>1983107
>projecting this hard
Don't you had snakes to get bitten by or something Ausfriend?
>>1983218
What's wrong with you?
>>1987815
I couldn't stop laughing like a retard at this.
>scrub turkeys
A-am I autism ?
>>1982327
What a fucking prick.
Not autistic at all: animal cruelty is a dealbreaker.
>>1982366
>But I ended up being "that person" because I didn't want people to kill small animals.
Good on you. Just because the lives of small animals are more easily extinguished, doesn't mean that they are less worthy of life.
Admittedly, I would have been probably been a pussy about the bee, though. I have a phobia when it comes to flying, stinging insects.
>Rescue spiders from doom at work/friend's houses
>Tripping on mushrooms, staring at massive spider in web
>Leave area
>Come back later, spider is gone
>"What happened to spider?"
>"Oh, x nearly walked into the web so is kill"
Fucking hell, she saw the goddamn spider and managed to avoid it, just remember that it's there you fucking dipshit. I raged pretty hard.
>>1990666
It's understandable, I hate the buzzing noise. It makes my hair stand on end. But they're more likely to cause a problem if you freak out, it's better to just relax and let them do their thing.
>>1990695
>But they're more likely to cause a problem if you freak out, it's better to just relax and let them do their thing.
Pretty much this. People are triggered way too easily.
>>1982366
>But I ended up being "that person" because I didn't want people to kill small animals
Yeah, fuck you anon and your dislike of entirely needless killing.
>Taking break from college at home
>Notice spider near dog food bowl
>Leave it be because it's not going to burn the house down
>Come back two weeks later
>Spider has pretty big body count
>Mention spider to brother
>Instantly decides it needs stomping
>Have to get the spider out
Honestly, I think with all the bugs it got the spider probably did more for the house in those weeks than he did for months. I'm pretty tired of his shit right now.
>>1989556
HAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK BRO
>>1982327
Fuck that guy. I would've broken up with him too.
>>1982245
For some reason I feel a great urge to smack that stupid cat in its autistic face
>>1990695
Yeah, I try to just relax now, but it's really tough. Bees aren't so bad, but hornets with their thing where they like bob in and out at you really gets me.
>>1987757
I would've broken up with that fuck. He keeps bad company which is only gonna cause you problems.
>be ausfag
>friends and I always sit at same table for lunch in primary school (we would have been around 10)
>discover a redback spider living under table
>cool!
>catch flies and feed them to spider
>she is our badass pet and guardian
>show my favorite teacher one day
>she kills the spider
>Later, first year in college
>common black house spider in window of shower
>notice she comes out every time there is water running
>wonder if she is thirsty
>slowly move finger to edge of her web
>she creeps out, touches me with her forelegs and literally sips water from my wet finger
>this is so exciting for me, they're harmless creatures (mild bite like a wasp) but still scary looking
>repeat every time I have a shower
>show roommate
>she kills the spider
Picture is of the type of spider. They're actually really chill, and although their webs are ugly in windows, they're definitely bros and are extremely reluctant to bite.
>>1991488
>get new job in racehorse stable
>having a great time, horses are very soothing for my depression/PTSD and they seem to like me as well
>turns out I'm a gifted amateur with horses
>have a favorite horse, a young filly, who comes over for cuddles when I walk by
>she's one of the ones that pushes her head into your chest and shuts her eyes
>one day I'm really happy to see her
>wrap my arms around her head and make mock-kissing noises while nuzzling her face, looking into her eyes
>her ears slowly fold back, she backs away and looks at me uncomfortably from a distance
>our relationship has never been the same, we just work together
Now my best friend is a colt from the UK who is by far the most chilled and lovely racehorse I've ever met. Ah well.
>mfw even horse chicks think I'm weird
>is kid
>country of discussion has no mammals. so theres lots of mice/rats/whatever
>be at other kids place
>one is discovered
>everyone freaks out
>i kill it (just by catching it and then crushing it, id then go outside and drop it in the sewer)
must have happened like 5 times
>reading in bed.... naked
>moth flies through window
>ignore moth
>moth lands on gonads
umm
>moth lays eggs in urethra
UM OKAY
>moth leaves
>piss out eggs shortly later.
>waiting for train
>a wild snail appears!
>ignore snail
>snail starts climbing up me
>20 minutes later i flick it off when another random animal is coming close to sexually abusing me
>walking through bad neighbourhood
>random dog in park
>suddenly another dog appears and runs up and starts fighting the other dog
>i say [i didnt shout] "oi"
>they both stop, agressor walks away. other one comes up and i pat it, poor thing had half its ear missing
>call rangers
>leave dog in park
high functioning
>>1991493
can you give your opinion on >>1991431
tah?
>>1991488
>she kills the spider
I've never understood how people can do this so casually.
>her ears slowly fold back
That sounds terrifying.
>>1983109
Yikes. I like animals, but those big, brown cockroaches the size of a Snicker's fun-bar? I flee at the sight of them.
>>1983237
I think it's more of a natural, morbid curiosity that's prevalent throughout children around the ages of 5 to 16.
I remember being 11 or 12 once, and there was this kukui nut tree in the park next to my house, and I'd smash open the nuts with a large rock and feed them to some stray doves or grouse. After there would be a large gathering, I'd throw various sticks and stones at them to stun them so I could bring them home for my parents to cook, but the actual, physical act of harming them was strangely very satisfying.
An old man once told me I was being very cruel to them, and I did not believe it at the time. Now that I am older, I can say with certain confidence that I was being a very large dick.
Sometimes I'll still hunt for doves, which are actually quite delicious. Sometimes you'll find one with a cheetos still stuck in it's throat from last night's meal.
Very interesting creatures.
>>1991515
What? Elaborate please?
>>1991524
elaborate on what?
>>1991527
I don't get it. Where are you from? Are you a male or a female? Why did you let the moth lay eggs in your freaking urethra? Are you considered the "weird" one among your peers?
What the heck.
>>1991531
those details are irrelevant. why would i tell you. they did not even happen in the same countries.
>>1991532
Never mind, you win. This is simply too bizarre.
>>1991517
Done. I'm no expert though.
>>1991488
I guess we're taught from a young age not to tolerate creepy-crawlies, still bums me out that people are so quick to kill them. Fuck you, society.
>>1991515
>no mammals
>so theres lots of mice/rats/whatever
wat
>>1986449
RRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>roughly ~7 years old
>keeping spider I found in a jar
>he clearly needs a spider friend
>put second spider in jar
>spider fisticuffs; no survivors
I also thought I could feed them dead flies
>>1984955
>Can't find anything to do in Miami
>Can't into metro rail
>Just down the road from Sunset Place
>Doesn't know about Game Time
I know this is a 10 day old post but still, man.
>>1983430
Thats not a fucking sign of autism you downie.
Autisti peoples bond very easily to animals, watch a fucking documentary or read a book damnit.
>>1983594
Thats beautifull anon
>>1987895
Thats just autism.
It doesn't explain the fur part.
>>1982376
You're a true hero
>>1982376
This made me remember this really strange tradition in the village where I grew up, where parents in some middle class families(not mine) would pay their kids a smull amount of money for each jar they could fill with beetles. After they had gotten their money, the kids made a game out of killing the beetles in the most gruesome ways they could imagine. I only remember one such way, though, and that was by digging a pit in a sandbox, pouring the hundreds of beetles in a jar into it, and then filling it with sand.
I didn't do anything to stop them, but I never participated in it either.
>>1988137
I do the same thing anon.
I may have said "perpetual virgin" to my bearded dragon more times than "hello" at this point.
I feel like it's my faggoty passive-agressive resistance to this idea people have that their animal understands the actual words they are saying.
>>1993227
What backwards-ass hamlet did you live in?
>>1993390
Honestly, it's pretty common in the country. My great grandma used to do the same thing with the local kids down in the Blue Ridge mountains. It was considered a way to both keep the kids out from underfoot and keep the garden from being eaten by beetles.
Not the other poster, by the way. Just saw similar stuff.
>>1993395
It's always odd that the people living in country rural towns are always horrific to animals, and not just wildlife, even their own pets.
I guess it's an issue of high unemployment/lack of education.
>>1993404
Not so, there are tons of black beetles that destroy our vegetable garden each year. Every day I have to go out, pick them all off by hand, and crush them with a rock. They are so fucking huge, they just shrug off anything but physical violence. Not to mention those fucking massive green caterpillars with the giant red horn that mutilate our tomato plants.
So it's perfectly understandable that children who watch their parents do this try to help out, and then it gets turned into a game over time. Not because parents are teaching children to be cruel, but because children are trying to emulate their parents but lack the mental faculties that come with age to truly understand WHY their parents do these things.
>>1982245
>at Uni
>in between classes
>decide to sit by the river and eat a sandwich
>some ducks come by
>feed the guys some bread
>even get a couple to eat out of my hand
>a few minutes go by and I don't even realize I started talking to the ducks as if they understand me
>say things like "here you go girl, you didn't get any bread crumbs yet. you're very pretty. I think I'll name you Autumn since your feathers are so rich and remind me of brown leaves"
>I run out of crumbs from my sandwich and the ducks go away
>realize there were 6-7 people watching me
>probably got recorded on someone's phone and uploaded to Twitter
what can I say. I love ducks
>>1987650
quirky xD
>>1993497
>feeding ducks breadcrumbs
>>1987650
>this is common in idiots and irresponsible nitwits
FTFY.
>>1983117
Kid be following primal instincts n shit
Two things
>look after snails and worms on pavement and put them on the other side if they are headed in that direction
>feed two crows in my neighbourhood
>whistle and wait until they arrive
I don't really care if I get marked as autistic
>>1987789
>no blini
>>1982245
I have a bee fetish so I thought it'd be kinda hot if I saved (as in, it was drowning and I really did want to save) her by drowning her in honey. I don't know why I thought this was a good idea. It was already struggling to live and now it can't breathe. I thought I did a good deed but I came back an hour later and it was boiled under 90°F SoCal weather.
This was all caused by me having a burial ceremony as a child with a friend where we buried a bee in a moth cocoon and numerous ceremonies I conducted as a child where I built a minature coffin and placed bees in them and buried them in a small mud pit while putting tombstones or scarecrows made out of coffee stirrers and paper towels on top.
>>1985846
you're a lovely person
When I was little, maybe between the ages of four and six, I would build little structures out of grass, sticks, and rocks. I'd have them all over the yard. When my parents tried to call me in, I'd insist on finishing.
My reasoning was that it was going to rain, and orphaned kittens and puppies would need my grass huts as shelter to survive the night. I was certain it was going to happen eventually, so I made them every time I went outside, just in case orphaned baby animals got caught in the rain. If my parents wouldn't let me finish, I'd freak out and tell them that if I didn't finish, they'd be responsible for the dead kittens.
>sophomore year in high school
>tennis club practice
>hit a fuckin home run into a patch of trees
>go to get the ball
>walk towards it, hear a louder crunch than the leaves and a peep
>look down
>stepped on a really disheveled looking bird
It looked like it was already close to death but fuck, I still feel guilty.
>>1995923
So I live in a small gated housing estate and have developed a bit of a reputation.
> baby toads and newt season
> all on the back path getting stood on and killed
> go around at two in the morning and 5 rounding them up and moving them on.
> hear a voice from one of the houses
> open window
> "what the fuck there's a lady in her pjs picking up slugs"
> " yeah she does that lol"
Also make friends with every animal in the area, cats etc
> neighbour has an old cat
> thing can jump over the fence to get out the garden but can't get back in
> regularly have to knock on their door holding there cat so he can get back in
> he would follow me into town if I didn't or meow at our door, he even stayed at ours for a couple of hours while it was snowing and the owners were out.
I miss catbro :(
When I cook, my pups stand by on high alert for scraps. So naturally I pretend that they're the kive audience of my cooking show, which I host in a variety of stupid accents. They love it, I'm sure.
>>1985780
>you need to go to therapy because you were grumpy and used the word "shitbag"
Are you for real?
>>1996116
You should film it
>>1989556
fucking what
>early 20s, during a really shitty day, have a huge fight with my brother over some stupid shit (he's a NEET that is ultra-sensitive about everything)
>while having dinner he keeps talking shit, I ignore
>he's smoking while pacing around the kitchen and talking
>notices spider on wall
>he hates spiders but I love my spiderbros, really, so I usually take them outside
>I say "just wait for me to finish eating, I'll take it out"
>brother smiles, puts out his cigarette on the spider while looking at me in the eyes and saying "oops"
>he knows I love spiders
>calmly finish eating
>light a cigarette
>walk up to him silently
>put out my cigarette on his arm while saying "oops"
>looking back at it, it was a dick move
>but at least I avenged spiderbro and ended the argument with him looking like a fucking manchild, I swear to god he called our mother to complain about it
>we were both already adults
>>1996830
Fuck it, I hope your nigger brother learned not to be a dick for no reason.
>>1982245
> lose best dog ever to a truck while I was at work
> wife could have been home with him, but didn't want to stay home and went to her mother's instead
> broken hearted
> hold his collar and sit on couch all day
> won't talk to wife
> wife gets me Fallout 4 to cheer me up
> get Dog as companion
> still sad, but OK
> go up against Raiders, Dog gets surrounded and incapped
> KILL
> MODE
> ENGAGED
> expend two fusion cores, 500 rounds of 5mm, 50 rounds of 12 gauge, 100 rounds of 10mm, three molotovs and two grenades
> the last guy I found, I punched him until he came apart
> wife is a little horrified
> still not OK
>>1982245
> Gifted a betta last Christmas
> Blow all my money on making nice 5 gal for him
> He dies anyway- combo of old age and nobody telling me he'd need a heater
> Decide "nope nope" and make tank a cory tank isntead
> See a cute little black female beta
> Squee. MUST HAVE FISH.
> Carry beta home babytalking the fish
> Blow even more money upgrading the tank
> Still talk to the fish every day at feeding time
> Room mates come in and stare at me talking to each of the fish
> Even the cories have names.
> I am declared "adorable yet disturbing"
> Now feed the fish when I'm home alone so I can talk to the fish in peace.
Now I'm known as the Fish whisperer.....
>>1997094
D'aw
>>1997078
You have an excellent wife and I hope you avenge your dog thoroughly.
>>1997094
>nice 5 gal
that's not a thing
>combo of old age and nobody telling me he'd need a heater
so it died of negligence on your part
>>1997078
>mad your wife does not stay home all day raising your fucking dog
>amused by videogames
>throwing tantrums while playing videogames
grow up and be less of a piece of shit all the time.
>>1997143
>clearly never lost a close friend
>calls other people pieces of shit for having emotional reactions to traumatic events
I found the autist guys.
>>1997151
>emotional reactions to traumatic events
it sounds like you'd be right, but read what the piece of shit actually wrote again:
> wife could have been home with him, but didn't want to stay home and went to her mother's instead
> won't talk to wife
