Can you guys give me your opinion on my girlfriend's story? Honestly, I think her mother is a psychopath and I'm pretty shocked to how she treats her. This is going to be pretty long but everything must be understood.
Her mother and father left her when she was around 7 or 8 years old, and she was left with her grandparents. Her mom was a drunk and fought a lot with her father, which was also a drunk, they were both addicts, and they ignored her and repressed her a lot until they left her to her grandparents. Her mom slept around after she divorced/broke up with her father and she was never nice to her, always said that she hated her and ignored her, called her names, hated her for no reason. She used to hear how her mom was having sex with different guys since her mom had a lot of problems with addictions and drugs. She never felt love from her parents, told me that her dad was nicer than her mom but her dad doesn't seem to care that much either since even today he's still a drunk, even though her mom is better, I'll get to that later.
Continuing
Her parents left her at the age of 7 or 8 to her grandparents, not exactly sure which of those two ages. But anyway, she was left to her grandparents, and she never felt wanted by them, because her mom and dad just left her there. Her grandparents were the closest she had to parents, but they are very old and she had to take care of them during her teens and even earlier, which left her with no free time and she honestly felt like a servant to them, didn't feel much loved from them either even though I do believe that they loved her. Her grandmother passed away and she was forced to see her mother after so many years, she is 19 now and hadn't seen her mom ever since she left her and her dad for a couple of years as well. Her mom was at a ward because of her addictions for a couple of years. After she left that ward she had another child and didn't even think of visiting her current one, so she has no excuse. Instead of coming straight away and apologizing, if being an addict was her excuse, she had another child.
So, she met her mom when her grandmother was about to die, and she was mad and didn't want to see her, because of course after the first seven years of her life being treated bad by her own mother, and then after so many years she had another child instead of seeing her, she wouldn't be pleased from seeing her mother. They talked and got into a fight, her mom got angry and told her many harsh things, like how she never loved her, how it was her fault for her grandma dying, since she was the one taking care of her, I mean what does she fucking expect, leaving a child to take care of her mother AND father and she's MAD at her? That she wasted her child's years taking care of their parents? The years that people say to be the best of your life?
She called her a lot of other awful stuff, but that one got to her uncle as well. She never really had a lot of relatives supporting her except for her uncle, grandfather and grandmother, and her uncle's wife. I don't know why but her uncle started defending his sister, her mother, even if it's his sister she left her child, and then when she got better, she made ANOTHER child, her mother should be ashamed of herself not mad at her. And that basically ruined her relationship with her uncle, one of the few people she could trust, and her grandfather is pretty shocked because of his wife, her grandmother's death, and she doesn't want to talk to him because she doesn't want to stress him out.
She recently saw her mother again at a store, a bad coincidence, her mother was with her boyfriend and daughter, she apparently introduced them sarcastically and before she left she told her that she's happy for ruining her relationship with her uncle, because she says that she doesn't deserve anyone to love her, how even she her mother, didn't. And that's really bad because my girlfriend has felt really bad about never being loved, how her parents raised her, then how she was left to her grandparents. How fucking psychopathic do you have to be? What's her mother's problem? Why are such people like her allowed to have more children when they can't be good parents?
unfortunately, even the shittiest people on earth can have children. That sucks for her. Hope you're good to her.
Where you live op her mom might have an accident;) an need help
Fuck if I know.
I've had therapists say my mom sounds like a monster. She used to tell me my grandma didn't love me and only had me over because she doesn't have her own friends. Some parents believe raising their kids with trust issues and anxiety is beneficial, I guess.
Eventually I learned, my mom doesn't have her own friends. She has people she talks to, she's social, she isn't "close" to people though. She talks about all her friends behind their backs. Ditches them when there's real problems.
I think my mom cared more about having a child, or the idea of a child/family. Not me as a person. Because she still does. She "loves" me. But my understanding of what that means and hers are dramatically different things. I don't love her, and her "love" will never register as such for me.
Best I can do, treat her like somewhat toxic material that I have to interact with if I want to maintain family relations. Don't have too much exposure, be sure to thoroughly scrub anything that has come in contact with it. Always be aware of what it is, where it is, and what could be interacting with it. Safety first.
