Is there anyone here with disassociation? I'm not sure if I just disassociated or not, it was weird.
I suffer from diagnosed anxiety and OCD, so normally I'm pretty anxious, but I deal with it. I was in the kitchen, making food, when I suddenly had a thought of my girlfriend cheating, causing a spike in anxiety, but I understood it as an intrusive though. Suddenly, however, I felt a spike of anxiety for an hour or so, like quite intense anxiety and sadness, but afterwards I felt numb; too numb. It didn't feel like I was totally "there" for anything, like I was on auto-pilot. It was like I was slightly detached from my thoughts, actions, etc. I was having anxious thoughts, but with no anxiety. It wasn't a good "no anxiety" though, it just felt like overwhelming apathy combined with a feeling of not being quite 'there'.
Was this me disassociating? that would make sense with an anxiety disorder, right? How do I snap back to reality if it happens again?
Thanks.
>>17146965
The latter part does sound like dissociation.
You can look up grounding techniques, sometimes people will recommend you hold something heavy to "ground" yourself. Sometimes people will recommend you repeat a mantra. I usually find having someone talk to me on the phone helps, I have a friend who loves to ask me questions and it forces me to be conscious about who/where I am.
>>17146985
Okay, thanks.
It was concerning. I feel super drained now. Maybe it was just anxiety combined with tiredness, but I'll certainly be aware of these feelings in the future.
Thanks, I was listening to music which kind of helped as I sang the lyrics. You sound lime you have a good friend, anon.
>>17146965
psych major here. yeah, sounds like textbook dissociation. there's the stress, which triggers a defense mechanism in you to withdraw hence the feeling of not being there. it's a form of detachment to cope with the problem. but that's just current theory on why. it does give some comfort in being easily understood.
if you're diagnosed then keep up your therapy. those take consistency before actually having any changes. ask your doc for something with less crappy sides than benzos.
as an armchair psychologist, face your problems in smaller doses. try a philosophical approach and understand that you do not own your girlfriend. human beings have free will and are subjects that cannot be reduced to objects or arbitrarily given meaning. and because a relationship requires two subjects in willful acceptance, then there is true value in a relationship. because both of you freely choose to be together, and the beauty is that in all of the choices, you are committed to each other. the possibility of infidelity gives value to the fact that you have stayed together, or even got together in the first place.
you do not own people. you share in their presence. you don't possess, you are together with. it's being with, not having.
>>17147051
Yes, I understand I do not own my girlfriend, I recognised the paranoid thought as intrusive. We recently went long-distance and I think it's subconciously fucking my shit up. That's a nice way of looking at things, actually.
I'm playing a constant game here where I don't want to be too clingy w/ her, but I don't want to be too cold. I'm veering into the "too cold" approach and I think she's noticed, which again fuels paranoia. I think this stress, combined with stress from uni and life, led to my episode.
Yes, it absolutely was dissociation. Sometimes when we get overwhelming emotions, our brains try to protect us from the pain by putting us half asleep (into dissociation). See a cognitive behavioral therapist, they may be able to help you if they're competent.
I highly recommend you read Feeling Good by Dr David Burns, as it's been extremely helpful to me in many ways. The title says it's for depression, but the methods outlined work for anxiety, ptsd, and many other things as well. Seriously, buy that book right now.
>>17147505
That's what I assumed. Thanks for the input. I recently got out of CBT for my anxiety and OCD issues, so I know the principles of it. I'll maybe look into going back.
I just gave it a google, looks interesting + helpful. I'll see if my local library has it, thanks anon.
It's crazy how mental health works. A small bit of anxiety as a child just spirals into a palette of disorders in adulthood. Oh well, everyone has shit like that to deal w/.
>>17147489
>Yes, I understand
Just to go with the philosophical side of things, thinking you "understand" is a pitfall. There's a natural attitude or a commonsense way of thinking that you don't look past when you think you just get it so you're stuck in the way you've always thought about it.
>I recognised the paranoid thought as intrusive
That's using psychological terminology to justify your conception. It's oversimplifying things. It's not instantly paranoid to worry about losing someone who is important to you. That's natural. But there are ways of handling it.
>veering into the "too cold" approach
That's the tough bit. Detachment is different from calm. You can deal with anxiety by not dealing with it but that only ever works temporarily. It's the difference between not worrying because you don't have anything to worry about to begin with, and actually having something to lose but still being calm.
You might also want to try exposure therapy. It's been quite effective so far. Check this guy's thread since he has a related problem (social anxiety and panic attacks) >>17146964.
Also
>going long-distance when you have anxiety and OCD
You might be biting off more than you can chew right now OP. That's a lot to handle. Her thinking you're being cold when you're actually just scared shows a bit of that strain your condition is causing. You might be educated to your condition, but it always helps when friends and family actually get it too.
Try mindfulness meditation. http://marc.ucla.edu/body.cfm?id=22
If that doesn't work, try talk therapy.
>>17146965
if you blanked out once probably not. just consider your self lucky and dont overthink it
