So as I get older I find it more and more difficult to genuinely give a shit about other people or their problems. I look out for myself and my interests before anyone else's. Of course I wasn't raised this way, I just sort of grew into who I am. Somewhere along the way I learned(and idk how) see people for how they would be of use to me rather than see them as people.
Now as I'm 19 and trying to date, I literally cannot find myself being genuinely interested in a girl in any way that isn't purely physical. Every physical interaction, be it a passionate kiss or even some other stuff, feels like kind of a transaction for me. I do my business and then I'm done. I'm unable to really enjoy human intimacy I guess and its only getting worse.
Now this is spreading to how I interact with my family. I love them all very dearly, especially my parents and sister, but I can't stand them being in the same room as me when I'm by myself. I unknowingly become a passive aggressive asshole until they leave, they try and interact with me but something inside of me wants me to push them away, keep them out, make them feel awkward so they have to leave the room because of the painful silence. Why am I like this? I know I'm introverted but it's just become misanthropic at this point.
I'd also like to point out I'm not one of those full blown autistic introverts who doesn't know how to interact with others when I have to. I'm really social and charming when I need to be, cold and calculated when I don't. What's wrong with me?
>older
>19
You are practically still a child, the brain doesn't finish developing until 25. Probably just getting the teen rebellion you-can't-tell-me-what-to-do horseshit started a little late, that's all.
I mean, if you are fine living with no friends, family, and no relationships besides ONS once and a while, I'm not here to stop you. It's your life. Just make sure you have some kind of plan in place so the authorities don't find your mummified corpse still sitting in your recliner in 50 years because no one noticed you weren't around for a decade plus.
>>17145162
I say older because ever since I was 16, I've gone completely numb emotionally toward others. I can fake it real good but I haven't felt anything genuine and have been unable to since I was 16. I also went through my rebellious stage when I was in like middle school. My folks and I are cool, I just get really short with them sometimes and I can tell it hurts them which bothers me deeply but idk how to change it. I doubt I'll die without anyone noticing, I'm really close to my family if anything and I have a few friends that care about my well being. I just don't care about anyone but myself and idk what made me like this, I used to be caring. I still am in some ways, I do nice things for my family to make up for how shitty I am sometimes.
You are just an edgy teenager, get over yourself.
If you want to be different or special just learn cool skills, don't try to be the "im so weiiird" kind of guy.
You are forcing the typical "manipulative cold fake charming" sociopath so bad it's not even funny lol.
>>17145113
>So as I get older I find it more and more difficult to genuinely give a shit
Have you tried a laxative?
At worst you're an edgy teenager who wants to be Patrick Bateman 2.0.
At best you're going to grow up to be the grumpy old man living alone in the house where kids don't want to get their balls from your yard.
Stop trying to force labels onto your personality, we get it, you're a person too. But if you were a sociopath, you would have much clearer, stronger signs than "I don't really give a shit about most people". Most people don't give a shit about most people, have you never looked at literally any corporation ever?
