How am I supposed to love women or form a relationship when I don't respect them? I have been thinking about why I'm in the situation I'm in and have realized that I rarely develop feelings for a lady and when I do it's actually all just me fantasizing. When I realize they are probably just like all the other women that I don't feel anything for and almost certainly don't fit my fantasy (why the hell would they? That's totally absurd) then I lose all my respect for them and don't want to date them anymore. I mean I still sort of want to have sex with them but the motivation really isn't there anymore.
The obvious solution to this is to start respecting the way women really are but in my opinion respect is earned and they have done nothing to earn it. I mean I don't respect just any random guy either but I don't have romantic feelings for guys so it's not a problem I just treat them with some basic level of civility and when our business is done we carry on with our lives. I do think that I am more prone to respect men though for some reason. I think maybe I respect chastity and for some reason I am more prone to believe that guys would be this way (whether it's by choice or not). Rationally how promiscuous you are doesn't say much about you as a person other than you like to sleep around (risky behaviour?), although it does mean something when it comes to relationships.I can't really explain why, it just does. Maybe it's male instinct?
Pic related - How do you reconcile this quote with believing that respect is earned and not simply given? Ideally two people would earn each others respect, not simply return it because it was given to them.
Date women who have actually accomplished things you admire or respect.
What kind of women are you dateing? Baristas with tits? Or women who double as admirable people?
>>17144949
Well guys aren't any more chaste than women (unless you believe the women are fucking each other and not men.) so that part makes no sense. But your odd bias is neither here nor there.
If you want to find women who can earn your respect you actually have to give them that chance. If you just write them all off immediately you're never going to get anywhere.
Chat with women in your workplace/college/uni, chat to women in bookstores, try meeting women in places that are generally considered more "intellectual" and go from there. Aim to get to know people, and don't place unrealistic expectations on them and disappoint yourself before they've even had a shot.
A lot of this is your own doing by the sounds of it.
>>17144956
Well there is nothing wrong with these women, they are just normal people. But when I realize they are probably a little bit gossipy, a little bit promiscuous, and a little bit entitled it doesn't really matter what else they do or have done. One girl was a med student but it just sort of cancelled out. Like I can respect that you are very intelligent and driven, but when it comes to forming a relationship there is just no respect in that department. I am by no means Mr. Perfect either, I mean I'm sure there are plenty of reasons to not respect me, I don't respect myself a lot of the time because I'm not living up to my expectations either. I'm not some manly man with stories of adventure and career success to regale you with until you're at your deathbed. My expectations are high for myself and also for the people I'm interested in and when I realize that they don't meet them I lose respect and with it I lose a lot of the non-physical attraction and my willingness to put effort in to the relationship.
>>17144992
This must be all my own doing but how am I supposed to undo it and become attracted to lower expectations. When I hear that I think "settling" and that the idea of settling disgusts me.
It sounds like you're going your own way.
