I'm really frustrated, I have been with my wife for 10 years. She has never had an orgasm, even at the age of 33, it's becoming depressing. We have explored all types of options and methods but unfortunately it's not enough. There have been a few times during sex and foreplay were I have gotten her almost to the point of having one. But she will stop, and won't let me progress with what ever is bringing on these new feelings. I am starting to believe she was abused as a child an associates the good feelings with something bad. Any advise ? I don't make my feelings known so she won't feel pressured. But it's really bothering me if I can get off I want her to be able to feel good too.
>>17144971
Rape her
>>17144971
Just tell her. I swear 90% of couple problems are solved with communication. I'm on mobile and too lazy to double check, but you've been married for many many years so at this point you should be able to talk about anything. Tell her like you told us: "I just want you to feel good too". If she doesn't want it, she doesn't want it. If that's how she feels good then so be it. It's the thought that counts at least. Make love don't fuck.
>>17144971
Have you tried vibrators?
orgasms can be a spinal reflex. I initiate mine with the famous Japanese one. What is it called. .. someone help me find the name...
At 33 years old and never have had an orgasm? Sounds like maybe killing yourself is a good idea?
well, idk, I use to have this problem at 19 and I'd cry myself to sleep. Then I gave up and accepted that my body isn't capable of feeling good. I thought maybe I'm defective and I just have to deal with it. I let go of expectations and I realized I do have orgasms, except they're just not that noticeable. I think maybe your wife should spend time alone masturbating and see if she can recognize one. It doesn't feel anything more than becoming tired, but if you start to recognize it and focus on it, you'll develop satisfaction. Knowing that you came is 50% of the orgasm.
oh look I didn't even read the thread. ...
I have communicated with her, I've just read a lot into if she's feeling pressured it is more difficult. She wants to have one but doesn't know why she can't. I'm no pro at eating pussy but I'm good enough. An dick size is average length and from other women I've been with the girth is above average. Then add toys, being romantic, rough sex and love making im unable to get her to that point. She has even tried during masturbation and still a no go.
>>17144971
This isn't your issue, it's hers. She needs to learn to relax and let it happen. If she's stopping you because she's interpreting impending orgasm with feeling like she needs to pee, put some towels down and tell her she just needs to let you keep going. Relinquishing physical control might help -- blindfold and tie her up. Establish a safeword so that if she really needs you to stop, she can stop you (and you should honor this).
Ultimately though, this is dependent on her and her willingness to explore how to have an orgasm.
One thing I can say for sure is my wife does have a very negative view of her self. By no means is she unattractive but her mother has been able to engrave this "your worthless and deserve nothing good in your life" attitude into her head. She has gotten a lot better about this but my wife is still extremely self conscious.
>>17145015
Has she tried masturbating alone to porn she likes without you knowing about it?
it's always more difficult for me to get off if I'm touching myself when there's someone next to me. Just let her look for her darkest deepest fantasies and be alone with them?
>>17145024
I'm glad u mentioned the feeling to pee that is what she would tell me when I could tell something was building up
>>17145031
She's tried masturbating but she says she is less comfortable alone.
10 years? Lmao , I feel sorry for her. What were you doing for those 10 years? Wanking off?
Hitachi magic wand clinical trial. Google it! .
>>17144971
A standard suggestion from marriage/sex counselors is Stop trying so hard.
They frequently order couples to NOT have orgasms or try for them for a while, but to back off to stroking/cuddling/caressing, just to recover (or discover for the first time) the quiet pleasures of unpressured intimacy and contact.
It sometimes happens that real arousal develops from this alone, but at the very least it helps you both realize that there is more to sex than orgasms.
>>17144996
Hitachi Magic Wand?
Can she make herself climax during masturbation. If not, this is ALWAYS the first step. It is the safest, easiest and least pressure environment to experience the new feelings.
Try this, but get some drinks first. Or not idk.
Let her suck you off diring this
My wife is the same, she doesn't seem to have much of a sex drive
Whatever I'll just fap to doujinshi as I always did
>>17144976
Yeah thats what they usually like.
She s probably ine if thise sick sluts, just use her please. Tied her up, stick all kinds if stuff in her etc etc.
Maybe ask her "Whos your daddy huh, whos your daddy huh you little slut, TELL ME WHOS YOUR DADDY"
women are sad and have weak, malfunctioning sex drives. nothing to be done about it
>>17144971
>I am starting to believe she was abused as a child an associates the good feelings with something bad
Most likely. Therapy is the solution.
>>17144971
OP,
Its not you. I had this same problem with an ex. She had never had an orgasm. She would get so sloppy wet that when I was pounding her, her juices would come squirting out (same idea as a queef, just liquid instead of air). It bugged the shit out of me as before her and since, I've never failed to give a girl at least 6 orgasms per sexytime. So I looked it up. Something like 10% of women are incapable of having them. She even ended up talking to her sister about it, turns out, she'd never had one either. Some people are just wired wrong.
One little tip though. Get a small to medium buttplug for her. My current girl cums so hard and often, it's become a game to see how many times she can cum before I do. The current record is 32.
>>17144971
sybian
