Don't take a damn moment of your life for granted. I have lived most of my life with a sense of urgency, a sense of "okay, now on to the next thing". Yesterday I slowed down. I stopped running at what could be and from what shouldn't have been. Memories can fucking hurt, but dwelling in them just slows the time. If you keep running through life not only do you not stop to appreciate it, but you begin to take others and their time and feelings for granted. Stay anchored in the present. Look at your bright future from time to time, but please don't become trapped in chasing it. I have never in my 19 years on this earth had such a world-shaking realization. I sped through a 2 year relationship and then it ended. I grabbed onto the hope and lost face every time I looked back on my memories. I counted down the days of no contact. I kept pushing myself on to the next thing like "okay what is going to distract me next?". This is more than likely a contributing factor to my breakup as well. I have not been present. I have have spent 90% of my time in my own future and not with her. Not with my friends. Not with myself. If you want to try and get your ex back, as counter-intuitive as it is, you have to fix yourself, regardless of whether what you are fixing was the root of the problem. It ended because they lost sight of their connection/attraction to you/me, and unless the relationship was purely appearance based, there is no one thing you can fix to make it work. If they miss you, and still care for you, and they see somebody who is present, empathetic, and considerate at their core a month after the break-up, then your chances will exceed your expectations in a well developed internal checks and balances system.
>>17142806
>in my 19 years on this earth
o tell us your wisdom, elder one
And if you get sad, let it happen, don't push it down, don't move on to the next emotion. Fucking cry if you have to cry, scream and yell, just let it flow through you. The more you suppress, the more you have to run from, and it creates a state of mind nearly as bad as manic depression. This moment you/I aren't with her. She doesn't want you/me right now, she probably won't want you/me tomorrow. If she does, then maybe we/you need to seriously discuss the situation. If you can't move on from a separation, then the reason for separating is still present. If it ended then it was bound to. Realizing your/my own problems and insecurities, again regardless of where they played a part in the relationship is the only true step forward. If it hadn't ended the you would still be in that flawed relationship, and this is your chance to realize yourself and make your next one with her or whoever else even stronger. A breakup is a necessary evil in life, as if you never have conflict, especially internal, you can never learn and grow about how your interactions with others affect them as well as yourself.
>>17142832
I am proud of what I have found within myself. Billions of people before me have probably had the same realizations. I may not be as credible as a man who has lived a full life, but I don't think that makes my perspective invalid.
>19 years old
>dont take your life for granted ive been running for so long!
Thanks for the laugh op
>>17142832
The first time that i've lost it on /adv/, i took OP serious until i tripped across that sentence.
>>17142857
>>17142858
I don't feel the need to defend my statement, but I will acknowledge that it is pretty ridiculous sounding. Especially how I phrased it. I'm beginning to laugh now too
kek, starting to feel bad for busting op's balls now.
congratulations on your epiphany op. may you have many more every couple of years for the rest of your life, like the rest of us.
>>17142832
Kek this. At 19 you literally know nothing. Sorry
>>17142872
I hope to. I'm no longer concerned with demonstrating any fixes I make to my ex. Once we resume contact and begin hanging out again I am just going to stay grounded and enjoy my time with her and with my friends. That is the only constructive path I can see
>>17142806
>. If you want to try and get your ex back, as counter-intuitive as it is, you have to fix yourself, regardless of whether what you are fixing was the root of the problem
Not even close to being a one size fits all solution. Sometimes it ends because of something dumb as fuck.
>>17143129
I don't think it's a surefire way but it's a step out of that relationship and into any new one even if something about you wasn't the end of it. Reflection is important whether or not you had some personal issue that caused you a dilemma.
