Backstory first, then tl;dr
Summer 2015 I got my first job at Kmart. It was very hard, I thought, even if I didn't know any better since I never had a job before. Looking back it did suck. I worked 6 days a week, for 5 hours a day, and my days off were arranged so that I'd get 2 days off every 2 weeks.
I have a long distance boyfriend who lives in another state. We have a time difference of either 2 or 3 hours, depending on if daylight savings time is active. Thus, my schedule meant I rarely got to see my lover. I was so lonely and sad.
Despite my efforts, I fell in love with a coworker because he was kind to me and seemed to care. In my depression and loneliness that was all I needed to get hooked, because I missed my boyfriend's love and attention. It was a really hard time for all of us.
Something happened with my coworker and after all this time, nearly a year later, I can't forget him. He let me touch his hair and sometimes we hugged. I found out that I love to be petted. I was ass over teakettle for this guy. But he knew better since he knew I was taken. He was really cautious.
One night my coworker took me bowling, and then we went night driving. The moon was full and big and it was romantic as fuck. Along the way we stopped to talk and we were a little playful with each other. We knew it was "bad" but neither of us wanted to leave each other. It was a really romantic time either way. He had a nice smile.
Why do I keep thinking about this guy? He didn't have a good personality. He was always a busy busy college boy. Why do I care so much? Why can't I let go? Is it because I had feelings for him? He was very fun to touch
TLDR
>1 year ago, get first job
>never get to see my long distance boyfriend, really
>lonely and depressed, even more than usual
>fall for coworker hard
>had intense feels
>we hugged sometimes
>let me pet him
>why can't I stop thinking about this guy
>even after I cut him out of my life completely
You're the reason long distance relationships can never work. You actively went out of your way to be a cheating whore
OP, just break up with your boyfriend and find someone more local to you. Obviously this LDR thing isn't working out for you.
>>17136736
How is hugging making someone a cheating whore.
>>17136763
Not just the hugging. The flirting, touching, the 'night drives'. It's an accumulation of decisions that make her a cheating whore. Maybe not physically, but emotionally leading to physically.
>>17136787
She hasn't cheated on anyone. The way you make it out to be, you make it sound like a virgin girl who has dirty dreams has the same number of sex partners from the dreams as though she actually physically slept with them.
If you accept that "long distance relationships can never work" and are therefore not a thing, then OP can't cheat on something that doesn't work and is not a thing.
The only reason this didn't turn into something more is because the restraint and respect of your coworker. Your coworker respects your bf more than you do.
>>17136815
Just kill yourself you piece of shit.
To that one guy: I was very restrictive of myself. The furthest we went was hugging. It felt nice to get that from someone. Physically that isn't cheating, and yes I should've went to my boyfriend for that, but remember at the time he wasn't....there for me
On topic, why do I still remember lovingly petting that coworker's hair? I was curious and inquisitive
>>17136815
>>17136763
>>17137003
OP had what's called an 'emotional affair'. Where a physical affair would be getting physically intimate with another person, an emotional affair would involve feelings.
OP gave her feelings to another guy. This constitutes as an affair, which is an act of infidelity. Thefefore, OP cheated on her bf.
Men respond worse to their partner having physical affairs, and women respond worse to their partners having emotional affairs. OP picked the lesser of two evils in this situation, but she still cheated on her boyfriend.
